Alex Boylan | Breaking Limits With Discipline and Determination

24:44And I was like, wait, you get paid to do what you're doing. I was like, what is this? You know, cause back then I was never exposed to it. And they're like, oh, I'm a producer. I'm like, well, what does a producer do? This looks awesome. And so for me, yes, I wanted to win. I'm competitive, but it was all about, like that gave me the opportunity. I saw a job. I was like, oh, I'm gonna do that for the rest of my life. Whatever these travel producers are doing, that looks awesome. And I've been chasing that high, Sean, to this day. See, that's what's amazing to me. And that's what I really respect about you because you said you were lost, you're in the Caribbean.

25:13You kind of like, what am I gonna do with my life? And you took an opportunity to take a risk and go do the show, but you found what you love. Yeah. And that's why I always, like, I talk to my kids and I talk to people that I mentor a little bit, like, don't judge any situation. Go in there and just be present because you don't know what's going to come out of it. You built your whole career based on that. Yeah. Lots of great advice on what you just said, right? It's like sometimes you find your, some of the best opportunities in my life from college tour, because I was like kind of down and out before college tour.

25:44Like, you know, if you've been in the entertainment business long enough, most people aren't riding out here. It's just kind of rollercoaster. I feel like I spend most of my time here. I mean, listen, me too. I mean, like it's this rollercoaster and most people have really been in the trenches for long periods of time. We'll tell you the exact same thing. Very few people are just like hanging at this level. So, but every time in the bottom of a trough is when something like I was in the bottom of a trough of Life and Amazing Race hit. You know, I was kind of COVID was hitting, you know, this past business I was working on.

26:12what's the show was not working called dream jobbing really. And then college tour came out of it. So sometimes you got to kind of be in the sock, you know? And, and also I think it makes you appreciate the, at least for me, as I reflect on, it's probably God's lesson of teaching me to like, just to be positive, you know, it's, it's, and appreciate every little thing along the way. Yeah, man, gratitude goes along the way, doesn't it? Totally. So you traveled the world, right? Yeah. Spending zero dollars. Yeah. Yeah. that's a crazy concept to me. Yeah, totally. It's like the original vlogger. Yeah.

26:47Like how did, how did that happen? Like, how did you, so I met you, you hitchhiking or you, are you, what are you doing for food? Are you washing dishes? Okay. So yeah, so I should tee it up. This is around the world for free. We're talking about, right? So it's the first online interactive show kind of ever produced. And if, if, how long do you want this story? But I'll back up just a second. I hear it, baby. Just to see where I'm at. So I'm, I'm, I'm hosting shows. So my career is kind of starting off. Um, it's after amazing race. Um, I'm down shooting a surf documentary in El Salvador. Right.

27:19And everything goes wrong. Like the, a hurricane like hits the coastline volcanoes erupt and it's like an earthquake. So like they put us in this hotel and they put us in this like a little hotel where we're staying in this hotel. They took our security away. It's pretty gnarly where we're kind of filming and, um, they're like, don't move out of this hotel until we bring security back. And so we're in this town called La Libertad. And, uh, you look behind our hotels, it's like favela, right. It's kind of like shanty, you know, you know, tougher area, let's call it. They say it. And so the whole time, every local is like, if you go up there, you'll die.

27:53Keep saying this over and over. Holy shit. And so Jolt Luca, one of my guys I've filmed around the world with, we're both kind of sitting back and we're kind of like laughing, like drinking beers and like, what, we're going to die by walking up there. Yeah. And so we said, all right, when this, when the storm clears, let's try to make it to the top of the mountain without dying. Like we kind of make this bet to each other like that. Right. And, uh, and so right before we go, Joel grabs the camera. So, you know, and so we're still not back filming this documentary that we're doing at the time. And so he's like, I'm going to film you.

28:22Right. I'm like, all right, cool. So I just start walking to see what happens. Right. What do you think happens? People are like, Oh, no, like gringos ever walked up into that community ever before. And they're like, come on next. You know, I'm being invited inside. There's like, uh, the ovens are trash cans cutting half there. They don't even have much food, but they're bringing up food and trying to cook for us. And we're like going through this labyrinth of houses and five. It's just a funky play. I've never seen it before. And Joltz is following with this camera. So all the stuff we had like spent time pre-producing and all this stuff, the most exciting thing that happens is this raw moment, like living with locals.

28:55Right. So that one idea kind of sticks. It's like, oh man, what happens when you kind of like, don't plan anything and just try to force yourself to live with locals. And that's the beginning of around the world for free. Right. And so, um, I'm, I'm actually working with primary film and television, doing a bunch of shows, this idea, I can, and usually I'm sure this happens to you when, when I'm waking up in the middle of night, thinking about something I know, and I'm a lot better about it now knowing that's a good idea. This thing's burning a hole in my head, man, I could, I think I could make it around the world with no money, just live that way.

29:27And like, let's go tell the story at that point, not to knock the shows that I'm hosting. I'm very grateful for those shows, but imagine I'm giving a script show up here, do that. Kind of like a parrot, right? Okay. Sounds good. I'll do this. You're just kind of told what to do. And I love the raw, like I loved amazing race and the rawness and just being with real people, seeing what happens. And so kind of go back to LA with this idea, like armed and, uh, join up with this guy named Burton Roberts. We've been business partners for 20 plus years. And, uh, with this idea, I was like the, let's, let's do this show.

