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Podcast Episode Summary: The Daily Motivation - Episode 438
Podcast Overview Podcast Title: The Daily Motivation Host: Lewis Howes Guest: Pastor Michael Todd Episode Title: The REASON Your Relationships Always FAIL Episode Description: Pastor Michael Todd explores the dynamics that lead to relationship challenges, emphasizing self-awareness, effective communication, and personal growth for fostering healthier connections.
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Key Themes and Concepts
- Self-Awareness and Imperfection
- Lewis Howes reflects on personal experiences, acknowledging that both he and his wife, as flawed individuals, must navigate their imperfections.
- Emphasizes that life is about progression, not perfection.
- Key Takeaway: It's important to recognize personal growth over the pursuit of perfection.
- The Nature of Trust in Relationships
- Trust is a critical component of any relationship and is built slowly but lost quickly.
- Analogy: Building trust is like filling a bucket, while losing trust is like dumping it out all at once.
- Once lost, trust must be rebuilt drop by drop.
- Key Insight: The effort required to restore trust is significant and often overlooked.
- The Value of Trust
- Trust is portrayed as more valuable than money or connection.
- Reference to the book "The Speed of Trust":
- Where trust exists, tasks require less energy, money, and yield better results.
- In contexts with low trust, relationships require more effort with minimal outcomes.
- Lessons Learned Over Time
- Lewis shares reflections on the evolution of trust within his own marriage over the last decade.
- Recognizes that maintaining trust is a continual process requiring discipline and commitment.
- Highlights the joy and satisfaction of having someone in your life who fully trusts you, contrasting it with the challenges of less trusted relationships.
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Key Takeaways
- Progression Over Perfection: Focus on how far you've come instead of striving for an unattainable standard of perfection.
- Trust Dynamics: Understand the fragility of trust; it requires ongoing effort to maintain and rebuild once lost.
- Value of Relationships: Deep, trusting relationships provide unmatched satisfaction compared to superficial connections.
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Conclusion Pastor Michael Todd's insights encourage listeners to reflect on their relationships, highlighting the importance of self-awareness and the proactive rebuilding of trust. The discussion serves as a reminder that while relationships can be challenging, they can also be deeply rewarding when nurtured with care and commitment.
Call to Action For listeners seeking further inspiration, Lewis Howes encourages subscribing to the Greatness newsletter and the Greatness Plus channel for exclusive content.
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By understanding and implementing these principles, listeners can work towards healthier and more fulfilling relationships in their lives.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.
0:16Have you had to heal in the last 10 years your relationship from stuff that happens every year? Or is it only stuff from 10 years ago that you guys have to work on? Bro, you know the answer to this question, man. I'm a flawed man. My wife is a flawed woman. We serve an amazing God. We were people of faith, but he knew we were going to mess up. And there was there was there was room in the plan for imperfection. Like that's what I always tell people, because I'm a pastor and people know I'm a person of faith and they think I'm just going to throw the Bible at them all the time. And what I tell them, I was like, no, no, no.
0:53Just first look at my life. I've experienced amazing grace. And now I have to extend amazing grace and I have to receive amazing grace because I'm still going to mess up. This is a daily walk. But that's why I tell everybody the beautiful thing about journey. If you can get this stuck in your brain and in your heart, really, is that this life is about progression, not perfection. I know culture sells us perfection. I know your parents may have wanted perfection from you. I know you've probably required perfection of yourself, but that is the wrong metric. This is about progression. How much did you move forward from yesterday to today?
1:30Or how much did you move past? I know you wanted to cuss him out last week, but you only said one cuss word this week. You know what I'm saying? Or last year it was about being successful. You didn't take any breaks. But this year you actually took a few days and had soul care and self-care and spiritual enlightenment and getting back in your place of faith. Like, how did you progress? And I think for me in all of my relationships, especially the one with my wife, the one that I'm in covenant with, I have to know that I'm gonna need grace because I'm still figuring it out, right? Like there's nobody anybody on earth that says they're a relationship expert are liars Nobody knows everything about all relationships We're just trying to share from our journey and truth that we've experienced and I know for me that in the journey that I'm in Right now I make a lot less mistakes than I made ten years ago, right?
2:23Because I've progressed but am I gonna make more mistakes the next ten minutes probably You know what I'm saying? And so it is daily. And yeah, there's tons of healing that has to happen from every lie, from every deception, from every wrong word that was spoken. I tell people this because a relationship is all about trust. And this is the thing that people don't really factor in. You can spend decades, years, months building trust. But this is the truth. Trust is lost in buckets, but gained back in drops. so you could have an entire five gallon bucket of trust built up yeah but one thing that you never said you would do you do and the whole bucket goes out gone and now you have to come back in every day drop by drop drop by drop you don't get a a fountain of trust built back up and that's where most relationships fail is because they lost the trust and they were not diligent enough to build it back up.
3:23Because it takes a lot of hard work. But the problem is you have history with that person and a lot of times they would rather start over with somebody else to do the same exact thing. And so I'm gonna be the one to be consistent enough or disciplined enough to put those drops back in. What's been the biggest lesson for you in the last 10 years of putting drops back in? What's the lesson you've learned as a human being through that discipline, through that daily drop? Yeah. After breaking trust back in the past. Yeah, yeah, yeah. trust is way more valuable than money. Trust is way more valuable than connection.
3:57There's a book that I encourage everybody to read. It's called The Speed of Trust. Basically, the premise is that where there's trust, everything takes less energy. It takes less money and it has better results. But where there is no trust, it takes more energy. It takes more money and there are minimal results. And you can apply this to business relationships. You can apply it to your family. And I think our culture is one that doesn't trust. We, you prove to me, I've learned that trust is probably a higher commodity than anything else. My greatest relationship, me and my wife, Natalie don't have to be doing anything.
4:36But when I'm in a bed in a hotel with a woman that I fully trust, it's more satisfying than any platform I've ever been on. It's more euphoric. It's more when I can say something and somebody believes me and I don't have to prove it to them, but they know what I'm saying is real. That's amazing feeling. Oh, what are you talking about? Name the places you get that name, the places you got to make presentations to make people you pay, believe you because they're still not full trust there. But when you put in so much trust that that person, your yes is a yes and your no is a no. And they fully trust what you say.
5:17And to know when I speak, she trusts it. It was well worth everything that I had to do.
5:36Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. that will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.
6:31Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.
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Pastor Michael Todd explores the reasons behind recurring relationship challenges. He delves into the dynamics that often lead to the failure of relationships and offers insights on fostering healthy connections. Pastor Todd emphasizes the significance of self-awareness, effective communication, and personal growth in building successful relationships. His discussion provides a thought-provoking perspective on the common pitfalls that individuals may face in their relationships and offers guidance on creating stronger, more fulfilling connections with others.
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