In short
Phil Daru, an elite MMA strength/conditioning and combat coach, discusses “tunnel vision” discipline, purpose-driven training, and being “unkillable” by preparing for any adversity (mind, body, spirit). He connects childhood habits (early morning jogging, martial arts) and major life shocks (injury-ending fighting career, parents dying) to his coaching philosophy and faith.
Guests
Phil Daru is the main guest. The host is Sean (referred to as “brother” and “Sean”); they train together at “Brawler’s Box” in “Little Haiti.” No other named guests appear.
Guest background
Daru trained from childhood (kenpo karate at ~4, football from ~8, Division I football, later MMA). He pivoted from fighting after a neurologist warned about long-term brain damage. He later became a coach for top athletes including Dustin Poirier and Amanda Nunes, plus Olympians and special forces operators.
Key claims
Determination is a “muscle” built via discipline and routine; emotions don’t control execution; purpose is serving others; routine creates unconscious competence; adversity is a classroom.
Notable examples
neurologist’s Alzheimer’s warning; parents dying within three months (mother lupus, father esophageal bleed); jail/holding-cell training inmates; boxing/jab monotony example; “turning the F around” to start the Determined Society podcast.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VODiscipline as a Muscle
0:09 to 0:20
Learn how determination and discipline can be developed like a muscle.
“You are born with some capacity for it, I believe, but it's like any muscle.”
The Turning Point
0:20 to 0:34
Explore a fighter's pivotal moment when faced with career-ending advice.
“skulls and then one day a neurologist tells you if you take one more hit to your head that by the time you're 50 you're gonna have Alzheimer's you need to retire immediately.”
Life's Major Changes
0:47 to 1:02
Examine the significant losses Phil faced at a young age.
“At 26, you had your first child and your career ended.”
Phil's Athletic Journey
1:10 to 2:01
Phil shares his journey from a young competitor to an elite coach.
“you're a 26 year old, amazing competitor.”
Training Experience
2:01 to 2:17
Discussion about the unique experience of training together.
The Importance of Coordination
2:17 to 2:41
Phil discusses the significance of coordination in athletic performance.
“haiti okay right in the heart of it and and you know mind the shorts too as well i got the quads out because we just got done i know i know but it's all good you're looking nice and shaved and Thank you, brother.”
Learning and Adapting
2:41 to 4:34
Phil explains how athletes learn and adapt during training sessions.
“Because I feel like it was a lot of massive imbalance in my body.”
Foundations of Discipline
4:34 to 6:40
Explore how Phil's upbringing shaped his discipline and determination.
“So I'll put you in the fire a little bit.”
Impact of Family and Loss
6:40 to 8:20
Phil reflects on the loss of his parents and their influence on his life.
“I didn't mean to stop what you were saying, but four or five years old, bro.”
Coping with Grief
8:20 to 9:21
Learn how Phil managed his grief while facing life changes.
“Yeah, so my mother developed lupus, which is an autoimmune disease.”
Show all 38 chapters
Staying Focused on Purpose
9:21 to 10:20
Understand how maintaining focus on purpose helped Phil navigate loss.
“I just stay focused on my path and my purpose.”
The Role of Routine
11:34 to 13:39
Phil shares how routine and discipline play a role in his life.
“And it sounds bad, but we went to the funeral, and then I had, at that point, we were working with some high-level athletes, and I had to go right back to the gym right after the funeral and get the job done.”
Innate Determination
13:39 to 13:56
Discuss the balance between innate determination and learned discipline.
“You know, but, but your, your childhood, you know, as you said, it was instilled in you really determination and disciplines of muscle.”
The Journey of a Heavy Athlete
14:00 to 15:00
Explore the challenges faced by athletes balancing multiple sports.
“But when you're a heavy athlete and when I don't mean, I don't mean in weight, I mean just heavy in, in volume, you know, you can't book karate at four football at seven or eight.”
The Transition to Coaching
15:00 to 17:00
Learn about the shift from being an athlete to becoming a coach.
“Because you could do a lot of things and you can be very eclectic per se.”
Embracing Discomfort for Growth
17:00 to 17:50
Realize the importance of embracing failure in pursuit of your calling.
“I knew I was gonna make more money on Monday.”
The Importance of Monotony
17:50 to 19:20
Understand how repetition and monotony lead to mastery in sports and life.
“When you look at it now, it's hyper successful because you kept at it.”
Lessons from Sports and Business
19:20 to 21:20
Discover how athletic discipline translates into business success.
“So we isolated the jab and then we started to integrate that into a real-world environment in sparring Because I couldn't throw any other punch, right?”
Finding Spirituality and Faith
21:20 to 23:20
Discuss the journey of reconnecting with faith after life challenges.
“And that goes hand in hand with the individuals that I work with now.”
A Troubling Past and Consequences
23:20 to 26:10
Hear a personal story about the consequences of a troubled youth.
“I'm just, I'm living two different lives, right?”
Facing Reality in Detention
27:36 to 28:01
Explore the life-changing realization while facing serious charges.
“And he's like, well, they're coming to get you.”
Facing Consequences and Finding Purpose
28:01 to 29:28
Learn about overcoming adversity while facing serious legal consequences.
“Yeah, like an anger management class or some bullshit.”
Transformative Influences and Spiritual Awakening
29:28 to 31:10
Discover how a chance encounter led to a deeper understanding of purpose and faith.
“ended up happening was they had no evidence it was hearsay mm-hmm so by the grace of God the judge was lenient because it was my first offense like We're going to give you five years probation, some restitution.”
The Power of Love and Service
31:10 to 33:56
Explore the central role of love and serving others in personal growth.
“And he's like, why don't you come to this Latin Mass?”
Mind, Body, and Spirit Connection
33:56 to 35:58
Understand the importance of aligning mind, body, and spirit for fulfillment.
“That's where it comes back to understanding and identifying why you're here.”
The Journey to Authentic Leadership
35:58 to 38:10
Learn about the shift from personal ambition to leading with purpose and service.
“man, like, this is, this is, you're gonna make me fucking cry.”
Creating the Determined Society
38:10 to 42:00
Hear about the motivation behind starting a community focused on determination and commitment.
“You know, it's I'm serving people, but it's also filling me in some way.”
