You Will Fail In Life, Unless You Do These Things | Sian Beilock EP 793

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:12There's an old myth that our brains are pretty static once we get above a certain age, especially. I mean, I guess it goes with the, you can't teach old dogs new tricks, but the neuroscience research shows that that's just not true. Like you can, brains can change at any time. If you have someone practice juggling for six weeks, the areas of their brain that control motion will grow more connections. right it's just like anything else we know that if you practice meditation how your brain talks to areas talk to each other and grow more connections you can your brain is pretty plastic and I think you can learn these things there's always situations maybe where I'm in a meeting where I know someone doesn't agree with me and I have to get them sort of to see my point of view and I find that I have to calm myself down like I want to just talk but I have to make myself listen and when I'm feeling stressed, I want to talk.

1:06Like I want to just be in control of the situation and I find myself really having to guide myself to like step back and hear what they say. Because oftentimes when we're stressed, we don't listen, right? And this is true in the medical profession. Doctors have been shown to not listen to each other about communicating information. And it's not even that you don't listen, you don't even know you haven't listened. And a great example that has happened to all of us, like have you ever been at a party or someone introduces themselves to you and you realize right after you don't remember their name, like right after.

1:36And the research shows that it's not because you forgot it, it's that you probably weren't even listening when they said it. Like we never got it in because we were thinking about ourselves, we were focused on ourselves or how they were looking at us and we just weren't paying attention. People aren't going to remember everything. What do you want them to walk away with? What's the one thing? And if you can focus on that, then it frees up your attention to listen to someone else. right? Then you're not thinking about all the different things you want to get across. It's just that one thing. And I think it really does come back down to that.

2:07Like you don't walk away from any interview remembering everything. You remember a couple take-home points and it's liberating to come out thinking, okay, I'm going to give this big presentation. I'm going to try and convince people of X, Y, or Z. This is all I really care about. I'm going to interview for a job. I just want them to know this thing. You have to practice figuring out how to listen to people who have opposite views is really important. It's not an easy skill. Like it doesn't just come to you, just like pole vaulting. You had to like work on it, right? And it's hard to have conversations where you feel uncomfortable.

2:39We already talked about people not pushing to be discomfort in sports. It's true here too. Like it's so much easier to talk to people who agree with you. And that's essentially what happens on social media, right? We're in this circle of people who agree with what we're saying for the most part and it's just like echoing and reaffirmed. So how do you go out of your way to find people who don't agree with you, to have conversations that are going to make you uncomfortable. And it's actually okay to be uncomfortable. I talk about this all the time at Barnard. I think it's okay to be uncomfortable in the classroom.

3:10Like it's okay to be pushed. You know, we don't want hate. We don't want people to be fearful, but being uncomfortable, it makes your ideas better. If you have to argue your point and you have to get it across, it makes whatever you do better. That's what academic greatness is about. Yeah. I mean, And I think we're going to continue to push the limits of what humans can do. I mean, look at all we're doing in this anxiety provoking time to advance science. We're having difficult conversations about structural racism and class issues that we haven't really confronted in the same way. And it's going to be uncomfortable and not everyone's going to agree.

3:45But I think we're also seeing some really fantastic aspects of human nature come out of this, along with all the negativity. So I hope I have optimism. I think people, a lot of people have gotten used to being uncomfortable just in general. I mean, this is something we never would have expected with quarantine and COVID. And I think it's going to allow us to meet challenges in the future. We can change how our body and those feelings, how we interpret them. Right. And when we change how we interpret them, it affects us in different ways. So if you have sweaty palms and a beating heart and I say, oh, my God, that's a sign that you're really, you know, this is going to be tough and you're about to fail.

4:23like you're obviously feeling a lot of pressure, saying that to you is going to make you more likely to fail. But instead, if I say to you, hey, that sweaty palms and beating heart are actually a sign that you're awake and ready to go. Did you know that your heart is shunting blood to your brain so you can focus on the right things and get rid of those negative thoughts? Then that increase in physiological response is actually going to be a good thing. How we feel, that beating heart is the same when you're excited and happy as when you're scared. The physiological response is the same. It's just how you interpret it.

4:55And so there's so much power in that. And so reminding yourself, yeah, this sweaty palms and beating heart mean I'm ready to go. And I always say, look, if your heart wasn't beating, you'd be dead, right? I mean, you're getting ready for what's so important in what you're doing. It's good you're amped up. If you weren't amped up, you wouldn't be putting your best foot forward. It matters. Just saying that.

5:25I am so excited for you to finish the rest of your day strong. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description and it'll take you to the full episode of my other show, The School of Greatness. Make sure to come back tomorrow for another episode of The Daily Motivation Show.