Overcome FEAR & Start Achieving Anything You Desire | Stephen A. Smith EP 267

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation show.

0:10I firmly believe that taking charge of your mindset allows you to be in the driver's seat of your life and unlock your potential. And that's why I'm thrilled to share that my new book is out right now. It's called The Greatness Mindset. In it, you'll learn how to build a plan for greatness through powerful exercises and toolkits designed to propel your life forward. This is the book that I wish I had 20 years ago. It's everything I've learned in the last decade with the research and the science to help you unlock your mind. Make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash 2023mindset to pick up your copy of my book, The Greatness Mindset, today.

0:50How does someone overcome the doubts that come up? Whether it be the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of other people's opinions, the fear of pleasing their parents. How do they overcome the doubts and start to gain that confidence, that self-esteem like you? Well, a couple of things. Number one, first of all, understand you're not alone. That everybody you run across has had doubts. Everybody you've run across has had apprehension about who they are, where they are, where they're going, etc. You're not alone. In situations like that, you want company. You want to feel like you're not this aberration in the wilderness of fear.

1:24And you're the only one that doesn't have the courage to tackle it and overcome it. That's number one. Number two, educate yourself about what you want to do. You should be scared if you're clueless. You should be scared if you're ignorant to what you want to do, why you want to do it, and how you intend to go about achieving whatever aspirations you may have. You're supposed to, if you're going to overcome that fear at some point, knowledge is a part of the equation. So educating yourself about what it is your field is, what it is your aspirations are, whatever the case may be, the minefields that lie in wait, all of these different potential minefields, etc., etc.

2:06You got to know to educate yourself about those things because you have no shot at overcoming it if you don't educate yourself. And last but not least, you know, it's not just about educating yourself and knowing that you have company. the most important thing is really putting yourself in and it requires like a literal not just figurative but a literal look in the mirror asking yourself how you will feel if you never try if i don't go for this where's that gonna leave me when you don't do that what you have done is refrain from challenging yourself to be all you could be because there's no one that could become all they could be without looking at themselves absolutely but you have to have consistency because without consistency and putting in the work the dream is nothing but a dream and i get all of that but you have to be able to look at yourself and you have to be able to be honest with yourself and know when you mess up because when you mess up Lewis it's gonna catch you at some point you're gonna look at you and you're gonna say I didn't try I didn't go for it I often tell people this particularly when it comes to relationships relationships come and go things don't work out sometimes but there is nothing on earth worse than when you know you're the reason it messed up see if somebody mistreats you if somebody that you love wants you you know don't want you no more but you wanted them and you treated them right and blah blah blah but it didn't work out it hurts but you'll be fine yeah most people will be fine when you're not fun is when you know it was you and you messed up you messed you heard them you want you wanted them and you messed up and you messed up now if you didn't want them and you messed up okay because you didn't want them perfectly illogical explanation as to why you messed up but when you wanted them and you effed up it's no greater pain yeah because you got to look at you you got to think i blew this and that's some hard hard stuff to overcome because it lives with you because no matter what you have, even if it's better, you don't know it because you're thinking about what you lost because you're the one who messed up.

4:29If they messed up, you ain't thinking about it like that. But if you messed up, you're always thinking about what you lost and it's hard to move forward. You talk about your dad and I'm curious, the biggest lesson he taught you, whether in a good way or a bad way, that you said, this is something he did positive that I'm going to do as a father or something that I'll never do as a father that he did. What is that lesson? And what has he taught you about fatherhood now that you are a father? The importance is two things, one positive, one negative. The positive part is he taught us the importance of laughter because my father was funny.

5:07Really? And, you know, he was exceptional in sports and he was an exceptional calypso dancer. He could sing and he would make people laugh and smile all the time. He could light up a room. You could bring up a lot of gifts, but somebody's ability to make other people laugh is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give anybody. That's a positive. The negative is that, and it answers the question about fatherhood, he taught me what not to be as a father. My father, it just wasn't good. I loved him. I always will. But I didn't shed a tear when he was gone. My lack of respect for my father has very little to do with me.

5:51It has very little to do with how he quote unquote treated my mother. Because my philosophy is don't put your hands on a woman. He put his hands on my mother. We had killed him. But he never did that. And he preached against it. So I give him credit for that. but what he did with my mother he forced her to be the man of the house i am unapologetic about the fact that if you can afford it it is your responsibility as a man to provide for your family especially for why just has six kids yes he's gonna take care of nurturing and feeding and it's your job it's your job any help that she can give you is great but the responsibility is supposed to be yours.

6:40And if you can't do it, you scratch, claw, and even die trying. One of my favorite all-time shows was the show Good Times. James Evans Sr. He lived in the projects in Chicago. They had to scratch and claw. They barely had enough money to feed their family. It was popping in the projects. That's what they had to deal with. He was the one out there busting his butt every day to make sure that his wife and his children were provided for. I'm of that ilk. It means nothing to me. And I mean nothing. And I'm not married. I've never been married, even though I'll probably get married sometime in the near future.

7:18The bottom line is this. It's my responsibility. And I usually say this, and even though I would take care of my wife and what have you, I have two daughters, and I tell people all the time, if they're hungry, it's because I'm starving. I don't eat unless I know they eat. Wow. I'm not comfortable until they're comfortable. I'm not providing for me until I provide for them. When they're taken care of is when I get to take care of me. The priority is them because they didn't ask to be here. They're mine and they're my responsibility. And I live by that. and so to me any man that thinks differently is not the kind of man that i respect sure and my father is not that kind of man to me i can give up a couple of my cribs i can give up the cars i can give up any of that stuff what i can never give up is making sure that my daughters are provided for yeah that's my number one responsibility

8:39Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

9:29Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

9:44Thank you.