The Drive for Determination
42:00 to 42:30
Explore the pursuit of a determined society and personal aspirations.
“I said, cause that's the definition of determination in my mind and commitment.”
Birth of The Determined Society
43:38 to 46:12
Discover the origin story of The Determined Society and its evolution.
“It's missing the word the determined society.”
Overcoming Obstacles
46:12 to 48:28
Understand the mindset needed to tackle challenges and obstacles in life.
“A lot of people look at obstacles and they go, this is too much.”
Adversity as a Teacher
48:28 to 50:09
Learn how adversity serves as a crucial teacher in personal growth.
“There's going to be, there's going to be roadblocks.”
Adjusting to Life's Challenges
50:09 to 53:14
Examine the importance of adaptability in training and daily life.
“Yeah, and I think you definitely have to put yourself in the position to feel that pressure continuously.”
Training Elite Fighters
53:14 to 56:00
Gain insights into the coaching approach for elite fighters and their egos.
“I mean, they're all dope people from Louisiana.”
Coaching and Mutual Respect in Fighting
56:00 to 58:20
Learn how mutual respect is essential in coaching fighters.
“But for the most part, you may have one or two that are stuck in their ways.”
Focus and Determination in Elite Athletes
58:20 to 59:50
Explore the focus and determination that separates elite athletes from the rest.
“And you could be so locked in on the actual game plan, knowing what you need to do to get the goal accomplished, which is to win the fight, win the championship, set your legacy in that particular sport.”
Primal Nature of Fighting and Personal Goals
59:50 to 1:01:59
Discuss the primal nature of fighting and setting personal goals for fitness.
“And it was just so natural and, and psychologically disarming.”
The Quiet Process of Determination
1:01:59 to 1:04:34
Examine the quiet process of determination and its role in achieving goals.
“And, you know, one more final question for you, man.”
Automating Your Life for Success
1:04:34 to 1:07:48
Learn how to automate daily routines to enhance productivity and success.
“And the year before that, I attempted this thing and ended up putting myself in the hospital.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00You could do a lot of things and you can be very eclectic, but if you really want to be the best at what you're trying to be, you have to have tunnel vision focus. Really, determination and discipline is a muscle. You are born with some capacity for it, I believe, but it's like any muscle. You push it, you work it, you rest it, you feed it, it grows. Imagine you're a 26 year old, you're fighting in the octagon, you're busting skulls and then one day a neurologist tells you if you take one more hit to your head that by the time you're 50 you're gonna have Alzheimer's you need to retire immediately.
0:33Phil DeRue made a pivot and got behind the scenes and started training fighters. A lot of people don't want to suffer to get better. They fall back to things that they feel are comforting to them and they never evolve. They never grow. At 26, you had your first child and your career ended. You lost your mom and your dad within three months. Those are one, two, three, four massive events that can impact your identity happen within one year. How did you move through that?
1:08Hey, what's up guys? Imagine you're a 26 year old, amazing competitor. You're fighting in the octagon. You've been doing martial arts since you were four years old football, since you were eight, a division one football player, you have it all going, you're busting skulls. And then one day a neurologist tells you, if you take one more hit to your head, that by the time you're 50, you're going to have Alzheimer's. You need to retire immediately. Most people would quit, but a determined individual, Someone who really wants to make something out of their life makes a pivot. See, that's what my guest today did.
1:41Phil DeRue made a pivot and got behind the scenes and started training fighters, like world champions like Dustin Poirier, Amanda Nunez, and many other athletes and Olympians and special forces operators. This dude is the epitome of determination. And I've been waiting for this conversation. Welcome to the Determined Society. my brother that is probably the best intro i've ever gotten who the fuck you talking i mean well you know we're we're here baby that's crazy well you know why it was so good right i'm gonna tell you why let me know because you destroyed my ass we just at the brawler's box yeah we're just coming from it yeah brawler's box right here and uh what are they called uh little haiti little haiti little haiti okay right in the heart of it and and you know mind the shorts too as well i got the quads out because we just got done i know i know but it's all good you're looking nice and shaved and Thank you, brother.
2:31Appreciate it. Well, I got a little blonde hair. Yeah, I do. It's nice. It's very nice, man. I'm not as good looking as you. You're a burly man. But I've got some jeans on. Love it. I can barely pick up my legs right now. You did great, man. Did I really, though? I don't know bullshit. Because I feel like it was a lot of massive imbalance in my body. And the things that I was very coordinated at when I was playing baseball, you just see that stuff deteriorating over the years when you don't use them so like sometimes even when I was going okay these these drills getting the arms to work in sync with opposite leg like that was hard for me well if you don't use it you lose it right so that's what they say the biggest thing like what I see and you picked it up fast was and it's a testament to your athletic ability and the way you pick up things and when I look at an athlete it's basically going to come down to how well they can pick up things when I actually teach them whether it's auditory whether I give them a visual cue cueing techniques that I use are reframing for the actual event so that they can conceptualize how to do it but you did it perfectly even even with some of the the movement drills that we did obviously you had to coordinate the arms and everything else but that rotation of your hips and we got video of it too as well you picked it up fast and in most of my athletes it's it's pretty demanding you know so you did a good job no I appreciate that man you know it was just one of those things where I put myself back in that athlete mindset and I I was thinking when I was working out with you like I'm not here working out that's my coach and I'm going to allow him the space to coach me and me be the student and dude it was awesome man it was it was really cool doing something like that I haven't done in a long time and and the cool thing is is like have we just shown up here like I feel like we're boys now yeah like we you know you made me throw up a little bit already did you throw up I tried a little bit yeah a little water came up but But it was just, yeah, because I didn't have much in my stomach.
4:23Well, when we reached out and we were going to do this thing, I was like, well, you got to train. Let's get something going. Let's get something physical before we hop on this podcast. Because I know now that you get to understand a little bit what I do physically, too. So I'll put you in the fire a little bit. Yeah, dude. And I want to get to all that. Because one of the things that you really focus on, or two of them, is making sure you're ready for every situation. You're always ready, no matter what. and making fighters and competitors unkillable. But first, I want to go back. I want to go back to Brower County at four years old.
