Addiction to Empire | How Determination & Discipline Rewired Eric Spofford's Life

29:45And once you're an adult, you let that thing go. And that's the trajectory of your life. It's what you know. And I don't think kids are thinking about it like that right now, right? They're looking at it as we're having fun. I've had someone very close to me, one of my baseball players, take a quarter of a Percocet. He had an arm injury, and it was laced with fentanyl, and he died. It was three years the other day.

30:06Eric Spofford:Frequent story, man. Yeah, man. It's too common. One of the closest kids to me that I've ever had. And I still talk to his parents all the time, and it's heartbreaking. You know, I can't imagine going through something like you've gone through and can honestly say that very few people from your childhood are still alive. Now, we all know that as we grow up, we lose touch with people. we go in different routes but to know that they didn't make it out and here you are and you have a chance to make an impact and you've done that yeah you know i mean i think those people you know i think about them every day and you know i'm 41 years old and and all of them are either we lost some as teenagers and we lost a lot in our 20s and by the time by the time i got to my mid early mid-30s, mid-30s, it was over.

30:57Eric Spofford:There was no one left to die. They were all gone. And so they're 20-something, 30-something forever.

31:07Eric Spofford:And, you know, they're a big motivator for me. I don't talk about this part of it a lot, but I think about a morning, day, and night. I take them with me everywhere I go and I do a lot of the stuff that I've done throughout my life in honor of them. That's amazing. That's amazing, man. Yeah, I miss them. I bet. I bet. But you're honoring their memory. You took the accountability, the responsibility, and you've helped so many people, dude. So many people. Everybody always talks about what their purpose is or how do they serve people? How do they do what they need to do? And I think it's truly taking who you once were and helping those people.

31:48You did that. Go to the recovery houses, right? one to 15 300 employees and then a nine-figure exit yeah what skills did you learn in that time

32:01Eric Spofford:that you can't learn anywhere else oh man i you know one of the greatest secrets about that story of starting a business at 23 years old and selling it at god how old was i was four years ago it was 37 maybe 36 uh for 115 million you know 13 years later is i had no idea what i was doing i had no idea i didn't have a fucking clue not one and the one the one thing i did have was i had an obsessive drive and i had the ability to learn and find resources that i needed and and figure it out and so every step of the way like i had no idea what i was doing my father was like what are you doing you have no idea what you're doing he's like he told me not to do it so many times i was like i'm gonna start this giant rehab and we're gonna take insurance and we're gonna help people and you know i have to sign for these big loans and this that the other thing he was like don't do that what are you thinking yeah it's a bad idea so i developed every skill set every you know through that process and everything even since then turned me into a well-rounded businessman and entrepreneur.

33:14Eric Spofford:And, you know, there's not a corner of business that I don't speak fluently. Everything from, I hate to learn, everything, you know, business basics, operations to finance, to accounting, to marketing, to sales, to IT, to human resources, to, and then at every break point right like running a business as a solopreneur with a couple sober houses you know i'm got the checkbook every month doing the bills i'm you know doing it all myself to hiring my first employee that poor son of a bitch for any business owner if you remember your first employee right feel bad for that guy um to you know the the business growing by sites by services by size by employees, by clients, by revenue.

34:08Eric Spofford:There were so many breakpoints and plateaus that in order to get from here to here, I had to recreate my knowledge base, my skill set. I had to learn because what worked at this level breaks at this level over and over and over again. You know, it was a story of relentless work, but also relentless self-education. Dude, there's so much power in that though. Yeah. Right? You could have people there to consult you and do it for you, but you don't learn anything. And the other thing - I don't think I actually had the people to do it for me. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Like I had to figure it out.

34:50Yeah. I mean, when you do something completely different than anybody else in your circle has ever done.

34:54Eric Spofford:Yeah. For instance, what I'm doing, I don't have anybody in my circle that's done this. I had to figure it out. Me and my wife. And we're growing. We have a team now. I've got support, but I know what it looks like on the other side at the beginning. And the other thing that I know you possess, one thing you didn't say is you're also the first patient of one of your sober houses. So you have that patient perspective too, which allowed you to understand truly what these patients needed. It's amazing. What does that do to you? You're the boss, but you're also a patient. How does that sit? I lived at the sober house kind of more as the house manager than I would say a patient, but I had been a patient to many rehabs and a client to many sober houses prior to that, so I had a lot of lived experience sitting in our client's shoes, right?

