When You Don’t Like What You See | Looking Out For Each Other

0:00It's time for Cyber Monday, Dell Technologies biggest sale of the year. That's right, you'll find the lowest prices of the year on select Dell PCs like the Dell 16 Plus with Intel Core Ultra processors. And with built-in advanced AI features, it's the PC that helps you do more faster. From smarter multitasking to extended battery life, these PCs get the busy work done so you can focus on what matters most to you. Plus, you can earn Dell rewards and join many other benefits like free shipping, expert support, price match guarantee, and flexible financing options. They also have the biggest deals on accessories that pair perfectly with your Dell PC, improving the way you work, play, and connect.

0:38Whether you just got started holiday shopping or finishing up, these PCs and accessories make perfect gifts for everyone on your list. Shop now at Dell.com slash deals and don't miss out on the best prices of the year. That's Dell.com slash deals.

0:54You know, you don't have to let big wireless and your overpriced phone bill suck the joy out of the holidays this year. because right now all of Mint Mobile's unlimited plans are 50 % off. You can get three, six, and 12 months of unlimited premium wireless for$15 a month. It's their best deal of the year, and it makes it really easy for you to give your expensive wireless bill the Scrooge treatment. All Mint plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text at the nation's largest 5G network. Plus, you can bring your current phone and number over to Mint. Actually, we just signed up for a Mint Mobile plan to use the social media phone here at the office and we didn't notice any kind of change in the quality of service or network or any of that just a whole bunch of savings turn your expensive wireless present into a huge wireless savings feature by switching to mint shop mint unlimited plans at mintmobile.com slash six that's mintmobile.com slash six limited time offer upfront payment of 45 for three months 90 for six months or 180 for 12 months plans required 12 per month equivalent taxes and fees extra initial plan term only greater than 35 gigabytes may slow when network is busy capable device required.

1:57Availability, speed, and coverage very easy at MintMobile.com.

2:03Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast. On Friday, we do double duty, not just reading our daily meditation, but also reading a passage from the Daily Stoic, my book, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living, which I wrote with my wonderful collaborator, translator, and literary agent, Stephen Hanselman. So today, we'll give you a quick meditation from the Stoics. with some analysis from me, and then we'll send you out into the world to turn these words into works.

2:40When you don't like what you see. Marcus Aurelius, like all of us, would catch glimpses of himself in the mirror. As we talked about recently, Marcus would have checked himself in the mirror in the morning. He would have seen his reflection as he passed through a hallway from one room to the next? Did he like what he saw? We can guess from meditations that the answer to this was not always yes. Marcus was not a perfect man. He had a temper. He had temptations. There must have been times when he would have related to that Bruce Springsteen verse. We can all relate to this, actually, because few of us are fully actualized.

3:14Few of us are totally on track. Few of us are living according to the philosophy that we purport to believe. Does that mean that we should feel like crap that we should curse the person looking back at us in the mirror? No, not at all. In fact, Marcus gives himself a reminder that we can all use. Celebrate behaving like a human, he writes. Pick yourself back up when you fail. Try to take that step forward and catch yourself before taking any more steps backwards. Be a good friend to yourself, as Seneca said, which means both encouragement and accountability. Keep going. Keep working. Make progress when and where you can.

3:57Looking out for each other. This is the October 6th entry in the Daily Stoic. It is in keeping with nature to show our friends affection and to celebrate their advancement as if it was our own. For if we don't do this, virtue, which is strengthened only by exercising our perceptions, will no longer endure in us. Seneca's Moral Letters 109. watching other people succeed is one of the toughest things to do especially when we are not doing well ourselves and our hunter-gatherer minds we suspect that life is a zero-sum game that for someone to have more means that we might end up with less but like all parts of philosophy empathy and selflessness are a matter of practice as seneca observed it's possible to learn to rejoice in all their successes and be moved by their very failure this is what a virtuous person does.

4:50They teach themselves to actively cheer for other people, even in cases where it might come, might have come at their own expense to put aside jealousy and possessiveness. You can do that too. I was actually just talking to someone I work with. We were talking about the sort of pettiness of writers groups. And I said, they're all kind of frenemies, right? They see it as a zero-sum game. And I said, there's a joke I heard about academia that the reason the knives are so sharp is because the pie is so small. If you think of the pie as finite, if you think about life as zero sum, it inherently makes everyone your enemy, right?

5:33It means you're having to get what's yours, which means you're having to get it from them or get it before them, as opposed to seeing it how it actually is, how the Stoics want us to see it, which is a collective, a whole, an infinite game. I've had to do work, especially as a competitive person, to understand that the success of another writer has nothing to do with me. It doesn't come at my expense. It helps me. More people reading is good, right? More people talking about Stoicism is good. I'm sure there are people that see my, the success of my books as being somehow limiting to them or unfair or undeserved.

