Turn Their Words Into Unshakable Confidence | Karamo Brown

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0:54Your words don't matter. And what you are saying about me doesn't matter because who I am is going to walk through this world and be enough and be successful. Right. Wow. Yeah. What affected you more? Words that people said, looks, you know, energy that they brought to you, just disapprovals of certain things about you. What was the thing that affected you or hurt you more? It was definitely not the disapproval because you've never been in an immigrant household. Disapproval was running rampant It was like no A here What are you doing with your life I was kind of immune to disapproval from people I think it was I think it was probably The words I turned 6 '2 In the 9th grade And got a full beard by 10th grade So I was kind of fine Back then I was kind of killing it You know what I mean Like, so I had this sort of like weird confidence from that.

1:53I'm joking. Like that's objective. But I had a confidence in that. So like people didn't really look at me or, you know, in those ways. It was more so like as I would just start to share my truth. I was very keenly aware of their responses. And I've always been a great listener. When I was growing up, my granny used to tell me you got two ears, one mouth. you're supposed to be doing one of those double time and i still believe that today i do more listening and asking a lot more questions than i do talking um and so because i was so keenly aware to what people were saying i would analyze it and and let it like seep in really oh my god so those words would affect you deeply i still like you you never had this like were you just in the shower somewhere and all of a sudden you cringe i call them cringe moments and all of a sudden you're about something that happened 10 years ago and you're like did i do that oh my god did i read why didn't i say something and you just you start to play a moment in your life that shouldn't be out of your memory but it just pops up has it ever happened to you of course yeah happens to me and like what was the thing that you remembered the most that was the cringeworthy moments the memories that affected you years later yeah that still impacted you 10 20 years after the fact um i think a lot of it is like when i didn't stand up for myself like the moments that i knew or i didn't stand up for someone else who is similar to me in identity or expression and I saw that I had the power in that moment that I could have said something to change it and I didn't or I allowed someone to say something to me and I laughed it off like those are the moments when I cringe a lot and I'm more aware because like you know people say stuff and you're like if you're you're one of out of a thousand in a in a corporate environment a school environment and your family and someone says a joke and everyone else finds it funny and you have to kind of like, yeah, kind of laugh with it.

3:48Those moments now for me, I cringe on them and they'll pop up like the weirdest times. And I'll just be like, I can't believe I let that, I can't believe I let that ride. I can't believe I let that slide. But I've gotten through those days because I practice a lot more patience and grace with myself. Yeah. Self-compassion and self-love. Yeah. I practice those things constantly. On a scale of one to 10, the self-love scale, if you were to assess yourself, where would you be? 10 being you love and accept yourself fully for who you are today. Yeah. One being you hate yourself completely and have no self-respect and no love.

4:24Where would you be in that scale in this moment? Right now? Yeah. Today. I feel cute today. Like, you know, my eyebrows are on fleek. I'm not a cute, cute nine right now. Nine and a half. You know what I mean? I wouldn't say 10 because one of my biggest things, I always believe that we have to keep growing. And so like, I never want to hit the peak. Sure. I think growth is always great.

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