You Don't Have Unlimited Time | with What's Up To Us, What's Not Up To Us

0:05Ryan Holiday: Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a Stoic-inspired meditation designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life. Each one of these episodes is based on the 2 ,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women, help you learn from them, to follow in their example, and to start your day off with a little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom. For more, visit dailystoic.com.

0:56Ryan Holiday: You don't have unlimited time. It happens every year. It's kind of funny. Even though we've been talking about it for weeks, even though it's a time when people are making resolutions to stop procrastinating, even though the deadline was clear, it's the last two days of the year where we see the most signups for the Daily Stoic New Year, New You Challenge. Like, far and away the most registrations. As I said, it's funny, but it's also a little revealing. Because this is what we do, isn't it? Like we think about doing something, we set a goal or an intention, we know there's something that would do us good, and then we put off actually doing it until the last minute.

1:36Ryan Holiday: Now, why is that? Is it to give ourselves an excuse to not have to follow through? Because we don't want to hear that we can't? Because maybe we want to hear that we can't, that the window has passed. Maybe since we're afraid, we don't make the commitment. Or maybe it's just that timeless thing that all fools have in common, as Seneca said, that they are always getting ready to start. We say, I'm going to get to it, just not quite yet. I'm going to do it. I just need to take care of some other things first. You know you'd like to eat better. You know you'd like to get in better shape. You know you'd like to get more organized.

2:12Ryan Holiday: You know you'd like to be able to complete that creative project or learn an instrument or reconnect with an old friend. You know you're capable of more. But when will we do this? Eventually. And then what happens is that time sneaks up on us. In meditations, Mark Surreale rebukes this tendency, not only as lazy, but as arrogant and entitled. He says we act as if we had endless years ahead of us. But no, he says, death overshadows you. While you're alive and able, be good. While you're alive and able, stop putting things off. Stop telling yourself at some point, stop being arrogant and entitled.

2:54Ryan Holiday: Stop acting as if you have endless years ahead of you. You don't. Memento mori. You are mortal. You don't have unlimited time. How many New Year's have you watched pass with the same list of things you'd get around to? How many times have you told yourself this is the year, only to find yourself 12 months later in the exact same place? If you don't want 2026 to be another year of putting things off, well, that's what we created the Daily Stoic New Year New You Challenge around. It's 21 actionable challenges, one email per day built around the best, most timeless wisdom in stoic philosophy. And we'd love to have you join us.

3:33Ryan Holiday: Join us and thousands of other stoics doing it at dailystoic.com slash challenge. It's going to be three weeks of waking up each morning, opening the email and taking real action towards becoming who you know you can be. And you should be that person while you still can. I'm pumped. My family's ready for it. We do it every year. I got a bunch of friends that do it, too. It's been one of the best things that I have done over the last seven or eight years. Not just because it's been fun to meet and talk with all of you, but because I get better for doing these exercises. My spouse gets better. My sister-in-law was telling me something the other day that she learned in like one of the very first challenges we ever did.

4:11Ryan Holiday: It was this habit she wanted to quit. And here she is all these years later and she's still staying strong on it. That's what we love about the challenge. I'd love to see you in there. And by the way, if you sign up for Daily Stoic Life, you get this challenge and all the challenges for free. Dailystoic.com slash challenge. I'll see you on January 1st.

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5:53Ryan Holiday: Three, four times a day, I reach over and I grab my wife's phone and I check something. Not social media. I check the Shopify app. Because Shopify is how I see how the Painted Porch and the Daily Stoic are doing. We've been using Shopify for almost 10 years now. It's great. And we're not the only ones using it. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses and brands all over the world. They do 10 % of the e-commerce in the U.S., from household names to Gymshark and Allbirds to little brands just getting started and little things in between like Daily Stoic. Everything is all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother.

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7:08Ryan Holiday: Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. I've got my Daily Stoic Journal in front of me. This is the first week in the Daily Stoic Journal, and it starts with the most important Stoic task that there is. What's up to us and what's not up to us? Epictetus' handbook, The Inchiridion, begins with the most powerful exercise in all of Stoicism, the distinction between things that are up to us in our control and the things that are not up to us. It is this, the dichotomy of control, that is the first principle in the entire philosophy. We don't control many of the things we pursue in life, yet we become angry, sad, hurt, scared, and jealous, and we don't get them.

