What Are You Fueling? | Don't Look For The Third Thing

0:00It's time for Cyber Monday, Dell Technologies biggest sale of the year. That's right, you'll find the lowest prices of the year on select Dell PCs like the Dell 16 Plus with Intel Core Ultra processors. And with built-in advanced AI features, it's the PC that helps you do more faster. From smarter multitasking to extended battery life, these PCs get the busy work done so you can focus on what matters most to you. Plus, you can earn Dell rewards and join many other benefits like free shipping, expert support, price match guarantee, and flexible financing options. They also have the biggest deals on accessories that pair perfectly with your Dell PC, improving the way you work, play, and connect.

0:38Whether you just got started holiday shopping or you're finishing up, these PCs and accessories make perfect gifts for everyone on your list. Shop now at dell.com slash deals and don't miss out on the best prices of the year. That's dell.com slash deals.

0:54I'm picking my kids up from school today and then doing our weekly routine, which is I take them over to Whole Foods. and we get all our groceries for the week. Then we have dinner. It's one of their favorite things to do. It's one of my favorite things to do. And then my wife loves it because she doesn't have to take care of it. This holiday season, whether you're a guest or hosting the big dinner Whole Foods Market has what you need to delight everyone at your table. They even have heat and eat sides from the prepared foods department. You can make Whole Foods your one-stop shop. Everything follows Whole Foods Market's strict ingredients standards so you know it'll be delicious and good for you.

1:28You can also order online for pickup and even delivery in select zip codes to skip the crowds. Shop everything you need at Whole Foods Market, your holiday headquarters.

1:40Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast. Each day we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient Stoics, illustrated with stories from history, current events, and literature to help you be better at what you do. and at the beginning of the week we try to do a deeper dive setting a kind of stoic intention for the week something to meditate on something to think on something to leave you with to journal about whatever it is you happen to be doing so let's get into it

2:20What are you fueling? In the early days of the pandemic, many of us picked up new hobbies and habits. We started taking walks. We started cooking for ourselves. Some of us stopped drinking. Some of us started doing 50 push-ups when we woke up. Some of us stopped watching the news or quit Twitter. As we've talked about recently, though, that time feels very far away. Some of those habits and practices, certainly the energy we had towards self-improvement, has slowed down. The last few years were also incredibly stressful and straining. What we thought would go on for a few months dragged on, not unlike the plague of Marcus Aurelius' time, stretching everyone's ability to remain disciplined and focused.

3:01As a result, many of us picked up new bad habits, fell back into old ways. Maybe we started drinking. Maybe that's when our Twitter usage really skyrocketed. We got used to delivery, fast food especially. We stopped going to the gym. And now, all these months later, we're not exactly where we'd like to be, not who we'd like to be. There's never a bad time to what they call a fearless moral inventory in recovery, an honest look at yourself, your habits, your practices. Then ask yourself, which of these are working for me and which aren't? What did I pick up over the last couple years that I need to let go of?

3:38What did I start doing over the last couple years that really seems to be working and how can I recommit to that? One of the most popular quotes in the Daily Stoic is from Epictetus about fueling the habit bonfire. Every habit and capability is confirmed and grows in its corresponding actions, he says, walking by walking, running by running. Therefore, he says, if you want to do something, make a habit of it. If you don't want to do that, don't, but make a habit of something else instead. And so it must go for us. Look at who you are. Look at what you're fueling. Decide what you're going to continue and get to work on what you're going to stop.

4:20The idea is that good habits make success possible. And whether you're trying to get a promotion or meet new people or look and feel healthy, good habits is where it begins. And that's actually one of my favorite and earliest of the Daily Stoic challenges we built out, Habits for Success, Habits for Happiness. It's a six-week course, teach you a great slate of good habits to help you achieve success and happiness in your life. It's actually 50 bucks off right now. You can head over to dailystoic.com slash habits to check out, to sign up for it. And remember, actually, that if you sign up for Daily Stoic Life at dailystoiclife.com, you get this challenge.

