You Can Have This Joy | The Stoic Art Of Stillness (12 Keys)

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2:34On Tuesdays, we take a closer look at these Stoic ideas, how we can apply them in our actual lives. Thanks for listening, and I hope you enjoy.

2:49You can have this joy. They're depressing. they're cynical, they're negative. It's why stoicism is a misguided philosophy, we're told, why it died out, because there was no room for happiness or joy or laughter in it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and if in their opinion that's what stoicism is, God bless them. But the facts just don't support it. There was literally a stoic, Chrysippus, who laughed so hard that he died, okay? What more do you need to know? Sure, Marx realist opens meditations with some observations about how annoying and obnoxious people are, but his personal letters to Fronto are filled with affection and wit.

3:24He even tells of a prank that he pulled. The down notes in meditations are equally matched by reveries for the beauty of the natural world and gratitude for the gifts that life has given him. And then there's Seneca, a stoic who seemed to have the most fun of all of them. He entertained, he loved the theater, he loved nature, he loved being active. Sure, he understood the darkness and unpredictability of life. He buried a child, was unfairly exiled. He witnessed Nero's evil. But it was from this that he came to fully understand how and where to find joy. Snatch the pleasures your children bring, he wrote.

3:59Let your children in turn find delight in you and drain joy to the dregs without delay. No promise has been given you for this night. No, I've offered too long a respite, he said. No promise has been given even for this hour. You too can be a joyful stoic. In fact, you must be. It's part of the whole deal. My family owns a 2023 Toyota 4Runner and honestly, it's my favorite vehicle that I've ever owned. Around town, it's smooth and reliable, but where it really shines is on our trips into the backcountry. We've taken it on backpacking adventures to Colorado and New Mexico, loaded up with gear, and never had to think twice about whether it could handle the terrain.

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5:08Learn more at toyota.com slash trucks slash adventure dash detours. That's toyota.com slash trucks slash adventure dash detours. This moment is enough. I don't need to be anywhere. I don't need to do anything. I don't need to become anything other than I am at this very moment, at this very place that I am in this very instant. That's it. It's enough.

5:35stillness it seems easy it seems like the absence of action or discipline but it really requires an immense amount of discipline and self-control that's what seneca was practicing there in that busy noisy environment trying to focus in fact seneca said there is no greatness without stillness someone who's successful but they're frenzied and busy and chaotic nobody wants to be that person in fact that's a horrible person to be it's what marcus aurelius had to practice amidst the stresses and distractions of his job. And it's what we all have to practice in the chaos and busyness of modern life.

6:06I'm Ryan Holiday. I've written books about stoic philosophy. I've been lucky enough to speak about it to the NBA and the NFL. And one of those books I wrote is called Stillness is the Key. And it's about how stillness unlocks our potential, not just for professional success, but for personal happiness and contentment. And that's what we're gonna talk about in today's episode. Stoic secrets, stoic strategies about achieving this stillness, which unlocks so much of what we need in life. Nietzsche said that only ideas had while walking have any worth. I don't know if that's strictly true, but I do know I've had a lot of really good ideas walking.

6:41And that's just like an extra benefit. I mean, you're outside, you're active. Ideally, you're not on the phone. Maybe you're with people that you care about. You're present. Doing what human beings were evolved to do over thousands and thousands of years. So I try not to let a single day go by without walking. It rests. It relaxes the mind. It centers me. I try to start the day with the walk. I try to end the day with the walk. The mind must be given over to relaxation to take wandering walks. It's part of the philosophical process. It's part of my daily routine. It should be part of your daily routine too.

7:16Cable television news is like the worst thing you could possibly put in your body. I'd rather drink soda or eat at McDonald's. You think about what the news is designed to do. It's designed not to inform you because if it informed you, you wouldn't need to watch any more news, right? The purpose of the news is to make you continue watching the news. People go, oh, but isn't your civic duty to be informed? Yes, your civic duty is to be informed. I would argue that the best way to be informed is to read books. I happen to be partial to books. News is typically worth what you pay for it, which is usually nothing.

7:49The number one predictor of social spread is how angry something makes you. So should it surprise us that whether you're a liberal or a conservative, the news seems to constantly be showing how outrageous the world is, right? Of course, it's not a coincidence. This is their business model. I'm actually not sure how bad things actually are right now and how much of this is a reflection of what the medium needs to provide for us so we continue to consume it. I would urge you to think if you are someone who reads a lot of news, who thinks, oh, I'm being informed, this is my civic duty. How many decisions do you actually make on this information?

