One Day Can Be A Whole Life | Ryan Holiday

0:00I'm recording this on a Monday, and Monday is our grocery store day in our family. I usually pick my kids up from school and we go over to Whole Foods, get all our groceries for the week. Although here very shortly, we're going to go over there to get our Thanksgiving turkey because they've got a bunch of great options. Turkeys start at$149 a pound if you have Prime with organic birds at$299 a pound. And they only carry no antibiotic ever turkeys that will bring quality to your table at a great price. Whole Foods has great everyday prices on all your Thanksgiving essentials, whether you celebrate with a massive family or just a few close friends.

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0:49Welcome to the weekend edition of the Daily Stoic Podcast. On Sundays, we take a deeper dive into these ancient topics with excerpts from the Stoic texts. lists, audio books that we like here or recommend here at Daily Stoic, and other long form wisdom that you can chew on on this relaxing weekend. We hope this helps shape your understanding of this philosophy, and most importantly, that you're able to apply it to your actual life. Thank you for listening.

1:27Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode of a Daily Stoic Sunday podcast. You are talking to a marked man. I don't mean marked in the Stoic sense, in that we are all marked for death. everyone born will die. I guess I am marked in that sense. I mean, marked in the sense that yesterday, if you have a dog, you know, that weird, horrifying sound of your dog about to throw up and you have to like get them out of your bed as fast as humanly possible. Well, that's what happened to us very late the other morning. And it was our oldest. He had crawled into bed with us, our son, and then was just not well.

2:14So he spent all day homesick. And then Sam woke up that way this morning. So we were supposed to record some Daily Dad weekend episodes. And that just got canceled. And then I was supposed to take my youngest, who was final day, out for a bike ride. We've been doing these laps. They open up the Circuit of America's Track on Tuesday for bike riders. So that's what I was going to do with him. And he had to go to the bathroom a few minutes before we left. And then, boom, I could just hear it from the other room. And then it was like, oh, and then there was one. And I was supposed to be meeting my son there as grandparents were taking him.

2:56My father-in-law, who's been doing the rides with us. I actually vividly had this feeling of like, well, I'm almost assuredly going to get this now. It's going to be brutal. I've now seen three cases of what it looks like, but I feel fine now. And so I can go have this lovely evening and then that's it for me. I know what my next 24 hours is like. There's a rather touching and haunting line in meditations where Marcus Aurelius is saying, you know, that your child is sick, but not that they will die of it. And this is a man who buried nine children. So it puts it in a very profound perspective when you realize that.

3:39But I think what he's saying is this thing that we all do as parents, which is we extrapolate, right? When I hear a cough or a sneeze or somebody throws up, if you have kids, especially young kids that are in school, you're just like, oh man, I know where this goes. It's like dominoes falling. And you know, you're just going to be out for a period of time. It's never like everyone gets it all at once, gets over it all at once. It's this staggered, disgusting thing. And usually by the end of it, somebody's sick with something else. And this is just your life for years and years. But I was kind of thinking about that and going, oh, you know what?

4:18No, that might happen. It might not happen, but right now I'm fine. Right now my son is over it and let's go have a lovely evening. We've been doing this every Tuesday that I've been in town and you can't quite figure it out. But instead of being grateful that we were getting to do it, I was kind of rushing him along trying to really get him to understand it. And I went into this one, I was thinking, you know, I'm not, I'm not going to be anything but encouraging. I'm not going to be anything but chill. I'm just going to enjoy this. And who knows, I might have to tap out. And I should think about how I would want someone to treat me.

4:55And as it happens, we had an amazing time. We did our fastest laps. He did two laps. Now, is this because I was encouraging and calm and in command of myself? Maybe. It could have been also that they were giving out free ice cream at turn nine. so he was motivated to do a second lap, but we just had a lovely time. He did great. I pushed him up the hills. You know, we have this Daily Dad thing, this idea of luckter at EMURGO. Let them struggle because they emerge stronger from it. And so I was thinking of that as I put my hand on his back, got off my bike and ran him up the very steep hill at the beginning of the racetrack.

5:34I was not letting him struggle, although I kind of was, but I was having a good time and he was having a good time and everyone else around us thought it was hilarious. Actually, some other guy got off his bike as I'm running my son up. So if I really pushed, like I really ran and I had my hand on the small of his back, he could keep pedaling and never actually have to stop. And then I could hold my bike on the other hand. Anyways, we passed this guy and he looks over at me. He goes, Hey, you're Ryan Holiday. I read the daily stoic. So I thought that was funny. And then my son said, why do people like your book so much?

