The SECRETS To Being A Better Partner | Pastor Michael Todd EP 505

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:13What are the main principles that every relationship should be founded upon? Bro, I wrote a whole book about it. I'm going to give you three of them. Give me three. Let me give you three of them. The first thing has to be transparency. Yeah. Depending on the layer of relationship you're in right now, if you just meet somebody today and you don't even know if you want to be with them, I don't think it's wise that you tell them everything. But I do believe that there's a difference between transparency and honesty. And many people have adopted the thought process and the philosophy of being honest, but not transparent.

0:43Honesty is is when you ask me, I'll tell you the truth. But until then, but until then, I'm hiding something. Yes. And a lot of times, most of us don't get asked the questions that we need to answer. Those questions are scary. Oh, my gosh. They're scary to ask. And you don't want to know the answers. And you don't want to know a lot of times. And then it automatically if the person is not emotionally secure enough, then you're like, what, you don't trust me. Like there's so many different things that are there. And that's why I always ascribe to the philosophy of being transparent. You don't have to ask me.

1:14I'm going to offer it up. I'm going to tell you, hey, this when you when you talk to that guy at the restaurant, that made me feel some type of way. And it made me really start thinking about the insecurities of my last relationship and why we broke up And I'm not asking you to solve it at this moment, but I'm letting you know how that made me feel and I'm just gonna process with that There's no question that your mate could have asked to get that Response that genuinely because then they'll say something like this. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine Like and the truth is no you're not but I don't emotionally know how to let you know that that honestly It wasn't really what you did.

1:56It's what I've been through That triggered something in me and now I'm insecure about what I know I have But it's because of what happened to me, but that takes being transparent and what I found is when I'm transparent It honestly provides more empathy from the other person to be able to man. I'm sorry. You felt that way Well, what can I do? And like that then is deepening that relationship. I think that you need to have common faith goals. I think for me, a lot of things that I found in relationship is a lot of people like each other. But what their their faith is founded on are two totally different things.

2:37And I think you should be equally compatible in the things that you believe. And and when you do that, it's easier to have conversations about how to raise children finances for me and my wife We're christians that believe in the bible And so there are certain things that we disagree on and then we can go to the bible and we're like, okay But this is something that we believe together. Let's wrestle through this. Let's work through this Let's how does that make you feel? Let's ask somebody There are so many problems that have been solved because we believe the same things foundationally in our faith.

3:11And I'm encouraging people a lot of times that when you do that, it creates a foundation that moves past emotions. A lot of times that triggers, yeah, it's just like, well, I can't get it and I can't get it. But then when you go to certain things, love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrong. First Corinthians 13 is jacking me up right now. Love offers forgiveness. Love, oh, love is long-suffering. Like, these are words that we have adopted from a book that we believe has truth in it and principles to live by. And because we are on the same level in that faith, it corrects us sometimes when we don't want to be corrected.

3:52And then the third thing that I would say is fun. If you cannot have fun with the person that you're in relationship with, good luck. Life is hard. It is hard. There will be trouble. It's promised. But but if you can find somebody to look at in the in the darkest part of the valley and laugh and laugh with them. It happened to me and Natalie on the plane yesterday. I told you before we brought two of our daughters with us and they're seven and three years old. and we're on a plane from Tulsa to LA, three and a half hours. You can imagine all the fruit snacks and the iPads and all of the different things.

4:30Crying. Just the whole nine. And my wife is pregnant right now, so put that on top of it. And she's trying to eat, and I'm sitting in the chair next to her, and something drops off of her plate, and I can see the breakdown just right up ahead like a movie. And I just look at her, and she starts laughing, and she sees me and she breaks out and for 20 minutes laughing we are dying on the plane not because everything's good because we have somebody to be through and go through everything with them and that joy i mean literally we got off the plane and all those stuff she said i haven't laughed like that in so long the three things that have gotten us through the three things I just gave you.

5:18Transparency, our faith foundation being the same, and being the fun. It has to be lived out, and that's what we're trying to do.

5:39Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description that will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on the school of greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple podcast and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple podcast right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

6:29Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.