Why You Should Have A Service Mentality | Inky Johnson EP 803

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:11Sometimes you got to stop focusing and thinking about what could have happened and what should have happened. And you got to live in what is happening, right? Because I always say to him, stop trying to understand it and focus on surviving it. Because the quicker you can survive it, the quicker you can use it, the quicker you can extract a lesson from it, the quicker you can glean perspective from it. And for all of us, we're going to encounter those defining moments in our lives, right, to where it's going to hurt, right? You went through it. I went through it. I remember I said to somebody, like, man, it felt like I was in a boxing match, and I just got KO'd.

0:48Life just knocked me out, bro, and I'm on the mat trying to find my mouthpiece, right? I'm, like, spitting out blood. I see him over there counting, right? I'm looking at my guy in the corner. He want to throw in the towel. I'm like, not yet. and I find the strength to muster up, to get myself up, be like, all right, let's go. I'm ready. Now, I'll never forget that person saying, you know what? Life is so cold-blooded, you're going to get knocked out like that again and again and again. So the challenge is, will you learn the lessons from it so the lessons doesn't have to keep getting repeated and you keep having to learn?

1:27So when you go through these things of opposition, adversity, and challenge, It's always a lesson. It's always a blessing. It's up to us to extract it. And if we're so concerned with trying to understand why, why, why, we're going to miss the lesson, right? We're going to miss the blessing. And the lesson is going to keep repeating itself. Like, I got two kids. One of our big things is attitude drives performance. Attitude drives performance. I say to them all the time, when you get negative and you get frustrated, what does it do to your performance? Like, it goes bad. It just gets bigger and bigger, negative and negative.

2:04I'm like, exactly. And so when it doesn't turn out the way you want it to turn out and you get negative, the lesson is just going to repeat itself until you graduate, right? Until you learn how to celebrate the pain. Celebrate. My son, sometimes he'll come out, go five for five, right? Might get two home runs, right? Other times he'll come out, go 0 for 5, right? When you go 0 for 5, are you going to start huffing and puffing? And then you got to get the lesson repeated again? or are you going to learn at a certain point to say, all right, man, it's baseball. It happens. So what? Clap it up, cheer on your teammate and say, you know what?

2:37Today I'm not getting it done on the offensive side. Defense, I got you, right? Sometimes I'm not getting it done on this side. I got you. And so that's the key to life. I think sometimes when things don't go our way, the quote says it. You judge the true character and caliber of a person, not by where they stand in times of comfort and convenience. You judge the true character and caliber of a person by where they stand in times of challenge and controversy, right? It's an incredible thing, and character can be cultivated in the midst of opposition and adversity. That's the reason it says it.

3:08It's King's quote. It doesn't say you judge character by how a person responds when everything is going good. They know how you're going to respond. Right. Happy-go-lucky. Celebrate. Hand clap. Great. Hippie parade. But when things go wrong, things don't go the way you want them to. They don't unfold the way you want them to. who are you? Because that's the true test of who you are as a person. That's your true character. That's the essence and the ethos of who you are as a person. Everybody is going to smile when the sun's shining, man. But the song says it. Can you stand the rain, baby? It says it.

3:46And so in light, can you stand the rain? That's the true test of character. Fatherhood has really pulled the element and the side out of me that, you know, has really served me well. Right. Because we're blessed with two beautiful kids, 11 year old daughter, 10 year old son, totally different in terms of how they view life, how they approach life and how they do things. Of course, my son is like my wife. It's total opposite. My daughter is like me. Right. And so some of the tactics early on that I would try to use with my son, it wouldn't work. And my wife is phenomenal. My wife, you know, at one point in her life, she was an educator, teacher, love kids.

4:26right and so communicating with kids for her comes second nature you know i'm more like toughen up a coach yeah yeah let's go right and so i leaned on her a lot and she would share things with me like i remember my my daughter man i had this moment it broke my heart man but it created extreme revelation like it was a light bulb moment but it hurt me as a father like when my daughter was probably say eight and you know i would have this mentality you know whenever they would do something great you know i was the guy that would see it you know and be like man that was great that was cool but if you do this it would help you get that if you did that it help you get this right i was that dude because that was the way i was wired and how i looked at things coming up, you know, just in sports and life, because I was that type of person.

5:20And I'll never forget, my daughter came out one day after school, sitting in the carpool. She comes out, she has like a test grade. She had like a, maybe like an 89. She gets in the car and she was like, dad, I got an 89 on my test. She was like, you probably don't think it's that good, but I'm really proud of myself. Like I worked really hard. I gave it everything I had. Right. And I was like, have I became that guy? I make my kids feel like nothing is ever good enough. And I remember talking to my wife that night and I shared with her what Jada said. And I was like, man, that really hurt me as a father.

6:09That hurt, bro. Like I get emotional about it. That hurt me. You know what I'm saying? Because I never wanted my kids or want my kids to ever feel like, I don't care if you do your best and you get a C. As your father, I got your back and I'm going to love you and I'm going to be proud of you regardless. I'm going to ride with you regardless. I'm your dude. You know what I'm saying? And I was like, man, that really hurt me that I made her feel that way that she had to say like, Dad, you might not think this is much, but I'm really proud of myself, right? And my wife said something to me, and she said, You know, sometimes, Inc., we can be so focused on who a person can become that we forget to acknowledge who they are and where they are.

7:00she's like sometimes we just gotta acknowledge who they are and where they are make an 89 and they gave their best at it hey man great job sometimes they're gonna have a 95 sometimes they're gonna have a 104 right but as their father it's my job to always be supportive to always be empathetic to always be understanding of course correction comes accountability comes they should always know that I'm going to be loving. I'm going to be understanding. And if you do your best and you say that's your best, that's enough.

7:46I am so excited for you to finish the rest of your day strong. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description and it'll take you to the full episode of my other show, The School of Greatness. Make sure to come back tomorrow for another episode of The Daily Motivation Show.