4:58You're doing kenpo karate. Your parents, I mean, that's a great thing your parents did, but what was it like in the Daru household growing up? It was a loving household. I grew up in some rough areas, and I had to, at that point, that's why martial arts was so vital for me, was to maintain discipline because everything else that's going on around you, you can get sucked into your environment and so allowing myself to get into a martial art where it again kept me disciplined kept me motivated kept me determined to improve and progress and a lot of people asked me before like where does your determination come from where does the dedication come from and I I think it's instilled in me obviously through through my parents but also I don't know any different so I couldn't really give them I can't get you a good answer with that because at that point, it's just second nature.
5:46And I don't want to sound too egotistical with it, but as far as I can remember, I've always had a goal. I've always had something that I wanted to achieve. And when you have an understanding of what is the purpose and where you're trying to go, then everything that you do is centered around that. So waking up, I woke up, even at four or five years old, waking up at five in the morning, going and jogging and getting my work in. How old were you when you were waking up at five and going to jog? Four or five years old, yeah. That I can remember, yeah.
6:20You sure you said four or five years old? Yeah. Four or five years old. Waking up and jogging. I want the audience to really dig into that because that's discipline. That's also upbringing. Yeah. Right? I don't think that's a stretch. I don't think that's insane. I think that is so amazing, dude. I didn't mean to stop what you were saying, but four or five years old, bro. I mean, that right there sets you up for the foundation for discipline and determination your whole life. And now everything that I've researched on you and read about you, now it makes sense. It's second nature. Yeah. I think it comes from even with my mother.
6:59She was a very determined person. She was the first female in Broward to join the fire department. Oh, wow. And so I remember, to some degree, me training her and running up the towers and, you know, yelling at her to keep going. And it was, my mother was my best friend, you know, when I was growing up. And seeing her put the work in, and even my father, too, you know, I barely saw him because he worked nonstop. But I think, you know, as young kids, and I'm a father now, we lead by example. And so I saw that intuitively, I just did what they did. and so that's why it sticks with me to this day um is your so what did your dad do so they both died uh okay seven years ago damn yeah so in the beginning he worked a lot of odd jobs uh he was a manager at some restaurants did a couple other things but for the most part you know grew up in like that restaurant like the hospitality yeah hospitality oh he was always working yeah yeah So, you know, I'd be sleeping.
8:03He'd come home 2, 3 o 'clock in the morning. You know, I'd get up at my 5 a.m. with my mother. We'd go run. You know, we'd get the training in, and then he would go off to work again. So, yeah. But it was something like, again, loving father, but just really wasn't there. Just doing what he had to do for the family. Yep, exactly. So you lost both your parents when you were 25. Yep. Do you mind me asking what happened? Yeah, so my mother developed lupus, which is an autoimmune disease. and that starts to deteriorate your body over time. And then my father, they're codependent, man, and I think the biggest thing was stress.
8:36He had an esophageal bleed right around, it was like 2 or 3 o 'clock in the morning. I remember getting a call right around 5 a.m. And my mother called me from my father's phone, and I thought my dad was calling me to tell me that my mother passed. And I picked up the phone, and my mom was hysterical, and she was like, he's dying, he's bleeding everywhere. And so we ended up hopping in the car, me and my wife. I get to their house and there's blood everywhere. And as soon as I saw that, I knew that it was over. So we went to the hospital and the doctor said we couldn't do anything. And so I had to tell my aunts, my sister, everyone that my dad had passed.
9:17Three months later, my mother passed. you lost your mom and your dad within three months yeah pretty much how how do you at that point stay focused and and and let me let me remind the audience you were 25 at 26 you had your first child and then your career ended those are massive events those Those are one, two, three, four massive events that can impact your identity happen within one year. How did you move through that? I just stay focused on my path and my purpose. And at that point, I knew that I needed to make a change because fighting career wasn't going there. You know, I had the injuries.
10:06And I had people that still depended on me. My son, my daughters, my wife, the people that I coach. And so I just had to move forward. And that's what my parents would have wanted me to do anyways. Now, you may have seen the buzz, but let me give you the inside scoop. Babe Ruth, Barry Bonds, Ken Griffey Jr., Mark McGuire, all the greats. What do they have in common? They have collectibles, and they're being sold on whatnot right now. And it brought me back to my childhood. Knowing that I can get my hands on something cool like that really gives me hope. So if you're selling online or out of a storefront, full-time or as a side hustle, you already know the challenges.
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11:20That's because you're not just listing products. You're building real connections with buyers. Search Whatnot, W-H-A-T-N-O-T in the App Store, download, and you can start selling right away. So there wasn't a time where I stopped. And it sounds bad, but we went to the funeral, and then I had, at that point, we were working with some high-level athletes, and I had to go right back to the gym right after the funeral and get the job done. And it's not because I wasn't hurting, but my job still had to go. I still had to work. I still had to provide. So that's where I just kept moving. See, that's where most people lose identity in those moments, like those four things back to back.
12:08The child's a blessing, but it's still a change of life. I mean, it changes your identity quick, right? There's a lot of different things that go on there. Most people retreat, fall into addiction, just shut down, right? But for you, when you say the job still had to be done, people are still depending on me. this can go all the way back to when you're four or five years old, waking up in the morning and running. And most people won't understand what I just said. They don't see any correlation to that. And that's the gap in their gain, right? They have to figure that out because what you find out early at four or five years old is that your emotions have nothing to do with what you have to do or what you said you would do.
12:55So even in those moments, extreme loss you still had to push forward and and and do the damn thing man yeah I stay connected with my purpose and I have to do that I always have to reconsider the fact that if I don't get the job done no one's gonna do it and at that point you just don't negotiate with yourself yeah a lot of people do like they wake up and they're feeling a little tired and don't get me wrong. Like if I know that I'm not a hundred percent, I'm still going to do the thing. Maybe I'll tailor off of it a little bit. Maybe I'll auto-regulate, but yeah, the job still has to get done.
13:35You still have the schedule. You still have your routine and you still have to get after it. You know, but, but your, your childhood, you know, as you said, it was instilled in you really determination and disciplines of muscle. I think at some point there's somewhat of it is innate, you know, you are born with some capacity for it, I believe, but it's like any muscle you, you push it, you work it, you rest it, you feed it, it grows. But when you're a heavy athlete and when I don't mean, I don't mean in weight, I mean just heavy in, in volume, you know, you can't book karate at four football at seven or eight.
