Let These Make You Better | Bastrop Library Q&A

0:00You probably heard the headlines about all the different cuts to foreign aid and food benefits. This is having a profound impact on the world's poorest people and the world's poorest communities. But, you know, just hearing about that, that's not what stoicism is about. Stoicism is, to me, what you're going to do about it. And that's where GiveWell comes in. GiveWell is trusted by tens of thousands of donors each year because they provide free and independent research that helps you understand how to have a big impact. GiveWell has spent the last 18 years researching global health and poverty alleviation, and they direct funding to the highest impact opportunities.

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1:13To claim your match, go to GiveWell.org and pick Daily Stoic from the drop-down menu under podcast. That's how they know that you heard about GiveWell from the Daily Stoic and you'll get your donation matched. That's GiveWell.org, code the Daily Stoic to donate or find out more. I got an amazing night's sleep last night. One, because my six-year-old fell asleep in the car at like six o 'clock and he transferred him from the car seat to the bed and it stuck, which is just magic. So he's in bed way earlier than normal. But I sleep really well every night because I have a 8 Sleep Pod 5 Ultra, which is 8 Sleep's best product.

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2:43The best part is you still get 30 days to try it at home and return it if you don't like it, but I know you will. Trust me, your body will thank you for this investment in better sleep, shipping to many countries worldwide. See details at eightsleep.com slash dailystoic. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we read a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you in your everyday life. Well, on Thursdays, we not only read the daily meditation, but we answer some questions from listeners and fellow Stoics. We're trying to apply this philosophy just as you are. Some of these come from my talks.

3:19Some of these come from Zoom sessions that we do with Daily Stoic Life members or as part of the challenges. Some of them are from interactions I have on the street when there happened to be someone there recording. Thank you for listening, and we hope this is of use to you.

3:41Let these make you better. One of the oldest Roman traditions was the celebrations of the greats. Generations of Romans wrote and told stories of the great men and women of history, celebrating the things they did, the sacrifices they made, the virtues they embodied. Marcus Aurelius' philosophy teacher, Sextus, was the grandson or the nephew of Plutarch, perhaps the most widely read biographer of all time. His works on the Stoics of the imminent Greeks and Romans were popular not just in ancient Rome, but in Shakespeare's day, popular with the founding fathers. They're popular even today. We sell them in the bookstore.

4:17And Marcus himself, it looks like, kept his own version of this kind of book called The Deeds of the Ancient Greeks and Romans, alongside his more famous meditations, where he noted what he admired about his predecessors. Nothing is as encouraging, he would write in meditations, as when virtues are visibly embodied in the people around us, when we're practically showered with them. It's good to keep this in mind, he said. But what virtues did Marcus most often note down? What inspired him? It wasn't the conquests of Alexander. It wasn't the brilliance of Plato. It wasn't the speeches of Demosthenes.

4:53What Marcus took pains to note down over and over and over again were the things like the generosity of his mother, the way she seemed to even be unable to conceive of doing the wrong thing. He wrote of Antoninus' dedication to his duty and his altruism. Of a different Alexander, in this case a literary critic, he noticed how he was patient with people who made mistakes and how he always took the time to answer questions. From Sextus, Plutarch's relative, he recognized how he got along with everyone and was full of love. We could say unequivocally that Marcus Aurelius was a collector of stories regarding other people's goodness.

5:30He took the time to write these things down so he would remember them and be inspired by them, so he could model his life after them. These stories made him better, reminded him of what his most important job was, to be a good person and to work for the common good. He was choosing his cato, as Seneca advised, finding the models to measure himself against. And my new book, right thing right now is basically a collection of these kinds of stories. And you can pre-order, I would love if you did, by the way, just dailystoke.com slash justice. I talk about the model of Harry S. Truman, who was loyal to his friends, his colleagues, his fellow citizens, and taxpayers, even when it cost him politically.

