The Biological Instinct That Beats Self-Doubt | Kelly McGonigal

0:02Zach, nice vacation spot, but without T-Mobile 5G home internet, it's scary here. Don't open it. Relax. I ordered T-Mobile 5G home internet with same-day delivery powered by DoorDash. Nothing to be afraid of. We're saved. Get T-Mobile 5G home internet delivered the same day. Powered by DoorDash. Just 35 bucks a month with auto pay and a voice line. Plus taxes and fees. Same-day delivery for most internet-eligible customers. See if it's an option during checkout. Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:42Let's say you want to change what you eat in a certain way that you believe will make you healthier or give you more energy or, you know, prevent the recurrence of cancer, let's say. And you got some data and you got some ideas and it's really hard. You don't have to change everything tomorrow. you make one choice today that is consistent with your overall vision. And it is amazing the upward spiral you can create when that's the standard you set for yourself, that you look for opportunities to make any choice that's consistent with your goal or your value. And then you start to experience the benefits of it, the actual payoff.

1:22You feel a sense of pride or gratitude to yourself. It changes how other people see you and they start creating situations and environments that support your goals. So that's like one thing that you can do. I mean, there's so, you know, there's so much behind this idea of habit design. I mean, you can make your environment support your goal. So you can stop thinking about it in terms of, I have to have control all the time. And like we were talking about planning ahead for the worst. Imagine you're going to be the most tired you've ever been. You've had a really hard day. You are... There's cookies in front of you nonstop.

1:55You feel like the weakest version of yourself. How are you going to support that person? And you take care of them in advance. You know you might not want to, but you know you're going to be that version of yourself at some point. What can you do for them? Invest in them and create an environment that makes it harder to fall off track or easier to do what supports you. And you said at one point that willpower is a biological mind-body response, not a virtue. Yeah. Can you explain what that means? Yeah. So willpower has a lot of different components, but I think the most underappreciated is that we have an instinct that slows us down that is in contrast to fight or flight.

2:40So a lot of people know the fight or flight instinct where like you panic and you are ready to defend yourself or escape a burning building. Right. So that's like an instinct we have. We have another instinct that if you know what your goals are, right, that it requires that. And your mind recognizes you are in a moment that is pulling you away from your goals and your commitments. You are tempted. You are distracted. You are self-doubting. and your mind recognizes that, it can actually kick in a biological instinct called pause and plan that actually it decelerates your heart rate. It increases your focus.

3:20It activates areas of your brain that help you remember your goals and your values in a way that's actually pretty different than fight or flight. Fight or flight often shuts down those systems of the brain and amplifies the sort of the immediate short-term survival gratification systems of the brain. So when you know that you have that instinct again it's part of why training your goals and your values really does work it sounds I think a lot of people think well okay but like I have no power over whatever my temptation is well part of the reason you feel like you don't could be because you're not triggering that pause and plan instinct that your mind is not clear enough yet that if I've made a commitment to being like a certain have a certain presence with my family and I'm tempted by my device going off right if that moment my mind needs to recognize this is a threat to my relationship my partner my child so you have to train that so that your body and brain will show up and help you constantly training our minds I'm a believer that self-doubt is the killer of dreams and it doesn't matter how talented or educated or skilled we are at something and if the world believes that we are the chosen one to accomplish something if we don't believe in ourselves it's not going to happen and I'm also a firm believer that it doesn't matter if the world doesn't think you can do anything if you are the one that believes you can then you can and my mission is to really help people eliminate self-doubt and learn to believe in themselves more.

4:57I'm curious, what are some of the things that you've learned as a psychologist on how we can eliminate doubt and build self-belief and confidence? That is truly not my mission. I think it's interesting. Like self-doubt can also be a gift. So, I don't know, I don't really want to have an intellectual argument about it. I think that in general, my orientation to life is it's really hard to eliminate a lot of the things that we don't like or that reflects sometimes the not so helpful sides of human nature. And so one thing I'm really interested in is, okay, what if we started from the assumption that I might never be able to convince you to have no self-doubt?

5:42Maybe you can do it, but let's say that they didn't find you yet. So I'm going to be here helping someone, hasn't worked yet. How in a moment of self-doubt can you draw on something bigger than yourself so that you feel willing to step outside your comfort zone, even if there's part of you that doesn't believe you can do it. I mean, I felt that at every stage of anything in my life that has mattered. There's some part of me that wonders, am I adequate to this moment? And for me, rather than try to convince myself that I am, what works for me is to think about the best possible outcome if this turns out okay.

6:23like who I could help, what I could contribute, how I might grow, what joy or meaning I might experience and to say, I'm willing to take a risk.

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7:19Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving The Daily Motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

8:09Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

8:39Kelly McGonigal:in automatically. Ready to make your next investing decision? Head to fidelity.com slash trading. Investing involves risk, including risk of loss. Fidelity Brokerage Services, LLC, member NYSE SIPC.