It’s Not How You See It. It’s What You Make It | 18 Stoic Lessons You’ll Wish You Learned Sooner

0:00Ryan Holiday: So I have a bunch of traveling I'm doing through the end of the year on Daily Stoic Live Tour. I just got back from San Diego. I like to stay in the places that I'm staying. I like to book places on Airbnb so I can be like a local. I not only do some of my best writing, but I learn about things that I wouldn't have known otherwise. When I was just in San Diego, I took a walk along the water. I bumped into someone who recognized me. And they told me about their favorite local bookstore, which was like two blocks from where I was staying. And I never would have known about it if it wasn't for that encounter.

0:30Ryan Holiday: It was cool to me to think that I have helped facilitate that experience for many, many people coming to Austin over the years. The first house that I bought in Austin when my wife and I first moved here, we would list it on Airbnb and it helped me make the transition from my corporate life to being a full-time writer. So if you're going to be away, you should maybe think about listing your place on Airbnb. It can be a great way to earn extra cash while you travel. It can offset the cost of your trip or maybe even go towards whatever you're doing next. If you've got travel coming up, check out Airbnb.

1:00Ryan Holiday: Your home might be worth more than you think, and you can find out how much at Airbnb.com slash host. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world.

1:21It's not how you see it. It's what you make it. But for the third day in a row, I guess we need to correct ourselves or at least clarify what we talked about the previous day. Yesterday, we pointed out that whether the present moment is good or bad is all in how you look at it. And that is partly true. It's easy to glamorize the past. It's also easy to give short shrift to the present. Which handle are you going to grab? What will your outlook be? This is a critical choice, the Stoics would say, and it has a big impact on your mood, to be sure. But this is hardly the most important choice we make.

1:59The most important choice we make is not whether we see the good. The most important choice is whether we do good, whether we make the present good. There is a passage in meditations in which Marks really walks through this exact process. At first, he despairs, writing that it feels like fortune has abandoned him. But then he stops and reminds himself that good fortune is something you make for yourself by taking good actions and doing good deeds. Whether Rome was good or bad at that time is irrelevant. Marcus Aurelius was a good man in that time. He was a bright light. He made things better. He set an example that has reverberated through the centuries.

2:39Perceptions matter, but not nearly so much as action. It's what we do in life that counts. Certainly, it counts more than how we see or think about things. So let's get to work.

3:02Ryan Holiday: Five life-changing ideas from the ancient Stoics. Number one, from Marcus Reus, he says, the impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way, it comes the way. This is the idea that the obstacle is an opportunity. It's not in the way. It is the way. It's challenging you to do things better and differently. It's challenging you to become something different. Second one from Seneca, he says, he who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary. Your anxiety is self-induced suffering. It might happen. It might not happen. But feeling pain about it in advance, what is that doing for you?

3:39Ryan Holiday: Number three from Seneca, he says, the unexpected blow lands heaviest. It's better to be pleasantly surprised that something bad didn't happen than unpleasantly surprised that something bad did happen. Again, preparation is different than anxiety. Being ready for what life throws at you is essential. Number four, this is from Marcus Reels, he says your life is dyed by the color of your thoughts. If you see everything as awful, if you see everything as terrible, if you see yourself as awful and terrible, Well, you will be awful and terrible and you will only see awful and terrible things. We choose how we see things.

4:13Ryan Holiday: That's what he's saying when he says the obstacle is the way. So see the opportunity, see the good and get after it. Number five from Epictetus, he says, remember, it is impossible to learn that which you think you already know. Ego is the enemy. If you're a know-it-all, you're right. You cannot learn anything else. Be humble, be hungry, and you will get better. Five habits that make you weak, according to the Stoics. Number one, this is something that all fools have in common, Epictetus says, and that is procrastination. He said fools are always getting ready to start. They're always putting stuff off.

4:45Ryan Holiday: They say I'm going to do it in the morning. They say I'm going to do it tomorrow. They say I'm going to do it when things calm down, when I get older. But the truth is, they're never going to do it. Number two, this is from Marcus Reelus, complaining. Weak people complain. They get in little groups and they complain about other people. They complain about the way things are. Mark Sreus in meditation says, never be overheard complaining, not even to yourself. Number three, being easily offended. Epictetus says, remember when you are offended, you are complicit in taking offense. He says, events are objective, remarks are objective.

5:16Ryan Holiday: He says, it's not the things that people say that upset us. It's our opinion about those things. Stop taking things personally. Stop being so sensitive, develops in thick skin. Number four, running away from your problems. You need a change of soul, Seneca says, not a change of scenery. Wherever you go, there you are. You think you're running away from your problems, but you know what? You are bringing your problems with you because you are the problem. And then finally, you are not pushing yourself physically enough. We treat the body rigorously, Seneca said, so it's not disobedient to the mind.

5:48Ryan Holiday: We do hard things because hard things are good for us because hard things make us strong. Stoic strategies for dealing with assholes and jerks, which, by the way, existed in the ancient world. They exist today and they will always exist. It is a fact of life. If you are surprised, if you are frustrated, try to pause for a second. Stoicism is the pause and reflection. Seneca talks about how delay is the greatest remedy for anger. If you can pause, if you can take a beat before you react, you're going to react better. If you're surprised by it, it's your fault. Mark Sturilius says you should start each day telling yourself the kinds of people you're going to meet.

6:23Ryan Holiday: Difficult people, dishonest people, jealous people, angry people. It's going to happen. Don't be surprised by it. Don't take it personally. Five habits that are killing your productivity according to the Stoics. Number one, you're not waking up early enough. There's a great passage in Mark Sturilius' meditations where he's lying in bed and doesn't want to get up and he says, is this what you were put here to do? To huddle under the covers and stay warm. We're not put here for comfort. We're put here to do things. You got to get up and get after it. You got to own the morning to own the day. Number two, you're focusing on things that are outside your control and thus you are wasting time and energy.

6:59Ryan Holiday: This is the key to stoicism. There's some stuff that's up to us. There's some stuff that's not. And when we focus on things that are not up to us, other people's opinions, big macro things, things that will never change, then we are wasting time and energy. Number three, you are not saying no enough. We protect our property and our money, Seneca says, and then we just give out our time like we have an unlimited amount of it. We don't. And as Marcus really says, when you eliminate the inessential things, right, the things you should say no to, you get the double benefit of doing the essential things better and more productively.

7:32Ryan Holiday: Number four, you're not spending time with the right people. If you spend time with productive people, you will be more productive. If you spend time with lazy people, if you spend time with people who procrastinate, you yourself will procrastinate. If you live with a lame man, Epictetus says, you will learn how to live. And then finally, five, you are assuming you have unlimited time, right? Memento mori, the stoics say, you could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think. It is arrogant to put off till tomorrow what you could do today because you don't know you will get tomorrow.

8:08Ryan Holiday: Stop putting it off. Do it now.