You Either Are Or You Aren’t | Your Actual Needs Are Small

0:00I got an amazing night's sleep last night. One, because my six-year-old fell asleep in the car at like six o 'clock and he transferred him from the car seat to the bed and it stuck, which is just magic. So he's in bed way earlier than normal. But I sleep really well every night because I have a 8 Sleep Pod 5 Ultra, which is 8 Sleep's best product. I've used 8 Sleep for many years now and it's just totally transformed how I sleep, made me sleep better, made my wife sleep better. It's amazing. So basically, Eight Sleep is this topper that goes over your mattress. It can heat and cool both sides separately.

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3:01Welcome to The Daily Stoic Podcast. On Friday, we do double duty, not just reading our daily meditation, but also reading a passage from The Daily Stoic, my book, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living, which I wrote with my wonderful collaborator, translator, and literary agent, Stephen Hanselman. So today, we'll give you a quick meditation from the Stoics with some analysis from me, and then we'll send you out into the world to turn these words into works.

3:36You either are or you aren't. It's impossible not to read Marcus Aurelius or Seneca and not sense that they were always working. Not that they were literally always at the office. As we've said, they believed in a kind of work-life balance, but they were always working on themselves. They were studying. They were reflecting. They were asking questions. Late at night after his wife went to sleep, Seneca would pull out his journals and evaluate the day, going over what he'd done well and where he didn't live up to his standards. Marcus most famously was seen as an old man picking up his tablets and heading off to attend a lecture by Sextus, a wise teacher.

4:15I found one had to do some work every day, even at midnight, the sculptor Barbara Hepworth explained, because you're either a professional or you aren't. And the same goes for philosophy and self-improvement. You're either putting in the work or you're not. You're either making the time for it or you're not. Marcus Aurelius and Seneca were not too busy, and neither are the powerful people who have come to Stoicism since. They delight in their own improvement day to day. As Epictetus said, they make it a priority. Can you say the same for yourself?

5:03Your actual needs are small. This is the September 29th entry in the Daily Stoic. Nothing can satisfy greed, but even a small measure satisfies nature. So it is that the poverty of an exile brings no misfortune, for no place of exile is so barren as to not produce ample support for a person. This is Seneca in his consolation to his mother. It can be beneficial to reflect on what you used to accept as normal. Consider your first paycheck and how big that seemed. Or your first apartment with its own bedroom and bathroom and the ramen you gladly scarfed down in the kitchen. Today, as you become more successful, these conditions would hardly feel sufficient.

5:49In fact, you probably want even more than what you have right now. Yet just a few years ago, these paltry conditions were not only enough, they felt great. When we become successful, we forget how strong we used to be. We are so used to what we have, we half believe that we'd die without it. Of course, this is just the comfort talking. In the days of world wars, our grandparents and parents made do with rationed gas, butter, and electricity. They were fine, just as you have been fine when you had less. Remember today that you are okay if things suddenly go wrong. Your actual needs are quite small.

6:26There is very little that could happen that would truly threaten your survival. Think about that and adjust your worries and fears accordingly. There is a passage where I talk about this in Discipline's Destiny, which let me grab real fast. I got the galley here, because I'm recording this before the thing. But we talk about seeking, avoiding, I talk in part one about avoiding the superfluous, right? And I tell the story of Cato the Elder, and he says, nothing is cheap if it is superfluous. He's talking about cultivating a place where you don't have more than you need and people can't take that from you, right?

7:11I say this in the chapter. I say, think about how content you were with less just a few years ago, how much more frugal you were by necessity, how much less you got by on. Do you look back at those younger years when you were striving and struggling as somehow lacking, as something you're bitter about? Not usually. Those were happy days. We almost missed them. Things were simpler then, cleaner. There was more clarity. Most of the luxuries that lay in the future, we did not even know about. We didn't pine for them. We were ignorant. of even their possibility. And when you realize this, that the less you desire, the richer you are, the freer you are, the more powerful you are.

7:52You have something that can't be taken away from you. So the Stoics want you to realize how little you need for the happy life. To get personal for a second, I think about the job that I dropped out of college for. I've told this story before, but I remember I was offered$30 ,000. That was my salary. I remember thinking I may have even said it out loud and I'm both mortified and find it hilarious I remember thinking what am I going to do with all this money that was so much money to me as it happens like two days after I started they knocked my salary down because the partner who'd hired me hadn't cleared it with the other partners and I actually made more like 26 or something but it was more than enough for me I think about what I got paid for my first book when I think about what I'm getting paid on now my 12th.

8:42It's all so much extra, so much more than I was once happy to have. And that success should make you grateful. It shouldn't make you paranoid. If you take it for granted, you're being ungrateful, I guess is what I'm saying. And when you realize how little you need, it allows you to feel the true wealth that you have, the true excess that you have and realize how much space is there. You don't need to protect it so tightly. It's house money at this point. That's what the Stoics are trying to think about. I even think about Seneca. Seneca's writing this letter to his mother. He's in exile, but this is the second time this has happened to him.

9:25He realized that he couldn't cling too tightly to any of these things. And I think that gave him a kind of strength. It's what allowed him to comfort her in this difficult moment. So that's what we're talking about here. We're not saying you starve yourself. We're not saying you experience nothing. You just realize that it's extra and you don't need it all. And that's a little preview of the new book, Discipline is Destiny, which you can grab now anywhere books are sold. I appreciate all the support of the book. Thank you, everyone. How it does first week, I have no idea, especially as I'm recording this well in advance.

10:00but I already am grateful for what everyone has said and the support that I've heard about from the book and I appreciate you supporting and if you haven't yet you can check it out at dailystoic.com slash pre-order or get discipline is destiny the power of self-control anywhere books are sold including audiobook ebook whatever thanks everyone

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