


In this episode, Ryan Holiday delves into the Stoic philosophy, particularly the concept of the Sphere of Choice. He discusses the balance between acknowledging life's harsh realities while maintaining emotional connections and kindness, demonstrating how Stoics can be both resilient and affectionate.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes.
Exploration of the Stoics' capacity for love and kindness despite their philosophy.
“people could be cut down by disease or events or a tyrant.”
Discussion on the Stoic concept of the sphere of choice and its significance for personal empowerment.
“As Epictetus says, every day and night, we keep thoughts like this at hand, write them, read them aloud, and talk to yourself and others about them.”
Insight on focusing energy on what one can control to exert influence and effect change.
“The one who cannot be upset by anything outside their reasoned choice.”

Get the gist, explore an idea or ask about something said.
On The Daily Stoic, what are the key points of this episode?
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.
0:05Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a Stoic inspired meditation designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life. Each one of these episodes is based on the 2 ,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women, to help you learn from them, to follow in their example, and to start your day off with a little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom. For more, visit dailystoic.com.
1:09people could be cut down by disease or events or a tyrant. So yeah, there was a gruffness to the Stoics, a weariness of getting too close or too attached, lest your heart be broken by fortune. But does that mean that the Stoics were unfeeling, utterly disconnected, harsh and invulnerable? Hardly. In his fascinating biography of Marcus Aurelius, which you can grab from the painted porch, and he's discussed it on the podcast many times, Donald Robertson takes pains to note a virtue exhibited by Marcus Aurelius's incredible mother, Lucilla, and he refers to her natural affection. While the mothers of many emperors before him were ambitious and cruel, she was kind and generous and genuinely loved by her own children.
1:55Marcus, Donald writes, came to agree with Franto, his rhetoric teacher, that generally speaking, those among us who are called patricians are rather deficient in precisely this quality. Both Marcus and Fronto, Donald, point out, use the word that Paul would use in the Bible, which he used to say that Christians were to be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love. The Stoics loved and were loved. They honored their parents. They played with their children. And this is exactly how one would describe Cato's relationship to his brother, who lived very differently than he did, just as it would describe Marcus with his stepbrother, Lucius Verus, who was also quite different.
2:37The Stoics were kind. They cared about people. And not just people they were related to, but all humankind.
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5:46It's a risk-free customer first experience designed to ensure that you're completely satisfied with your new mattress and includes 120 night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. Go to helixsleep.com slash stoic for 27 % off. That's helix.com slash stoic for 27 % off. Just make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you helix.com slash stoic the sphere of choice and this is from this week's entry in the daily stoic journal 366 days of writing and reflection on the art of living by yours truly and my co-writer and translator steven hanselman i actually do this journal every single day there's a question in the morning a question in the afternoon, then there's these sort of weekly meditations.
6:37As Epictetus says, every day and night, we keep thoughts like this at hand, write them, read them aloud, and talk to yourself and others about them. You can check out the Daily Stoic Journal anywhere books are sold. You can also get a signed personalized copy from me in the Daily Stoic store at store.dailystoic.com. If the first step is to discern what is or isn't in our control, the second step in Stoic philosophy is to focus the energy on the things we have a choice about. The Stoics viewed the soul as a sphere that, when well-tuned, well-directed, was an invincible fortress against any trial or circumstance.
7:12Protected by our reason, this sphere of choice was like a sacred temple, and it is the only thing we truly possess in this life. We are the product of our choices, so it is essential that we choose well. This week, consider and reflect on the choices you have about your emotions, your actions, your beliefs, and your priorities. Keep this thought at the ready at daybreak and through the day and night. There is only one path to happiness and that is in giving up all that is outside your sphere of choice regarding nothing else as your possession, surrendering all else to God in fortune. Epictetus, Discourses 4.4.
7:52Who then is invincible? The one who cannot be upset by anything outside their reasoned choice. Epictetus Discourses, 118. The soul is a sphere true to itself, and neither projects itself towards any external thing, nor does it collapse on itself, but instead radiates a light which it shows itself the truth of all things and truth in and of itself. Marcus Aurelius Meditations, 1112. Well, here we are. we were talking about this last week, you know, you only have so many energy points. You only have so much, so many resources. How are you going to spend them? Are you going to spend them on what's up to you?