29:58Originally, it was just this kind of make it around the world. And then Facebook's not out yet. YouTube's comes out. YouTube's just starting. Right. And I was like, Oh man, could this be like short form? Can we do this on? Could we do like, you know, could we shoot the show kind of like live? And so anyway, that's the beginning of like, now it's like we all do it on our cell phones every single day with social media. That doesn't exist. Right. So we set off with this mission. Can we make this? It's so out of the box. I mean, Burton and I were getting kicked out of every single room. Like, Oh, it's cool.

30:28It's interesting. What is it again? It's online. Like no one really got it and kept hearing no after no after no. Got this one no, but felt like a yes from this gentleman named Gen Maynard who is credited with bringing Survivor, Amazing Race and all the big, like basically creating Rally TV with inside the network. And we had met with him and it was the second time he said, no, but he wrote me this awesome email. And I'm a young producer at this point in time. He goes, Alex, this reminds me of the early days of Survivor where everyone did not get it and didn't understand it became this juggernaut.

30:56He's like, it's a no from CBS again, but I think you should go do it. And so it was almost like enough of like, So it was getting these like tiny, sometimes in life, you just need those tiny wins, right? Just someone validating you or agreeing or thinking you can do it. So, um, and eventually it's a long story, but this lady named Anna O 'Grady, who I owe so much of my career to. She's the head of marketing at CBS. We get this meeting with her and she's like, why isn't CBS doing this? And, and she funnels us to the CBS early show. And so we set off, we built the website at that point in time, which you could do on a Facebook page right now.

31:24Cost us like 150 grand just to upload like a, you know, a two minute video and then have someone be able to write a message just to try to build that, just understand like the time period we are in and the technology that was needed. It was so out of the box. Um, but the CBS early show, we get this meeting with the executive producer there. We go and do the whole dog and this is what the show is going to be about. I'm going to leave. I have no, no money, but everyone's going to be able to check in with me every single day. And I'll never, I like, I'll never forget it. The guy like leans back in his chair.

31:52He's like smoking a stoke. And he's like, there's never been a stunt. I don't like kid. You got the early show and I'll never forget that moment. And so we had, So now we have the early show that's willing to follow us every single, do live check-in. So that was enough like big media to be like, all right, let's do this thing. So we kind of bootstrapped it. Joel Luca, one camera guy. I mean, our backpacks were so heavy walking off the CBS show with one mission. Can we make it around the world using the help of the online? Like basically living with locals the whole way through the, through the help of the online community.

32:19And, and fortunately that once again, it's like, it worked, you know? Wow. Yeah. 16 countries, 45 ,000 miles went down like the East coast of the U S through the Caribbean. into Venezuela, West coast of South America, up the East coast of Africa, across Southeast Asia, all like living with monks, live with locals. Every one of those we could have a podcast about. So it was like just a crazy journey. And we broke the backs of a new, honestly, that's what launched Around the World Productions for my life, the next 10 years because no one was doing online interactive content. So that CBS came in, we did two more seasons of that show.

32:52And then Rachel Ray shows like, hey, can you do that for our audience? And we became Around the World Productions basically in the 2000s became that go-to, you know, what everyone is now run and gun guerrilla type of like filming and short form contact near real time. And it was a really fun time. Yeah. I'm hearing all the destinations and I am also, what's not lost on me is a difference in culture and how, you know, Americans are viewed. What was that experience like, you know, for you going through Venezuela, going through all those different countries? and that it's a little because 2008 when we launched the first season around the world but you know it's fresh on a memory just to give everyone some context of time 9-11 is not too far from right and that changed the you know fabric of you know is the world safe and all you know what i mean so there was just people good out there everyone's bad so it's just interesting time kind of not too far against what's happening culturally right now a little bit but anyway So that was a big thing because I had been fortunate to, you know, prior in my life, live in Brazil and Germany and kind of see the world.

33:59That was a big mission that I thought was a misconception of both Americans and probably citizens worldwide is like 99 % of the population on planet earth is good. Yeah. And they all want to do the same thing, break some bread with you, share some stories and learn about each other's culture. It's like this tiny minute population that kind of screw things up a little bit. But so that was a little bit of the mission that we were setting off to be. If I was going to get into the philosophy of things is like, let's prove that people are kind of good out there. And so, yeah, culturally, I mean, yeah, I mean, we were in Venezuela.

34:32I mean, it's interesting what's happening right now down there because Chavez was in power. And that's really the guy who kind of like, you know, turn this in a very socialistic and near dictatorship country. And we told the story of two different, you know, via around the world for free. Half the time I stayed with this guy who's packing his family up. he's ready to roll he's like i can see everything that's happening here we got to go and then another guy that's like here why you leave like you know i mean we can't have all the good people like leaving stay let's make changes venezuela it's our country and so it was it was a really fun time to tell those two different stories two different paths of um and then yeah it was crazy man i mean he took i think we're talking about last night but i we took from caracas it was supposed to be like three or four days, but it ended up being like a eight day bus track with, I'm talking chickens, goats, and everyone.

