The Key To Lifelong Happiness | Jordan Peterson

0:00We just confirmed that Andrew Huberman is coming to the Summit of Greatness along with some other amazing speakers. We've got Dr. Tara Sward, Brendi Burchard, Gabby Bernstein, Amy Purdy, and some huge entertainers and performers. Make sure to get your tickets right now. Summon of Greatness is happening September 12th and 13th here in Hollywood. I can't wait to see you there. Hi, my name is Lewis Howes, and welcome to The Daily Motivation Show.

0:37When do you feel the most loved, Jordan? It's when I'm with my family, when I'm with my kids, when I'm with my family, friends too. And that's even been more the case over the last couple of years because my family and friends have been so unbelievably loyal and helpful to me and my family as we've had our troubles. Terrible, terrible troubles over the last couple of years. they've been so unbelievably reliable and helpful amazing certainly people have gone out of my way for me in a way that i i don't believe i would have done for them really well look i saw my father-in-law he's a like he's a really extroverted guy disagreeable guy too masculine guy extroverted assertive everybody in the little town i grew up in knew who he was He was a performer, you know, the life of the party and a good businessman, but a real character.

1:37But then his wife got prefrontal dementia when she was quite young, 55. And man, he took care of her for 15 years. Wow. It was unbelievable. This guy who lived his own life, who was a very extroverted social person, not someone who you would have regarded as soft and caring. And I don't mean that in a negative way. It's just that that wasn't him. He cared for her in a way that was absolutely astonishing. And I saw that also in my friends and my family in the care that they've offered to Tammy and I over the last two years. Mind boggling, mind boggling. but I would say the place I like to be the most is in a family situation when there's no elephants under the rug and everyone's playing.

2:30If you ever have that, you should consider yourself fortunate beyond belief because it's unlikely and you can lose it at any moment. I was in the hospital more or less for a year and then another year with Tammy and I thought I'd lost all of that. Never get it back. Very dreadful. And so now when it happens, I mean, I've always been grateful for it when it happens. Strive for that. The animal experimentalists have demonstrated that the ones who study play, this is Yak Panksepp in particular, but there's a variety of them who study play. Brilliant scientists. Play is a circuit. It's a mammalian circuit.

3:15It's a specialized circuit. And it's very important developmentally for that circuit to be given free reign to play. It's how children play out roles in the world that they're eventually going to adopt. They play mother, they play father, they play all these different roles and that's how they learn to be those things. the role of the father is to put up security so that play can occur so the security is there that's the walls they fortify the walls man the walls guard the walls but within the walls then that's where play can it can take place and play is very easily disrupted hunger thirst any emotional state, any motivational state can supersede it, even though it's very, very important.

4:05So you have to have the walled garden in place. Remove the fears. To make it safe so that experimentation can take place within. That's paradise, right? That's right. It's a walled garden. That's what paradise means is a walled garden where structure and nature, the walls in the garden are harmoniously interacting and where eternal play can occur that's paradise and so you get a glimpse of that when everyone's together often at the table not fighting and and and and also not not fighting right right it's when everyone's at each other's throats but no one's saying anything well we're not going to talk about we're not going to bring that up we're not going to discuss that because that's not paradise either yeah no that's pretense and to see that that negotiation is the eradication of the need for that pretense.

4:59It's like, you've got a problem with me, let's sort it out because we're going to carry it with us. You want to do that? So people wonder why I engage in conflict. I hate conflict and I find it very stressful. But conflict delayed is conflict multiplied. It's worse to have lingering conflict for months, years, decades than the pain of direct conflict that can hopefully resolve and move on. Yes, absolutely. Well, as the conflict is delayed, it's the reasons multiply. And the persons who are involved because they're avoiding demean themselves and get weaker and less confident. And so it's a vicious circle.

5:46It's better to notice if you're angry with the people who are close to you. if you're resentful you're either being oppressed and not standing up for yourself or you're whiny and should grow up and both of those things are really useful to realize and all you have to do is notice that you're resentful and want to do something about it are people picking on me or i am immature or if people are picking on me do i have something to say or something to do I should do it. It's a gateway to improvement, resentment, or you can let it foster it and let it devour you and take you places that no one with a clear mind would ever want to go.

6:28Hell, that's resentment, man. That's the pathway to hell.

6:47Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving The Daily Motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

7:37Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.