35:43Eric Spofford:Not a lot different between me and them except for time and work, you know? Yeah. And so I don't know that I fully understand the question. Like, what did it do to me? I don't know, man. I was just, the business for me was very relatable. Like, I understood what they were going through. That's awesome. It made me, I think it gave, I guess I would say that it made me impactful in a way that a lot of other people may not be able to because I can relate with them in a deep level of lived experience. Yeah. I know what it's like to show up with, you know, your duffel bag moving into a halfway house.

36:21Eric Spofford:I've done it 20 times. Yeah. Right. I've been in detox, you know, taking medication and coming off another relapse filled with shame, grant remorse, like, oh my God, can't even look at yourself in the mirror. Done that plenty too. And so, you know, being able to sit down with the patients and be relatable and, you know, you come in and you don't look like one of them because you've been sober for a while and you cleaned up, but then you start telling stories and you can earn their trust through the credibility of the stuff that you've been through and your experience very quickly. And then you kind of are able to get a hook into them and you're someone they'll listen to.

37:01What are you up to now? You're mentoring entrepreneurs?

37:05Eric Spofford:Yeah. You're writing books? I have a portfolio of businesses and real estate that I oversee and manage with a team. So we have a couple treatment centers, one in Ohio, one in Pennsylvania. Got real estate assets all over. I've got a reintegration sober living business in California. I've got construction-related companies. I'm developing real estate, building 100 units pretty soon up in New Hampshire, mixed-use project. So I've got my hands full. Okay, so you're back in the facilities and construction. How do you keep all it straight? Great team. That's awesome, man. Yeah, good people. You know, good people.

37:40What part of business and building business and scaling them do you enjoy most? Say it again. What part of the business and scaling them, no matter what vertical you're in, what do you love most about all that?

37:55Eric Spofford:I think real entrepreneurs are very similar to artists in a way. We're like having this idea and then working hard, putting together a team, bringing in resources, taking a big risk. and then there's this moment where you sit back and it all comes together and you're like, wow. You know, I remember when I just was laying in bed one day and thought that, you know what we should do? I have an idea. This would be great. And then, you know, when it all comes together and it's executing the plan and it's successful and you've created economy, you've created jobs, you're helping people, you get to lead a team, you get to work side by side with really cool people.

38:40that's my favorite piece of it that's pretty awesome let's say that's all about leadership yeah you know i mean it has nothing to do with you it has nothing to do with your pocketbook your bank account nothing like that yeah or an exit it has to do with being a giver and and helping somebody else along in their career um can you think of anybody that you've ever employed right it has gone through your companies and you've seen them grow from the very beginning maybe even out of addiction and then turn into someone completely just unstoppable in their

39:11Eric Spofford:careers oh man i have so many examples of that i mean even my right hand at work now my chief operating officer laurie she started with me she oversees all of this you know by my side as my number two and she started as my executive assistant more than seven years ago damn you know Now she's chief operating officer. I had, you know, during my career or time spent at Granite Recovery, the business that I built and sold, we had countless people that came in as patients that I had them in group. I was running recovery groups with them. I remember them and then I've gone off to do tremendous things.

39:51Eric Spofford:Many of them in that business, many of them outside of that business, but had the privilege and the honor and opportunity to watch them come up You know, we had at one time most of the executive directors, the people running the various facilities, as well as the mid-level management, the operations directors, the director of case management, these roles were all people at that business that at one time had been patients. They were all alumni of the program. And so that was one of the special sauce pieces of it was like you would go in there and talk to the person who's running the rehab you're at.

40:27Eric Spofford:And like, you don't know what this is like. And they're like, I got sober here. I slept in room seven. Like, you know what I mean? Now I'm running the place. I know exactly what this is like. Yeah. You know, so yeah, I've had, yeah. It's, that's been a really cool part of the process is watching other people grow. It's got to make you proud, man. It's got to make you proud to see somebody come out like that and become a COO. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's sick. Yeah. You know, damn. What has been one of the most adverse moments in growing your businesses that you think that you've gone through? there's a lot about success that they don't tell you and it's it's an interesting paradox of a separation between two worlds the world that you know i would say that i was in when i was trying to make it and the one that i got to after and they don't warn you about jealousy and envy and um in all the unintended consequences that will come with finding success now if you go and sit at a table with my social circle now and many of my friends are successful people high net worth you know people that have accomplished amazing things in their life you bring this topic up and everyone has a hundred stories it's a common thing we've all been through it we're relatable to each other but until you kind of walk through this valley across this bridge of of what it was to what it is you don't meet those people and you get stuck between two worlds you're leaving this one you've outgrown the world that you were in but you haven't quite grown into the world that you're about to fit into and you're stuck between two that process for me was incredibly painful because i've never and still don't no matter how much money i've made the assets i bought you know um the things i've owned the attention that i've got whatever it's been i've never thought of myself as any different as every other single person that i've ever met like i'm just a guy yeah you know but having the realization that they felt differently about me and starting to have the stress and tension in those relationships.

