Secrets of a HUMAN LIE DETECTOR: Discover The HIDDEN EMOTIONS Behind Every Expression! | Annie Särnblad Ep 645

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:11What have you seen for yourself personally and with the work you've done with high-powerful individuals are the three main benefits of mastering the art of facial communication? So empathy and safety are what I call connection and protection. When we see what someone else is really feeling, We can adjust. We can help. We can love them better. You know, if somebody is really feeling uncomfortable, we know that they're feeling uncomfortable. And we can ask them questions and we can offer help. If someone, for example, is in an emergency and acquisitions situation and you say, okay, so I'm buying your company.

0:49I need to know that your technology is going to be ready in three months. And they go, absolutely. And that's the fear, right? So your body is betraying you. Your body is saying that you don't believe. Like, so do I know that you don't have the technology ready? No, but I know that you know there's some, your body's telling me there's something off with that. And so maybe it's just more information to say, okay, I could go forward, but it could be a greater risk. It shows us where to dig. Right, let me dig in deeper on that. That's fascinating. Is it possible, like even with you knowing this and studying this for so long, is it possible for you to lie and get away with it facially as well?

1:29Or is our body so intuitive that we could say a word and the body is just going to say the true meaning behind that word? So a really good spy can create two parallel lines of existing. It's probably just so uncomfortable. You have to disassociate with your mind and say, well, this is for a greater purpose or greater service. So I'm going to act as if I'm this person. Right. And why it's even really difficult for those of us who have loved ones who act. And so you're going to, your soon-to-be wife, you're going to have to have extra compassion when she's doing a role that demands a lot of emotion.

2:12And so her body is going to believe she's been through that trauma if she's doing a traumatic role. Yeah, luckily she hasn't done any traumatic stuff. She's done a lot more lighthearted, like romantic comedies. So it's a little bit easier, I think. That's a little easier. But you still have to play a character. Yes. And so, I mean, I think about, and my kids tease me about this all the time, because I'm always looking at these different actors and musicians, too, and going, oh, my God, who's parenting this person? Who's taking care of them? Because when we put ourselves through emotions, our brain believes we're going through it.

2:44So I found that for myself when I teach, and I'm holding the expression, like, you know, holding full-on fear. Your body feels it. My brain thinks I've lived it. You're in fight or flight. And so I would burst into tears the day after, even though there's nothing dramatic going on in my own life. You needed a release afterwards, yeah. So I need a 90-minute massage afterwards. That is fascinating because, I mean, I grew up in the world of sports and playing football. It was such a switch of a mentality, getting on the field. One, for safety, to put yourself in a warrior state. Because it is a warrior state.

3:18I even had an alter ego. I embodied a character of inflicting as much pain as possible on people. That was like a survival mechanism. Right, and that's a lot for your body. Exactly. It was like, how can I inflict as much pain as possible to dominate and win? Mm-hmm. And then afterwards, you need time to shed that character. Right. It would be hard to go from there to go on a date and be soft and warm and snuggly, right? Yeah, it's challenging for, I think, actors or athletes or musicians. musicians who have to play a character night after night and get back to a state of who they are, I would say.

3:56And think about even, I mean, so one of the things when you're telling me this, I'm thinking, well, at least you were moving in all of this. At least you had an outlet. So like physically there was some result of this. And I was tired too at the end. Right. I was exhausted. Yeah. Okay. So if you just, if you're acting and there's no physical piece of that, then you're just stuck with all this sort of nervous energy and trauma. Interesting. That's really interesting. So you really wanted to master this, one, for yourself, but also be able to teach your kids on how to be safe. What are the things you really teach them to look out for from their early childhood to teen years and then now into some of them into their professional lives?

4:35What were you teaching then and now? So the biggest piece is that the facial expressions need to match the words. The main focus for my little kids, when they were pre-verbal, we did a lot of mirroring. You know how you can get little babies, even before they start to speak, you can get them to stick out their tongue when you stick out your tongue. Raise your eyebrows, smile. And so we did a lot of like crazy eyes. I would get them to mirror a lot of and make sounds to the facial expressions. So we practiced the big macro expressions and I would put words to them in the same way I'd be, you know, coffee, apple, banana.

5:12So they've never not had words for expressions. And babies know this innately. It's our universal human language. It's the language on which we build spoken language. So our facial expressions are across all cultures. It's a species thing. So let me ask you this. How can you tell if someone's giving you a real smile? If they're smizing. Smizing. What's smizing? Kind of like right there. Yeah. Your eyes are kind of like crow eyes. Okay, so I can give you crow's feet. Oh, yeah. With a really fake smile. The bottom half is not there, yeah. It's all in our cheeks. Is it? Okay. Okay, so when we're happy, our cheeks pop up.

5:49And then this skin is usually flat. Uh-huh. And we get smile bags. Ah, okay, yeah. So if we have smile bags, that's not... So the cheeks are pushing up against the eyes. Yeah, it has nothing to do with the mouth. Because you can fake smile, but you're not authentic smiling. Gotcha, interesting. So all you have to do is look at the skin right here. If it's fat, they're happy. And that was my four-year-old saying to me when I took them out. I took my kids. We lived in Singapore when they were little. And I would take them out into the world and live narrate almost like a nature show in Swedish. Because it's not Swedish now.

6:18So I take my kids. So you see someone walking and you're having a conversation with each other. You say, they're doing this, they're doing this. Yeah. And then most of the time I do what you do, which is ask the questions. What do you see?

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7:26Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.