8:20You already know who you're probably going to vote for. You already know most of your stands on the issue. What you're really doing is seeing where this is going to go. Here's a funny fact. It's going to go where it's going to go. You can just check in at the end. And so I try to consume as little news as possible. People ask how, again, how are you so productive? How do you read so many books? I don't watch the news, right? I don't spend time doing this. And if I'm going to spend the news watching mindless entertainment, I'm going to watch something that's enjoyably entertaining, not something that tells me that the world is on fire.

8:49I have found like I've got to get to the office early before I get sucked into other stuff. I've got to have quiet time alone. If I'm trying to write in four in the evening, if I'm trying to write in a busy coffee shop, I'm trying to write in my office is a mess or disaster. I can't be in the headspace that I need to be to do what I need to do. We make these choices that facilitate the stillness that we need to access to perform at a peak or an elite level. I'm sure many of you read Anne Frank's diary when you were in school. You've heard of it. She has this great line in her diary that I think about.

9:22She says, paper is more patient than people. Instead of vomiting your thoughts on your employees, on your friends, on the driver in front of you who's taking forever, put it on the page. These are some of Kennedy's doodles during the Cuban Missile Crisis. He would write notes to himself, thoughts, but you can see his sort of brainstorming, working out of the stressful situation he's in. I was in Milan a few years ago and I got to see some of Da Vinci's journals just as a creativity exercise, right? The journaling, the working, the sketching out. This is what creates the work, right? You can't have the Last Supper without the journals.

9:55The page is forgiving and patient. It keeps secrets. It doesn't care if you're contradicting yourself. It doesn't care if you're being a baby. It doesn't care if you're whining. Just put it down on the page. The page will help. I love the idea of having distance between you and your thoughts. Part of the reasons we're worked up and anxious and stressed is that we're trapped in our heads with all this stuff. And you get it out and you see it from a distance and you go, I don't even agree with my own thoughts here. I don't even like this. I'm not going to choose to carry this around. So putting it down on the page is just really important.

10:27And this is what journaling can help us do. So the idea of exploring, keeping a commonplace book, a place you collect ideas, you work out your thoughts. This is a really important exercise. The Stoics speak of this idea of the inner citadel, this sort of part inside yourself that can't be touched by externals. Good news, bad news, good fortune, misfortune. Marcus Aurelius writes that stuff cannot touch the soul. And I think that's what we see despite all the things that we know happened to Marcus in his life. All the good fortune that he did not meet with, all the misfortune that he did not deserve.

11:00Nothing touches the inner goodness inside him. That's what meditation shows. It shows that despite the filth, the dust, the stress of life, what remains is the goodness. He keeps that pure bubbling up always. When you watch the greats, when you see the Jordan, the Tom Brady, the great politicians, the great actors, you see a certain level of calmness, too. That kind of changed everything for me. To me, being present is being extremely calm. Yes. It's Bill Belichick right there. That's why I think he's the best coach because of his ability to stay calm, no matter what. Big win, he'll smile a little bit and get happy, but a big loss, he got our butts kicked.

11:40It's almost the same. A lot of people probably don't like that. Someone like an emotional coach, there was a guy named Rex Ryan, who's a hell of a coach. Very up and down emotional. And then you get a team like that and you get your family like that, whether you're the head of the household. Like it's important with your kids, with your wife, with your family, with your business, with whatever it is, just stay that level calm. Yeah, like an even keel. Everything begins with that level of calm. Yeah, I mean, my word for that is stillness. And the idea is like, when I think about all the best moments of my life, whether it's like performance, whether it's happiness, like when I'm like, this was awesome.

12:13I wasn't at an 11. I was at like five. Do you know what I mean? Like you'd calm things down. You were present. You were focused. You were still. And I think the tension though, is like to be great at whatever it is you do, you also have to have an intensity that you have to really want it. and you have to be aggressive and ambitious, invested. The default is you care a ton and then you have to figure out how to ratchet that down because that intensity will make you not as good as you could be. You'll make emotional decisions. You'll take things too seriously. Obviously, Bill Belichick loves football and he is intensely driven to win.