42:48Eric Spofford:And, like, you go out and you work your face off. You take on all that risk. You give it everything you've got, and you go out. And I remember the first exotic car I bought was a Lambo Huracan. And I got the car. And this is in New Hampshire. There's not a lot of Lamborghinis driving around New Hampshire. Not a lot. And I remember like taking it and like, and I remember like showing people and like, I was like, oh, this is not the reaction I expected. Isn't that crazy? You don't like, oh yeah, man, that's cool. Nice, man. Yeah, cool. And like, you're like, oh, got it. You're really not that happy for me.

43:27Eric Spofford:And that amplified itself on a large stage. I can relate to this one. Yeah. All right. So, all right. A quick word from today's sponsor, Scribe. Here's the thing about scaling a team. It's never really about headcount or budget. It's that nobody documents anything because writing it all down is painful and nobody has time for it. So people end up doing the same process five different ways. And when someone leaves, all that knowledge just walks out the door with them. I've lived this. Every time I bring someone new onto the team, I'm re-explaining the same steps I've already explained a dozen times.

44:04That's exactly the problem Scribe was built to fix. Here's how it works. You turn on the extension, or desktop app and just do the process like you normally would. Scribe builds the guide as you go, capturing every click and screenshot automatically. What used to take hours of writing and cleanup is done in under a minute, and it's already ready to share. It also auto-redacts sensitive stuff, names, account numbers, emails out of every screenshot. If you're running a team, you can enforce that company-wide so nothing slips through. And once the guide exists, anyone can launch real time on-screen guidance that shows them exactly where to click step-by-step inside the actual tool.

44:45Plus, Scribe doesn't just document your workflow. It actually suggests ways to improve it, like cutting redundant steps or flagging what could be simplified. To see what Scribe could look like for your org, head to scribe.how slash TDS and mention TDS for your first month of Scribe capture free on select plans. That's S C R I B E dot how slash TDS. It's always cool when you first start because people can still relate to you. Once you get to the middle part and you're crossing that bridge, that Valley, and you start to get over an inch your way over here, that, that, that is the most lonely part of the journey.

45:30That is hard. It is painful and nobody talks about that you're right they don't talk about where you were where you're going but they sure as shit don't talk about the middle that middle is unbearably lonely yeah and painful i it's it's i believe it's one of the reasons a lot of people tap out and quit

45:48Eric Spofford:yep and they go back to every show they retreat back to the guys in their softball league and their bud lights and you know their sunday cookouts i remember this moment i was i had bought this big mansion, 15 ,000 square foot house. And for, there was a period of time in my life where I was like very hungry and very driven and I wanted everything. And so I'm sitting in this giant mansion, six bay car garage, and all these cars in it. And it's a nice Sunday afternoon. It's years and years ago. About that time period. And I remember looking on Facebook and there were all these people that were part of that world that I loved to death.

46:29Eric Spofford:I really care about these people and I see them they posted pictures like later that day and I had just been like kind of sitting around bored not doing a lot and they had like a cookout or something and I was like maybe they just forgot and so I like remember like gently being like oh you guys had a little cookout oh yeah man yeah sorry about that it was just kind of last minute exactly there's like 50 people there exactly last minute you had everybody there yeah and that was i remember that standing on that felt like a knife in my heart and that stung and i i was like got it but i had nowhere else to go those were the only people i had so i was like left with nothing and i've never been a quitter i've never been a guy that you can pressure into tapping it's never gonna happen i'd rather die but i could see why people would want to in that moment.

