Why Selflessness Makes You Magnetic | John Maxwell EP 595

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:11Those that you've really taught and trained and you coach some of the greatest leaders in the world, business, sports, you know, all these different things. What are the habits that make them irresistible and able to manifest and create more in their life? obviously the quality and the intention of service and helping others and giving is a big intention that they have that it brings them joy but what would you say are those qualities that just make them so that people want to follow them that people want to give them opportunities that people like things fall in their lap what makes them so irresistible having a joy about life and and about people.

0:52I was having a conversation one time with a very successful person, very funny person, a comedian. And he said, you know, it's hard to be funny if you don't have fun. And that made perfect sense to me. And when he said that, I hadn't thought about it until he told me, but I thought that's exactly right. If you have fun in life and you have joy in life, you begin to be irresistible. Ella Mae Wilcox wrote that poem. What was it? It said, There are two kinds of people on earth today, just two kinds of people. The more I say, not the good and the bad, for it's well understood. The good are half bad, the bad are half good.

1:28No, there's two kinds of people in life, I mean. It's the people who lift and the people who lean. If you are a plus in people's lives, they want to be around you. I'm either a plus in people's lives or I'm a minus in people's lives. I'm either adding joy to them and intentionally being kind. or else I'm, you know, some people are just, they get up and they say, who's going to make my day today? You know, Robert Louis Stevens said, I love this quote. He said, I consider the success of my day based on the seeds I sow, not the harvest I reap. And what he understood was, if you're just constantly sowing seeds, the harvest is automatic.

2:11My gosh, I mean, I'm reaping a huge harvest today. And I'm looking at it. In fact, it's embarrassing to me. And I I look at it and I think, how did this all happen? Well, I know how it happened. I've, I've sown seeds all my life. And so, you know, if I decide to be a plus for you, you're going to want me to be around you. And if I decide that I'm going to be a minus and, and, and, and you're, I'm going to, you know, expect you every day to quote, quote, make my day. I'm going to drag on you. There's nothing contagious about a selfish person. I mean, there really isn't. but there's something very contagious about a happy, joyful, giving individual who really loves to add value to others.

2:52Dan Ryland, who was on my staff one time, gave me a great definition of charisma. He said, people with charisma, their interest is in other people and people that lack charisma, their interest is in themselves. And I think that's very true. I think we sometimes assign things to personality instead of intentionality. And I think any person that wants to, they can immediately make a change there. They can say, look, I'm going to change my behavior here. I'm going to serve and add value to people and quit being such a drag in people's life. But I think people that are minus Lewis, I don't think most of them know it.

3:28I don't think they realize it. Surely people don't get up and just say, I want to screw somebody's day up. But I think if you are a plus in people's lives, I think it's very conscious because I don't think it's natural. I think it's natural for us to be selfish. So if I'm going to sow seed and give and serve, I think I go against what's natural. And so therefore, successful people develop habits that may not be natural, but are greatly beneficial. I'll share a quick story with you to add to this. I lived in Columbus, Ohio after I was playing arena football. I went to pursue the NFL. I played arena ball, got injured, broke my wrist, and then I was sleeping on my sister's couch for a year and a half, thinking, what am I going to do with my life?

4:14I have no skills. I didn't graduate college. I barely passed to stay in college. I just focused on sports and girls. That was pretty much it. There you go. And when I got injured, I realized, oh, I can't go play ball anymore. What am I going to do now? I'm 24. for, in my mind, I'm thinking I have no skills for a career. It was 2007, 2008, that timeframe when the economy crashed and people with masters weren't getting jobs and it was just challenging. So I was like, how am I going to do something with my life? I ended up reaching out to as many people on LinkedIn in Columbus that were executive CEOs that I could to learn about their stories.

4:57I never asked for advice. I never said, can you give me a job? Can you help me? Sure. I just said, I want to learn how you became successful. It's inspiring what you've created. I started hosting these networking events and going to events as well in Columbus and then around the country. And as I would go to these events, all I would do is ask people questions about their success, about their challenges they overcame. And I would never say anything about myself. and people at the end of the conversation would always be like, man, you're like the most interesting person here. Thank you so much for asking me these questions.

5:31And I didn't say anything about me. I just asked. And sometimes asking questions can be the greatest gift you give someone than trying to be this personality and interesting and say stuff about you. So I went into it, not knowing what to do, not thinking I had value, but just opening someone's heart and mind to their life story is such a gift as well.

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6:55Again, have an amazing day and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.