35:18And half these people, they're like smug. I'm like, I actually helped. There's a, there's a shot of me taking these two young girls across the border. Cause everyone's trying to get out of Venezuela at that point in time. And, uh, and that bus went from Caracas, Venezuela to Lima, Peru. So I think Columbia, Ecuador, just breaking down every five seconds. And so I was like, yeah, what was supposed to be 48 hours turned into like seven days, but it was a hell of an adventure. I went to South America for the very first time in July. We went to my wife's home country. We went to Quito, Ecuador. And that was my favorite vacation I've ever had.

35:47I didn't want to go home. I wanted to stay, man. Playing in volcanic water, looking at volcanoes and the Andes Mountains. Beautiful country, man. Beautiful. Got a really good question for you. We go through life experiences and it shapes who we are. We learn different lessons in different seasons. what did amazing race to and you know travel around the world for free teach you about yourself other than what you found that you wanted to do starting something new is straight up scary i remember thinking what if this fails what if nobody listens but taking that leap changed everything and having shopify on your side makes it a whole lot easier get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready-to-use templates to build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style.

36:35Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you with easy email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. Best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world-class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. It's time to turn those what-ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your$1 per month trial today at shopify.com slash TDS. Go to shopify.com slash TDS. That's shopify.com slash TDS. Yeah, I think, and it's funny not to plug my book here, Sean. We're going to get to it. I'm not trying to, but it's kind of like the ethos.

37:24And it took me to write the book to learn this about myself. um and that's where i i talk so much about like just what happened from a young age and it incrementally grew because the story starts back you know my dad we don't need to go there but like i had some really cool experiences happen as a kid and so for me i got really and i still am very comfortable being uncomfortable and in that moment and where i think i personally thrive is where I'm a little nervous. You know what I mean? And I pull this off. Yeah. But I'm feeling alive as hell. I was just thinking the same thing. And it's this magical place that's hard to get to, right?

38:03But if you can find that sweet spot, for me, that's what I learned about myself from all those moments. Because you're just like, can I pull this off? Is this going to work? Is everyone going to think I'm a fraud? You know, like I walked off the CBS earlier show. Our technology, by the way, is like half working because so many people could come from the CBS earlier show on our website. It's like breaking down. I'm like not even getting messages. And so I'm just like, oh my gosh. I'm like, this whole thing would just like blow up. So if I told you how many times in my life, like I just thought the whole thing was going to blow up in my face and you just got to like, keep it cool.

38:32One foot in front of the other, hang in the game as long as possible. And one of the, that's a piece of advice I tell most people in the world of entertainment when they want to get into that. They're like, oh, I want to, you know, production doesn't matter, whatever it is. I'm like, just hang in the game. Half of it's just staying. If you can stay in the game long enough, you'll probably be successful, you know, but too many people, you know, if you, as you know, the statistic, you know, after one year and after five years, it'd be just hanging the game. Yeah. And, uh, you know, it's, it's funny because you talk about, you got really comfortable with being uncomfortable and I live in that energy constantly.

39:05And I always ask myself and ask, you know, Pat, Dan, Roman, Matt, and in production, like, you think I can pull this off? Like what if I don't, but those moments where I feel like I'm backed up against that corner. Yeah. Like that's where I operate the best because that's when you just, I guess you take action and you move because our brain is wired to keep us safe. Yeah. There's a lot of people that go, okay, this is risky. There's too much fear here. I'm going to stay where I'm comfortable. But, but for me, if I stay where I'm comfortable, I w I wouldn't be up at 4am this morning, going to the gym and, and, you know, and doing what I, I'd be, I'd be sleeping in, having the, you know, shitty food in the morning, just that's comfortable.

39:50But for me, when I'm comfortable, I die inside, you know, like literally I don't make the best decisions. So I can really relate to the being uncomfortable. Like, you know, I, I just think it's something so special that I wish more people and for the audience listening is find that uncomfort and marinate in that shit. Yeah. Because that's where it is, right? That's where you learn so much about yourself. And that's where you make the most progress in your life. Amen. Couldn't say that better myself. So while we're on the book. Couldn't agree. Couldn't agree. Yeah. So the miles that make you, this is a really cool memoir.

40:28There's something I want to read to you from the back of your book because I really relate to it. And I can think of many times in my life, and I hope I don't get emotional when I'm talking about this or reading with it, because it's not the words, it's the meaning. Okay. Um, and, and here it is for you in the audience. It's not about the weight of the backpack you start with.

40:51It's about what you do with it, how you carry it, where you take it and who you become along the way. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Thanks. That's heavy. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and where that, where that comes from and, and where I start this whole journey. Cause I can't, I'm not, I wouldn't be, you wouldn't be where you are without the good, bad, hard ugliness that's happened prior to it. Um, my dad was a pastor, one of four kids grew up on the North shore of Boston. We had zero money. You know what I mean? So I opened this book of like being with my mom. Like I didn't know what new clothes were. I might cry.

41:30Um, new clothes were probably until 15. You know what I mean? Everything I was handing out to my brother, or I would go into the Goodwill closet of the church, you know what I mean? Where people would like donate stuff. I would do my own shopping there with my mom, you know? And so like, and by the way, I think that is one of the miles that did make me. If it wasn't for that, I don't think I would have been so hungry to be successful because I just, you know, wanted, it wasn't, by the way, my not having money growing up, I don't, like, it was awesome. You know, my parents loved me. I had so many blessings, you know, from growing up, but um, so I kind of started all, you know, start the whole book from that one place because just because I didn't, and I use it as an analogy, especially with college students.