14:11And then you get into, you know, Alabama state university or division one football player linebacker, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, all of these things that you've done in your life require extreme discipline and focus 1000%. Right. So I want to talk about that real quick, you know, between the, the karate, the football, the MMA, at one point you were doing all those things simultaneously. Yeah. Right. And so what does that do to a young athlete's mind in your opinion? And did you ever feel like you had to choose? At times? Yeah. Yeah. And I think the problem that I had as a young professional fighter was I was still trying to be a business owner, obviously lead the household.
15:01So I had all these things going on. My focus was shifted. And that's why I go back to focus. Because you could do a lot of things and you can be very eclectic per se. but if you really want to be the best at what you're trying to be, you have to have tunnel vision focus. And the moment that I made the transition from being a fighter, athlete, business owner to just being a coach and being engulfed in figuring out the ways to get my athletes prepared, that's when my coaching ability elevated. That's it right there, man. So I think I had at that point, God said to me, listen this is what you're here to do this is your purpose right and we have to lead with love we have to lead with gratitude and we have to lead with grace so if i'm here to provide a service because we're all here to serve to some capacity what's the best way to do that and that's when i found my true calling was coaching individuals was leading them teaching them inspiring them and giving them some guidance to get their goals accomplished, to get whatever their aspirations are.
16:15And that's where a lot of my foundation of my methods come from because it starts with the assessment process. So to answer that question, I think that, yes, you can dabble and you can have your things that you do and, by all means, live your life. But if you're trying to be the best at what you're trying to be, you have to be focused. I can relate to everything you're saying. because I feel like I'm in an echo chamber right now. Because when I found this, it's all I could think about. I was obsessed. And I had a very successful sales career. I was in medical sales, I was in the OR, I was making money.
16:51And I didn't have to worry about spending a few grand here on a weekend to take my family on vacation. That was easy. I knew I was gonna make more money on Monday. But what happened is when God put this on my heart, when I finally figured out what my purpose and my calling was. And, you know, granted, I sucked at it at the beginning. I go back and watch some of the videos. I'm, wow. No wonder that nobody was listening. You know, you have to be willing to suck at something if it's your purpose and your calling. But when he gives you that, to turn your back on it and to not go all in is the ultimate act of disrespect.
17:30I believe it. I think, you know, with that being said, you had to go through some friction. A lot of people don't want to suffer to get better. Right. Right. So they fall back to things that they feel are comforting to them. And they never evolve. They never grow. Yeah. So when you started doing the podcast, yeah, you said that the first few episodes were trash, whatever. Maybe the first hundred. Straight up, bro. When you look at it now, it's hyper successful because you kept at it. Right. And the same thing goes in the gym. Right. You may have a couple exercises that you did today that were like, oh, this is off.
18:06And I saw a little bit of frustration. I was pissed. But then you went back. That's a good thing, though. Be pissed for greatness. Come back and do it again. Don't let it stop you. Don't let it stifle you. You know, when I started boxing, you know, after Kempo Karate, and I knew how to, like, I knew how to strike. I knew how to throw my hands to a degree. But when I started boxing one of my boxing coaches and this was in Alabama too as well It was a hole-in-the-wall boxing gym this guy. I think he lived in the gym be honest with you and I was I was doing okay, but he was like man stop doing what you're doing because I was shadow boxing I was all over the place He's like go in the mirror and throw the jab just throw the jab and I want you to do that I want you to do that a hundred times a day And I want you to keep doing that for the next six months Literally six months.
18:57And I go, man, I don't know if I even have the discipline to just throw the jab. Because that's monotony. Yes. It's boring. Yeah. And you have to be comfortable in that boring state in order for you to grow. Yeah. And then it started to evolve. And then I was like, okay, I know how to throw the jab slow, concise. I can throw from different angles. Now let's put it into practice. So we isolated the jab and then we started to integrate that into a real-world environment in sparring Because I couldn't throw any other punch, right? So as you just throw the jab sometimes they would tie my other arm up yep And so it allowed me to learn how to slip how to move how to move my feet But still throw the jab as accurate as possible and that goes for everything in life So when I started to understand how to dissect those small details I transferred that over into my coaching career That's amazing because I'm tying this all in with baseball.
19:53As a baseball player, when you're struggling, they tell you go back to the tee and just work the tee, man. Tee's your best friend. Load stride, work middle. Work middle. Boom, boom, boom. Work opposite field. But make sure, no matter what, that ball stays on the line, comes straight off the tee. Not to the ground, not up. Right here. Stay flat at contact. Stay strong through it. those things that baseball players do when they're struggling they should do when they're when they're doing well so Derek Jeter right back in the day one of the greats yeah the captain right the freaking guy would always hit off the tee if he was doing well if he was doing poorly you know slump or not hitting off the tee that's called monotony that's called mastering the monotony and he's a hall of famer by the way last at bat RBI line drive to right field I get goosebumps because that was set up his whole career.
20:46It's like there's no way God or the baseball gods are going to let him fail on his last at-bat. He put in too much work. And so when you jab, jab, jab, jab, jab, or load and try, load and try, hit the ball off the tee, what do you think is going to happen when it's time to compete? It's there because the work is already done. And what does that do? That instills that work ethic and the ability to stay in that monotony. so then it transfers over into whatever else you're trying to do yeah and so i look at these lessons in in athletics and sport and i tie that into everything that i do even with business you know it's like we have to one if i'm not prepared i don't feel comfortable at all as far as like going after the thing so we have to have a strategy we have to have a system and then we have to plan accordingly so we have to play chestnut checkers oh come on right and so like at that point whenever i'm looking to elevate my business or my systems or even my family everything has to be organized to the right degree now obviously there's going to be some times where you have to auto regulate but because you have a system it's easier to do that the problem is is people just go through their day-to-day life with no routine and routine leads to discipline so you create these habits that allows you to stay disciplined.
