SOG EP 1638 BONUS: Relationship Experts Debate the 5 Hidden Signs of Cheating! | Matthew Hussey & Sadia Khan

0:03Hey everyone, this is Lewis Howes and I am so excited to invite you to the Summit of Greatness 2024 for happening at the iconic Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California. This is more than just an event. It's a powerful experience designed to ignite your passion, boost your growth, and connect you with a community of other inspiring achievers. Join us Friday, September 13th, and Saturday, September 14th for two days packed with inspiration and transformation from some of the most incredible speakers on the planet. Don't miss out on this chance to elevate your life, unlock your potential, and be part of something truly special.

0:38Make sure to get your tickets right now and step into greatness with us at the Summit of Greatness 2024. Head over to lewishouse.com slash tickets and get your tickets today, and I will see you there. Hi, my name is Lewis Howes, and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

1:02Let's say there's a man who's been in a 5 to 15 year marriage. They've got a family, they've got kids, and they've tried to do their best as a husband and a leader and a father. But they are just craving some type of sexual adventure. And they, deep down, don't think that their wife can give them that. Or maybe they can't get out of their head what they've seen the last 15 years of their wife breastfeeding and being a motherly figure and not a sexual figure, whatever it is. Yeah, something's, the switch has turned off. Yeah, maybe the switch turned off because they're now like motherly as opposed to sexual being, whatever it might be.

1:35What can a man do to communicate what they want sexually without hurting the woman they're with? I think the first thing is to watch your habits. If you are constantly stimulating yourself with too much pornography and too much social media and stuff, that's not going to help your situation by looking at novel situations again and again. so watch what you consume the second conversation is you've just got to remember what means more to you does the thrill of sex mean more to you than the safety of a marriage and kids now if you recognize that marriage means more but it doesn't mean I don't want the thrill I still want that I still deserve that then what it moves on to is having conversations with your wife to understand how you can ignite that sex appeal in her perhaps there's something you're doing that's making you not feel like she, you are not tapping into that femininity in her.

2:23It's sometimes a dynamic. So ask her, is there something that I used to do or I can do that would make you feel more connected to me? And they say, oh, in the beginning, she was so wild, but maybe in the beginning, you were taking her out more, or maybe in the beginning, you were texting her a lot more, or maybe in the beginning, you weren't turning to pornography on nights when you were. So maybe there was behaviors in you in the beginning that ignited a part of her that that made her more. You stopped giving her that. So have those conversations. And sometimes some women are just plain difficult.

2:50And I understand those circumstances. But until you've tried what you did in the beginning, you can't completely complain that that's gone. From the men that you're working with that you hear conversations with, are you hearing that more men cheat or more women cheat? From my experience, it's more women. Yeah, from my experiences. And there are a couple of reasons for that is, women are naturally, in my experience, and being a woman myself, is we're a bit more aware of a man's propensity to cheat. So we're not particularly naive when it comes to when he's gone for too long and he hasn't answered too many calls and he hasn't been available.

3:23We're a bit more attuned to these signs. What's happening? You ask him, hey, where were you? And you weren't saying what was happening or vague. We've had friends that have been cheated on that tell us all about it and they tell us all the signs. Our moms might tell us all the signs and stuff. Whereas for men, that conversation is so sacred. They don't really have that with each other. So they go in with a little bit of naivety that women just don't cheat whatsoever. They just think, my wife would never. That's their common thing, that she would never. And the other thing is they're not attuned to the signs.

3:50They're not attuned to the signals. So when she is depriving him of affection or depriving him of attention or when she starts taking care of herself and going out a little bit more or making more of an effort to go to work, they just see that as normal feminine behavior. They just see that as, you know, girls getting dressed up. They don't necessarily see the signs that it's a change in dynamic. They don't pick up the signals as much. they become a little bit curious but they don't become accusatory the same way that and yeah were you saying why do women cheat more or saying who who who cheats more yeah based on your experience of right yeah stations you're having and what you're noticing what are you thinking about why women cheat more in my personal experience with the women that do cheat it's not that all women cheat but the women that do cheat it's very little to do with the woman itself it's more to do with the man she selects really yeah in my experience i can look at a couple and tell by the man if she's going to cheat where the men in her have a very strong dynamic where it's very clear that they know each other inside out and where they can be themselves completely and more so than anything I can tell she feels safe in his company it's unlikely she cheats but where I feel like she's kind of the boss or she feels like she doesn't respect his opinion and it's not necessarily she's just like he's kind of allowed himself to take that back seat where she can disrespect him openly where she feels like she can tell him anything and he just instantly believes it and follows her commands it sets him in a position where she doesn't have a fear of losing him and as a result of no fear of losing him there's an openness to try alternatives because she knows if worst case scenario he finds out he's still gonna stay thing that's missing from this conversation is values on the men's and the women's side is that it's kind of you know the idea there with women is that if they don't respect their man, they'll cheat, as opposed to they'll cheat if they lack the values.

5:34They'll prevent someone from cheating. But I would imagine their values determines what they select in the process. When you have those values that open you up to sex, you tend to select people who have a kind of agreeableness that allows for that. And I would say the same for men. Men who know they have a propensity to cheat are probably not going to select a very strong-minded woman who will say, absolutely not. I will walk away if this happens. they tend to select. I think their values combined affects their selection process.

6:08Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description that will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the school of greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple podcast and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple podcast right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

7:02Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the daily motivation show.