42:11Now it's like, I can't sit here and I speak at a lot of colleges. I don't know where you're all coming from. You know what I mean? Some of you guys are given, you know, um, your backpacks are light. There's nothing there. You know what I mean? It's been, you know, uh, your life's been kind of planned out or prepped as best as possible for you, man. Others of you, you got no parents. You know, you got no parents, you know, you had no money or you're like, God knows what you had gone to, to get to where you are sitting in that seat right now. Does that make sense? And so when I look at that, like, it's not about that is not going to define you.

42:43I don't care what you had when you grew up, you know, it matters like, what are the moves you're making in life to, you know, hopefully be fulfilled, hopefully make this planet, leave it better than you found it. All those pieces that make sense. And so I, I, once again, I can't speak on every one of these college students and where they're coming from, I can just say, like, this is, I started every speech and like, this is where I came from. Don't feel bad for me. Yeah. Cause a lot of you guys went through 10 times harder things than I've gone through. And there's other people have 10 times lighter backpack.

43:11We can't control that. It's life. Get over it. Right. Well, you can control this is where you are right now. This is the set of circumstances that you were born with. What are you going to do now? So, man, I love that. You know, one of my biggest fears as a parent, and I, I always thought like, I don't want to make it too comfortable for them. Right. Because they have a much more comfortable life than I had, than I had, you know, and I had a lot growing up, right. We were, you know, middle-class, my dad worked his ass off and, you know, I had everything that I needed, you know, but the big thing was, is when I, when I read that and it, it, it shifted my perspective to like, man, I got to add some weight to these kids' backpacks, right.

43:51Like in, in some constructive way, like, I don't want to fabricate adversity for them, but I want them to go through hard shit. You know, I want them to go through the heartbreaks of certain things through sports or school, or even just relationships with their peers, because without that weight in the backpack, it, you, you, you don't grow a threshold to get through the serious things in your life. When you get to corporate America, maybe your company dissolves and now you don't have a job. A lot of people, if you don't go through shit, you're not going to have any resilience to pick that back up and figure it out.

44:27Yeah. Amen. Yeah. I think about a lot with my son, I mean, he's young, but I, you know, you, you want, you want, like, it's really good to do hard things, you know? And, uh, I'm sure you've heard of some of these things, especially with boys, which is sad, this failure to launch. And a grant, I know they had COVID and there's like, you know, there's something that's been happening. That was a movie too. It was a good one. Oh, failure to launch. Okay. But like that, like that with like, you know, I'm sure it's happening to girls too, but boys just not like moving on, like going crush life. Right.

45:00What's happened here. And I don't know, I'm a psychologist, but as I think about it, I think about it for my boy too. And like the, you know, I had a lot of freedom as a kid. My parents weren't out my butt about stuff, you know, figure it out. you know like that was the story and i and i i tell stories of just i grew up on the north shore of boston just from like being in like sixth grade or riding my bike three miles to my buddy's house like what went through my brain i was like if i go down the street those two guys are going to kick my ass they're older all right i better go through the woods here like what went through my brain in sixth grade just to get from point a to point b was a lot of thought and i i think you know life's pretty safe right now in a lot of different ways and so um anyway it's it's good to one of the things that I bring up another early story.

45:44And unless I wrote this book, I don't think I would have found the correlation between this. And I hope this helps with the story and analogy, but I get this offer. It doesn't matter, but I have to get this in my brand. I'm going to be a foreign exchange student, moved to Brazil. Right. And my mom was amazing. She was, we didn't have any money, but they were any idea I had, they were like, let's go try to figure out how to make it happen. So that was the biggest blessing I could have ever had growing up. And so she comes up with this idea. It's like$5 ,000 to us. That could have been$5 million.

46:09dollars. And she goes, all right, I can buy these advent calendars, right? I can buy 5 ,000 or whatever it was, 2 ,000, 3 ,000 of these things. And if you sell them, you know what I mean? It's going to cost$1 ,000 to buy them. You go sell each one X amount of costs. We'll be able to fund your trip. And so my mom sets me up and I remember these boxes came and filled this room right now. And I was like, oh my gosh. And so I became this like one man advent calendar, 14 year old selling machine. You sold 2000. Knocking on doors. Right. Yeah. And, and, uh, and, and so that one, unless I wrote the book, it was like, that was really hard.

46:43Yeah. Really hard. It took me like a year, you know what I mean? Every single day and like sitting outside of grocery stores at 14, like trying to hawk these things, everybody would buy it. Right. There's this kid again. She said, just buy one, just buy one. And it was so embarrassing. My mom would be at like football games. Like send Alex to Brazil. Like a big sign hawking candy away from the actual concession stand. Like she didn't care. Anyway, and it was, um, but I, I learned so much. And as I, if it wasn't for writing the book, thinking about that moment, learning that skillset of like, Hey, it's going to be hard to suck.

