In short
The Daily Motivation: Episode Summary
Episode Title Kill Your Broke Identity And Build Real Wealth | Jen Sincero
Episode Description In this episode, Lewis Howes interviews best-selling author Jen Sincero who discusses the pivotal mental shifts required to escape a "broke identity" and achieve financial success. Jen emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and changing the narratives we tell ourselves about money.
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Key Concepts
- Understanding Your Identity with Money
- Background Influence: Jen reflects on her upbringing in a WASP household where discussing money was taboo. This led to a belief that wanting to make money was "uncool."
- Changed Perspective: Transitioning from a "starving artist" mentality to embracing the idea of financial abundance.
- The Power of Words
- Self-Identity: The phrases we frequently use, such as "I can't afford it," reinforce a limited self-identity and financial reality.
- Confirmation Bias: By constantly declaring financial incapability, individuals inadvertently seek proof of their statements, solidifying a negative financial reality.
- Comfort Zones vs. Familiarity Zones
- Breaking Free: Comfort zones are seen as "familiarity zones" which can be misleading, as they often trap individuals in unproductive patterns.
- Identity Shift: To achieve financial growth, one must "obliterate" their old identity, which can feel like a violent transformation.
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Key Arguments and Discussions
- The Loneliness of Growth
- Resistance from Close Ones: A common challenge faced by those pursuing personal growth is the lack of support from friends and family, who may feel threatened by the changes.
- Killing Off Old Identities: As individuals evolve, they may inadvertently "kill off" the identities that their loved ones are comfortable with, leading to resistance and disconnection.
- Navigating Relationships During Transformation
- Loss of Connections: The episode discusses the emotional toll that personal growth can take on relationships, as friends may drift apart when one person changes.
- Evolving Communities: Jen shares her experience of transitioning through various communities and the loneliness that can accompany such changes.
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Key Takeaways
- Real Wealth Begins with Mindset: Achieving financial success is less about external strategies and more about internal identity shifts.
- Language Shapes Reality: The narratives we create about ourselves directly influence our financial outcomes.
- Support Systems Matter: Identifying and surrounding oneself with supportive individuals is crucial during transformative periods.
- Embrace Change: Understand that change is often uncomfortable but necessary for growth; the process can lead to a richer and more fulfilling life.
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Additional Resources
- Jen Sincero's Book: *Make Money Easy* - A guide to transforming one's financial mindset and achieving abundance.
- Newsletter Signup: Stay updated on future episodes and insights at [Greatness Newsletter](http://www.greatness.com/newsletter).
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Conclusion This episode of The Daily Motivation highlights the intense personal and emotional work required to shift from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance. Through Jen Sincero's experiences and insights, listeners are encouraged to reflect on their relationship with money and the identities that may be holding them back.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.
0:12What was your perception of money before you started to make it versus when you started to make it? Well, I grew up in a super waspy household. So, you know, we don't discuss money like it's, you know, dirty and uncouth. Never learned anything about it at all. And no education around it. Oh, no. Oh, my God. No. Like nothing. and um and so when i so i was very um of the mind that it wasn't cool to want to make money you know the unholy dollar like i was a rock and roller so i was like more about the art and um you're not gonna sell yourself out exactly selling out like what a concept selling out basically means you're getting paid for doing what you love like why is that so bad right and then the whole starving artist crap and all that stuff yeah and that rich people sucked and I was too cool to focus on money I also believed I sucked at making it which was the truth um I also had a weird feeling that like I was it was almost like a different species it's almost like me there's me and then there's grown-ups right and I felt that way about money too like there's me and there's people who actually make like real money and have big houses and fancy cars and like do stuff like but I was I was like the child version of that, you know, always sitting at the kid table financially.
1:30And so it was a total identity shift that I had to go through where it was like that I could open myself up to like being somebody who could receive that kind of wealth. It was a real big shift for me. Do you think we have to go through an identity shift in order to see money differently and to be able to receive it differently? I think you do. Absolutely. That's a really great way to go at it. So what was your, you know, the key words around your identity with money when you didn't have much versus the key words that you would speak about within yourself or what money is once you started to unlock more money?