12:47So he has to work that calmness has to sit on top. Everything you talked about, all the intensity, the putting the hours in the presence, everything. And then at that last stage, before you go out on the stage, The last thing to remember is the calmness. It still is. When you're watching the news, when you're freaking out about what's happening in the world, it's because you're looking at it up close. You think all the things that you're doing are important. You think what you're worried about is important, but it's puny. And when we zoom out a little bit, we finally get some perspective. We get some clarity.

13:17We realize how exaggerated, what a preposterous sense of our own proportions we have. Let me show you something. Ants. These are ants on my forum. Marcus Reulis talks about how even armies, nations, are just like little ants fighting over scraps of land. So whatever you're focused on, whatever you're worried about, whatever you're convinced is of the utmost importance, I promise you, if you just zoom out a little bit, you see it from the 10 ,000-foot view, if you see it out of the window of an airplane, it will put it in its proper perspective, and it will remind you that you're not nearly as important, things aren't nearly as dire or significant as you think.

13:52Just relax. You can work your way through them. I try to remind myself constantly that this moment is enough. I don't need to be anywhere. I don't need to do anything. I don't need to become anything other than I am at this very moment in time, at this very place that I am in this very instant. That's it. It's enough. The Stoics talk about poverty being not just a thing about your finances, but about needing, desiring, wishing, hoping, fearing that you are anything but what you are at this very instant. To become present, to lock in. And that's the key to everything to me. That's what stillness is about.

14:27And that's really what happiness is too. There's three things I think people should do every day. These are really simple things. I think they make every day a win. I think they should journal. It takes some time to write in a journal, get your thoughts on paper from your mind. I think you should go for a walk. Quiet time where you do nothing. You're just walking around. In nature, you're outside. Do a phone call on the walk. If you don't have time to just go for a walk, go outside, experience nature, have this sort of movement through stillness. Even if I live in a city? Even if you live in the city, take a walk around a parking lot, look at the ground, you know?

14:56And the last one seems the same as walking, but it's different. Have some sort of strenuous exercise that you do. If you take care of your body, your mind and your spirit will be better. You'll have ideas. I love swimming because there's no screens. You can't hear anything and you're staring down. You can have the shittiest day at the office. You could get the worst sales report, but you lifted a PR on your deadlift. You just had a really good run. You had like 30 minutes of winning. Give yourself that every day. I'm curious how guitar, music, language, reading, all the other things that you did, how did that make you a better basketball player?

15:30And how is that sort of informed even now when you think about with your kids? Yeah. I had a friend that told me, yo, hobbies lead to greatness. I always thought that fascinating. And just that made me look back on things. And I did these things just to kind of get my mind off of the game. And one of the things that I found was, for instance, during the playoffs, I would cook dinner. You have to concentrate on the meal or it's going to suck. Right. I'm looking at the time. I'm checking the meat. It's a thing that I have to focus on. Sure. Because if I don't, my brain is going to start going and then we're going to start thinking about tomorrow and I'm going to be back in that rabbit hole.

16:03You don't want to be there all the time. Once I start relaxing in my cooking or in me playing the guitar, I see some weird connection to where I think about basketball. But it'd be like, oh, OK, I could put that to the side. It's like it was this crazy thing of no no judgment. Wow. I never thought of that before. This is the move I'm going to do tomorrow. Yeah. Sometimes when you're thinking about something else, you create room for your brain subconsciously solve some problem. If you're, I got to solve this. I got to solve this. I got to solve. You're not going to make any progress because the grind will grind you down.

16:35If you don't have anything to refresh. All the way down. Sometimes you just stink. I've been there plenty of times. Go eat a delicious meal. Go do something else. Get out of here. One of my favorite passages in all of meditations, Mark Surrealis, talks about being the rock that the waves crash over and eventually fall still around. There's something really special about water. I just went for this swim in Lake Michigan. I'm just standing here by the water, listening to the waves, trying to sort of slow myself down. I have a talk I have to give later today. I have to travel later today. I have a bunch of stuff I have to do.

17:12I want to get in that place of stillness. Euthymia, as Seneca talks about, tranquility. I want to get to a place of peace. even though everything is crazy, it's slowing down around me and I'm going to be able to do what I have to do for the day. Every day I send out one Stoic inspired email, totally for free, almost a million people all over the world. If you want to take your Stoicism journey to the next level, I would love for you to subscribe. It's totally for free. You can unsubscribe at any time. There's no spam. Just go to dailystoic.com slash email. Love to see you there.

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