This Is Poverty That’s Your Fault | No Shame In Needing Help

0:00Ryan Holiday: Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world.

0:14Ryan Holiday: This is poverty that's your fault. There's a form of poverty that is not having enough, and this is a real and a tragic problem, a stroke of bad luck, and often a social injustice. And it's a shame the way that society looks down upon those who are struggling, as if it's always their fault, as if it says anything about them as a person. But there was another form of poverty that Seneca talked about, and in fact knew himself. And it was this form of poverty that was actually pathetic. It's the poverty of wanting too much. All Seneca had to do was look around Rome to see it. There's a famous story of a man in Nero's court who threw himself at the emperor's feet, crying that he was down to his last million.

0:58Ryan Holiday: My God, Nero replied, how can you bear it? And sadly, this is a form of poverty all too common in the first world, perhaps even in your social circles. People who make good money but spend it even better, whose appetites outpace even their enormous incomes. In many cases, their poverty is self-inflicted, the result of a lack of self-discipline, not so much of laziness, but of excess. And there are also people whose poverty comes merely by comparison, although they have quite a bit, compared to others, they only have a little and thus feel poor. And both these forms are not only pointless and irresponsible, but they are an insult to the people who actually are struggling.

1:38Ryan Holiday: They're an insult to the people who have the misfortune of not being born into money or not working in an industry where fortunes are more readily made. And it's an insult to philosophy, too, as Mark Sturelis reminds us, because there is so little actually needed for a good and a happy life. Poverty because of where you're born or what's happening in the world is tragic. Poverty because you are entitled and reckless and envious and insatiable, that too is tragic. Just the kind that doesn't deserve any sympathy.

2:15Ryan Holiday: You know, most businesses are asking themselves these days, how do we make AI work for us? There's a lot of possibilities. Guessing is risky. There's maybe a steep learning curve. But I think we all understand that sitting on the sidelines is not an option because you know your competitors are using it right now. Well, with NetSuite by Oracle, you can put AI to work today. NetSuite is the number one AI cloud ERP trusted by over 43 ,000 businesses. It's a unified suite that brings your financials, inventory, commerce, HR, and CRM into a single source of truth. From software and IT services to healthcare, equipment manufacturing, financial services, and many other great American industries, NetSuite delivers a customized solution for your businesses, and it's not some bolted-on tool.

3:05Ryan Holiday: It's AI built into the system that runs your business, whether you're a big one or a small one. If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get their free business guide, Demystifying AI at netsuite.com. That guide is free to you at netsuite.com. Hey, it's Ryan. I'm on the road right now doing talks all over the country. I love traveling. I love going to new places. the thing I don't like about it though is I don't get to sleep on my bed at home which I like not just because it's home but because I have an eight sleep on my bed I've had an eight sleep on my bed I don't know five years my I love it my wife loves it we love it because it cools the mattress it heats the mattress you can have different sides cool at different temperatures it's even how I wake up in the morning instead of an annoying alarm clock or that you know horrible sound on your phone it lightly buzzes you awake and then and And then when you're up, you want to turn it off, you just tap the mattress.

3:59Ryan Holiday: There's all sorts of awesome features in my Eight Sleep. It was worth every penny. The point is, I love my Eight Sleep and the Eight Sleep keeps getting better. Eight Sleep users report up to 32 % better sleep and up to 34 % better deep sleep. This is all stuff you love. You can use the code DailyStoic at EightSleep.com slash DailyStoic right now for up to$500 off. And this 4th of July sale ends on July 12th, so don't wait. And if you have an HSA or an FSA, some 8Sleep stuff qualifies for that as well. Through TrueMed and qualified customers save about 30 % on average. Check your eligibility at trumed.com slash 8Sleep before you buy.