47:28Eric Spofford:That was like heartache. Like, you know, it was incredibly painful. And I didn't know at that time that I would eventually make it through to the other side to a world where I have the best friends that I could have. I have the most amazing Rolodex and network and friend group

47:55Eric Spofford:now that you know, like they say, it's lonely at the top I love saying this, they say it's lonely at the top, no it's not I met the best people on fucking planet earth once I got there the journey to get there was treacherous hard, difficult, painful and lonely it was miserable but once I got there, I wasn't lonely at all I'm not lonely one bit, but getting here was terrible you know dude i'm telling you man like there's countless times yeah where i've gone i've gone to check in on somebody no text back no call back hey man checking on you oh no just your big time what yeah no i'm you know but but but that that's the hurtful part of it because they just assume that we've changed we're the same person this is just our job it's not who we are yeah no i don't think the money changes you i really don't i think the process uh itself changed me like at that moment i had all the money but i was still the same guy i think the process of the heartbreak and everything you go through changed me into a different person it wasn't the money yeah they talk about all the you know the one percent the one percent it's like we're not we're not like avoiding the world because we don't like you right we're avoiding a lot of that and we we operate you and stick to each other because you guys aren't that nice to us.

49:17There's a lot of jealousy there from people.

49:20Eric Spofford:Huge, huge. But at the end of the day, like everything else, when shit hits the fan, you've got to find the positive in absolutely everything. And I look back at the moments like you're talking about, about unreturned text messages or some major thing happens in your life, which has happened in my life many times, and you look around and you're like, we're about to find out who our friends are. you know yeah who's still standing and you find out who people really are and that helped shape a lot of my world a lot of my relationships and it's funny you know when the when the shit happens like who's standing with you a month two months six months later the dust settles everything's cool everyone sees everything's fine it's back to normal and people like oh hey man you know it's like yeah now motherfucker i remember yeah i remember i won't forget yeah we're cool i'm not gonna bring it up but certainly didn't miss not gonna be vindictive either but no not at all but I know if you ride with me or not.

50:12Eric Spofford:100%. And that's the hard part about it, right, is finding your people. But again, I keep saying the middle. It's just because it resonates with me so much. And for the listeners and the people watching it, they might be going through that too. There's a shift, a journey that when you excel, you're going to leave people behind, not because you want to, because they're not giving you a choice. Yeah. Yeah, no. As you grow and they don't, this gap between where they're at and where you're at becomes bigger and bigger and bigger. It becomes harder and harder to manage. And unfortunately, it's impossible at this point, I believe, to drag them along with you.

50:54What do you think is the biggest misconception from people in the past? It could be anybody's past. the biggest misconception between what they think about people that have reached your type of monetary success or financial gain what what's the biggest misconception about people like you

51:17Eric Spofford:that's a great question what i was guilty of and i see in so many people is they believe that the money and the material stuff is going to be different and have a different impact than it really will. And it doesn't. It really doesn't. You know, like, oh, it must be nice to have all this stuff. And, you know, when I get these things, I feel like this. It's like this lying core belief that a lot of people have. and you know i've had the the great experience of doing all of it and finding out that you could buy a new car and then it gets dirty and the shine wears off you can buy a new airplane and then they send it for maintenance and send you a big bill and it breaks and you are cussing out the people you know the body like this sucks yeah you can buy yachts you can you know go on church you can do all this stuff and how people think about that and the actuality of of what that's like is very different and i don't know that that is a lesson that can be taught you know i think a lot of people may know that but the driven people i think a lot of them have to find out for me you couldn't tell me any different eric's not all about the money you're like yeah i know i'm a good dad and love god and pray and meditate every day help people blah blah blah but like but also i still want that boat you know i mean i'm gonna get that and um and so i don't know that that i could have ever fully gotten the kind of been there done that wisdom that i've achieved at this point without going through all of that and the wisdom that i have on the other side of it is what i think that they don't know because they've never been through the process you you brought up they live in desire and right at this point i've desired it scratch gotten it scratched the itch gotten to the to the point where i hated it i will never buy another fucking lamborghini as long as i live you hate them now i hate lamborghinis why is that they're a pain in the ass they're they're constantly breaking down they're loud they're uncomfortable girls don't even really like riding in them you know what i mean people i'll get the lambo get the girl you know you put her in a svj with roadster with the top off her hair's all over the place she's so miserable it's like put the top up it's loud you know and it just the more stuff you own the more stuff owns you the more shit you have to think about and that's so valuable yeah i think a lot of people even on a smaller scale let's take somebody that just buys a truck that they want or a car because they hate the car that they're in but they want that nicer vehicle They love it for a month.

