The SCIENCE Behind Building SELF-CONFIDENCE! | Scott Barry Kaufman EP 300

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:10Calling all conscious achievers who are seeking more community and connection, I've got an invitation for you. Join me at this year's Summit of Greatness this September 7th through 9th in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio, to unleash your true greatness. This is the one time a year that I gather the greatness community together in person for a powerful, transformative weekend. People come from all over the world and you can expect to hear from inspiring speakers like Inky Johnson, Jospree Singh, Vanessa Van Edwards, Jen Sincero, and many more. You'll also be able to dance your heart out to live music, get your body moving with group workouts, and connect with others at our evening socials.

0:53So if you're ready to learn, heal, and grow alongside other incredible individuals in the greatness community, then you can learn more at lewishouse.com slash summit 2023. Make sure to grab your ticket, invite your friends, and I'll see you there.

1:12If you can share what is Maslow's hierarchy of needs for people that don't understand it fully, What does that process and framework look like? And then what is your Kauffman sail belt in order for us to learn what that is too? So a lot of people might not have heard of like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, but surely they've seen the meme on the internet. It's a pyramid, you know, with various levels of needs that one needs to fulfill in order to be able to focus your attention on self-actualization, which is becoming all that you're uniquely capable of becoming. so the needs for connection the needs for self-esteem um the need for safety all these things that um that that clearly if you're if you're preoccupied if your mind's preoccupied you're hungry right like you're not focused on self-actualization you know so it's contextual as well throughout the course of our day you know if you feel very lonely um your uh your mind is preoccupied with uh with the deprivation of your loneliness you know uh if you don't feel like you're getting any any respect you know your whole consciousness is directed towards respect me and you're kind of in part onto the world you know you you want you want the world to kind of bend to your will in a way where's respect on that on that chain in maslow's original it was the highest up before self-actualization so we want we need we can't eat the only thing we're thinking about is food yes if we're sick the only thing we're thinking about is getting healthy if we have no where to sleep the only thing we're thinking about is shelter yeah and then once we have that foundation it's the next level of loneliness then loneliness social connection and then esteem Then esteem, which is respect.

2:42Respecting yourself and then getting respect from others. Yeah, so he had both of those forms of esteem he talked about. Okay, and the next one is? Belonging and connection, the need to belong, the need to make connections with others, and then esteem was higher in his original model. Then you self-actualize. And what does self-actualization mean? He didn't like the term self-actualization. I found in an unpublished essay, I found in a footnote, He said, I hate that damn word self-actualization. Really? He never said the words. Towards the end of his life, he started to think of it more. He preferred the term fully human.

3:19Oh, I like that. Yeah, yeah. And that's how he started talking about it later in his life. What does fully human mean in your mind? Sure. I'll tell you sort of like in his earliest years, what he meant by self-actualization first, he thought of self-actualization as becoming your unique creative potential. You know, like what is the thing within you that what's the song within you, right? sort of thing. That's definitely how he viewed it in his early life. But becoming fully human, as he started to think about this concept more broadly, was how can you kind of bring your whole self to the table?

3:49You can become self-actualized and not be very transcendent, not be very, you know, not give back to others, not kind of get outside yourself. And towards the end of his life, he started to distinguish between self-actualizing non-transcenders and self-actualizing Transcenders, two different classes of self-actualizers. The self-actualizing non-transcenders, the person who goes to work, you know, like they clock in, they do their job, maybe their job isn't something that necessarily contributes much to society, but you know they're good, they go home. It's not fulfilling to them personally. It might be, it might even be a little bit fulfilling, but it's not something that's really getting outside of themselves, you know, and doesn't be in line with what Mazzo called the B values.

4:35The B values. The B values, the values of being itself. So these are values that you don't need to do them for any other reason. Truth, justice, beauty, meaningfulness. He has a long list of the B values. He called the B values. Perfection, excellence. Excellence is one of his B values. You strive for excellence for excellence's sake. You strive for beauty for beauty to take. You strive for truth for truth. Not to get likes, not to get followers, not for accomplishments. means just to be in that state. To be. You know, you want more meaning in your life, not so that you get famous. You want meaning.

5:09Right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So self-actualization and then self-actualization plus? Transcendence. Transcendence. And what's transcendence mean? I have a complicated definition because I just want to distinguish between healthy transcendence and unhealthy transcendence. Okay. What are those? So you see a lot of these gurus who preach transcendence and then they kind of molest everyone you know in their parish it's built on a very faulty foundation as maslow put it you know he called it he called it pseudo growth growth built on a faulty foundation and i call it pseudo transcendence yeah it's transcendence built on really you're trying to get your esteem needs self-esteem needs met what is healthy healthy transcendence is an emergent phenomenon resulting from the harmonious integration of one's whole self in the service of cultivating the good society.

5:57For me, that's kind of like my definition of greatness. I always tell people that. Isn't that interesting? The way that I view greatness is it's discovering your unique talents and gifts and pursuing your dreams using those gifts and making an impact on the most people you can in the pursuit of those dreams. Yeah, I love that. And the key thing I try to point out there is also that it's important to have integration there of all the various sides of yourself.

6:40Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

7:30Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.