4:42Ryan Holiday: TrueMed is for qualified customers. HSA and FSA tax savings may vary. No shame in needing help. This is the June 16th entry in the Daily Stoic. 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. It is fitting, I guess, today is my birthday, June 16th, that we are going to be quoting one of my absolute favorite quotes from Marcus Aurelius. All-time favorite quotes. Marcus Aurelius says, Don't be ashamed of needing help. You have a duty to fulfill, just like a soldier on the wall of battle. So what if you're injured and can't climb up without another soldier's help? So what? That's Marcus Aurelius' Meditations 7-7.

5:37You know what? I like this quote so much. I'm going to give you the Hayes one as well. What is that? It's a 7-7. So let me give you 7-7 from Hayes. Hayes says, don't be ashamed to need help like a soldier storming a wall you have a mission to accomplish. And if you've been wounded and need a comrade to pull you up, so what? Let's grab the Robin Waterfeld one too. See what he says about it. There's no shame in being helped because you've got to do the job you've been set, like a soldier storming a city wall. Suppose you had a limp and were unable to scale the battlements on your own, but could do so with someone's assistance.

6:19Right? So what? That's what he's saying. And the reason I love this quote so much, and actually let me get to the meditations first. No one ever said you were born with all the tools you'd need to solve every problem you'd face in life. In fact, as a newborn, you were practically helpless. Someone helped you then, and you came to understand that you could ask for help. It's how you knew that you were loved. Well, you are still loved, and you can ask for help from anyone. You don't have to face everything on your own. If you need help, comrade, just ask. Look, the idea here and why I love this quote so much is it flies in the face of this stereotype of the emotionless, robotic, superhuman stoic that cannot ask for aid, that cannot rely on anyone that is an island.

7:11You are not an island. That's what Mark Surreal is saying. No, you're part of a phalanx. You're part of a troop, a brigade, a battalion. And you're all in this together, protecting each other, helping each other. And in fact, to not ask for help, to just lay there and to give up is not just weak, but cowardly, right? You have to be able to ask for help. There's a great book. I've read it to my kids a million times called The Boy, the Fox, the Horse, and the Mole. We sell it at the Painted Porch. If you haven't read it, even as an adult. Promise you, you got to get this book. But anyways, there's a passage in the book.

7:45He says, asking for help isn't giving up. It's refusing to give up, right? Asking for help isn't weak. It's a sign of strength. You're not afraid of being seen as weak. You're committed. You're unbeatable, right? You will not go down without a fight and you're willing to do anything and everything to keep going, including asking for help. So I don't know what you're going through. I don't know what's going on in your life. I don't know what you're struggling with, but you should not be afraid to ask for help. You should ask for help. Asking for help is important. I talk to my wife about this sometimes, like we'll be at a store and she's just looking all over the place for the thing.

8:25And I go, there are people whose job it is to help you. And in fact, by going and asking that Home Depot employee to show you something there, that's like one box that they don't have to lift. You're giving them purpose and something to do, right? By asking for help, you are giving other people something. You are giving other people the opportunity to feel and do good. Think about it that way. Like when your friends ask for help, are you like, oh, this fucking guy? No, you're glad, right? When your siblings ask for help, like you enjoy the opportunity. So why would you think that other people would judge you or think critically of you or refuse you help?

9:05They wouldn't. So don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to show weakness or vulnerability. This is a good thing. And I hope that you do it. This could be therapy. This could be opening up to a spouse. This could be opening up to a parent, to a loved one, to a friend, could be to a total stranger, could be just asking for directions when you're lost. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It is not unstoic. And in fact, to persist in ignorance or error or uncertainty because you are afraid of looking foolish, well, that is to miss the point of Stoicism. As Epictetus says, if you want to improve, you have to be willing to be seen as foolish.

9:43I'm not saying you will look foolish by asking for help, but you have to get over that fear of what other people will think to ask for and get what you need. So please, please do it. And appreciate all of your support here at Daily Stoic. And I'm going to go have some fun on my birthday. So talk to you tomorrow.

10:07you