Live A More Impactful Life With These Simple Steps | Dr. Mariel Buqué EP 818

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:12I like the idea of challenging, of challenging thoughts, right? But the thing about challenging thoughts is that the first step is that we have to write down the limiting thoughts that have been there. We have to write down the emotions that have been associated with those limiting thoughts. And then we have to challenge those thoughts, like actively challenge them. There's so many of us that are walking around this world not having challenged a lot of those initial ideas that we've created around ourselves, regardless of where they came from. They could have been from a parent who told you, you disappoint me, you're not good enough, right?

0:47And that manifested into a mental representation of themselves as not being good enough. But we have to look at the root and then challenge the root and then also work on the emotional piece. an emotional piece. I like the work around emotions to be like very body centered because emotions are very situated in the body. And so it's a, it's a mind practice and that we're writing all these things down, but it's also a body practice. It's an integration. It is. Mind and body. You got to integrate it. I definitely have had my fair share of imposter syndrome of wondering if I, you know, if, if I meet the mark, if I've been in spaces where I've, I've been the only person that looks like me.

1:26I'm a black Latina, right? I'm from the working class. I've entered a lot of elite spaces, you know, for, for education. You know, I got an Ivy League education for my doctorate and I was very much, you know, not seeing myself mirrored in a lot of these spaces. So it definitely like made me wonder a lot. You were standing out. I was, yeah. Yeah. And I, you know, it can be very isolated, that experience, you know? And so I think that it It makes you wonder, like, do I belong here? Is my voice, you know, welcome? Like that sort of thing. So that definitely has been something that has been a struggle for me.

2:01And I think it will forever be like something that I know has been there. But I work really, really hard on a daily basis. So if you're coaching someone else that's in a similar situation, they stand out in their industry. They look different. They don't fit in, I guess, right? How would you coach them if they said they feel like, I don't know if I belong or I feel like an imposter? How would you coach them to interpret that differently? I would start with the body always. So I would definitely do some imagery exercises with them to place them in their mind in that space. And do some relaxation exercises with them around that.

2:38Because that's always my thing. To get them relaxed first. Yeah. To start creating from that space. Exactly. I want safety. Yes. Yeah. Always safety. However, I do always want to ask, like, who told you you don't belong? Because that's a question that we're not explicitly asking ourselves. Like, someone said that in the STEM field, there isn't open spaces for women, right? Like, something happened there, right? Who said that women don't belong in STEM? I always want to ask that question. Of course, we know some of the answer, right? But I think societally, you know, like, there's been, like, ways in which we've created spaces that have been for specific populations.

3:16And so we have to start asking, like, who said that there isn't a space that's open for you? I think that the reason why I ask that question is because I think that, you know, it opens up the mind to really wonder about that. And I think it also offers like a little bit of empowerment to the person that's receiving that question. Like, yeah, who told me that I don't belong, you know? And like really stepping into that. And I've done that for myself and it's been incredibly helpful. I would want them to like really do Do some heavy lifting around the emotional piece. I think that that's always going to be an important aspect of doing work that's imposter syndrome centered, right?

3:52Because at the heart of it is fear. There's a fear of a lot of things, but, you know, like fear of belonging is a big one, right? Like, do I belong? And so if we're talking about fear of belonging, if we're talking about not feeling good enough, a lot of those areas are what we really need to work on. So that's the depth work, right? The other stuff is a little bit more superficial. It's like where we start, but then we got to get into the emotion part. Getting to this level of education, I think, is something that I hold a lot of pride around because I worked so hard. And I was able to overcome at least like the bigger pieces of imposter syndrome around that.

4:29And also a lot of things like I wasn't taught to operate at this level. Right. And so a lot of it was self-taught at this level of education. You know, I'm definitely a first generation in that regard. There's a lot of bureaucracies that you got to learn and know, like when you're operating in like, you know, educational spaces that are higher ed in this way. I'm a very intuitive person. So my own intuition helped me to really scan environments in a way that helped me to learn the environment in a very concrete way and then learn to operate within it. But also just be myself. I like bring myself.

5:03I say I bring my sauce because I'm like, I'm going to bring my whole Dominican self into whatever space that I'm like a part of. And, you know, everybody like who's around me, you'll have to adjust, right? Like rather than me like adjusting to the environment and like reconfiguring myself. So that's been something that I've been like really proud of, just like stepping into spaces that where I felt like before I don't belong and just just proclaiming that I do.

5:35Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving The Daily Motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

6:25Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.