Why 63% Of Men Under 30 Have Stopped Dating | Scott Galloway

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:10If I'm a woman hearing these stats that essentially I live longer without a man in my life, you know, who knows the context of all these things, but I also, I'm fine without a man in some ways. Yeah. Why should women get in a relationship with a man if there's also benefit for women being single? Yeah. So there's, unfortunately, I think that there's... a family and raising children and you know providing for society in a different way obviously and not being alone your whole life there's there's i think in online media especially but all media there's a romanticization of the independent feminine strong woman and i think a lot of that is really positive but i also think it's created a culture where it's sort of women are encouraged to kind of be one striker out as a man oh he doesn't get along with his parents, red flag, like every yellow or magenta flag is a red flag.

1:07And you're the strong, independent, beautiful woman, and you don't need a man. And whenever I ask for a dating advice, the advice I give to men is, the first thing I ask is, would you want to have sex with you? Are you in shape? Do you have a plan? Are you kind? Do you demonstrate artisanship and interest in different things? You know, how do you demonstrate excellence? And the advice I would give to women is what I call a second coffee. And that is, I think women are celebrated for exiting relationships, you know, inspiring Carly Simon songs about walking out on that man and you don't need a man.

1:39And when surveys, when men are said, when men are asked if a woman had 80 % of everything you want, would that suffice for you? 75 % of men say, yeah, that'd be, that'd be great. When women presented with the same metric, 80 % of everything you want, 75 % say that's not enough. They need like 95 % or a hundred percent of what they want. Well, and again, I think that, let me go straight to the solve. The solve is for men to level up. Yes. But if you look at kind of the content of what algorithms like, it's a lot of women saying like a basic standard metric is because I think it's happened because of online dating where the metrics get distilled down to some very base crude things.

2:20Six feet, six figures. Like that's not a lot to ask, right? Six feet, six figures. If you take out married men, obese men, men over the age of 50, it's 2 % of the population. And if you talk to people who've been married longer than 30 years, 80 % of them say one was much more interested in the beginning than the other. And it was almost always the man. The reality is, we're less choosy. If you have a room with 100 people, 50 men and 50 women, and there's alcohol involved, the majority of the men would agree to have sex with the majority of the women. The majority of the women would sleep with none of the men.

2:58Women are choosier. And typically what's happened in these relationships where people end up together is the woman says, I wasn't initially that interested, but I like the way he treated his parents at church. We hung out with the same friend group and I found he was funny. I like the way he danced. I like the way he smelled. I found that he was really kind. I was so impressed with him at work. He was outstanding at what he does. Where does a man, what venues now does a young man have to demonstrate excellence, right? If they're not going to church, they're not going to school, they're not going to work, where do they have the opportunity to develop the skills and then demonstrate their strengths and skills over time?

3:38And instead, it's kind of been consolidated now to the one medium where most people are mating or finding dates and that is online and anytime you digitize any market it does become a winner take most environment and then they're they're up against this almost indomitable foe and that is 40 of the S &P by market value now is related to AI the Magnum's intent and their objective they're not malicious but unwittingly the algorithms have figured out For every second we can take someone out of the organic mammalia world and put them on a screen, we can monetize it. And the person who is most susceptible to arbitraging their real life to an online life is a young man because of a less mature prefrontal cortex, executive function, the susceptibility to addiction around constant dopa.

4:33so ground zero for our economy right now or monetizing our uh young people to drive trillions of dollars in value is essentially trying to sequester young men from their relationships so i worry that at the hands of this godlike technology regulated by paleolithic instincts and medieval institutions that we're evolving a new species of a so of asocial asexual males. And my prediction is, unless we weigh in with programs and regulate big tech, when you go to malls, I'm doing a live podcast tonight with 2000 people. I think you are going to visibly see fewer and fewer young men. I think they are going out or going to events in the real world.

5:23I think more and more of them are going to be alone in a room with a screen. And why go through the pecking order of trying to establish friends when you have Reddit and Discord? Why put on a tie, show up, try and navigate the difficulties and complexities of the workplace when you think you can trade stocks or crypto on Robinhood or Coinbase? And why would you go through the effort, the expense, the potential rejection, humiliation, effort, perseverance, willingness to endure rejection involved in establishing a romantic or a sexual relationship when you have synthetic life-like porn at home.

5:59So I think we're going to have essentially, I mean, there's now one out of seven men are called NEATs. They're neither in education, employment, or in training. They're literally doing nothing. And 63 % of men under the age of 30 aren't even trying to date.

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