22:07And that goes hand in hand with the individuals that I work with now. These guys are really successful people, right? CEOs of big companies. We got athletes. The thing that I see that's standard across the board is that they don't deviate from their routine. They stay consistent no matter what, whether they're traveling, whether they feel good or they don't, the routine stays there. and so it becomes second nature becomes unconscious competence which is important when you're trying to elevate so it's all important man you know it it we keep saying the monotony we keep saying the little things but those are the things that create the success yeah you know so i was joking with you guys laughing at it but i literally woke up at two yeah you know and i couldn't sleep and so what did i do did i get pissed about it oh i got this workout i got i got these two shows what am i gonna no i just got up and worked man yep so if i'm up god woke me up for a reason 100 you know and and and you understand that because you've started to speak about your spirituality and your faith a lot more yeah when did that switch for you so i've always i grew up in a catholic environment and i was baptized catholic and i got away from the faith a little bit obviously growing up in the environment you know you don't go to church oh we all slide a little slide yeah 100 i slid a lot i slid and uh i got into some trouble at 16 you know and i was facing facing some time and i remember sitting in a jail cell and going, yeah, you didn't know this one?
23:55I didn't know this one. What'd you do? All right. So 16 years old, right? I'm just, I'm living two different lives, right? I'm playing football. I got division one offers, but I'm also selling drugs. And the reason why I'm selling drugs is because one, I didn't want to ask my parents for money. So I'm like, all right, if I want shoes or if I want, you know, anything that I want, I'm just going to get it. So I started going down that route, losing focus on my purpose, and got into some trouble. Ended up right around 16 years old. I think it was 16, yeah. It was my junior year in high school. And I went to go do a sale, and I got into a scuffle.
24:45Ended up beating these kids up, unfortunately. And then we took their cell phones. And we took their cell phones. They got me for armed robbery. You jacked them, bro. Jacked them. And at that point, I go, and I wasn't thinking about it. Like, oh, it's their cell phones, whatever. Yeah. Right? And I gave them the cell phones back, actually, to be honest. I sold it back to them. You didn't give them shit. Yeah, I sold it back to them. And I was on Broward County's most wanted list for two weeks. Didn't know this. didn't know this so i'm going to i'm going to school i'm still doing my thing and um you know and then my the the my guy that was with me my boy um he got picked up at at track practice so they locked him up i go to school i'm driving i'm riding i think i was yeah i was driving at that time i actually bought my first car with drug money going to school and i'm like why is he not at school it's weird because he usually would tell me and so then they called me in the office They said, you know, we picked up your boy, and they're going to come after you too.
25:48So I called my mother. And my mom said, don't say anything. Come get you. We'll handle it. We'll figure it out. So I'm leaving. I'm about to leave school because I'm leaving early. And they closed the gate. And they never closed the gate. So I said, oh, okay. I know what's going on. So at that time, I had my last class. And as I was leaving, my coach called me in his room. He's like, just sit down. And I sat down and he looked at me and he said, what'd you do? Oh boy. Now you may have seen the buzz, but let me give you the inside scoop. Babe Ruth, Barry Bonds, Ken Griffey Jr., Mark McGuire, all the greats.
26:28What do they have in common? They have collectibles and they're being sold on whatnot right now. And it brought me back to my childhood. Knowing that I can get my hands on something cool like that really gives me hope. So if you're selling online or out of a storefront, full-time or as a side hustle, you already know the challenges. You're hoping for people to find your listing or waiting for them to walk in. Whatnot flips that right on its head. On Whatnot, you go live and sell directly to people in real time. They see what you've got, they ask questions, and buy. And they keep coming back. Whatnot is the largest dedicated live shopping platform, whether it's beauty, collectibles, electronics, luxury fashion, or heck, even cookies.
27:07Sellers are building real, thriving businesses. Anyone can sell. Whether your business is big, small, or yet to exist, people selling on Whatnot sell 10 times more than on other major marketplaces. That's because you're not just listing products. You're building real connections with buyers. Search Whatnot, W-H-A-T-N-O-T, in the App Store. Download, and you can start selling right away. You ain't going to lie to your football coach. No, you can't, man. And I was like, coach, I messed up. And he's like, well, they're coming to get you. And he's like, you just got to face it. And I was like, all right.
27:45So he came and got me. I'm sitting in a detention center now. And typically, you know, I'm not thinking the ramifications of what could happen. Sure, of course. I'm a young kid. Yeah. So I'll do my 21 days. I'll get out. And then I'll just keep going with my life. Or pay a fine. Yeah. Do some restitution. Yeah, like an anger management class or some bullshit. Yeah, yeah. Probation. Pick up garbage on the side of the road. I'm good. Exactly. Exactly. So 21 days pass. and they're like, you're not going anywhere. You're getting direct filed as an adult and you're going to the county jail. So they put me in the wagon.
28:20We go to the county jail. And at this point, it became real. So like with the charge that we have on you, you could face up to 60 years. Yeah, this is Broward County. So two counts, right? Because there's two of them. So I'm sitting in there and first I get the phone call to my mother and I'm like, I don't know what to do. She's like, don't say anything. We'll figure it out. Just pray about it. And when she said pray about it, I sat there in that cell and that was the first time I prayed since I was a six-year-old kid. Oh boy. And I said, God, if you get me out of this situation, I will change my life.
29:00So I sat in the county for about a month and a half, two months, and we're in a holding cell, 23-hour lockdown. I started training the inmates so we were working with you know towels and yeah and you know wrapping the mattress up and doing partner drills and stuff and at that point I'm like man I like training I really do like doing this you know Wow so it's kind of like comes full circle comes full circle and so what ended up happening was they had no evidence it was hearsay mm-hmm so by the grace of God the judge was lenient because it was my first offense like We're going to give you five years probation, some restitution.
29:42Because they thought I was going to violate and go back in. Oh, of course. You'll get the full sentence if you violate. Anytime you violate. So at that point, they had to drop me out of school. I lost 90 % of my scholarships. We're all off. So I go into a drop-in program. I switch schools. And now I'm just basically trying to get back to where I was. and luckily i went through all my probation i got off in two years because i was straight and narrow oh so they gave you three years they gave three years of your life back yeah that's good so at that point i was waiting to go to alabama state and so i had a year that i was off until i could go because i was still on probation i couldn't right right once that happened you know i was at that point I go, all right, I'm making a change.