54:07Eric Spofford:Exactly. And then after that, all the shit piles up in it. They spill coffee on it. They don't clean it anymore. Because now it's just a thing. It's a tool that gets you from A to B. And it was neat for a second, but the novelty wears off. That happens all over. For sure. It's interesting. I mean, look, I think that when you look at all of that, it's coming from you. it's so valuable because I've had conversations with my wife. Well, hey, our next house, this is what I want. But it comes from a different place now. Like I haven't reached where you're at. But at least now I've made enough mistakes in car purchases and buying things to know that that's not going to fulfill me.

54:49The problem with me before was a big void inside of me because I didn't think I was good enough. And that would fix it. But it never did.

54:59Eric Spofford:No. No, the effect produced is not what you think it's going to be. It's really not. Yeah. And it just becomes the never-ending chase and pursuit for more. I think the exact topic that we're on is why there's so many people that achieve wealth and status and end up miserable and crazy, drunk and high and mental health issues, and their life's all fucked up, you know? Yeah. Because they get there and they're like, it's all a mirage. This isn't that great. Yeah, this isn't what I thought it was. and now your life's more complicated. You're, you know, when you think about, like, the things you need as a human being, you know, we're taught about food, shelter, you know, et cetera.

55:39Eric Spofford:Like, you need human connection. Yeah. And to the point that we were making earlier is that it complicates that. It complicates your relationships. Yeah. Now, you know, once you become rich and you're wealthy, you have to look at everybody and size them up on the authenticity of their approach and their relationship. And what do you actually want? There it is. You want to be my friend or you want something? And then you kind of wait them out and you, you know, watch them for a little bit. And they think they're coy and they do this and they do that and they show up and then they come with the ask.

56:14You know, and it's like, okay, I understand.

56:17Eric Spofford:Yeah, that's... It becomes this inhibitor to human connection. and one of the things that's most important as a human being is human connection like you want to get to know god get to know his kids and so when those channels are are energetically constrained between you and other people because it's it's not only it's it's broader than that too it's you know people will approach you and they have an agenda i have an acronym for it's called wimp they approach you with wimp which is what's in it for me yeah that's you know what i mean they're coming in and i'm gonna meet eric and and i automatically am thinking about what's in it for me what can i make out of this introduction instead of let's be friends what the hell let's get to know each other you know and then the other thing that that is crazy is you know whether it's you know notoriety attention wealth um status or whatever it is but when you put all these things together then people get nervous meeting you and then when they get weird i get weird people get nervous like hey eric if you get weird and awkward with me i will be way more terrified and nervous than you are of course trying to play it off i'm like oh this is fucking weird you're trying to figure out what the fuck's going on here yeah get me out of here you know you know i i i can i can i can see what you're saying there i have a lot of people ask what are you doing you meet these people i'm like talk to them talk to them yeah they're people totally like come on you know Because my next question was going to be, typically when you meet someone, do you have to vet out what they want from you?

57:50And you answered it. And I think everybody at some point that even reaches some perceivable success greater than where somebody else is at, you're always open for that. 100%. Always. What are some of the things, other than that ask, hey, I'm short a little bit, can I have some money? What are some of the things that you look out for that can kind of decipher whether, okay, I'm going to let you in or I'm going to keep you here? character for me it's all character honor and you know i have a lot of little things that i'll size

58:22Eric Spofford:people up i mean you can look at people look at their life and kind of tell who they are um one of them like we're talking about being being dads is how you show up for your kids come on man you know i i don't you want to be my friend if you're not a good dad we're never going to be friends because if you can let your kids down like that i you don't know the first thing about loyalty and i have no business having any expectations for you beyond what you've been able to do and show up for for your own your own blood your own flesh i like this one let's dig into that that's one another it sounds weird but people that are punctual like if you're not on time it's probably enough that like i'm like we're not going to be friends you know like that's a respect thing man it's a respect it is but you know i'd rather you waste my money than my time you know I only have a limited scarce amount of time and so if you waste my time you're quite literally wasting somebody's life force that we have a limited amount of and it's self-centered and it's selfish and you put whatever you have going on ahead of you know whatever it is like this podcast set for 12 I was in front at 11.58 you know they asked me to be here at 11.45 but unfortunately I was already scheduled when they asked me this morning but yeah just on time just character stuff, man, honor, you know?