47:14It's going to be uncomfortable. Right. Learned your pitch, all kinds of stuff I learned in that process. So, you know, I, I think about my little boy and when he goes, as soon as he old enough, like I'm going to add that lemonade. If it's anything, I'm going to teach you. You're going to know how to go door to door, man. Is that there's anything you're going to need to do in life is sell one thing or another. If you can get the skill set of selling, you'll probably be all right. See, that's a great point, right? Because as you're going door to door as a 14-year-old, that is an intimidating situation.

47:43You're opening the door to some happy people, some upset people because you're interrupting dinner and they don't want to buy shit. Totally. But it's like you learn interpersonal communication. You learn the sales techniques. techniques, you learn how to not sell something, but provide a value to somebody or just be super kind. And they're like, Oh, I feel bad for this kid. I want him to go to Brazil so he can enrich his life, you know, buy the damn calendar. Whatever the reasoning is you, you had to go through the process and do that hard thing. Yeah. I know adults that won't go door to door.

48:16Totally. Well, I think it's funny as I, and I have, the more we're sitting here talking about and I'm thinking about it, it's like, you know what you're also learning? You're learning to read the room really fast. And I think there's something with all the social media and technology, you everything you know it's like it's important as we talk about our kids it's like i want them to have social intelligence read the room buddy yeah like i understand what's happening here because i think that is going to be a skill set you know back in my day if you were and not to knock my friends that were communication majors but that was kind of known like oh took communication was like almost like a joke right it's like hey i'm just now i look at it now it's probably one of the most vital skills you can go get because you're not getting it in life so much and you got to learn to communicate with people so now and have a conversation like we're having and read the room dude eq is so important emotional intelligence uh my son who's 12 he has that is built in for him like two years old dude like two i was having a bad day he come up and it was you know he'd always hug me you know and and come up to me but on the days i was having a bad day even still he'll come up and he'll sit right next to me you know and he'll put his hand on my on my leg i'm like thank you buddy i needed that he goes i know oh it's like dude it's oh my gosh i know Oh, man.

49:24How great is that? Yeah. Now my middle daughter, a little different. The gang and gang going on. Yeah. She, you know, not knowing how to read a room yet, but very highly intelligent. And my youngest is very emotionally connected. She's an empath. And that, so is my wife. So it scares me because I know what that looks like. Yeah. But, but yeah, man, I think emotional intelligence and learning how to read a room and knowing what to say around who and how far you can go, where's the line. I typically can find that out within five to 10 minutes. Yeah. Right. And it's a gift. It's something that I've worked on because trust me, I've been on the other side of that shit too, where I've said the wrong thing in the wrong room at the wrong time in front of the wrong people and it blew up in my face.

50:05But you, you have to make those mistakes. And I think it's truly important to understand that mistakes are there to lead us. Failures are there to lead us, not temper our growth. Totally. I think it's important. I agree more, couldn't agree more. Yeah. I mean like that, that, and I would say that trip, cause there's, I, and I, I had this to like my Max God, my, my son's godfather. I'm like, Hey, listen, something happens to me. I got two non-negotiables for this kid. It's it. One, you will do a foreign exchange when you're in high school and you'll do another one in college because that trip to Brazil, you know, granted it's, it's the nineties.

50:38Yeah. Nine flights going into like, my parents are going to call me once a month,$600 in traveler's checks stuck to I mean, it was like a second year. Yeah, totally. That's what it was like. What happens of growth? I came back to high school in America. I was like, oh my gosh, like I have more experience in life than these teachers do. And so what happened in that was huge. And then being able to get to do that in college, those two experiences are non-negotiables for my son. That's badass. You're going to get out there. You're going to get on comfort. You learn a lot when you get outside your comfort zone, living in another culture.

51:11And so yeah. I found from some advent calendars. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Was it the candy ones? The chocolate, chocolate ones. Yes. I can still see it. I can still see selling this thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's hysterical. You know, I always find too, when we're talking about doing the uncomfortable thing, like, you know, traveling and learning about other cultures and doing what you did and what you're acquiring of your son, the fears that we do have about certain situations, most of them never come to pass. Yeah. Right. We worry about things before they happen. and we make it a reality when in reality, probably not going to happen.

51:45You're going to have a better experience than you anticipated. Yeah. You know, it's interesting to me. Oh yeah. We put a lot in our own. Humans are interesting. Yeah. I was thinking about when you were talking about something of like getting things over the goal lines. I find my selfies and some, like I'm a big, like do three or four things a day. Kind of like short checklist, right? I'm with you. Super tight. Like, oh, I'm going to accomplish these. This is my number one task. And here's my two or three other things I want to get done to. And I'll call it, I'll call it a win. And sometimes like, why is it that I'll go to these easier tech, you know, this is the one that's going to move the needle with the business.

52:16This is the one that's going to move the needle and I'll find myself procrastinating. I'm always like, what the hell is that? Yeah. You know, what is that? There's something in, in the DNA that. Yeah. It's just resistance and it's just resistance. But the important thing is that you, you complete it. Like, I don't believe anything needs to be done in an order, right? If you have, you know, a moment where, you know, you have one, two, three, four things to do, but the number one thing that you have to do, it's a little heavy for you right now. do the other tasks. Right. And I also do believe do the hard thing first, but the hard thing could be so many things.