6:14Meanwhile, they're benefiting from the rising tide that's lifting all the boats, right? You got to think about how you look at it. You have to practice this. Robert Greene, in his book, The Laws of Human Nature, he talks about the difference between schadenfreude, like wishing bad things on other people, and mittenfroid, probably pronouncing these horribly wrong uh this is also a day we broke out in the daily laws which i was lucky enough to work on if you haven't read you should we carry it in the painted porch i think we even have some signed copies anyways uh again i don't that there's another awesome daily laws daily book out there like i remember robert going is that going to be a problem with your book and i was like no this is amazing more people reading something every day is good for the world and probably good for the category too anyways there's also a section of this in in the daily laws But mittenfroid is the active wishing of success or goodwill towards people.

7:13I heard love once defined as willing the good of the other, like wanting good for the other, wishing them happiness, wishing them success. As an author wishing you the biggest first week sales you could possibly have. I want that for you. It doesn't come at my expense. and even if it did, who am I to root against you? I'm going to do my best. I'm going to put out my best work. I'm going to go into this already knowing that I'm playing with house money, that I've succeeded beyond my wildest dreams and expectations, that I've written something I'm proud of, that I think deserves to be read, that I have faith in the long term will do what it needs to do.

7:54So there's no pettiness in me. There's no need for you to do poorly. I just wish everyone success. Are there moments where I get caught with a pang of jealousy where I might say something that, you know, if I played it back to myself later, I'd be like, oh, that's not a good look? Of course, this is something you have to work on. It's like ego. In fact, it's rooted in ego. So it's something you have to constantly sweep away and push away. But it gets you to a place where you are happier and you are better. It's not just by wishing other people good, you're making them happy. Theodore Roosevelt is right.

8:30Comparison is the thief of joy. Joseph Epstein is right when he said that of all the deadly sins, envy is the only one that's no fun. Living that way sucks. It punishes you most of all. Meanwhile, not being petty, not wanting to hold other people back, being happy, generally celebrating all the good things that are happening to other people and not seeing them as somehow bad for you, well, this is a much happier and much more wonderful way to live. And I wish that for you. I wish that for you. But what I control is whether I try to live and act that way myself. Speaking of which, Discipline is Destiny, the Power of Self-Control.

9:09If you haven't picked it up, you can pick it up at dailystoic.com slash pre-order. We're honoring the pre-order bonuses, signed copies, etc. I hope you can check that out. Or you can pick it up anywhere books are sold, including there's an audiobook version, which I read. There's an ebook version, physical versions everywhere. Support your local bookstores. Come get it at the Painted Porch if you're in Central Texas. But otherwise, thank you all. And I hope you enjoy the book. I'm really, really proud of it.

9:50We'll be right back.

10:04off-road confidence, rugged durability, and the freedom to explore. Toyota has a long history with the outdoor community, and they're committed to helping more people get out there and experience what nature has to offer. From remote trails to scenic byways, Toyota Trucks empowers you to take the detour, roam freely, and discover places that still feel wild and untouched. And they're not just making great trucks, they're working to expand access to adventure so more people can connect with the outdoors and pass that passion on to the next generation. Discover your uncharted territory. Learn more at toyota.com slash trucks slash adventure dash detours.

10:36That's toyota.com slash trucks slash adventure dash detours. Look, ads are annoying. They are to be avoided, if at all possible. I understand as a content creator why they need to exist. That's why I don't begrudge them when they appear on the shows that I listen to. But again, as a person who has to pay a podcast producer and has to pay for equipment and for the studio and the building that the studio is in. It's a lot to keep something like the Daily Stoic going. So if you want to support a show but not listen to ads, well, we have partnered with Supercast to bring you a ad free version of Daily Stoic.

11:21We're calling it Daily Stoic Premium. And with Premium, you can listen to every episode of the Daily Stoic podcast completely ad-free, no interruptions, just the ideas, just the messages, just the conversations you came here for. And you can also get early access to episodes before they're available to the public. And we're going to have a bunch of exclusive bonus content and extended interviews in there just for Daily Stoic premium members as well. If you want to remove distractions, go deeper into stoicism and support the work we do here? Well, it takes less than a minute to sign up for Daily Stoic Premium, and we are offering a limited time discount of 20 % off your first year.

11:59Just go to dailystoic.com slash premium to sign up right now or click the link in the show descriptions to make those ads go away.