6:06It's not even good. And I said, Hey man, I'm in the middle of pushing you up this hill. I'm not sure you want to be saying that we had an amazing time. Like, and as I got back, I was thinking about this idea of being a marked person, right? Even though having a stomach bug or a food poisoning, sometimes you feel like you're going to die. It's kind of a nice test. It reminds me of another stoic thing that Mark Shrelis talks about where he talks about, you know, you'll either die of this or you won't, right? That'll take care of the pain either way. The pain will either go away or you'll go away.

6:37I sometimes think about that when I'm, you know, hugging the toilet, but I was thinking, okay, let's say I was a marked man. Let's say this was my last day. Let's say I'd infected some new terrible virus and it was it for me. How would I think about how I spent today? And then I thought, I'd think very well of it. I'd think it went amazing. I got up early. I took my son to school, hung out at Starbucks before we got there. We listened to a great episode of the Creaking Out podcast, which he's excited about. And then we both were freaking out because, and this is going to be in the most recent reading list email.

7:16Recently, I played on my phone this New York Times article about this discovery at Pompeii. And as it happened, the room that they were talking about at Pompeii had a mural about the same story that we were listening to in Creaking Out. It's the story of the origin of the Golden Fleece, if you know Jason and the Argonauts. So we were excited. What are the chances? We're hanging out. We were at Starbucks. We shared a croissant. He wanted to watch the George Washington's dream episode of Saturday Night Live. We watched that and laughed our heads off. And I dropped him off at school and I ran 10 miles around Town Lake as the sun was coming up and the water was still and I was pushing myself physically.

8:01It was amazing. I just thought, what a fucking great morning, right? Of course, not so great for my wife who was, you know, not able to get out of bed this morning. But I got to the office. I wrote a little bit. I wrote a great daily stoic email based on some Bon Iver lyrics that I listened to on the run. Then I sketched out two daily stoic video ideas that I was excited about. And then I went downstairs to the studio and I recorded a talk. I gave, you know, all this controversy with the Navy. Still, I gave a talk to a different Navy command today about obstacles and how we use things as opportunities.

8:43And so that door wasn't totally shut.

8:52Thanks to Toyota Trucks for sponsoring this episode. When I bought my ranch in 2015 out here in Bastro County, I drove my car about halfway down the dirt road that we live on. Thought this isn't going to work. Stopped, parked it, walked the rest of the way home, borrowed my wife's car, drove in Austin and bought a truck. What I bought was a Toyota Tacoma. And this truck wasn't just transportation getting me to and from my house. It unlocked a whole different style of living for us, not just on the ranch, but in our little Texas towns. There were places I could go now that I couldn't go before, especially out here in the piney forests, through the fields and on the unpaved roads like the one that I lived in.

9:37We got to go deep into the hill country's wild beauty. We've driven all the way out to East Texas. We've driven it across the country. And by we, I mean not just my wife, but both my kids who I drove home from the hospital in that truck. Toyota trucks are built for those who understand that the best adventures happen when you're willing to veer off course. Because you never know when you'll end up on a Toyota adventure detour. And of course, this is stoicism, too, because every detour, every obstacle is an opportunity. But it's helpful if you can handle the difficulty inherent in that. If you've got the resilience and the right companion to make it wherever the road takes you.

10:16Discover your uncharted territory. Learn more at toyota.com slash trucks slash adventure dash detours.

10:29I got to talk to some wonderful civilians and naval officers in the Q &A. It went great. I gave a 30-minute talk from some loosely prepared notes, and I answered questions for 30 minutes. Then I interviewed someone for a job. We're hiring someone for Daily Stealick, and I might hire this person. I might not, but the conversation was great. It was good to meet this person. like sometimes job interviews are weird. It was like, I like this person and I hope they're successful and maybe there'll be a good member of the team. And then I had a staff meeting with everyone on the Daily Stoic team and we planned out some cool stuff we have coming up this summer.

11:05We're starting to gear up for the Wisdom Takes Work launch, which by the way, you can pre-order dailystoic.com slash pre-order. The sales are already great. So thank you to everyone who's supporting it. Got some awesome bonuses. I'm halfway through all the copies that I have to sign. I learned that at the staff meeting. It's been exhausting, but I'm taking my time doing it right, trying to personalize as many of them as possible. So if you want to grab one of those, again, dailystoic.com slash pre-order. Those definitely will run out. Then I recorded one of those video ideas I had. We did this Daily Stoic video on how to make hard right decisions.

11:40So that'll come out soon. I feel like I was really in my element on it. And then I called my wife and She was like, I am just not doing well. And our youngest, she's like, I'm just worried he's spending too much time on his iPad. And so I said, don't worry about it. I will be right home. My in-laws picked up my oldest from school. They took him to their house. So he hung out. He was having a great time with his grandparents. And then I got to go home and spend time in the middle of the day with my youngest, who just finished school. And we went in the pool. We played for an hour. Then we went upstairs and we played cowboys.

