Do You Have This? | Protect Your Own Good

0:05Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a Stoic inspired meditation designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life. Each one of these episodes is based on the 2 ,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women to help you learn from them, to follow in their example, and to start your day off with a little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom. For more, visit dailystoic.com.

1:09poverty. Marcus Aurelius mentally rehearsed being criticized and misunderstood. Why did they put themselves in these uncomfortable positions? To get comfortable with them, to get comfortable with themselves. There's a great new profile of the writer Janet Malcolm, and she talks about one of the many benefits of this comfort, with this comfort, that the writer said she saw in Janet Malcolm. She was comfortable saying no to invitation, a photograph, a profile, an interview, a lecture if she didn't feel like doing it, which she mostly didn't, Profile says. As the writer Zoe Heller put it, that I think is a fantastic lesson for all women, you know, a polite, firm, no thank you.

1:52As the writer Alice Gregory told me, she is unwilling to temper the truth with all the kind of frilly girly things we do in conversation to soften things or to get people used to certain ideas. Look, there is no way around discomfort. If your life revolves around fitting in. If you are afraid to disagree with people or speak up, you're going to have a tough time. You're also going to let opportunities and goals pass you by. Each of us needs to cultivate a sense of comfort with ourselves, with saying no, with being straightforward and uncompromising in what we think is important. And the only way to get comfortable with discomfort is to practice it again and again until it no longer feels like discomfort at all.

2:42We just took our kids to an outdoor performance at the Nutcracker. They had a snow cone and then they went insane in the car ride home. And one of the things I try to remind myself when that's happening is that I don't control my kids' behavior, especially when they're too far gone like that, but I do control how I respond, right? That's stoicism, but it's also what Dr. Becky talks about. Dr. Becky is a clinical psychologist and a best-selling author, and she founded Good Inside, which is there to give parents practical, actionable tools for handling those everyday challenges with confidence. My wife introduced me to Dr.

3:19Becky's books. I love them. I've recommended them a million times. I've had her on the podcast. And as it happens, Dr. Becky is hosting two live Q &A events for Good Inside members. I am one of them. She signed me up for it about a year and a half ago. I've loved it ever since. On December 1st, you can join Dr. Becky for her How Not to Raise Assholes event, which is about avoiding entitlement and raising kind, empathetic kids. And on December 15th, she's hosting her How Not to Lose It Over the Holidays event, which I'm sure we could all use. As I said, I'm a big fan of Dr. Becky. She's been a great influence for me as a parent and just as a human being.

4:00And Daily Stoic listeners can join for 15 % off with code STOIC15. You just got to head over to goodinside.com to catch the events. Protect your own good. Musonius Rufus, one of Epictetus' teachers, taught that human beings are all born with an innate goodness, or as he put it, with an inclination to virtue. It's our choices that decide whether that goodness comes out or not. We're not bad people, essentially, though we might sometimes do bad things. The purpose of Stoicism then is to remind us of that goodness and to help us work hard to protect it. So spend some time this week writing about the choices you can make, the actions you can take to do just that.

4:46And this is from the Daily Stoic Journal, 366 days of writing and reflection on the art of living, which I use myself every morning. I love the little prompts. Here is Epictetus's Discourses, who, as you know, Epictetus was Musonius Rufus's student, protect your own good and all that you do. And as concerns everything else, take what is given as far as you can make reasoned use of it. If you don't, you'll be unlucky, prone to failure, hindered, and stymied. That's Discourses 4.3. And then Marcus Aurelius's Meditations. Marcus then influenced by Epictetus. So Musonius teaches Stoicism to Epictetus, whose writings then survive and make their way to Marcus Aurelius.

5:27Marcus Aurelius, as it happens, is introduced to Stoicism through Junius Rusticus, who loans him his copy of Epictetus. Dig deep within yourself, Marcus writes in Meditation 759, for there is a fountain of goodness ever ready to flow. You will keep digging. I guess what the Stoics are doing here is really pushing back on this notion of original sin, that we're toxic, broken, horrible people, that human nature is something to be feared. There is a darkness in us, but there's also incredible good. And I think the Stoics are talking about what side of you are you going to nurture? What side is going to come out?

6:01What side are you going to look for? What side are you going to reveal? And Musonius and Epictetus and Marcus are all tested in incredible ways. Musonius is exiled three times, perhaps four. Epictetus experiences the incredible injustice of slavery. Marcus Aurelius is given absolute power. And as they say, power reveals, but I think also adversity reveals. And in both Musonius and Epictetus' case, adversity revealed an unbreakable goodness, a commitment, a tenacity, a perseverance, an unswerving belief in these principles that we're talking about now. And in Marcus Aurelius, you know, he wasn't challenged the same way, although life did challenge him with loss and grief and pain and sickness, but it also challenged him with great bounty of good fortune.

6:56and that too tested his character. It tested whether there really was goodness inside of him and what side of him he was going to reveal. So as you go out into the world this week, think about who you really are underneath. Think about what kind of character you've been cultivating, and let's show people who we are and who we can be and what we actually believe. As Marcus says, let's not waste time arguing what a good man should be. Let's be one. Let's be the best we can for ourselves, for our family, for our world. And I'll talk to you soon.

7:55Thank you.

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