4:56We've got another couple ones coming in the next few months. You get all the challenges for free. So sign up there at Daily Stoic Life or just grab the Habits for Success Habits for Happiness Challenge at dailystoke.com slash habits.

5:13You know, you don't have to let big wireless and your overpriced phone bill suck the joy out of the holidays this year. Because right now, all of Mint Mobile's unlimited plans are 50 % off. You can get three, six, and 12 months of unlimited premium wireless for 15 bucks a month. It's their best deal of the year, and it makes it really easy for you to give your expensive wireless bill the Scrooge treatment. All Mint plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text at the nation's largest 5G network. Plus, you can bring your current phone and number over to Mint. Actually, we just signed up for a Mint mobile plan to use the social media phone here at the office, and we didn't notice any kind of change in the quality of service or network or any of that, just a whole bunch of savings.

5:55Turn your expensive wireless present into a huge wireless savings feature by switching to Mint. Shop Mint Unlimited plans at mintmobile.com slash six. That's mintmobile.com slash six. Limited time offer upfront payment of$45 for three months, $90 for six months, or$180 for 12 months. Plans required,$12 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 35 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage very easy. Mintmobile.com.

6:23Don't look for the third thing. The Stoics teach us that doing well is its own reward. To do the right thing, to see someone helped by it, this is enough. To go around expecting thanks, what Marcus Aurelius describes as the third thing, that is to miss the point. It's being greedy. Keeping score not only misses the purposes of being good, it's foolish. Sets you up for disappointment. If you're going to do some accounting, look at it from the other direction. How many people have helped us? What do we owe them in return? Think about clearing some debts this week and consider forgetting any notion of others owing you.

7:04And we've got two quotes from Marcus to think about today. One person on doing well by others immediately accounts the expected favor in return. Another is not so quick, but still considers the person a debtor and knows the favor. A third kind of person acts as if not conscious of the deed, rather like a vine producing a cluster of grapes without making further demands, like a horse after its race, or a dog after its walk, or a bee after making its honey. Such a person, having done a good deed, won't go shouting from rooftops, but simply moves on to the next deed, just like the vine produces another bunch of grapes in the right season.

7:41It's Marcus Aurelius' Meditations 5.6. That's such a beautiful image. Plants produce fruit. They don't even reap the benefits of that fruit. They just do it because that's their nature. That's their job. And then we have one more. When you've done well and another has benefited by it, why, like a fool, do you look for the third thing on top? Credit for the good deed or favor in return. That's Marcus Aurelius' meditations, 7-7-3. Anytime Marcus is repeating himself in meditation, I think it's illustrative. And I think he is doing what we all do, right? He did something good. then he was disappointed that it either wasn't recognized or he was frustrated that it was actually interpreted incorrectly.

8:26Or maybe he saw, like, imagine you're Marcus Aurelius. You're trying not to be corrupted by power. You've seen what your horrible predecessors have done and you're being attacked for it. You know, he says that to be a good king, he said the rewards of being a leader is to do good things and earn a bad reputation. You still get attacked. And then not only that, you see, as we're seeing now politically, right, you see one side attempting to be bipartisan and the other side not being bipartisan, in fact, taking advantage of even the impulse to be bipartisan, right? So if you're going through life looking for this third thing, and I do this all the time myself, if you're going through life looking for that third thing, you're going to be disappointed all the time.

9:12And you're going to question why you were doing the good thing. Because if you're doing it in this quid pro quo, one hand washes the other, you do a thing, they do a thing, you start to go, this is a sucker's payoff. I'm doing the right thing and I'm not getting anything for it. I'm going to stop doing the right thing. No, the Stoics want you to think, no, the right thing is your job. You do the right thing because it produces pleasure for you. You do the right thing because that's what you were put here on this planet to do. You do the right thing because it's the right thing. Everything else is extra.