30:36And I would go to church and I would just try to find, you know, my place in life. Now fast forward and I got, I was still spiritual, but I wasn't tapped in to the first cause like I should fast forward. And I meet an individual by the name of Kevin James is the actor. Yeah. Okay. So the Kevin James. Yeah. Funny as hell, man. He's a great guy. He's great. He's like a father figure, you know, brother, brother in Christ. And we were on set to do a movie in Louisiana, in New Orleans. No way. And he's like, why don't you come to this Latin Mass? And I'm like, all right, cool. Yeah, I'll come because I'm a part of the crew.
31:21I might as well go. And I'm sitting there in the Latin Mass, and it felt like I was being let in on something. And I just was sitting there like, what am I doing with my life? Now, I'm 100%, like, obviously I'm successful, but I'm not whole yet. You don't feel aligned in your soul. No. Right, right. And so after the Latin Mass, I get out and I'm like, I got to make a change here. And I started to dive deep into theology. And I also, at one point, we're in New Orleans and I'm frustrated about something. He goes, he just asked me a simple question, what is your purpose? And I go, what do you mean, man?
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32:00And like it's to leave a legacy. It's, you know, whatever. He's like, that's not your purpose. Your purpose is to know and love God first and foremost. Find your purpose. Elevate the skill and the talent that he has given you to serve others. Because you lead with love. And love is to will the good of the other. So at that point I go, all right, I need to make a change in my understanding of why I'm here. and that's when it led to now having my son and my son now is like he's all in right so he's getting his first holy communion next week that's awesome yeah yeah so cool man so it's a good it's a good story it's a good battle back from one of these i think it's great you know it's it's one of those moments right where you know you're sitting there in that holding cell and then you go to the detention center you know and that what else are you going to do at that point yeah you know and i think what's what's really good or or powerful about that story is you're facing all this time you're facing you know what you said 60 years because it's two counts you're 16 years old you know you're you're a pup man you're still wet behind your ears you you don't even know what's going on yeah no no and your life could be over yeah right because of one dumbass decision to beat two dudes up.
33:18Yep. Right. Um, but again, I'm going to go back to the statement. Most people would give up. You're in jail and you find a way to make friends with everybody and train them. Yeah. You served there inside the detention center and you got out and you were blessed. You know, you didn't have to spend the full five years under damn probation. You spent two. Like there's a reason, right? And it all points back to when you're given a crappy hand or you create the crappy hand, how do you respond to it? And I think response is the most important thing in life because most people react.
34:03That's where it comes back to understanding and identifying why you're here. And I'll give you another thing, which was crazy. you fast forward a little bit further right around 2022 so not too long ago and i started working with broward sheriff's office with the swat team and they say come out to our training facility so i'm driving to the training facility i'm like this looks familiar i bet it did right they changed the holding area where i went to as a young kid to their training facility So I pull up and I go, oh, wow. Damn. So I go in there. Now I'm working with these individuals, great people, right?
34:49They're just trying to elevate. They're trying to serve and protect. And now I go, all right, I see what you're doing. So, I mean, the biggest thing I would say for people is to really figure out exactly where you want to go with your life and then have something that can staple you to your purpose. And we keep going back to that, but that's really the goal with anybody in life. And a lot of people ask, what's the purpose of life? Why am I here? What am I doing? And I always say the biggest thing, and Jesus Christ will say this and said it before it's been written in Scripture, love thy neighbor.
35:32Love the God. Love your God for all your might. and love thy neighbor. I'm getting choked up a little bit because
35:47it truly changed the way I look at people. Because I always used to think at some point in time that
36:00damn, you got me. It's good, man. I love it, bro. No, dude, I love it, man. man, like, this is, this is, you're gonna make me fucking cry. Like, look, man,
36:13to love people is life. And these reactions, these emotions are bringing out who you are and everything that you've been through. So man, don't, don't, this is, this is good stuff. Yeah, I mean, well, and so when I decided to truly just make that decision to keep God first in my life, it allowed me to elevate my career. Because everything that I do now is to serve. And I lead as a service-based leader. And I'm a servant of the first cause. I'm a servant of man. I'm a fisher of men. and the only in the true way i know how to do that is to get you to the point where you feel really good about yourself where you feel really confident about your abilities to protect yourself as we go back to being capable right and you can't do that if you're not physically tapped in mentally tapped in and spiritually tapped in so we tie these three things together mind body and soul mind body and spirit if you don't have the mind you don't have the mental fortitude to get past a certain situation you will never elevate to where you want to be if you don't have the body if you don't have the physical acumen you don't have the physicality to push past fatigue you're not going to get to where you want to be and if you don't have a connection a soul connection to the creator you will not get to where you want to be it's beautiful man i'm gonna tell you something that's probably your superpower also Achilles heel and here's how I know that because it's mine I'm an amazing communicator but I also love people and I will serve serve serve serve serve and not ask you for anything back and sometimes my best friend my wife my protector she protects the hell out of me these boys know you can't keep doing things and not getting anything in return, I go, and I'm thinking, I'm like, yeah, you're right.
38:16But I am getting something in return. It's just not directly correlated. You know, it's I'm serving people, but it's also filling me in some way. Sure. Right. Because everybody wants to be able to give back, but they don't know how. But when you're connected with your gifts are, then it's easy to give back. And the one thing about you that that's really special, man, is I can smell energy, right? I can tell within two seconds, typically of what this person's about. Sometimes I get a little confused, right? But the moment you interacted with me outside that gym, you're like, Sean, hey, man. I'm like, hey, what's up, dude?
38:57You're like, oh, just come right. I'm like, that's a good dude. Just your normal, your speech pattern. I could tell that you were an individual that cared Well same I had the same interaction with you I could tell that you cared that you were a thoughtful person and you loved doing what you do I'm obsessed I'm obsessed dude and that's the thing but dude all this stuff is great and I have so many more questions that I want to get to because it just ties the whole Phil DeRuth story up Let me ask you a question So what made you want to do this podcast? Oh, man, this is a good one. You know, and I've said it a lot on air.
39:38Yeah. You know, but.
39:46The thing that I will say is there came a time in my career, right, that I was, like I said, making money. I was so unhappy. I was broken. I didn't understand why I was so focused on more. I need more. I need more money. I need more money. I need another revenue stream. I need to be rich. I mean, don't get me wrong. I want this thing to take me to the top. But I'm going to do it by serving, by giving the people great conversations that they can grow from, like this one with you. Absolutely. But when I was in that moment in 2020, I was trying to find more ways to make money because I thought it was a money situation.
