Why You’re Not Happy In Life & How To Fix It | Ed Mylett EP 724

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show. Today's episode is here to inspire you to live your best life today. Stories are one of the most powerful tools we have to inspire us, help us see the world differently, and take action towards our dreams. And here is one that I love.

0:27The confidence part is the thing I'm always going to have to work on. what needs to happen for me is that I'm most confident when I'm living in my intention which is to serve the confidence trilogy is faith so if you're a person of faith no matter what you believe in that's number one number two is my intention and third is my associations change my confidence but here's the biggie if you don't have self-confidence here's what you have you have a really bad reputation with yourself you have built a habit of not keeping the promises you make to yourself. We've all heard this before. Here's how I built what I would call almost superhuman confidence in spite of my insecurity.

1:05Think about that. Superhuman confidence in spite of my insecurity. That's an effort play. If you don't have self-confidence, you've never kept the promises you make to yourself. Check that box. If you have self-confidence, you've started to keep the promises you make to yourself. If you want to have superhuman self-confidence, you keep the promises you make to yourself and one more. So if I'm going to get up and I'm going to work out, I'm going to do 10 reps in the gym. I do one more. I'm going to do 45 minutes on the treadmill. I do one more. If I'm going to make 10 contacts in a day, I do that.

1:33And one more, but I'm going to tell my daughter, I love her every day. I'm going to do that. And one more. And so that higher standard, because in life, we don't get our goals. We get our standards long term. And so if your standard is one more starts, what starts to happen as you go, I'm willing to do things. Other people aren't willing to do. And I combine that, that I have great faith, great associations and I intend to help people this is a formula to build wonderful self-confidence and never lack humility when you have it you're not as far away from these dreams as you think you are you're actually a lot closer than you think but because you think it's so far away you behave in accordance with that belief system and it always keeps it that far away from you the first thing is you need to believe and know that you're one decision one relationship one meeting, one book, one thought, one something away from a completely different life.

2:24And when you know that, then you begin to look for them. But you don't just think and get rich. You have to do things. And by the way, rich can mean more bliss, more happiness, more peace. But you don't just get those things by thinking. There's some things you have to do. The other component too, called become an impossibility thinker and a possibility achiever. Here's how most people's frameworks, they're not intentional, so they keep getting. If the things most important to you are your worries, fears, anxieties, problems, bills. You will continue to have people, places, and things revealed to you that confirm it.

2:54And if you operate out of your memory and your history, if this is your pattern, your framework, you will continue to find those things. You need to learn to operate out of your imagination and your dreams. This is a different framework for life. Imagination is different than dreaming. Imagination causes you to create dreams and thoughts that never happen. When you imagine something, you create a space. Once you have a thought, this is powerful. When you have a thought, you create a space that did not exist in the world before you had that thought. And that space now exists. And the way your brain works and your life works and the universe works is it tries to furnish that space, whether it's a negative or a positive thought, it starts to hear things it wouldn't hear.

3:34You have to create a future in it. And by the way, it's okay that you don't believe all of it initially, as long as it becomes repetitive and we begin to take steps towards it, right? So I still have stuff from my past that's there, But this future is so big and by the way some things are okay people go. Why do you still work so hard? Well, I want to cradle there's still a little part of me that doesn't want to be broke Anytime I see someone operating out of anger. I think they're afraid so when I operate out of anger It's always fear. I'm always afraid Well, what about back in the day when you're hard on people?

4:05I was afraid I was gonna be broke I was afraid we were gonna lose the business. I was afraid this situation was gonna happen I was afraid someone was gonna shame me so I'm gonna get in front of it and be angry with them So for me anger is just a manifestation of fear and when I see it in other people men or women I have empathy for them because I know they're afraid Yeah, and I really do believe that I think anger is always a result of some type of fear And so here's what happens for most of us. We think everything's permanent Because we think it's permanent we make permanent decisions based on temporary conditions Even our bodies other than our souls temperate you need to create a different relationship with pain in your life chase difficult inconvenient things the phone call you don't want to make the meeting you don't want to have and for me in my life the inconvenient thing on the page is the one that now jumps off the screen at me that I must do for most people their relationship with the pain and the inconvenience is to avoid it avoid so if you could be yeah but if you could say to yourself on the other side of this is this other self and so whatever your pain is right now relationships is ended financially something that's difficult for you to do maybe you're trying to lose weight whatever it might be on the other side of that temporary pain is the other self and so for me most of my greatest gifts have been revealed of me doing the really uncomfortable inconvenient thing on the other side of it I meet this version of me I'm like the whole time I could have been a really good speaker this thing I was the most afraid of that I thought I sucked the most at might be one of my greatest gifts that's nuts and by the way the hardest working you've ever been the most crazy focus you've ever been was the happiest you've ever been in your life you go back well when i was studying for my master's degree whatever so you're like weren't you crazy focus you were busy all the time if you're a mother and you're carrying this baby and it's the hardest thing you've ever do is carry this baby plus you had a job and you're bringing this person it's the happiest times of your life or when you're the most you feel out of control you're the most obsessed is when you're the happiest it's this just flawed belief that if i do nothing if i just have ah i'm gonna be super happy you weren't there's plenty of ahs i meditate every morning i pray every morning it's what gives me the energy and clarity of mind to do something great but this notion that that brings bliss that nothingness doing nothing expand no expansion of your being no contribution is going to make you happy this is a flawed belief you're literally moving from the very things that will make you happy.