2:06Well, it wasn't necessarily around identity, my words, because I did have two very serious mantras. But there was a lot of visualizing myself with money. And like I wrote about buying the Audi and you are a bad and like, I'm not the kind of person who drives an Audi. Are you kidding me? And almost feeling like the guy who test drove it with me would be like, get out of here. I know who you are. You can't afford this. Exactly. But my mantra is really like, and before I started making money, I said, I can't afford it to pretty much anything you could throw at me. My first words out of my mouth were, I can't afford it.
2:42What are we doing when we're saying that, whether it's true or not true? We are buying into an identity as somebody who can't afford stuff. We are also proving it. You know, what you speak, you want to prove because you want to be right. And it is sort of the foundation of your reality. So when I say I can't afford it 100 times a day, I'm subconsciously pulling in proof. Like, look at the car I'm driving. I'm living in an alley. Like, I make this much money a year. I'm building all the foundational blocks to prove that I can't afford it. And that becomes my reality. And then that becomes my, I like to call it familiarity zone because comfort zones are not comfortable.
3:22Interesting. Right. So, so then I'm just proving it over and over and over. And that becomes my reality. And then to shift out of that literally means to obliterate your reality and your identity. Right. So that's like an explosion. It's like you have to have like a death, an explosion, a bomb almost to go off. It does. And it's killing off your old identity. And this is why I'm going to totally go off on a segue here. But this is why like the number one question I get at my talks is what do you do when the people closest to you don't support your growth? And the main reason they don't support it is because you're killing off the person they love.
4:00Oh, man. I mean, think about that. Like you're changing who you are and they're comfortable with who you are and they feel that's their reality, too, is caught up in who you are being. So when you decide to change, you're killing off their buddy or their whatever, and you're screwing up their reality because you fit into theirs. Wow. So it's really a thing. It's so interesting. I was telling someone on my team this a few weeks ago that in the different seasons of my life, from 18 until now, I have had all these amazing experiences from school to sports teams to moving to new cities to finding new groups and communities.
4:41and a lot of them I've outgrown in certain ways or just transitioned out of maybe not outgrown but just I've gone to do other things and continue to try to evolve I'm not saying I'm better than but I've continued to try to evolve and let go of the old me and and some of them don't like it and I lose friends totally in the process of changing myself reinventing myself letting go of old behaviors and stepping into a different, you know, identity. And it's not easy to have communities that you love and people you are familiar with and hanging out with that support you. And you go to parties and do whatever activities.
5:18And then all of a sudden they stop returning your calls. Yeah. And they stop texting you back and you feel sad, hurt, you know, disappointed. Yeah. That you're trying to go somewhere and they don't support that. It's a scary time. Yeah, it is. It's very lonely. That's why it's lonely at the top.
5:40I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy. And if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life, and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is going to help you transform your relationship with money this moment moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and thank you for listening to this episode of The Daily Motivation Show.
6:23Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily motivation and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description that will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.
7:13Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.
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Check out the full episode: https://greatness.lnk.to/1859
"The number one question I get at my talks is, what do you do when the people closest to you don't support your growth? The main reason they don't support it is because you're killing off the person they love." - Jen Sincero
Jen Sincero sat in the driver's seat of an Audi she couldn't imagine owning, convinced the salesman would recognize her as an imposter and kick her out. She said "I can't afford it" so automatically it became a reflex, spoken a hundred times a day like a prayer to poverty. But those three words weren't just describing her reality—they were building it, brick by brick. Every time she said them, she pulled in more proof: the terrible car, the alley apartment, the bank account that never grew. She was trapped at what she calls the "kid table financially," watching real adults with real money from a distance, like they belonged to a different species. The shift didn't come from budgeting tips or side hustles. It came from understanding something most people never grasp: comfort zones aren't comfortable at all. They're familiarity zones, and breaking out of them requires something violent and necessary—killing off your old identity completely.
This conversation cuts through every sugar-coated personal development cliché about money mindset. Jen talks about the WASP household where money was dirty, the rock-and-roller identity where wanting wealth meant selling out, and the brutal realization that to make real money, you have to obliterate the version of yourself that can't. Lewis and Jen dig into why this transformation is so lonely, why the people who love you often resist your growth hardest (you're literally killing off the person they know), and what it actually takes to shift from someone who can't afford things to someone who can. If you've ever felt stuck financially while watching others succeed, if "I can't afford it" comes out of your mouth more than you'd like, or if you're trying to grow and finding your closest relationships straining under the weight, this one will shake something loose.
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