7:54Ryan Holiday: In fact, these emotions, those reactions, are about the only thing we do control. If that is the only lesson to journal on and think about this year, consider it a year well and philosophically lived. And then Epictetus' Discourses, which we actually opened the Daily Stoic with, so I'll riff on that in a second, but he says, look, the chief task in life is simply this, to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil, not in uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own?

8:37Ryan Holiday: And then in Inquiridian 1.1, he riffs on what is and isn't in our control. He says, some things are in our control while others are not. We control our opinion, our choice, our desire, our aversions, and in a word, everything of our own doing. We don't control our body, our property, our reputation, our position, and in a word everything not in our own doing. And even more, the things in our control are by nature free, unhindered, and unobstructed, while those not in our control are weak and slavish and can be hindered and are not our own. And then 1.22, he says, we control our reasoned choice in all acts that depend on moral will.

9:16Ryan Holiday: What's not under control are our body and any of its parts, our possessions, our parents, our siblings, our children, our country, anything with which we might associate. Look, I think what Epictetus is saying here is that not just the wisdom of the serenity prayer, you know, you separate things into the categories and you only focus on what's up to you, but that a lot of things that we think of as being up to us are not even up to us, right? Really at the absolute core of it, what we control are our thoughts, our emotions, our opinions. We don't control what happens, we control how we respond to what happens, but even then within a constrained amount.

9:54Ryan Holiday: And this might seem kind of resigned or a sad way to start the year, but I don't think it is. I think it's the only way to start the year. It's certainly the only way I thought we could start the Daily Stoic, which I'll read to you the January 1st entry. The single most important practice in Stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we can't, what we have influence over and what we do not. A flight is delayed because of weather. No amount of yelling at an airline representative will end a storm. No amount of wishing will make you taller or shorter or born in a different country.

10:28Ryan Holiday: No matter how hard you try, you can't make someone like you. And on top of that, time spent hurling yourself at these immovable objects is time not spent on the things we can change. The recovery community practices something called the serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Addicts cannot change the abuse suffered in childhood. They cannot undo the choices that they have made or the hurt they have caused, but they can change the future through the power they have in the present moment.

11:02Ryan Holiday: As Epictetus says, they can control the choices they make right now. The same is true for us today, for the year that stands before us. If we focus on making clear what parts of our day are within our control and what parts are not, we will not only be happier, we will have a distinct advantage over other people who fail to realize they are fighting an unwinnable battle. It's funny. I think when we're younger, we have an outsized view of what's in our control and what isn't. And as we get older, we ratchet that back, which is ironic because as we get older, we're also more powerful, more successful, etc.

11:37Ryan Holiday: etc. But you just realize like, look, you don't control what other people do. I mean, even the longer I've been a parent, it's not the less strict I am, but I do feel the more chill I am because I've made the mistakes. I've tried to control things I don't control. I've seen where my anxiety or stress or worry or whatever gets me and I cultivate the ability to step back to focus on what I control. I just control how I respond. I just control whether I let my emotions get the best of me or not, or when I catch myself, at what point in that process do I walk it back, right? What's up to us and what's not up to us.

12:18Ryan Holiday: I feel like so many of the things that I'm upset about that I get in arguments about, what I'm really saying is, I wish that hadn't happened. I want to undo that that happened. That's not how life works. That's not something that's up to me. And so I'm practicing the idea of getting a little bit better at letting go of that thing, of moving on from that thing. And so must you. This is a year that we try to focus more on what's in our control. We argue less with reality. I have a whole set of note cards. I often journal and think about how often I find this. We're in arguments with reality. We wish things were different.

12:54Ryan Holiday: They weren't the way that they were. And this isn't like resigning yourself to the state of society. This is resigning yourself that something that did happen, happened. That something that happened did happen. It is done. It is in the past. Arguing and re-litigating and re-litigating, it doesn't change it. You don't have the power to make it unhappen. But you do have the power to decide how it's going to make you feel, whether it harms you or not, what you do about it, who you are because of it. That's the part of this that's up to us. That's where I'll leave you today.

13:30Ryan Holiday: Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast. I just wanted to say we so appreciate it. We love serving you. It's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple of years we've been doing it. It's an honor. Please spread the word, tell people about it, and this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say thank you.

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