40:36I was like, well, I need a few money. I'm making a quarter million. Looks like the life that I want to create. I need 350 to five. So it's a money problem. No, man. The problem was me.
40:51The problem was me. I have the most gorgeous wife. I have three beautiful children and I was unhappy. What in the hell is wrong with me, man? And so long story short, I had a friend that was helping us get into a network marketing or direct to consumer, whatever, to go, to go sell more things because I thought it was money. She said, but you need a personal brand. And I was like, what in the hell is a personal brand? So what do people think about you? I'm like, I don't know. Post a picture on your stories and ask them. My friends were like, douchebag, douchebag, sweet hat, take it off, you suck.
41:32But, you know, your friends do. Your boys do. They're going to get you. But like most people were like, leader, leader, coach, coach, determined, determined, determined, determined, determination, determined, determined. So I was like, so at that point, I had 800 people that, you know, hit the follow button on Instagram. and about half of those were all skewed towards determination so that's what i said they said people think i'm determined she was great start your facebook group i'm like called it determined that's stupid she got so frustrated with me she goes what do you want yeah i said i'm sorry what and she goes what do you want i go you know what i'm so sick of excuses i want to wake up in a determined society where people actually chase their dreams every single day no matter how they feel emotionally at that time.
42:22I said, cause that's the definition of determination in my mind and commitment. Now you may have seen the buzz, but let me give you the inside scoop. Babe Ruth, Barry Bonds, King Griffey Jr., Mark McGuire, all the greats, what they have in common, they have collectibles and they're being sold on whatnot right now. And it brought me back to my childhood, knowing that I can get my hands on something cool like that really gives me hope. So if you're selling online or out of a storefront, full-time or as a side hustle, you already know the challenges. You're hoping for people to find your listing or waiting for them to walk in.
42:55Whatnot flips that right on its head. On Whatnot, you go live and sell directly to people in real time. They see what you've got, they ask questions, and buy. And they keep coming back. Whatnot is the largest dedicated live shopping platform, whether it's beauty, collectibles, electronics, luxury fashion, or heck, even cookies. Sellers are building real thriving businesses. Anyone can sell. Whether your business is big, small, or yet to exist, people selling on Whatnot sell 10 times more than on other major marketplaces. That's because you're not just listing products. You're building real connections with buyers.
43:32Search Whatnot, W-H-A-T-N-O-T in the App Store. Download, and you can start selling right away. She goes, that's it. determined society. I go, I don't like it at all. I don't like it. And I was like, it's missing something. She goes, no, it's not. I go, yes, it is. It's missing the word the determined society. I make it a little more exclusive, a little more sexy. Right. And so it was a Facebook group for a long time. And it was just me talking about my struggles, me asking other people what they were struggling with and what I, and it was all to sell products. that was the goal but what was really going on was god working and going no no i'm using this to show you who you really are and what you can accomplish and what you can pull off in your life and be happy in your career and eventually about two months later people were interacting sharing things you know doing all these different things inside the community or the facebook page I'm driving down the road heading to the another OR about an hour hour and a half two hours away and my brain exploded you know those moments man it's like a goodwill hunting moment or a beautiful mind and like you're smelling colors and and and tasting things tasting the air it's like that moment call my wife I was like I just had this moment and I need to talk to you she goes okay I go the Determined Society isn't a Facebook page it's a podcast she goes what do you mean I was like well this is what I'm thinking.
45:09And she goes, cool. I'm like, do you think I can do it? And she goes, I think you can do anything you want. So here's what I'm going to tell you. You have, you have until the time from right now until you get home to figure it out. But don't talk to me about it again. Oh, it's a tough one. I was like, okay. I'm like thinking like, I always kind of follow through. I think, you know, maybe, maybe not. Maybe this is a gut check. So what did I do? I turned the F around. I didn't go to, I didn't go to the hospital. I was like, what the hell with this? I'm going to turn around. I'm going to figure this thing out.
45:42And so I asked my friend Natalie. I'm like, how do I start a podcast? And she sent me a YouTube thing that she made. And I was like, oh, Anchor. Cool. Oh, my God. I don't have equipment. I don't have a studio. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. You know, scarcity. I said, but you know what? My bride told me to figure it out. Yeah. so I recorded my first episode that night it was called the determined society and I did it on my phone nice and the next 20 episodes were in my vehicle at the time I had a V I had a VW SUV atlas right and after the gym I just hit do not disturb and talk into the phone and do the show notes there that's how it started man that's I mean you had so many there was some obstacles there A ton.
46:34But you didn't let it deter you. There's been so many. And I'll tell you this. A lot of people look at obstacles and they go, this is too much. I don't have the money. I don't have the resources. I don't have the time. Time is such an illusion, dude. The money thing is real. But here's what I discovered about the money thing. I don't have people that want to fund the show. I don't have investors. I don't have people that want to invest in me. But I was also running a show called The Determined Society. that's all about determination and discipline and meanwhile i was 230 pounds and 31 body fat what part of that screams discipline and determination okay yeah so so when yeah so when you look at that it's like well it's my fault i'm not the walking billboard so i started handling my shit yeah and i transformed very quickly because i was very locked in focused like you say tunnel vision nutrition workouts I wasn't running I dropped like 20 pounds in a month or two you know and I just kept going and then all of a sudden started clicking because what people don't understand it's something that you understand is once you do the things that you know you need to do to fix that one thing about you that needs to be fixed and you fall back and you fall into alignment, the universe opens up.
47:59For sure. And that's what happened. Yep. Yep. That's why I can't really speak on like, how did this all happen? It just, God gave me the path and I walked it. Yeah. And I'll continue to walk it. And whenever I feel like I'm veering off, I go back to prayer and I, I ask God, just give me the path and I will not alter that path. There's going to be, there's going to be roadblocks. There's going to be, you know, those, those obstacles like you, that we talked about. And as long as you can stay consistent on that path, a lot of times, you know, when you get a certain level of success, you get opportunities and you have to decipher all those opportunities, something that is a part of your purpose in that path.
