Don’t Lose the Day in Expectation of the Night | with It's Not Too Late, But Don't Wait (ft. Chris Guillebeau)

0:00Ryan Holiday: So I just got back from two weeks in New Zealand and Australia. I was on tour for Daily Stoic Live and we stayed in two different places in Bondi Beach. I would wake up every morning, go for a long run. And it's been one of my favorite places for like a decade and a half. Actually, it made me think while I was there that the very first time that my wife and I went to Australia, part of how we paid for that trip was we listed our house on Airbnb while we were gone. That was something we would do back then, especially as I was making that transition from marketing, my corporate career to writing, is that when I would travel for talks, we would list our house on Airbnb.

0:35Ryan Holiday: We had this little house in East Austin, and that's how we covered the mortgages. When we were gone, people would stay in it while we were out of town. If you have space and you're going to be away, maybe that can be a memorable place for someone else to stay. Your home might be worth more than you think. And you can find out how much at Airbnb.com slash host. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world. Don't lose the day in expectation of the night. The clocks have been changed. It is officially starting to get cold.

1:19Ryan Holiday: Vacations have ended. The beach and the pool and the parks are quieter. Summer is gone. Fall is here. Winter is on its way. And there's a part of you that can't wait. You're done with the heat. You long for cooler days, for a change of seasons, change to your fall wardrobe, maybe even a fresh start, deer season, skiing, whatever. But Seneca speaks of those who lose the day in expectation of the night, and night in fear of the dawn. He's saying that our anticipation of what's to come, positive or negative. It robs us of what is right here right now. We miss out on being present, on being still, on enjoying life for what it is right now.

2:15Ryan Holiday: So whatever season you would call this moment, don't wish it away. If you can still swim outdoors where you live, if you can still use the back patio in the evening, enjoy it. Maybe the mornings require a light jacket where you are. Enjoy that, because soon enough you'll be scraping ice off your windshield before you drive to work. As the weather cools, as the days grow shorter, as the sun sets on another day of your life, remember that Seneca also encouraged us to begin at once to live and account each day as its own. Another season of your life, of your partner's life, of your kids' lives, of your parents' lives, has come and gone.

2:59Ryan Holiday: A period of chances taken, opportunities missed, gone, and never to return again in the same way. Don't waste it. Don't miss it. And, you know, it's funny. I wrote this email actually much closer to when summer was ending, and then I had to rewrite it earlier this week. and then this morning, before I recorded this, I had to go back inside before I walked the dog to grab a pair of gloves. It was hot like three days ago, and then it happened, which is sort of the point. It sneaks up on us. The transitions happen quicker than we think, and there is a stoic reminder in that.

3:51Ryan Holiday: Look, it's been a while since I've had to fill out an expense report. That's one of the perks of not having a job. But I don't remember enjoying the experience. And certainly, I don't want my employees to waste a bunch of their time doing it. You know, you got to find the receipt. You got to guess what category it goes in. Then finance is asking you, well, what about this? Or are you sure this was proper? Or, you know, what if you didn't have to do any of that? It's bad use of your time. That's bad use of company time. Expense reports are tedious. It's not what I want my employees doing. Well, Ramp makes collecting and submitting expenses super simple.

4:30Ryan Holiday: With Ramp, expenses submit themselves. You just text or email your receipt and Ramp categorizes codes and submits it. And when you book business travel with Ramp, they find the best flights and hotels you're actually allowed to book. You don't find out later that your company is only partially going to cover it. Ramp is the only finance platform that employees and finance teams both rave about. And companies have saved over$12 billion with Ramp. I think every business owner, every employee is trying to find tools that reduce the amount of admin process that they have to go through. And Ramp helps you do that.

5:02Ryan Holiday: Ramp helps your team save time with one of those most tedious admin tasks. Time is money. Save both with Ramp. New customers get$250 off at ramp.com slash daily stoic. Go to ramp.com slash daily stoic. So I woke up this morning as I do every morning, thanks to my eight sleep. I've loved my eight sleep for years. The new 8sleep pod 6 is officially available. 8sleep can result in up to 34 % more deep sleep and a 32 % average increase in sleep quality scores. And the 8sleep's sixth generation of the pod is a smart mattress cover that now truly fits on any size mattress. The hub is 50 % smaller than the previous versions.

5:48Ryan Holiday: Its thermal engine is 20 % faster. And the new cover has nine times the biometric sensors of the pod five and now with ai in the autopilot it learns your patterns and adjusts every single night the pod six starts at$1 ,999 that's the lowest price eight sleep has ever offered and you can use code daily stoic right now at eightsleep.com daily stoic for up to$200 off the pod six and you'll get 30 days at home to try it free returns if it's not for you

6:21Ryan Holiday: so when people hear this idea like the stoics talk about memento mori right yeah life is short think about all the time but i think that causes people a lot of anxiety sure how can meditating on mortality and the shortness of life be invigorating as opposed to anxiety inducing

6:38Chris Guillebeau: yeah so i think there there are two things the first is there's a difference in understanding I was going to say existential. That's not the right word. It's more of like the intellectual understanding of mortality, right? Like everybody dies versus the emotional or personal understanding someday I will die. And I had this previous book about quests and going to every country in the world and people who'd done different quests. And one of the things I, the commonalities I saw among them is they often had this very personal or emotional awareness of mortality. Yeah. Or they had a near-death experience.

