You’ll Never Be The Same After This Life Advice | Muniba Mazari EP 286

0:00Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation show.

0:10I firmly believe that taking charge of your mindset allows you to be in the driver's seat of your life and unlock your potential. And that's why I'm thrilled to share that my new book is out right now. It's called The Greatness Mindset. In it, you'll learn how to build a plan for greatness through powerful exercises and toolkits designed to propel your life forward. This is the book that I wish I had 20 years ago. It's everything I've learned in the last decade with the research and the science to help you unlock your mind. Make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash 2023mindset to pick up your copy of my book, The Greatest Mindset, today.

0:51Can you talk about the importance and what you did to just overcome fear after fear and what that did for you, that exercise of overcoming them? I think the biggest obstacle is a long list of fears, all sorts of fears, known, unknown. My biggest fears were three. They were my major fears. So I wrote them down and I said, you know what, I'm going to overcome these fears one at a time. My biggest fear was facing people. Now, when I say this to the world that, you know, I was scared of facing people, people think I'm being funny, but no. And it's not the fact that I did not want to see people or I just hated people.

1:29that's why I didn't want to see them. You know, I was tired of, you know, those remarks like, oh, poor girl. I was tired of being treated as a patient. Oh, how do you feel? I feel the same. Ask me more about what I'm doing in life right now. And this mercy in their eyes that, oh, poor girl, that really, you know, that was killing me from within. And I said, you know what, I'm going to overcome this fear of facing people. And, you know, maybe one day they will understand that I'm okay. I'm okay the way I am now. I've accepted myself, so please, you need to accept me too. And as they say that when you think about doing something, the universe conspires.

2:10While I was thinking constantly about how can I overcome this fear of facing people? How can I do this? I was going to the malls. I was doing groceries, but that wasn't enough. Out of the blue, I got a call from TEDx. The guy said that, you know, we really want you to come and share your story and without missing a second i said i'm doing it so yeah that's how i gave my very first ted talk and in fact while i was giving the talk you know i was sharing my life story with the world there i was sitting in front of so many people and sharing my story thinking what am i doing you know i'm literally becoming an open book and everybody can come and say things to me because, you know, here I am.

2:56But then I realized that maybe, you know, someone somewhere in the audience needs my words. So I'll do it for that one person. And then later that girl came from the audience. And in that moment, I realized that, you know, probably being speaker is my true calling in life, maybe. You know, then the other biggest fear was the fear of not becoming a mother. And I was constantly thinking about it. How, how can I work? And then I sat down with my mother one day And I said, Mama, I want to adopt a child. But I was scared. Being a wheelchair user, I said, you know, it will be hard. And my mother said, I'm with you.

3:32We'll raise him together. So I said, can we do this? She said, yes, let's do it. And that's how. So I applied for adoption. I waited for two years. And then one fine day out of nowhere, I got a call. The lady said, there is a baby boy. And would you like to adopt? I said, is that even a question? Of course, yes. So that's how Nile came in my life. And then the other biggest fear was abandonment. As we were talking earlier, what happens when people leave? Trust me, nothing happens. We are so scared of abandonment that, again, when you let go of all the extra people, you realize that you never needed them.

4:12You just never needed them. So have a good relationship with yourself and you will never be scared of abandonment. why do you think so many people are afraid to be alone this is kind of like this fear i don't want to die alone i can't you know go day by day without having friends around me all the time i can't be alone i can't go to dinner by myself i can't go to the movie by myself i can't walk down the street alone why is there this insecurity or fear that so many people have because we forget that we came in the world with nothing and we live with nothing we came alone crying and when we were born we were in pain right and we were crying that was the sign of life oh the baby is alive because the baby is crying and the baby is in pain and when we leave we are alone so many people have left life does not stop because we are social animals right we human beings are social animals we need to socialize.

5:09Problem is not with the relationship. The problem is the expectations that we have with our partners that my spouse has to make me feel good. It doesn't work that way. Your spouse is a human being too, fighting battles. You are doing too. Again, if you two are not complementing each other, your life will become miserable. And also there's one thing that I've noticed. people are competing. I mean two people in a relationship are not complimenting each other. They're competing with one another. This is so silly. I mean you are supposed to compliment each other and no wonder why so many people are so broken.

5:50Either they switch to the new relationships like that because oh my god what will happen if we are all by ourselves. Trust me nothing happens. Being a wheelchair user, I have spent so much time on my own and it did not kill me. So when you sit with yourself, you realize, oh, I'm actually a good company for myself. And that's it. So you go, you meet people, you socialize because it's fun, but not because you need to do it, but because you want to do it. You know, it's this thing where we shouldn't be abandoning ourselves. We don't need to be at an event or be in relationships with people if they are constantly toxic, like you said, or if they're making us wrong or bad, if they're not accepting us.

6:36That's really a form of self-hatred if we keep putting ourselves in those situations and we abandon the love for ourselves, the boundaries we need to create to have the environment of peace and love and joy. So I think it's important for us to remember that. Like we don't have to keep showing up in situations where people are trying to hurt us. we can protect ourselves and not abandon ourselves. When people show you their true colors, believe them. Yeah, absolutely. Do not justify their toxicity. Oh, you know, my spouse is being overprotective. You know what? Because he's so much in love. No, that's toxic.

7:13That's bad. And it's only going to get worse. So be aware. When people show you their true colors, believe them. what advice would you give to people who are struggling to figure out what their dreams are and also how to go after them we have this constant pressure of overachievement thanks to social media why because everybody's posting about something great you know i achieved this i achieved that oh my god hashtag global trotter i cannot afford to buy a ticket i cannot go anywhere what am i supposed to do right when you see people posting rather bragging about what they have done in their lives every day projects after projects to question yourself am i doing enough am i good enough is my life meaningful enough right but let me tell you something social media is all about the good stuff nobody is going to post about their daily struggles when i try to sit every day in the morning because my back muscles don't work, I fall back.

8:20Then I try to get up, I fall back. And it happens, it continues. So basically, I start my day as a failure because I just cannot sit on my own without the help of my mother. But my social media doesn't show that. It's all about inspirational things, right? So please, you don't have to be an overachiever every day. Sometimes just waking up in the morning and not giving up on yourself is a huge achievement. And I do it every day. You do it every day. We all do that. So appreciate it and be kind to yourself.

9:00Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of The Daily Motivation, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to click the link in the description. That will take you to the full episode of our main podcast on The School of Greatness. And if you are loving the daily motivation, please follow us over on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want more exclusive content and ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcasts right now. And if you want to get even more inspiration from our world-class guests and learn how to improve your life and take it to the next level, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.

9:54Again, have an amazing day, and I'll see you tomorrow with another episode of the Daily Motivation Show.

10:10Thank you.