8:32Are you going to spend them on what's not up to you? Are you going to emote about things and pretend that that makes a difference? Or are you going to spend your energy trying to do something about this thing that you found so upsetting, right? So I think people think that That stoicism is about resignation. It's not. It's about allocation, right? It's resigned to the things that make no difference, where you can make no difference. But it's very focused, intensely focused on the areas that you can make a difference, right? So you could despair about the larger political trends in your country because you're one person and you're at odds with the majority.
9:19But maybe you can make a difference with your family, with your community. You could run for school board or mayor or something like that. What can you do as the individual? That's not to say the Stoics aren't interested in collective action. I'm just saying I'm going to focus my energy where it's going to make a difference. And as a Stokes, they'd be indifferent to the things where I can make no difference. Right. Where can you make a difference? Right. You know, it gets tempting as a writer, right, because our job as a writer is to have opinions about things. That's a really dangerous way to go through your life, thinking that the world gives a shit about your opinion.
9:55Right. And that having the opinion is the thing that matters. And it doesn't matter. Right. What matters is what you do. What are the actions? Right. We ended the year with the idea from the Stokes about turning words into works. Well, what are you providing? Where are you putting your resources? And are you putting them towards where they have input, where they have efficacy? So a Stoic has resigned in some sense to, look, I'm not going to get involved in that nonsense. I'm not going to waste time regretting the past either. What I'm going to try to do is move forward. What I'm going to try to do is move ahead.
10:27What I'm going to try to do is make some change where I can make some change. And yeah, I'm going to be indifferent to the things where that's not true. And that's what we're talking about here, right? That's what the sphere of choice is about. And it's an easy thing to forget. And that's why Epictetus is saying, keep it ready in the morning. Think about it throughout the day and think about it at night. He's saying there's one path to happiness. It's giving up the things that are outside your sphere of choice, focusing on what else is in your possession, surrendering everything else. So it's being Zen about the things that are not up to you.
11:02But there's a kind of invincibility in that Zen, right? Because if I didn't make the call, I didn't do it. If it wasn't something that was up to me, I'm not going to get upset by it. Remember Marcus saying, you don't have to have an opinion about this. You don't have to get upset. But you should be upset about your own choices. Why did I do that? Why didn't I do that? Why did I make this mistake? Why did I do this thing again? that I told myself I was going to stop doing. Focus on you. Focus on your choices. Make good choices. That's how you exert control over the world. Something I remind myself, you see what's going on in the world and you can despair, you can feel sad or you can go, look, I've got two little kids in my house who I'm responsible for.
11:47The biggest multi-generational impact I can have is in raising them well. And then I go, and this is something Seneca failed. It's like Seneca spent all these years beating his head against the wall, trying to change Nero. he's affected far more people had far more impact in his writing where which he did control so i go okay and look i i'm not gonna you know yell at some some person i know on social media for being for being silly and have the impact on one person but i i am going to sit down and write about this or talk about this on the podcast in a way that can reach a lot of people right let's stay in our lanes let's do what we can do let's try to make a difference where we can and if we all do that cumulatively, that is collective action, and that does have a big impact.
12:33So this is a short lesson today. It's a straightforward one, but it's so hard, and that's why Seneca's saying you got to remind yourself constantly throughout the day, I'm going to focus on what's in my sphere of choice. That's where I have impact. I'm going to focus on allocating my energy properly, not going to waste it on regret, not going to waste it on bitterness, on resentment, on anger, on fear, on worry, on hope. I'm going to focus on what I control. I'm going to make a difference there. That's what Stoic does.
13:27Thank you.
They knew that life was tough. They knew that a fragile person would not survive. But does that mean the Stoics were unfeeling? Utterly disconnected? Harsh and invulnerable?
🎙️ Interview mentioned: Donald Robertson: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube
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