59:43I love it. What's a good dad? Oh, man, that's a great question.

59:48Eric Spofford:What's a good dad? I don't know. I think there's a lot of different philosophies on belief of what being a good dad is. I have friends that I do believe are good dads, that it looks differently for them than it does me. They believe that a dad is, you know, the time is meant to be more potent with their children and intentional and they're going to learn by how you live and they live an honorable life and hard work and success and that. And I can get with that. That's not my style of being a good dad. I'm very close with my kids. You look at my social media, I don't put them on there a lot because they didn't sign up for this.

1:00:35Eric Spofford:You know what I mean? So I put them on there a little bit because I believe that part of my message and the influence that I've been able to have on people is to encourage people to be good dads. And I can see that that is meaningful and a good reason to be open kimono in that part of my life a lot. But I'm with my kids all the time. I bring them with me to everything. And so I'm just, I'm present. And I talk to them and I have relationships with them and like my dad was like that for me. And so I think a lot of it is how you're raised, right? I think you can, men that had good dads can emulate what good dad meant for them and that men that maybe had fathers that had room for improvement can look and criticize their own experience and fill in those gaps of what they wish they had growing up.

1:01:25I think what's broken is when you have,

1:01:30Eric Spofford:you know, maybe a not so great experience with your parenting, you know, as a child. or your parents parenting of you as you were a child and then you emulate and repeat the cycle with your own kids you don't break the cycle yeah so this listen there's stuff about my dad that i love like i look at my childhood and i'm like that was the best my dad brought me everywhere he owned this logging company i was telling you about and i was just all i remember as a kid is being with him all the time he had his log truck you know it's like a truck with a cherry picker on it that picks logs up and i sat in the front seat of that thing my entire childhood listening into the same three cassette tapes.

1:02:06Eric Spofford:Johnny Cash, Charlie Daniels. You know, the devil went down to Georgia. Yeah, that's a good song. My dad's smoking cigarettes. The windows are rolled up. I feel like I'm going to die. But, you know, it's that for me. And so I'm very much like that with my kids. My oldest is, you know, we're wrestling. We're playing around. He's at the gym lifting weights with me. We're, you know, spending time together, going to do this, going to do that. I have my four, almost five-year-old boy. I'm with him. I bring him with me everywhere. He's known. Everywhere I go, he's known. Then I have a little baby girl.

1:02:42Eric Spofford:She's six months old. I spent a lot of time with her too. That's awesome. Just being present and showing up the best you can for me. I would agree. It's not about the discipline. It's not about the sternness. You're going to learn to be a man. That's how I was taught. Yeah. I love my dad. He's done a lot for me. He taught me what hard work is and how to go chase something that you really, really want. You've got to put the work in. The presence for me as a dad is so much more important. I need to know that my kids can really feel the fact that I'm there for them. And when it's their time, if I'm home, it's locked in on them.

1:03:20And that they can trust me with whatever they tell me and they know that I'm listening. It is so important for your kids to feel safe. See, I have one son who's 12 and then I have two daughters. I got a seven and a nine and different deal it is it is because you know I of course I have both but like you know I girl dad you know this wrist is Alina's I'm sorry this is Mia's and this is Alina's and you know it's always a reminder that I need to be there for them and of course I always need to be there for my son that's my dude love him love all my kids but it is different with the girls i'm having to learn and and when your daughter gets older you'll you'll learn different parts of yourself and they and they're like very rough at the beginning and then you grow through it it gets really hard when there's two of them in the house and they're around the same age and

1:04:14Eric Spofford:they're fighting everywhere because your caveman comes out yeah and he's like yo but it's a beautiful experience man it softens you a lot i'm looking for a new girl dad but you're gonna love it you're gonna love it probably one of the things i'm most excited about in my life now yeah yeah no it's it's really cool man fatherhood's a great thing i love to ask that question because we you know we've talked about your kids a little bit and you know we talked about parenting i just there's new fathers out there yeah they don't know what it's like to be a good dad you know or they think that the way that they were raised like you said is how they were supposed to parent i remember before i had my son i thought that well my son just got a line i'll just pop him one like i was yeah that right and that's like yeah i'm gonna whoop your ass you try me yeah and then you hold him for the first time you realize there's no way in hell i'm ever putting a hand on you and that is powerful because that's called the breaking the cycle that's what a good dad is for new dads out there listening run your own race be your own good father and i think for me the the one person that made me a great father and i'm still growing is my wife yeah she's held me accountable every step of the way that's great every fuck up bro yeah that you fucked up tonight yeah all right yeah i mean like the barometer of being a good dad i there's a big difference i think between trying to be a perfect dad and a good dad oh yeah like there's no such thing as a perfect dad there's so many times i've looked back and go i could have done that differently I could have done better at that.