52:45It could be getting up and reading. It could be getting up and walking, lifting weights or whatever that is. So you prep your mind to do the hard shit before you need to do it. But sometimes I will find myself the hardest part of my day, the hardest part of the work task for all this. I will wait until I'm mentally ready to do it because I know if I'm not present in that moment, I'm not ready to execute it. I'm going to shit the bed. Like it's not going to work. Right. So I have to be ready to do it. Well said, I take your advice on that. Yeah, dude. I mean, it happens. You said something interesting last night and it said a lot about you.

53:21I already liked you. You know, we've been communicating for a while. First time we met in person yesterday, which I felt like I already knew you. Like, Hey, great to meet you in person. I'm like, fuck, we haven't met. Like what's going on? Um, that's just the power of connection and alignment, right? Starting something new is straight up scary. I remember thinking, what if this fails? What if nobody listens? But taking that leap changed everything and having Shopify on your side makes it a whole lot easier. Get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready to use templates to build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style.

53:53Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you with easy email and social media campaigns, wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. Best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world-class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. It's time to turn those what-ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your$1 per month trial today at shopify.com slash TDS. Go to shopify.com slash TDS. That's Shopify.com slash TDS. But you talked about your premise of writing the book and why you did it. And I thought it was so selfless and heartwarming.

54:43I want you to share that with the audience because most people write books, including myself, right? Because it's an authority thing. You have a book, then you have something, you're an expert on a certain subject and you can leverage that in your business and in your show or whatever it is. But yours was so wholesome, man. I want you to share that. Do you want me to go the whole story with Ashley and everything? Yeah, man. Might as well. Okay. So it's not like I haven't thought about writing a book. I've thought about it. Didn't really have a main purpose to do it. But I'd say it's been lingering in the back of the head, kind of like, I should probably do that at some point in time.

55:19um, but why, how all that was not, not, not existent, but with the college tours, I'll start up right now. You know, I'm on two college campuses a week. I'm talking to thousands of college kids all the time being asked to speak. And so there's a little bit of me being like, oh man, like I've kind of learned what they need to hear. Right. And it's a little bit about like, here's my story. Here's a life lessons I learned along the way. And then if I was sitting in your shoes right this second, this is what I would do to make sure you're teeing yourself up for a dream job. That's kind of what I do in let's call it my speeches or workshops.

55:48Um, so that started kind of resonating like, Oh, that could be interesting as a book. Anyway, really it's another human. The name's Ashley Spence. She worked for us on around the world for free. She's amazing. And she, um, she writes this book and my business partner, Burton calls up and said, you got to read her book. So I read her books, horrible story. She was horribly raped, um, in college and what she had to go through. And she's in the process of changing these laws across the country from her book. And it's, it's, it's empowering. It's, it's horrific. It's empowering. It's like every type of emotion.

56:15So I call her up and I was just like, actually, I imagine she's like working with around the world for free. I had no idea that this happened to her and call her. So I'm like, I'm just so sorry. I don't even know what to say. And I was like, also like that book, I mean, I loved everything about it. It was like a hundred, it was short, snackable, you can get to it. And it was like, exactly. Right. It wasn't like war and peace. And it was just so well-written and how it like tied together. So, and she was like, oh yeah. Like, And she kind of gave me the blueprint of what she did to kind of get that over the goal line.

56:41So now it's like really in my head. And so I was like, yeah, I've been thinking about it. And she kind of, she goes, Alex, you got to do it. Got to write your books. So now it's like the first human I kind of say it out loud to. And sometimes you need, and she's saying, you got to move forward. And so as I'm thinking about all the different, like, oh, how can this help my business? This could be a great thing to have. I can scale my speeches kind of things and all for the business side of it. But then I step back and I'm looking at my parents are in there like, you know, mid to late eighties now.

57:07right? Love them to death. I dedicate the book to them. They hear the stories, but they really understand like what happened, what the influence I, they, they had on me. And I, and, and I sit in this other thing and I have a one year old son. So I sit in this like really interesting place in life where my parents are, you know, to the point where it's like, they need an extra help and they're at this era of life and I have the son in this other era of life. You know what I mean? And it's just, I don't even have a word to describe it, Sean. I'm like, I just sit in this very weird place where I'm two people, family, that means so much to me on either end of the spectrums of life.

57:41Right. And I was like, nah, I got to do it. Like that becomes the motivation because I'm like, okay, I want my parents to know the story and I want my son to have his North Star and guiding light. You know what I mean? And so that becomes like, you know, cause it's, it's, you know, with everything else you got going on, as you know, you know, I'm, I'm busy. Yeah. And so that becomes like, you know, you can ask my wife, that becomes like, you know, nine o 'clock, I'm going back to the office and working to one, you know, for a few months to get that over the goal line. So, but I am so happy I did it because the best thing I ever got me, obviously my son can't read yet.

58:12So hopefully down the road he will. And that's, and that became my why. I said it all the time. I don't know if it was a defense mechanism, but I said, if there's three people who read it, I'll call this. It was all worth it. My parents and my son read the book. I'll call it a win. So that became like this, like, who cares what happens to the book? Yeah. That becomes my why, you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm pushing forward. So, yeah. It's beautiful, man. Yeah, thanks. Well, I mean, I feel like if we start doing things for our own gain, right, or we have the goal of doing something big, but it's for me or for you, right, we can tend to back off of that a little bit and negotiate with ourselves at times.

