The Million-Dollar Secret to Building Game-Changing Relationships | Patrick Bet-David EP 712

0:00My name is Lewis Howes. Thanks so much for being here. I want to remind you about the Summit of Greatness, our annual conference happening this September in Los Angeles. With David Goggins, Dr. Joe Dispenza, and many more incredible speakers and performers, there will be so many live attendees there that you can meet with, you can network with, and you can help transform your life. I can't wait to see you at the Summit of Greatness here in Los Angeles.

0:28Hi, my name is Lewis Howes, and welcome to The Daily Motivation Show.

0:39I'm curious, what are the three things that poor people do that rich people don't do? Or you can reverse it. What are the three things rich people do that poor people don't do? Well, I can tell you they have the intuition of how they judge people. Because everything is about the whole intuition part, right? You're sitting there, who you choose to befriend, who you choose to have relationships with, and how you water those relationships. Because if you want to have a relationship together and it's just take, take, take, nothing's going to happen. I remember I'm a 24-year-old kid. I don't know nothing about business.

1:16I've done some stuff in sales, but I really don't know nothing about business. I'm a 22-year-old kid. I go and I take this guy. I go to a job interview at the advertising group. Shout out to Jamie Hepp. And I watch this guy. He interviews me. I'm at that time working on Morgan Stanley Dean Witter, but I'm trying to see what else I want to do. So I got started day before 9-11, but I'm still interviewing. I sit with him in the interview, and the way he interviewed me, I sat there and I said, I will never work for this company because it's just not what I want to do because they were selling Xerox machines and business-to-business.

1:50I said, but I want to have a relationship with you. I said, do you mind if I get your business card? He said, yeah, sure. I said, okay, great. So he gives me his business card. Year and a half later, I get a job. I'm doing good at this point. and I'm making some income, 23 years old, I call him up. And I said, Jamie, you don't remember me, but I want to take you out to lunch, and I want to pick your brain if you don't mind. I told you a year and a half ago that I wanted to do this with you, and you said yes. He says, great, let's do it. So we go to Macaroni Grill, somewhere in Culver City, right around here, like Victory Overland, somewhere around that area.

2:25So we go there. He brings this drop-dead gorgeous girl that works for him. I think her name is Natalia or Natasha or something with Ann, right? And she's beautiful, short skirt, perfect legs, flawless, beautiful face. She's sitting right there. And I know what he's trying to do. He's trying to woo me to go be one of his sales guys. And I said, look, with all due respect, you're beautiful, but I have no interest in you. My interest is in you. Is it fair if we just talk business for an hour? He says, yes. So I went. Okay. Now at this point, he's making a million. I'm making 50 grand here. I'm a nobody.

2:56Okay. We have lunch again. I'm taking notes, taking notes, taking notes. I offer to pay. He doesn't let me pay. He pays. He says, I got it. No problem. When I leave, I send him a book. We had this meeting that we did every three to six months together at this restaurant, Argentinian restaurant called Bamboo, which they had this beautiful soup. Every time we would have dinner with him or we'd go to lunch, I would always send him a book. Ten years later, he says, every time I meet with Patrick, a book is on its way. Okay. So I valued the relationship. I asked him, what do you need from me? How can I bring things to you?

3:31Years later, he gives me one referral. That one referral he gave me helped me open up Florida. If he doesn't give me that referral, that Florida office wouldn't have been opened up, right? One contact. Opens up a whole state, okay? So another relationship I can tell you about is I was going to churches, and I said, let me see what's going to happen with these churches. And I'm going to churches, and I'm going to these different places. I'm studying Scientology. I'm studying LDS. I'm studying Jehovah, Judaism. I'm studying everything. At this point in the game, I was obsessed with religion. So all I want to do is study, study, study everything about religion, right?

4:04And I'm 24, 25. I eventually find this church called Shepherded Hills, which is ran by a guy named Dudley Rutherford. And I go to this place, and I'm an atheist. So it's not like I'm going to that. I'm just trying to see what's going on over here. I'm just trying to learn. I'm not trying to do it. I go to this place, and I'm like, okay, I like this guy's style. And typically, you go to church. If you do this, you don't know hell. And I'm like, dude, I don't need to know I'm going to hell. I know I'm going to hell. I just want to have a shot in heaven. You know what I'm saying? So this guy's energy was you have a shot at heaven, right?

4:34I'm like, okay, cool. This is my trial. I'll be a little better, right? I know the screw-ups. Let me see. Maybe I've got a shot over here. So I go there, and I'm sitting in the back. I watch him once, twice, three times, four times. I'm like, wow, I like this guy. So then I sent him an email, a little bit of an arrogant email, but I'll tell you what the email was. I sent him an email, and I said, listen, my name is Patrick. You don't know who I am, but I'm going to be somebody in the world. And I know you are somebody in the world, but I promise you, if you give me your time, I will always bring value to you.

5:04It will not be a waste of your time. Okay? I'm not doing anything at that time at 25. I've got a small little office operation. Nothing crazy. We go have lunch together at Black Angus. Black Angus off Canoga or Topanga. We go to Black Angus. We sit down. We talk. After the meeting is over with, I say, what can I do for you? Nothing there. We go out again. What can I do for you? Nothing there. What can I do for you? Nothing there. Eventually, something happened with my son at Moorpark Basketball. And I made a phone call to the coach. And I spoke to the guy. Anonymously. Because I didn't like the way this whole situation was handled.

5:37He probably doesn't even know the story. I know the people may know. But he may not even know the story. So I make the phone call. We get closer. He marries my wife. We change our wedding to Friday. It was set up on Saturday to Friday so he can wet us. Anyways, in 2008, 2009, 2008, he introduces me to Tom Ellsworth. You know how I talked about Tom earlier? He introduced me to Tom, okay? And Tom comes, okay? In 2009, he introduced me to Matt Cappala. Matt Cappala and Sheena, I got introduced to 09. They just got promoted this last week at West Palm Beach to the Chief Distribution Officer, PHP, right?

6:15He is now the CDO, okay? We've paid him in the first six months of the year over a million dollars. they're doing very good at what they do in the business here. But if I don't have that contact and I water him, what his needs are, not what I can take. If I give the needs, I don't have those contacts. So I think too many times when, you know, you build a relationship with somebody, it's immediately, what can I do? You know, what can I get from you? Yeah, and I remember how you were the first time we met. You know, when we were done, you and I went to Earth Cafe with Jen. And I think we even went and looked at some furniture, and there was like a Google shop that we went there.

6:50I don't know if you remember that. Yeah, we walked around. Right across from Earth Cafe. And you said, Pat, how can I help you? What do you need from me? You know, what can I do for you? It was on the corner. Exactly. Exactly. So we walked around. Babe, I really like this Louis guy. I don't like this approach, how he is. That's the dynamic that you don't see behind closed doors. People may see School of Greatness. People may see the books. But behind closed doors, the context is about what can I do for you. So you ask three things. I'd say the biggest one is figure out ways to strengthen relationships and take them deeper because you never know.

7:21Just like everybody thinks you're, you know, one sale away or one opportunity away, you're one contact away from your life changing. If you start valuing your contact like a book of business, everything changes.

7:36Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation. And I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

8:26Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.