6:08There's the model of Gandhi, whose commitment to a cause freed millions from oppression and violence. There's the model of Cato himself, who made a career out of purity, out of his refusal to give an inch in the face of pressure to compromise and deal, whose example was vaunted not only by all the other Stokes, but the founding fathers as well. These stories are there to inspire us and challenge us to say, why are you working so hard to be more successful, but not as hard to be more generous, more patient, more honest, or more loving? They're there to help you build your own little book like Marcus did of examples to draw on when you're tempted, when you feel stressed, or you face a terrible dilemma.

6:45Will we do the right thing? Will we do the selfless and amazing thing? Or will we do the easy thing, the self-interested thing, the heroic thing, or the dishonorable thing? These lives, these stories, these books, which were not easy to track down, but always wonderful to write, they can make the crucial difference in how we respond to life's obstacles and challenges. And look, because I would love for you to pre-order the book. It really helps authors to help get a book off the ground. I've got a bunch of awesome bonuses for you. You can get signed and numbered pages from the manuscript. You can have dinner with me.

7:18do a bunch of awesome stuff. I would love for you to do that. You can head over to dailystoic.com slash justice to grab that today. Really appreciate it. And we'll talk to you soon.

7:37Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another Thursday episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. I told you back in March, I did a little event at the Bastrop Public Library. Bastrop is the town where the Painted Porch is. It's the county where my ranch is. It's where I'm recording this right now. And so when the public library asked me if I might come do a little Q &A for a fundraiser they were doing to raise money for the library, I said, of course. It was a nice little chat. My kids were really excited to go, and then my son just couldn't keep it together. And it was an interesting little insight. He wanted to do something, but then he didn't have what we would call the self-command to be able to sit through it.

8:20And so he ended up going and playing outside. He didn't get in trouble or something, but it was clear he wanted to do something, but then he couldn't do something. And what I took from the experience was I learned a lot from that, watching this sort of out of the corner of my eyes, I'm trying to answer the questions and was watching my son sort of be in this little battle with two parts of himself. It's affected how my wife and I have sort of parented and talked about since. But that's, of course, not what I was talking about in the Q &A. People wanted to ask about books, of course. They wanted to talk about some of the writing influences on my life, some of my favorite books, and just how I think about things.

8:55So I'll give you that now. Here is me talking at the Bastrop Public Library, answering some questions about stoicism and reading. And next time I do a talk, I hope to see you there. I know I'm doing one in New York at the Barnes & Noble in Union Square on the 11th at 6 p.m. So I'm going to be doing a talk there, answering questions just like this about the new book. So if you want to come out to that, I will see you in New York City. I think you can get the info on their website. But without further ado, here's me talking books at the Bastrop Public Library.

9:41you've spoken about the philosophy of daily dying when your present gift of life comes to an end which i hope is a very long time from now yeah you're gonna jinx me i won't what do you hope will be said or written about i don't think that much about that it's not really something you control. I think someone told me once, legacy is not for you, which I think about, you know, part of the reason that we are often so motivated to achieve or accomplish or make stuff is we think we're like some little version of immortality. A psychologist called It's the denial of death. You know, if you just become rich enough or write enough things or produce some work of art, it's some way of surviving.

10:31I think the Stoics would say you're still dead. So, you know, being discovered 200 years after your death or still being in print, you know, doesn't mean anything to Alexander the Great that Alexandria is still named after him. No, he doesn't know. And this is something even, you know, in Marcus Aurelius' time that he's trying to remember himself, trying to remind himself of. And then the really humbling thing is like, even if you do really accomplish something, I mean, how many people remember like three vice presidents ago or even three presidents ago, you know, you get forgotten pretty quickly.

11:10So I just try to do good work that I'm proud of. And I try. It's not easy and it's been a journey for me, but I have tried to get to a place where more and more of the win of whatever it is that I'm doing is locked in before it even comes out. And so if how it does on the bestseller list or how many copies it sells or if people say I did a great job, whatever, obviously you want all that. But if that's what I am needing to justify the thing or to have made it all worth it, then basically what I've done is I've handed over my happiness or a sense of self to a thing that's unpredictable, you know.

