The Key To Lifelong Happiness | Jordan Peterson EP 256

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation show.

0:10I firmly believe that taking charge of your mindset allows you to be in the driver's seat of your life and unlock your potential. And that's why I'm thrilled to share that my new book is out right now. It's called The Greatness Mindset. In it, you'll learn how to build a plan for greatness through powerful exercises and toolkits designed to propel your life forward. This is the book that I wish I had 20 years ago. It's everything I've learned in the last decade with the research and the science to help you unlock your mind. Make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash 2023mindset to pick up your copy of my book, The Greatest Mindset, today.

0:54When do you feel the most loved, Jordan? It's when I'm with my family, when I'm with my kids, when I'm with my family, friends too. And that's even been more the case over the last couple of years because my family and friends have been so unbelievably loyal and helpful to me and my family as we've had our troubles. Terrible, terrible troubles over the last couple of years. They've been so unbelievably reliable and helpful. Amazing. certainly people have gone out of my way for me in a way that I I don't believe I would have done for them really well look I saw my father-in-law he's a like he's a really extroverted guy disagreeable guy too masculine guy extroverted assertive everybody in the little town I grew up in knew who he was he was a performer you know the life of the party um and a good businessman but a real character but then his wife got prefrontal dementia when she was quite young 55 and man he took care of her for 15 years wow it's unbelievable this guy who was who lived his own life who who was a very extroverted social person not someone who you would have regarded as soft and caring and i don't mean that in a negative way it's just that that wasn't him He cared for her in a way that was absolutely astonishing.

2:22And I saw that also in my friends and my family, in the care that they've offered to Tammy and I over the last two years. Mind-boggling, mind-boggling. But I would say the place I like to be the most is in a family situation when there's no elephants under the rug and everyone's playing. If you ever have that, you should consider yourself fortunate beyond belief because it's unlikely and you can lose it at any moment. I was in the hospital more or less for a year and then another year with Tammy and I thought I'd lost all of that. Never get it back. Very dreadful. And so now when it happens, I mean, I've always been grateful for it when it happens.

3:14strive for that. The animal experimentalists have demonstrated that the ones who study play, this is Yacht-Panksepp in particular, but there's a variety of them who study play, brilliant scientists. Play is a circuit. It's a mammalian circuit. It's a specialized circuit. And it's very important developmentally for that circuit to be given free reign to play. it's how children play out roles in the world that they're eventually going to adopt they play mother they play father they play they play all these different roles and that's how they learn to to be those things the role of the father is to put up security so that play can occur so the security is there that's the walls they fortify the walls man the walls guard the walls but within the walls then that's where play can it can take place and play is very easily disrupted hunger thirst any emotional state any motivational state can supersede it even though it's very very important so you have to have the walled garden in place remove the fears yeah to make it safe so that experimentation can take place within that's paradise right that's right it's a walled garden.

4:35That's what paradise means, is a walled garden where structure and nature, the walls in the garden are harmoniously interacting and where eternal play can occur. That's paradise. And so you get a glimpse of that when everyone's together, often at the table. Not fighting. And also not fighting. Right, right. Right? It's when everyone's at each other's throats, but no one's saying anything. Well, we're not going to talk about, we're not going to bring that up. We're not going to discuss that. Because that's not paradise either. No, that's pretense. And see, that negotiation is the eradication of the need for that pretense.

5:16It's like, you've got a problem with me, let's sort it out. Because we're going to carry it with us. You want to do that? So people wonder why I engage in conflict. I hate conflict. And I find it very stressful. but conflict delayed is conflict multiplied. It's worse to have lingering conflict for months, years, decades than the pain of direct conflict that can hopefully resolve and move on. Yes, absolutely. Well, as the conflict is delayed, the reasons multiply and the persons who are involved because they're avoiding demean themselves and get weaker and less confident. And so it's a vicious circle.

6:02It's better to notice. If you're angry with the people who are close to you, if you're resentful, you're either being oppressed and not standing up for yourself or you're whiny and should grow up. And both of those things are really useful to realize. And all you have to do is notice that you're resentful and want to do something about it. Are people picking on me or I am immature? if people are picking on me, do I have something to say or something to do? I should do it. It's a gateway to improvement, resentment. Or you can let it foster it and let it devour you and take you places that no one with a clear mind would ever want to go.

6:44Hell. That's resentment. Man, that's the pathway to hell.

7:04Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving The Daily Motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple podcast right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

7:54Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.