6:34This notion that you not growing and expanding, you not contributing, you not evolving, your spirit was born. All the cells in your body regenerate themselves. Your digestive tract is brand new every six months to a year. Your lung tissue regenerates it. Your skeletal system regenerates about every six to eight years. You're constantly being reborn all the time internally. So externally and in your heart and your soul and your spirit and your brain, you should be as well. These are the things that make us happy, not just doing nothing. It's what gets you up. It's what you were born for. That mission, by the way, may be to serve other people and to bring peace to them.

7:11Great, but have something. The key thing is being able to operate out of this imagination. Why is imagination so important? When you were a child, three, four, five years old, you were probably happier than you are right now. Why? Two reasons. A, you were closer to God. You had just been with God more recently. And two, you operated out of your imagination. You didn't operate out of a history and a memory because you didn't have one. And slowly over time, by the time you were 10, 11, 12 years old, loving people installed their limiting thoughts and beliefs, their software into you. Because most things in life are caught, not taught.

7:45You catch them. And so now you're starting to operate out of history and memory. And you repeat it. And you see the things that reinforce that history and memory. And so you basically have the same life over and over again with a different cast of characters in a different environment, but the same emotions. You have the same emotional home. I've learned that this has already existed within me. I didn't have to go get it. I just had to allow myself to experience it. And it took me a long time to treat myself in such a way that I allowed myself to feel these things that have always been there. I had them when I was a little baby boy.

8:19I just lost them along the way in these patterns and programs that were installed in me and my experiences. You were born to do something great with your life, but that's not the condition to receive love. The highest form of maxing out in greatness is to give and receive love. I believe all this stuff's connected. I'm not like this is an entrepreneur, but sometimes I come across that way. I believe entrepreneurs and business people in general are the change agents in the world. I don't believe it's going to come from a political movement. I believe that entrepreneurs like ourselves are the people that are going to change the world.

8:55And I believe the planet's at a tipping point. And I think that we're trending in a direction where so many people feel invisible. So many people feel that they lack something. There's a lack of kindness and gentleness and love, particularly expressed by business people. Business people in general, the last 30 years have contributed to this in a major way. The brutal nature of business, the cutthroat nature of it. And I think the next 10 years that entrepreneurs, hopefully people like myself that are in the thought leader space, can begin to show people that entrepreneurs are the ones who can bring the most love and change and solutions to people's lives.

9:37And for me, because I do have this platform, I want everyone to feel seen. I want people to know you do matter. That person, that alcoholic and drug addict that helped my dad mattered big time. And you matter. And we need more people to come to you and say, you matter. And here's the actual reasons why you matter. It's not just a saying. You matter because of this. And I want to give people the tools and the resources to do it. I really would love to think that when I'm done, that all of us collectively have turned the corner on this way we treat one another in the world. Yeah. It concerns me so deeply, man.

10:11that my experience every single day with most people is that we have a lot in common and that we really do want to love and care for one another. And that sometimes success gets in the way of that. Financial pursuit gets in the way of it. Some of these thought leader entrepreneurs that are so aggressive about money, money, money, money, money. And I don't mind that because I think that that money can do a lot of good. But I believe there's a more beautiful and elegant way to get there. I don't think business has to be brutal. I think that there's an elegant and beautiful way to create wealth in your life and bliss That's there's not a lot of examples of and I intend to be one of those examples

10:54I am so excited for you to finish the rest of your day strong If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description And it'll take you to the full episode of my other show the school of greatness Make sure to come back tomorrow for another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.