7:10Chris Guillebeau: Yeah, exactly. Or someone close to them or something, you know, or sometimes it wasn't anything like that. They just had this from a young age. But yes, however they got there, they had that. And I think, so it can be very anxiety-inducing, as you said, or it can be very purposeful and it can help you understand, okay, well, instead of living in ignorance of this fact, which is true for you and for me and for people we love and for everyone, I'm actually aware of it. I accept it. it's just how things go and therefore the gift is that i have this awareness and the gift is i understand every day is precious i understand that i get to yes you know do something that matters to me i get to have important relationships and invest in those people and hopefully create something and yeah who knows if it'll if it matters in 100 years or 200 years right like you said uh but this is what's in front of me now and that is a gift and so i think thinking about death every day, which is a phrase I've used, I know you've used that as well.

8:08Chris Guillebeau: I think it is purpose-inducing rather than anxiety-inducing.

8:13Ryan Holiday: I think when you think about memento mori, it's not that you will die tomorrow, right? It's not an asteroid is coming and humanity is not going to survive. Remember a couple of years ago, there was that missile alert in Hawaii. There's no island, there's nothing. Knowing that on the one hand would be settling in the sense that it's certain, but profoundly unsettling because almost nihilistic in that like everything is now rendered potentially meaningless because the future has disappeared. That's not what memento mori is supposed to make you feel. Memento mori is that you could die tomorrow. You definitely will die.

8:51Ryan Holiday: It could be tomorrow. Like if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, maybe try heroin. You're now immune from the consequences or a nerd to a certain degree of the long-term consequences from your decision. It's that you could die actually makes the consequences of your decisions immediate and urgent. That's the difference, right? So I think if you're thinking like, well, why does it matter? I'm going to die. You're not doing it right. It's that, it's that, Hey, tomorrow is not guaranteed. And the next day is not guaranteed. And what is guaranteed is that at some point there's no more tomorrows.

9:27Ryan Holiday: so don't do it later do it now don't do it crappy do it well because it could be the last time you're

9:35Chris Guillebeau: that's right i think i wrote in the book about this gives you a built-in excuse sure for not doing anything that you don't want to do yes and i understand what you mean about like we would just take care of one if it was going to be tomorrow but i still think like if you're just like when you have requests or opportunities for your time demands for your time uh that you don't want to to engage with uh i think it's good to just be like no thanks i can't do this because

9:58Ryan Holiday: i'm gonna die one day no no mark's in meditation he says um let me see if i can find it he says

10:03Chris Guillebeau: this meeting sounds great but i'm actually gonna die so you know probably not tomorrow i don't think but i don't know well well what he says is and i think there's a great question he goes

10:10Ryan Holiday: whenever you're doing something ask yourself am i afraid of death because if i die i won't be able to do this anymore right there's a bunch of things that i don't want to die because i love playing with my kids. I love nature. I love my job. I love writing. I don't love standing in line. I don't love traffic. I don't love, you know, there's a lot of things I don't love. And so the meditating on your mortality, it gives you this perspective, as you said, a built-in excuse to go, why the fuck am I doing this? I'm only here for so long. It also can have the effect of going like, this is why I'm fucking doing this because I'm only here for so long.

10:50Ryan Holiday: So it cuts both ways. And it's very clarifying in that sense. I remember I was standing, you know, Waverly Cemetery in Australia, like on Bondi Beach, that walk. Yeah, I know the walk. There's that cemetery right over the ocean. I remember I was looking out over that cemetery once and I was thinking for almost no one in this cemetery, were they like, it's time. Like everyone else, it was like, it's too soon. It snuck up on every single one of these people here as it will sneak Sure.

11:48Ryan Holiday: should have more than a large number to show at the end of your life. That's great. Right. Because people are like, I'm 87. Can you believe it? And it's like, I've met 17 year olds that have done more. That's right. That's right. Like, did you become what you were capable of becoming? And I think that's ultimately, if there's anything that should give us anxiety, it's that not, hey, if I don't get there by three o 'clock, someone's going to be mad at me. Sure. You know?

12:14Chris Guillebeau: Sure, For sure. Or is it too late? I think that's something that drives a lot of anxiety. It's too late for me. I feel like I'm too late in life. But, you know, speaking of the age thing, it's interesting because I did a lot of research and asked this question of a lot of people. And I had people who were 17 who said the same thing. Yes. Oh, it sounds so silly, but it's just as dumb, you know, if you're 30 or 40 or literally any age, it's too late. Like there are some hard limits to some things. You know, you can't become a gymnast at certain ages or Olympic gymnast, you know, let's say. Right.

12:46Ryan Holiday: Like even that distinction is interesting, right? Right. Right. Exactly. It's like, is that too late to really love gymnastics? Yes. A hundred percent.

12:53Chris Guillebeau: It's not too late to work at a gymnasium. Right. Right. Right. There's alternatives. Right. So yes, there are some limits, but there is so much more. So yes, at all ages, people have this sense of like, oh, I've missed my chance. Right. And you haven't missed your chance. There are more chances. You probably haven't missed whatever chance you're thinking of, but there are also other chances.

13:39Chris Guillebeau: We'll be right back.