The Invisible Chokehold Killing Your Ambition | Dean Graziosi

0:00Hey mom, now that I have an after-school job, I think I want to buy a drum kit. Okay, rock star. Let's look at your account. When kids start making money, Chase has easy-to-use tools and expert bankers to help them learn how to manage it. And next month, I'll buy the bass drum and the cymbals. Oh, and maybe some noise-canceling headphones for you. Aw, you've thought of everything. Help kids save, budget, and build financial independence all with Chase. That's good for kids and good for parents. Visit your local Chase branch and get started. Accounts subject to approval. JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A.

0:29Member FDIC. Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:41Once people start to make a little bit of money, why do you think they all of a sudden stop pushing as hard when they feel more financially safe? Really great question. You know, if these sound like just worn out analogies, I'm sorry, but I still live these all the time in my head. I think we have to figure out our own operating system. There's certain things that drive you that may not drive me and vice versa, right? Some people are motivated by the stick. Some people are motivated by the carrot. Some have both. What drives you right now? I probably would love to say that it's just carrot, but the stick drives me more than anything.

1:25What does that mean for people? Like the stick is like the whip or the carrot, like dangling the carrot. So for example, so I'm going to go back and remind me, I want to tell you something about my dad.

1:38But let's talk about that compelling future for a second, right? What drives you? It is purpose. It is the thing that you are so great at. It is the reason why you want to get there. So let's picture you have a toolbox and you start getting momentum. them your throat's not being choked right i use that analogy because i realized as a child my mom and dad's entire conversations were around money it's like can we can't make it to the kids baseball games because we got to put overtime we can't go on vacation because of that we can't do this thing i was in private school for two years until one day the teachers my grandmother paid it for two years and then she said now it's your turn to my parents to pay for it they didn't in the middle of school they pulled us out and told us your parents didn't pay we got a victim Right.

2:23Like, so I watched my parents without them realizing that everything revolved around money. What I always said was it's like they didn't realize they were being choked. They didn't realize how heavy it felt. And I use the analogy like we don't think about the oxygen in this room. But if somebody choked you, that's all you would think about. When money is choked, you don't realize every decision you make is through that lens. And now people are saying like, duh, but how do I get it? But I think once you recognize that, then maybe that starts driving you to create a future that can pull you out of it.

2:54And nothing happens overnight. It takes time. It takes time to get in debt. It takes time to get out of debt. It takes time to get wealthy. But let me just share this. Let's say this compelling future, right? I use a silly, like I was thinking of a toolbox. That's why it took me a minute. Is I'll reach in that toolbox for whatever I need to keep me moving forward. So it's not just a compelling future. It's not just if things go wrong, whatever it takes to move you. Sometimes I'm motivated by what could be. Other times I'm motivated not to go backwards. So for example, in this toolbox, sometimes I might look at getting to the end of my life.

3:30And I don't know who I heard this from, but get to the end of my life and have my creator play me a video of the man I could have been. And I feel it though. I don't just say it. It's not just something I'm doing. Like I literally feel of saying, yeah, you were inspiration to your kids. They move forward. They saw their dad struggled, failed, got back up and kept going. And maybe I'm like, no. And I played small. Like I'll visualize that. And I visualize things like if I see who I could have been, the lives I could have impacted, the things I could have done, the relationships I could have built and I missed it.

4:00I always think to myself, the only wish I would have is to go back. And then I say, Dean, wish granted. You're here. Let's, let's freaking go. That's cool. Right. But there's other times that that might not even be enough. Now, I got to tell you, my dad was married five times. And it's okay for me to share this. He was physically abused and sexually abused as a child. Old school Italian guy, never got help, but he fought with everybody his whole life. He just had built-in anger, right? So 10 brothers and sisters, he didn't talk to any of them. He didn't talk to his mother or father when they passed away.

4:34My sister hasn't talked to him in 22 years. His only other sibling. His ex-wives don't talk to him. He never realized. I have empathy for this man. and now he's 90 and he's my dearest friend. I see him all the time, but he never fixed that. But the fact of the matter is, I watch my dad work hard, struggle, try to be a good dad, try to figure it out. This is gonna sound horrible, but you know what's in my toolbox? When I really won't move, I'll say, if you don't do this, you're gonna end up like your father. Oh, man. Some people might say that's abuse. I don't keep it. It's like nitrous oxide in the car.

5:05I hit the button, I get going fast, and I go, I'm parking that. I can go back to a compelling future. but it's not easy you need this toolbox full of things that drive you so you i don't want to be complacent i don't want to get to my life end of life and feel like i coasted i personally and i think all of it what keeps us alive is we feel alive when we grow it doesn't mean millions and billions of dollars just a better version today than i was yesterday when you do that you feel alive nobody like i don't care what anybody says no one wants to coast right no one wants us hey you're making 80 grand a year i'll give you 100 grand a year for the rest of your life and all you have to do is sit and watch this field every day and you make 100 grand a year.

5:44I think so many people would jump on that and then a year and be like, I'm out. I'd rather make 40 grand on my own terms. Right, right. Right.

6:00I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy. And if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life, and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is going to help you transform your relationship with money this moment moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and stay tuned to this episode of The Daily Motivation Show.

6:42Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving The Daily Motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple podcast right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

7:43Hey, Mom, now that I have an after-school job, I think I want to buy a drum kit. Okay, Rockstar, let's look at your account. When kids start making money, Chase has easy-to-use tools and expert bankers to help them learn how to manage it. And next month, I'll buy the bass drum and the cymbals. Oh, and maybe some noise-canceling headphones for you. Aw, you've thought of everything. Help kids save, budget, and build financial independence all with Chase. That's good for kids and good for parents. Visit your local Chase branch and get started. Account subject to approval. JPMorgan Chase Bank, NA member FDIC.