SOG EP 1629 BONUS: "We Attract People Based on Psychological Wounds" #1 Neuroscientist Explains How to Manifest Love!

0:03Hey everyone, this is Lewis Howes and I am so excited to invite you to the Summit of Greatness 2024 happening at the iconic Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California. This is more than just an event. It's a powerful experience designed to ignite your passion, boost your growth, and connect you with a community of other inspiring achievers. Join us Friday, September 13th, and Saturday, September 14th for two days packed with inspiration and transformation from some of the most incredible speakers on the planet. Don't miss out on this chance to elevate your life, unlock your potential, and be part of something truly special.

0:38Make sure to get your tickets right now and step into greatness with us at the Summit of Greatness 2024. Head over to lewishouse.com slash tickets and get your tickets today and I will see you there. Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

1:01So when someone sees the signs, signals, and synchronicities happening in their life, What do you think that's telling them? That they're on the right path, that they should be paying attention more, that they should be trusting their intuition more when they're seeing these three things? I feel like what it says, and somebody said this to me actually the last time I was in L.A., but it had to land really emotionally for me to believe it, and that's what I want for everyone, is it tells you that you are being guided, and it tells you that you're safe and protected. And one of the things I picked up from you a couple of years ago was that you said, sometimes, you know, if I'm feeling like in an emotional crisis, I just say to myself, I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe.

1:44And I can't tell you how many times I've used that in the last two years. Wow, that's beautiful. But that's kind of like self-soothing the inner child, right? Yes, yes. With this kind of interest and more esoteric things that I've had since I met you that time, I'd like to think that it's not, I'm not just safe because I tell myself I'm safe, but I'm safe because I believe in something greater. Yes. And I'm tapping into it and I'm allowing it to make me feel safe. Because however good you become psychologically at soothing yourself, you can still feel very alone. Unless you have a deeper spiritual connection to something.

2:20Yeah, exactly. Do you believe that we can be in beautiful, healthy, loving relationships and we can manifest everything we have on our vision or action boards if we have yet to heal the wounds of our childhood as a neuroscientist? No. Really? So if we have these visions and dreams and goals that we want to go after, if we want to have a beautiful relationship, but we are wounded still, the inner child is wounded inside of us as adults, what will happen to us? So this is really about inner child and shadow, right? So I think people understand that you've got an inner child that maybe didn't get over things that you experienced in your childhood.

3:02shadow is about the parts of yourself that you've rejected because as a young child you rely on your primary caregivers for survival yes and if there is something that they don't love about you you want to hide that for all the world so that they will still love you and like not let you die you don't want anyone to notice about you no that's shame so you hide it away in childhood and often find yourself in adulthood no longer even aware of what those things are because you've rejected them so deeply. But that's driving a lot of your unconscious behavior. So if you put together the inner child and the shadow, then what happens is you meet people on the same level of psychological wound as you.

3:47You also leave people where if you evolve out of that and they haven't been able to. Wow. So you think we attract people based on our psychological wounds? 100%. And as we start to heal and grow, if the other person's not healing and growing, we kind of pull away. Wow. With all of your expertise on the brain, is the process of manifesting love and falling in love different from men versus women? I think if it's love you're really looking for, then it's not different. Not lust. Yeah, the issue is what you're actually So you think men and women manifest love the same way, similar ways? Yeah, I think if you want that sense of partnership and friendship and intimacy and you want to be loyal and you want it to be for the long term, then it doesn't matter what gender you are.

4:38The disconnect is often, and this is a bit of a stereotype, but usually it's more that women want a loving, stable relationship and men perhaps don't want that as much. Want sex or whatever, yeah. Or don't, you know, just don't want it right now. Uh-huh. Go through periods where that's what they want and go through periods where that's not what they want, which I guess could be true of any gender as well. But overall, more likely women will want to, like, be in a monogamous relationship. Why is that based on kind of the brain science? It comes from evolution. So when we lived in the cave, women did need men to protect them from predators and to hunt for food.

5:15They generally didn't hunt as much, so they gathered more. but then it's hard to get protein from what you gather rather than what you hunt. And, you know, they use the fat and the skins and everything so it wasn't just food, it was shelter and fire and, you know, all of that kind of stuff. Although we don't necessarily need a man for those physical things now, it's a very strong survival wiring in the brain. In the cave, we lived nomadically So often the men would go and hunt and be away for a very long time. Or if they went far enough and they found a cave of the same tribe, they would just stay there and not go back.

5:56Why risk your life to travel back for six weeks? But over time, a lot of societies in the modern world have asked people to live in unit families. And so we have seen men's brains be rewired. Really? Yeah, relatively recently, like maybe in the last 10 years, research has showed that when you become a dad for the first time, oxytocin rewires your brain so that you're more into bonding and less into the testosterone competitive stuff.

6:30Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation. and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description that will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts. right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

7:24Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the daily motivation show.