The #1 Trait of ALL Power Couples | Yung Pueblo EP 535

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:11Find a partner who increases your power instead of diminishing it. Complementing each other's qualities in a way that helps both of you shine brighter is an immense gift. You not only lend your strengths to each other, you also feed this spark that inspires evolution. What advice would you give yourself if you said, hey, you know what? There's three things I want you to think about before getting into a committed relationship. Here they are. I would have told myself to meditate sooner. I would have had the capacity to start then. And I started young. Like I started when I was 24. I mean, I met a bunch of people who started when they were 18 and 19.

0:48So I would have definitely done that. I think I would have given myself that same advice, you know, stop trying to win arguments. Listen instead. Practice selfless listening. When she is telling you her perspective, try your best to listen without projecting. Just immerse yourself in this story. Receive it as best as you can. And I think in that way, understanding would arise. To think of the two of us without that probably would have never worked. It would have fallen apart at some point because we kept trying and we had no medium with which to be able to engage with ourselves so that we can be loving towards each other.

1:26meditation taught us how to love each other. Because it taught you how to love yourselves. Exactly. Exactly. Interesting. You know, I just don't think we would have made it without it. You know, I love this image that I have in my mind where if you go into a relationship, you have to go into with open hands, right? Only with open hands can you give something. Only with open hands can you receive something. So I felt a lot of time my hands were closed, like I could give little and I could receive little. There were often times when, you know, I just was really bad at receiving love. And if I had known that image or understood that this is a fundamental part of being in a loving relationship, to have my hands open, ready to give, ready to receive, I think things could have been slightly different.

2:09I don't know if you've been on Tom Bilyeu's show, but I think I've heard him talk about one of his relationship tenets, which is the person who wins in an argument or a disagreement is the one who is the most understanding to the other's pain. If you're like listening and engaged the most, whenever this frustration is and said, how can I understand you deeper? Then you win. It's because then you move on. It's like you're, you're understanding yourself to listening and you've won in a selfless way of saying like, Hey, I care about you. Not, I need to be right. But the person who understands the deepest about the other person's pain.

2:44And that's just a different way of reframing it. I think it's hard when you're in suffering or in fight or flight mode or haven't healed. It's hard to understand someone else. Right. When you feel like I've been wronged or they don't understand me or how could they do this or they weren't thinking about me when they forgot this thing. Right. And we get more reactive, which goes back to inner peace. I think it's really important to understand that your partner is better at some things than you are and you will be better than your partner at some things. You have your particular strengths. So when you're making decisions together, you have to know what does this situation require, right?

3:19Who should be the lead here and who should step back? This practice of step up, step back, where like if you're stepping up a ton, take a step back sometimes so the other person can lead. I may be better at thinking about the long-term situation and planning out, oh, you know, we should live here for like three years or, you know, we should move now and, you know, find another place. She's a lot better at just like skills that can get us from one week to another, get us from this day to that day and can plan the micro situation a lot better than I can. And we compliment each other in this way where like, we're both like, okay, we know our strengths, but we both try.

3:54It doesn't mean that she never plans long-term things and I never plan short-term things, but we understand, especially if it's a big situation, it's like, hey, Sarah, like I need you to, you know, what do you think? Cause I don't, I don't even know what to do in this moment. So imagine if you could go 30 years in the future to your future self, knowing all the wisdom that you're going to know from what is happening over the next 30 years and knowing how much the world has changed over the last 30 years and how much more exponentially it'll probably change in the next 30 years. If you could tap into your future wisdom, your future self, what three pieces of advice would your future self give your current self today about what you need to be prepared for and overcome.

4:41Never stop meditating in no situation, right? Like you just keep meditating. Second, you have to listen to your intuition. When you need to make pivots, make pivots. When you feel like you need to write a book, then you write a book, not because your publisher wants you to or anything like that, right? It has to be a genuine, like there is something here that should be set and then make it happen. But mainly all that is arriving from intuition. And third, you have to take care of your health. Your health is so important because you know that you want to be there for your family. And you also know that you want to be able to meditate well for as long as possible.

5:16And I'm so inspired. You know, I'll go to these longer courses, like 30 day, 45 day courses. My wife and I will be some of the youngest people there. We're meditating with a bunch of people who are, you know, in their 70s and 60s. And like, I'm so inspired by them because, you know, you see them, you know, they're meditating on the ground. They're like fit. They look so young. Like you look at their faces. They look so young. You know, I'm like, I want to be like that. You know, they've been meditating for 30, 40, 50 years. And to me, it's like such a big source of inspiration. What three questions should we ask a potential partner before we get committed in a relationship that you think will give us enough information to see if this is going to be a conscious, healthy relationship or one that we shouldn't participate in?

6:01first one that came to mind is like, talk to me about your relationship with your emotions. As a broad question, like I would love to just have them paint me a picture. And then after they paint me a picture, I would say, tell me more, like, tell me more about that. You know, like just, just keep, you want to, you want to hear how it is because their relationship with their emotions will shine a clear light on their relationship with you. And it'll be peaceful or stressful, stressful, or they can't engage. They're not going to be able to have the difficult conversations you need to have. And it doesn't matter how much meditation you do.

6:33If someone else is constantly bringing a chaos, you still have to manage it. You still have to think about it, manage it. Even if you create harmony inside, someone's screaming all the day or they're in breakdown, it can be draining. I would also be curious if growing is important to you. You know, like what does like a healthy relationship look like to you? And I think those three things will kind of help you see enough and see if there's synergy there where you can actually build a home together because it's just not enough to have a connection. You need a foundation to help you build a home of love.

7:18Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description that will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

8:08Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

8:20Thank you.