58:46But when it's for a bigger purpose and it's for someone else, the accountability portion is so much greater and the completion actually happens because you're wanting to give somebody something. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, man. Yeah, that was it. Like I'd say like that one of the happiest moments was like within. So before and I didn't tell anyone, I think the agency I'm working with, Freeling Agency, they're awesome. my wife my two business partners on college like no one knew I was doing this so when it was done and that was another thing I was like I don't know once again another thing maybe defense mechanism I didn't know if I was going to get this thing over the goal line how it was all going to come together so when my family found out I was like hey this is going to be released in a week you all have copies coming to you in the mail you know what I mean they didn't even know what was happening so imagine my first people I wanted to read this thing was my parents So my mom's like, oh my gosh.

59:40And I dedicated. So like the next day she calls, she's like, I read it twice. That just meant the world to me. You know? She's like, it was awesome, Alex. She goes, obviously I'm in it tons and you, you know, you sing my praises. So she feels like a star. And so, so wait. Dude, you're validating the love that they gave you and what they taught you as they were raising you. Totally. And they, and they model great behavior for you. Yeah. Right. And now you're able to give that to your son. Yeah. I just think it's, I think it'll be all right. I think so. I think you'll be all right, man. You know, you're doing, you're doing just fine.

1:00:09doing just fine. You know, like, dude, it's, it's so crazy. Cause I'm sitting here, you know, you know, I was telling Pat, we were talking about it before. Like we got it and we've talked about it. Like, I just love doing things with you. I love talking with you and we got to find a way to do some shit. Yeah. It'll be really fun. Where can the people pick up the book, man? Is there a website? Yeah. I mean, uh, they can get it anywhere you get your books though. Amazon, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Alex Boylan.com. Okay. I'd say those are my two kinds of plays, Alex Boylan.com to get the book. And then that's amazing.

1:00:42Yeah. That's amazing. What's next for you, dude? You know, what's funny and I, okay. So I such a loaded question. Yeah. It's a, it's a, it's a great question. I write this in the book. Cause I didn't know how to like, Oh, the last chapter is a letter to my son, Mac. Cause he's just born. Right. So it's like, kind of like everything I've learned in life. I kind of pack it to the end. I'm like, Hey brother, Here's your, here's your, here's your steps. Here's what I'm going to advise you on. Hope you can like live on that. And then, um, but I write because it's like, I don't have an angle and you know, some people have an angle and like, to me, I love living John.

1:01:16Like I love it. And so to me, as long as I'm going to keep chasing, trying to be excited about whatever the hell I'm excited about right now, it's been amazing building the college tour. I hope to God that number goes away. I want to keep building that, but like, dude, I want to have a beach ranch in Costa Rica and have like a, you know, and run a hospitality cause I love people, you know? And so I have a dream of having my own, like, you know, bed and breakfast on a surf break with the goats and rams running around. So where I go in life, like, I don't, I don't know, but I don't, I definitely, I don't know what's next.

1:01:48I don't know what the end goal is. It's like, to me, it's like, I'm just want to keep chasing. I've been blessed to have fun. It's a lot of work, A lot of heartache, lots ups and downs. Sure. I've loved the journey. And to me, what was fun about writing that book is like, man, that was the first great, the first, first chapter of my life has been pretty awesome. Yeah. How do I do this in the back half? You know what I mean? So how do I do this on the back nine? What does that look like? Well, one thing I'll tell you is Matt loves bed and breakfast. So he'll be there. All right. He'll be there.

1:02:18Hey, listen, you know, it's time. I think, I think he stayed in a word hostile here in Naples. You know, if I can, I don't know. I don't know what he's doing over there. I thought about driving by just to make sure he was okay. But he doesn't share his location with me, which you need to start doing so I can check on you from time to time. But yeah, man, no, I just really feel that you chase experience and you chase feelings. Yeah. And, you know, I do have an end goal, which I think sometimes hurts me, right? But I also chase the feelings inside of those moments just so I know I'm on the right track.

1:02:53because if we set too many North stars, like this is the angle, this is where I'm going to end up. And I want to be there by this time. Then if you don't get there by that time, you're upset and you feel like you failed yourself. But if you don't get it to completion, then you tend to feel like it's a failure, but there's so many other things involved. And the one thing that I really want to stress the audience to, to, to hang on to is you said you love living. And I think we're in a time right now where people struggle with that. There's a lot of mental health issues going around. You know, social media has, you know, for me, blessed my life.

1:03:32But for some, they get stuck in the comparison thing and their mental health and their wellness goes down the hill, goes down, you know, goes down whatever. But learning to love to live, I think is such an important statement because that's what we're here to do. and we have all these amazing people that, you know, like. How cool is it? There's 8 billion people. Like life would be, the fact that we argue as countries or people even within the U.S., dude, this is what makes life awesome. You know, if we all were the exact same, thought the same, looked the same, did the same, ate the same food, that'd be boring.