11:55And so I've got, I think I've gotten to a place where I'm more and more content each time having gotten to do it. And then what I ultimately did, and then the other stuff is extra. You still care, but I feel like there used to be this tool that was called Novel Rank. And it was basically the most manipulative, addictive thing you could imagine creating for a writer. You would type in the ISBN for your book and it would show you its rank on every Amazon in every country and then every other site that sells books. And so you'd be like, you could just refresh it and just see. And I remember the day when it got shut down going like, I've just been given an incredible gift.

12:41You know, I used to check more like how it's doing. And I kind of use almost that as a metric. Like, I think early in my career, I looked to see how things were selling to see if I was doing good or not. And I think now I look at how often I'm looking to see if I'm doing good or not. And I don't look very much. And every once in a while, I'll get something like I'll be CC'd on an email or my agent will be like, hey, did you know this? And if it's good news, I'm like, thanks. And then if it's not good news, I'm like, I wish you hadn't told me. So I just try to think about it less. And the paradoxical thing about it, and I'm sure this sounds like nonsense unless you're in that position, but weirdly, the less I have cared about it and the less I have thought about it, the better they have done.

13:29And I don't think that's some magical intention thing. I think it's just instead of spending that energy hoping, I just spent it making better stuff. And then also my expectations are lower and I'm more easily pleased. OK. In your opinion, how important is teaching reading to children of what age? I would say very important. The most important thing. Yeah. I mean, if you're not trying to raise a reader, like, what are you doing? I don't know anyone who doesn't want their kid to read. There's some quote I like where it's like, it's almost a criminal offense to raise your kid in a house without books.

14:12And I totally agree with that. And, you know, my life has been shaped by books. I feel so grateful to have been like, I was just thinking about the other day, like, uh, talking to someone who was pretty young and I was just thinking about how many wonderful books they don't even know exist yet. Right. And the joy of getting to discover those books for the first time, what an incredible future they have ahead of them if they choose to do it. So, you know, books are just this, uh, I think Steven, was it Stephen King? He said books are uniquely portable magic. You know, it's just, it's an incredible, an incredible thing.

14:47And one of the things you really see when you read is just how influential books have been to the people that you like. You know, Marcus Aurelius' life is changed in his 20s when his philosophy teacher, Junius Rusticus, gives him a copy of Epictetus' lectures. And, you know, he's writing about it as an old man in meditations, like, you know, that he's so grateful that he loaned him this copy of this book. And then I have that same experience, you know, 2000 years later and, you know, many people in between and, and after we'll have that experience. It's just such a wonderful thing. So I just, I love books.

15:26I love any place there are books. I love any way to get books. And, and so far the kids seem like they, they love books. They have access to things that I didn't and in that like, you know, audio books are this wonderful thing now. And I try not to be a snob about about what how people consume books, because as like a physical book person who one of the reasons I don't use libraries is that I must write in books. And and you guys frown upon that for some strange reason. But so I'm I'm that way. But, you know, now I think something like 60 % of my sales are digital, either audio or ebook. And so, you know, whatever gets people reading is wonderful in my view.

16:13And, you know, I probably would have fallen in love with audio books if someone told me you could get the benefits of reading without reading. One of the things I like about planes is that it's like some of the only screen free time that I get, you know. No, it's only physical. Samantha's the same way. So the problem is when we travel, going there is fine, But it's usually the coming back because we've accumulated so many books during the trip. We've had to mail back books many times, but only physical for me. And I mean, I'm going through this now. I'm doing the fourth book in my Virtue series.

16:46And, you know, just the experience of being able to draw from my own library books that I read and took notes on 10 or 15 years ago and not having known what I would need them for. and then filling perfectly the thing like that. That's when Stephen King said that books are magic. That's a magical thing that I think, you know, the most dedicated readers get to experience. But it really is a magical thing when you have exactly what you need. It's like going back in time or it's like you flashed forward all these years in the future. You didn't know you would need that thing or that that passage that you read when you were 20 would matter to you, you know, a decade later or whatever.