1:05:51Eric Spofford:But at the end of the day, I think if you can look at the man in the mirror and say you're doing your best for your kids, you're a good dad. If you look at the man in the mirror and you have a little bit of shame, regret, remorse, or like, oh, you know you could be doing or should be doing something and you're not, then that tells you that's a good barometer of what you need to be doing. It's information, right? Yeah, it's good feedback. Yeah, absolutely. It's not to shame yourself. it's not to but also i don't think there's anything wrong with going up to one of your kids and go hey i got that wrong 100 i messed up apologized to my son more than most people i've ever said sorry to i love that yeah all the time yeah do you forgive me got a little hot-headed with them you know not to say that he was right he certainly little kid knows how to push my buttons for sure you know i don't want to kill him but yeah you know it's like i sit back and i you know i'm like oh man i should have been more gentle with him and uh and having the humility to show you're human to him, which is not something I had growing up.

1:06:49Eric Spofford:Like I was saying, there's a lot of good stuff I've learned from my dad, and there's a lot of stuff that I do differently. My dad was very stoic. I knew he loved me because I heard how he talked about me to other people, the amount of time he spent with me, and how much he cared for me. He was not overly affectionate, communicative. That generation. There's that model. You know what I mean? I'm the exact opposite. Same. I'm still chasing my 15-year-old around trying to kiss him on his forehead. He's like, Dad, don't touch me. I'm like, I don't care. Get over here. Dude, my son will sit down right next to me and he'll put his hand on my hand.

1:07:22And I'm like, cool, man. Yeah, totally. Absolutely.

1:07:25Eric Spofford:I tell my kids I love them all the time. I'm affectionate with them. I don't know. That's me. Well, I'm a fan of you now. That's big. It's the biggest. That's the biggest thing we can probably do, man. Thanks so much for coming and sharing your story with the audience. I know it's going to impact people. And one more question I ask every guest is, What does true determination mean to you? You either want it or you don't. And if you actually want it, you're going to do it no matter what. There's no circumstances. There's no conditions. There's no, you know, you're all in, and you're either going to get to whatever it is you want to get to or achieve, or you're going to die in the process.

1:08:11Eric Spofford:That's how I've been my whole life. Love it. I say it all the time on my social media. It's like, never bend, break, or fold. We don't quit around here. Giving up isn't an option. Probably the thing I talk about most online is the perseverance and the resilience that's necessary to achieve greatness and success and how hard it is. I think there's a lot of bullshit on social media that make life look better than it's supposed to be and entrepreneurship and business and success easier than it actually is yeah you know what i mean so i try to just tell people the truth of like listen yeah i made a lot of money i've done everything you can do with money five times i've bought everything you can buy of you know had a lot of success it has been 20 years of getting my teeth kicked in too that's what you don't see there it is so don't look at the airplane and the boat like oh it must be so nice you have no idea that's the highlight reel man a hundred percent And so, you know, it's hard, difficult, and challenging.

1:09:10Eric Spofford:It was hard, difficult, and challenging getting there. And at this level, it's still hard, difficult, and challenging. It hasn't been easy for a day yet. Let you guys know when I find easy. Yeah, when you're dead. Yeah. Because there's nothing left to do. Yeah, always stop. Yeah, and that's the thing. It's never going to get easy. It's just a new problem. Every level. They call it, what, new level, new devil? Yeah. It is what it is. New levels and devils, for sure. That's a great, great definition. Thank you again for coming. Yeah, great time. I really appreciate you, man. Absolutely amazing to meet you.

1:09:40Congrats on everything. And I know there's going to be a lot more coming from you. So for the audience, check out my boy Eric on Instagram. Dig into him and get involved. I know he has a book out. So figure out just Google's name and buy that dang thing and learn from this man. And until next time, stay determined.