1:04:10It'd be boring. It's like, come on, everyone, can we get over it a little bit? You guys were all over me last night for not having a drink and not eating desserts. I was like, damn, I feel shamed. It's like I pissed in the corner and everybody's like, no, bad dog. but no but that's the thing though you have to have those contrasts right yeah and that's what's beautiful about it i i truly enjoy that yeah it was it was this crazy i was telling um matt yesterday and i want to share it because and i don't mean it in an arrogant way i mean it in a sense of it's just it was a big moment for me yesterday and i'm going to get to it but it humbled the shit out of me i'm sitting there thinking you know hey i'm wondering if these guys because you know i'm old i'm 47 i'm like after my son's soccer game they won eight nothing by the way championship tomorrow i'm really oh yeah i'm so jacked for him oh it's awesome um cannot wait for that stage it's gonna be a blast have fun caravanning um but uh just ask pat he knows he you know because soccer you know like it's saturday every but i'll be soccer dad all day long oh yeah it's cool man because i don't know shit about it so i just enjoy it yeah why is he off sides like he just beat the guy like isn't that the point anyway i digress so i was thinking you know i wonder if some of these guys are just gonna bail out they've been traveling i'm kind of tired and i'm like no no and then and then i'm i kind of laughed at myself i'm driving down the road and i'm like then it hit me when i first started this show and started everything i'm doing there was nobody there was nobody around and it was just me you know and at times it felt like i was a martyr i was like oh i'm just this is me i'm doing this all by myself and there's no there's no audience there's no nothing but then i realized something special yesterday everybody in the audience can't see but everybody here in this room is here because of what i created oh cool that and awesome it, it hit me right in the heart.

1:06:10And, and like I said, I didn't feel it in an arrogant way. Oh, they're here for me. No, no, no, no. I'm like, oh, they're here for me. That's impact. That's emotional. That is something that means so much to me. And you were a part of that. So thank you. Well, yeah, I appreciate it. I appreciate it. It's an honor to, to be here. Thanks for having me on and everything you're built. And I know that, And like, you're so great at being vulnerable and just speaking the truth because nothing starts great. It all starts from nothing. It starts from shit, man. I know. Terrible. And it's good that you talk about that because that's the reality.

1:06:50Yeah. And congrats on everything you're building here. It's awesome. Thank you, man. Much more to come, dude. Much more to come. Lots of fun collabs. And, you know, me and you, we'll do some stuff with the teams. And, uh, you know, um, but thank you for traveling all the way out here with all the planes you hop on. You got a young son and a wife and, and you have a life. And, and so when you come out here, it means something to me and I really do appreciate it. I'm a big, and I think like, just like, it's important that we get together in person. It's awesome. The technologies that are around anymore.

1:07:24And, uh, we're talking about before we started recording, it's so important to get together in person. It's everything, man. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, you're talking about the mental health like that. Get together in person. That's going to help you. You know what I mean? You talk to, talk to someone face to face. It's a great, it's a great thing. Another thing that I've done with this whole, I am social media as a tool and all these great things, but I got an old Nokia phone. Oh wow. You can play snake with it. Yeah. You can play snake with it. And, uh, certain weekends I'll just wire that foot's a new number and everyone knows it's, I call it my surf line and like my, I'll just plug that phone.

1:07:55We'll wire my iphone will wire to that and just to give i think everyone needs space and a break and that's an easy little thing everyone can just try one day you got the phone it's like you know that is badass but yeah and i'll just run around with that it's like you want to hold you you want to get a hold of me i'm available i'll talk to you yeah but like just because i'm bad just like everyone else i listen to podcasts all day my wife's always like what do you listen to i'm like i'm just constantly listening to content and just stopping that noise and honestly picking your head up yeah Like when I talk about this bed and breakfast down in Costa Rica, one of the rules I'm going to have is no technology in public.

1:08:27Oh, that's beautiful. Just, hey, when you're at the bar, yeah, you want to go to your room and do business. That's great. When you come to the bar, talk to the person. You know what I mean? Pick your head up. You know what I mean? It's the life here going on. It's so cool. Yeah. I love that. I love that. I didn't know you could do that with a phone. Yeah. Yeah. You can forward a phone. It's super easy. Go ask them. It's like 20 bucks. It's a$20 a month decision that can just give you that break and you're still connected to someone. That's pretty cool. It doesn't surprise me. You know what the battery life is on a Nokia now?

1:08:53It's like 12 days. Yeah. 70 days. It's nothing because you're not going on social media. You're not. I mean, I think you can text on that thing, right? Yeah. But it's like one, one, one, one, one, two, two, two, two. Oh, it's one of those. Oh, yeah. That's so bad. It's awesome. Missed those days. Remember those days? I'm not surprised you figured it out though. You have a house. You have a bungalow. You talk about getting a houseboat. I mean, this fucking guy, dude. Yeah. You're all over the place. Well, you know what I mean?

1:09:20Keep living. Well, thank you again, man. Um, thank you for you guys, please, uh, share the show with someone, you know, love and trust. Let us know what you thought about it. And, um, again, alexboyland.com to go see what he's doing. Then also to purchase the miles that make you or Barnes and normal Amazon, whatever you want to do. I thank you guys for listening and tuning in and really digesting Alex's story. And I've had a lot of public figures, a lot of authors on, and I really encourage you to learn more about Alex because I think you're going to be very, very impressed. I think you'll find somebody that can provide a lot of value to you in educating your child on the best college to go to, but also truly even for you is how to enjoy these moments and live your life.

1:10:04And until next time, stay determined.