17:32That's just my absolute favorite thing. Thank you for that. Would you say that the books that you write are geared only towards working professionals, adults? How do you feel about the current generation of young adults as far as like discipline is destiny path? One of the coolest things that happens in the bookstore is someone will come in and they're usually older than me and they'll be doing something. And then they'll say that their kids turned them onto my books. And I love that multi-generation. First off, I love anytime, I was just, I was in San Diego and I was talking to this driver and he was talking about his son had turned him onto all this weird music.

18:15And I was just, I love anytime, you know, a parent is open-minded enough to like learn about things from their kids. And I love that shared connection. I love it most when it's about books, you know, and so it's always cool that like their kid saw a YouTube video or a TikTok or something and read this book and then they made their dad or their mom read it. That's like my favorite thing. So I don't know who the books are for or not for. You try to make them for everyone, but then you also understand if you are for everyone, you're probably for no one. So it's just kind of weird thing. You kind of you're you're kind of always talking to yourself with this hope that there's a lot of you out there and you don't know.

18:54I mean, when I wrote The Obstacles Away, I definitely knew that there had been certain classical works that had crossed over, like in the business world, you know, whether it's Machiavelli or Sun Tzu. And I maybe I definitely was thinking that it would work in the business world. And it's funny, like for some reason, I don't know where they're categorized here, but most bookstores have my books in the business section just because that's where the obstacles way was for. It's called BISEC. That's how they categorize books. That's where it was categorized at first. And I think they just they try to keep them all together.

19:24So sometimes people go like I went to the philosophy section. They didn't have them. Probably more people shop in the business section than the philosophy section. And so, you know, it doesn't bother me, but you just hope it's for as many people as possible. Well, I do know that Chief Canales, who's the ROTC director at the high school, starts every class day with a daily stoic. Really? Oh, man. And he said that his students have become very self-sufficient, that sometimes he'll come in late because he's been in a meeting and that they've started things based on the stoic message that they got that day.

19:55So it's a cool thing. Well, my, so I did the Daily Stoke with Steve Hanselman, who is my longtime book agent. He sold my first book and I sort of like a father figure to me is a dear friend. And when I, so I'd done the obstacles away and I was writing Ego is the Enemy. And he said to me, you know, we should do, he said, you should do a book, a page a day of stoicism. And I said, what's a page a day book? I didn't even know that that was a thing. And he showed me some, he'd published like the Daily Drucker when he had been at Harper Collins. And so I was like, oh, this is cool. And I said, but I see there's only one problem.

20:31I don't speak Greek or Latin. How am I supposed to do these translations? And he said, oh, I'll do them. And I said, have you been holding out on me? You speak Greek and Latin? How did this just come up? So he did all those. And then he said, you know, I think it'll be your bestselling book. And I said, that sounds like something an agent would say. And I thought you were just saying I thought he was just being nice. And, you know, lo and behold, it's become this whole sort of sensation, which I know no one expected, because if my publisher had any inclination, they grievously screwed me over by the advance that they offered.

21:06So I think like nobody thought it would be a thing. You know, in retrospect, it's always clear, you know, oh, of course. But at the time, I think everyone was hoping, you know, for a modest reception. And it's become this this whole movement, which is really cool. Other than Robert Greene and Seneca Aurelius, who is who would you say has had the greatest influence on your personal life? As an author? Like an author? No, as Ryan. Oh, oh, my wife, probably, who, you know, it's funny. So I have my copy of Meditations. I bought mine on Amazon and Amazon Prime didn't exist. And I remember waiting for it to arrive.

21:48I remember I had to buy some other books because Prime didn't exist. And for you kids, you just have to spend$25 on Amazon for a giga-free shipping. And so I bought it and that book changed. You know, but then I took it off the shelf, you know, a couple of years ago and I thought it was my copy and I opened it and there was a receipt in it. And the receipt was from Borders in Riverside, California. And I was checking the date and I realized that this was like a week or two after my wife and I had gone on our first date. And I had just read the book and I had mentioned it and then she went and bought it.

22:20And so it's her copy. And we're still together all these years later with two kids in this bookstore together. So probably almost certainly her.

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