9:46I've talked about this a bunch of times, but it's just sort of like a top of mind example because I was just doing it this morning. We pick up trash on this walk that we go on in the mornings. And, you know, I remember there was so much trash, I think I was telling you this, there's so much trash the other day that we had to get the ATV out and go out and pick it. We pick up this huge trash bag full of trash and the next morning i go for a walk and you know i'm i somewhat expect okay people threw some trash out of their car on the next day or whatever it's actually worse than that someone threw a fucking dead dog on the side of my road right so i can get upset by this i can get disgusted by this or i can just deal with it right i i say my job is i have given myself this job of keeping this thing clean because it gives me pleasure knowing I took this trash out of the environment.

10:42It's not clogging up river streams. It's not getting in, you know, any animals' bellies. I'm doing that because I think it's the right thing to do. I don't want to be thanked. I don't want credit for it. I don't need everyone to follow suit. I'm just going to do it. But I have to remind myself, again, no one's on the same page as you. There's still going to be some crazy person discarding dead animal cars. I don't even want to know why this is happening. It's insane. It's actually been a thing that's happened since I've lived out in the country. I don't know if people, they can't be hitting them with their cars because like, I mean, you would just leave it there.

11:22I don't know if there's a dog fighting ring out here or if it's a cultural thing. I don't, I don't, it's crazy. And so I just, I had, I called a different neighbor and I said, hey, can you get your tractor, scoop this thing up, dispose of it, and we'll move on, go about our days, and try to keep doing the right thing and not let the bastards bring us down. Don't look for the third thing. Do the right thing because it's the right thing. That's this week's lesson. And as we said in the little meditations, forgive the debts that others owe you and be very diligent about paying your debts to all the people who have selflessly done good things for you in this world over the years.

12:19My family owns a 2023 Toyota 4Runner, and honestly, it's my favorite vehicle that I've ever owned. Around town, it's smooth and reliable, but where it really shines is on our trips into the backcountry. We've taken it on backpacking adventures to Colorado and New Mexico, loaded it up with gear, and never had to think twice about whether it could handle the terrain. That's what Toyota trucks are built for. We've been on a lot of time, and we've been on a lot of time. off-road confidence, rugged durability, and the freedom to explore. Toyota has a long history with the outdoor community, and they're committed to helping more people get out there and experience what nature has to offer.

12:49From remote trails to scenic byways, Toyota Trucks empowers you to take the detour, roam freely, and discover places that still feel wild and untouched. And they're not just making great trucks, they're working to expand access to adventure so more people can connect with the outdoors and pass that passion on to the next generation. Discover your uncharted territory. Learn more at toyota.com slash trucks slash adventure dash detours. That's toyota.com slash trucks slash adventure dash detours. Look, ads are annoying. They are to be avoided if at all possible. I understand as a content creator why they need to exist.

13:26That's why I don't begrudge them when they appear on the shows that I listen to. But again, as a person who has to pay a podcast producer and has to pay for equipment and for the studio and the building that the studio is in, it's a lot to keep something like The Daily Stoic going. So if you want to support a show but not listen to ads, well, we have partnered with Supercast to bring you a ad-free version of Daily Stoic. We're calling it Daily Stoic Premium. And with Premium, you can listen to every episode of The Daily Stoic Podcast completely ad free. No interruptions, just the ideas, just the messages, just the conversations you came here for.

14:09And you can also get early access to episodes before they're available to the public. And we're going to have a bunch of exclusive bonus content and extended interviews in there just for Daily Stoic Premium members as well. If you want to remove distractions, go deeper into stoicism and support the work we do here. Well, it takes less than a minute to sign up for Daily Stoic Premium, and we are offering a limited time discount of 20 % off your first year. Just go to dailystoic.com slash premium to sign up right now or click the link in the show descriptions to make those ads go away.