12:15and then we watched a Mr. Beast video that he was excited to show me about traveling in South America. So now he wants to go to South America. It was just lovely. I came downstairs, I made him dinner, I made myself dinner. And then, you know, he promptly threw all that dinner up and then I got to go to the track. I was telling my wife, she was like, I'm sorry, I blew up the plans. Like I was supposed to be on this call with you today. There was a bunch of stuff we were supposed to do. And I said, no, you don't understand. This day was amazing. As crazy as it was, this day was amazing. I got to spend time with our youngest in the middle of the day.

12:45Our oldest got to spend time with his grandparents. I got to spend time with them this morning. Seneca talks about how one day can be a whole life. And I think about what the boxes I checked off for the day, family time, quiet morning time. The moon was rising, was still up when we drove into school, the whole ride. We're looking at this enormous, bright, full moon. Then the sun was coming up the other direction. So it had some sort of morning stillness in nature. Then we got to laugh together. Then I got to push myself physically. I've been trying to do this 10-mile loop more often. I'm trying to ramp up my mileage.

13:23I got to write, which is what I love to do. I had time for that. Not as much as I would have liked, but I put words on the page. I shipped something. I worked on the business. I got to see our employees. I got to meet someone new. I got to talk to a thousand or so people, to put my impact out in the world with people whose job has a lot of impact on the world. Then I got to come home and just be a dad and have fun. Then I got to put into practice this other thing I've been trying to work on, which is try to be more encouraging, try not to rush. That was what I was saying in the other Daily Dad episode.

13:58Like, why am I rushing him to finish this thing? We're trying to spend time together. We're trying to have a good time together. And that what I've learned is that when I rush him, he doesn't go any faster. And when I don't rush him, he goes the same speed or faster. The only difference is the negative taste left in his mouth and my mouth. And so I really just got to do better than I did the week before, which is what we should be trying to do as parents, as aspiring stoics, as human beings. We should just be trying to get better, working on ourselves day to day, as Epictetus talked about, trying to make a little bit of progress, trying to make better choices.

14:36I got to have fun. I got to treat my son. He got the ice cream that he wanted. And then we sat and had tacos. I also got to ride. I had fun. It was cool. You get to see downtown Austin there in the distance. Oh, and then I forgot. I drive him home. It's sunset and it's beautiful. And my wife says, can you take the dog for a walk? I haven't got to do it today because obviously I've been sick. And I said, of course. And then I got to walk our puppy, the puppy we rescued out for walk, found out we've got an armadillo living in the front yard, saw a huge snake, the sun was coming down. I love to live here.

15:05And here I am now upstairs. I'm sleeping upstairs so I don't get sick. Hopefully, maybe I can dodge the bullet. That part's in my control, I guess. I can make some smart decisions. I can wash my hands, use hand sanitizer, etc. But I'm doing what Seneca calls the evening review. He says, after my wife has gone to bed, I put the day up for review. I ask myself, you know, where could I have done better? What did I learn? Where did I fall short? That's what I'm sitting here thinking about. I'm doing this in audio instead of in my journal because my journal's in the room, my son's sleeping. But the idea is taking a little time to reflect and to think and to celebrate the wins, look at the places you could make some improvements, see what you learned, and then try to do better.

15:50Seneca talked about closing the books of life each day. As I said, seeing the day as a full life, saying to yourself, I had an amazing day. That's what I'm working. That's my dream life today for the most part. It wasn't perfect. There were some things, but mostly a good day. I got that. I didn't leave really anything unfinished, anything undone. I certainly didn't leave anything unsaid. Now I go to bed and I think as Seneca did, that was a whole life. And if I wake up tomorrow, that's lucky. If I wake up tomorrow sick, still lucky, right? It's bonus. You're playing with house money. That's today's Sunday message.

16:31If you like some of these stoic inspired parenting thoughts, I do recommend that you check out the Daily Dad podcast. I'm proud of it. I wish more people would listen to it. We do a meditation every day of the week and then a sort of a deep dive in the weekend. And as I said, a lot of the episodes are me and Samantha talking. I'm recording this in lieu of Samantha and I talking because we had to reschedule what we had on the schedule. And then I'm going to go check on her and go to bed. I'll talk to you all tomorrow.

17:06Thanks so much for listening. If you could rate this podcast and leave a review on iTunes, that would mean so much to us and it would really help the show. We appreciate it. I'll see you next episode.

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