48:50And a lot of people, again, people talk about the woman in the red dress. They start to deviate. Oh, yeah. You need the devil? Yeah, 100%. And the devil will tempt you. And if he doesn't tempt you and he doesn't get in your way, typically you're walking side by side with him. So I'm ready and I'm prepared to fight the good fight. But that's what you do, though. You make sure your fighters, your Olympians, special forces operators and podcast hosts make sure they're ready for everything to make them unkillable. Right. That's the thing. Like, you know, that is such an important concept because when you're ready for anything.
49:38and I'm not talking about being ready to drop down and fight in the middle of an alley maybe maybe yeah maybe but mostly it's it's there's gonna be this all this adversity that comes at you are you ready to deal with it can you work through it because if you can't you're never gonna get to the point that you want to you know and I just think it's so important and I'm very passionate about that concept about that because that is where most people screw up is where they fall, man. Yeah, and I think you definitely have to put yourself in the position to feel that pressure continuously. And you can do that through the gym.
50:18You can do that when you're running. You can do that with your business. But give yourself some tough times and see what you're made of through those tough times. Do you believe adversity is a real classroom?
50:35I do. I think that... So, I've been through a lot of adversity. And so when people go, you know, when there's tough times or like... It could be minute, small little issues. Like parking outside in Miami. It was actually easy today. It was easy today. You guys busted my balls because I parked a little further. Sorry to forget my steps. I actually liked it, to be honest with you. I was good. But you don't let it change the perspective. A lot of times, let's say, even with, so my son, at some point, when he was like maybe six or seven years old, he used to wake up with me at four or five in the morning.
51:17And one morning, he woke up at six, and he was mad at himself. He was like, I can't believe I woke up late. I said, son. One, he went to bed later, too, as well. we got back from a family thing and I was like if your body needs rest give it rest but at that point you have to make up for the time that was lost don't get down or mad at yourself just keep transitioning keep moving forward and I started to think man I need to take some of that advice that I'm given, right? It's, you know, Solomon's paradox. Yep. And I go, well, whenever I have a bad day, I never really have a bad day. It's funny because my wife will go, you have a very easy way to jump back into position.
52:09You don't let negative things dictate your whole day. I may be off for 10 minutes, but then I'm back on. because I know there's more time in the day to get the thing done. And it falls back to being able to execute and knowing the system. And I love routine. I'm very conscientious. But I'm open to new opportunities. Sure. So I'm able to adjust and auto-regulate and call an audible. You got to adapt. You got to adapt. Same thing with training. So when I was working with fighters, right, you might have a system. You'll have a program ready for them to go. And it's not always a part of the plan to have somebody kick an elbow.
52:53And now you can't do the things that you did today. So I have to transition. The plan is still the plan. I just deviated a little bit so that we can still move forward. And a lot of teachers, coaches, trainers, they have an inability to adjust. People have an inability to adjust. So keep adjusting, but still stay the path. that's important man i just feel like when we look at bad days you know to to go back and and talk about that my kids will come up to me i go hey how was your day at school oh it's terrible it's usually my my middle child my daughter my nine-year-old is like it's bad terrible my my youngest as well my son can sometimes like it's boring school yeah yeah he's like a man a few words right until it's bedtime always always dude but you know that's when they open up that's true so um message for you parents out there don't tell them to shut up at bedtime yeah sit there and listen to them for sure because years are going to pass quickly um i'm talking to myself because i suck at that sometimes dude yeah i want to spend time with my wife yeah yeah yeah um but but the thing is i always ask them was it really a bad day or were they bad moments because if you can think of that yes then you can move quickly and i think that maybe subconsciously where you're at it's like that was just like one situation i i can go impact somewhere else bounce back bounce back man you know we talk about the fighters though right like you've you've trained some some amazing fighters right uh dust employee um we talked about him a little bit at the gym as one of your closest friends um i mean no doubt he's a great dude He's from Louisiana.
54:38I mean, they're all dope people from Louisiana. Yeah, yeah. You know it. But Colby Covington, you know, that's a pretty openly divisive personality, right? Definitely. How was it training someone like him and kind of dealing with the performative aspect of it to the personal side? You know, with Colby, he was great to train. He was a hard worker. He was super respectful. You know, I think when you get into this world of entertainment, then it kind of gets skewed to one direction or another. Now, he was facing, like, he was going to get cut from the UFC. Oh, wow. So, at that time, they thought that that was the best option for him.
55:22And so, you know, to each his own. I would say that as far as me, a personal relationship, when it came down to coach athlete, he was great. He was super coachable. He listened to everything that we did. He worked hard, one of the hardest workers that I know. And the one thing that I would say is that I think that there was a loss of understanding and his personality was shifted and cut in half. And so I know that he's getting back into who he is. And I mean, I haven't talked to him in a while. but um but when it came to me coaching him i've had i've had athletes that are not coachable they're uncoachable to a degree of where like i can't work with you really yeah so like because that was my that was another part of the question i was like because some of these fighters have such big egos and they have strong opinions about their own training you know so like how do you deal with that there's a mutual respect that needs to happen first right so it starts with the the assessment process and that is really just having a conversation where it comes down it could be 90 minutes could be two hours it could be literally maybe even two weeks when you develop this relationship and then there's mutual respect knowing they know that you have their best interest at heart then they're open to new ideas they're open to new training methodologies and then obviously you have to show the result so I think once I was able to get those wins and to really elevate the other athletes that were in the same room as him or her, it allowed them to let their guard down.
57:04But for the most part, you may have one or two that are stuck in their ways. Maybe they're veterans. They've been doing the things that they do. You have to give them the opportunity to realize what their limitations are. And so, again, I go back to it. Let's assess. Let's evaluate. Let's indicate the problem. Let's figure out what is your rate limiting factor. And it could be just a minute detail. And when you can pinpoint that, then it allows them to let their guard down and really get after it. Because at the end of the day, they want to be elite. Right. And the thing that separates the elite from the great.
57:41So you have good, great elite. Right. The elites know how to, one, let their guard down and know that they need to evolve in order for them to get to that level. and then the biggest thing is being able to block out the noise, block out distraction. You think about it from a UFC perspective, some of the world champions, there's thousands, hundreds of thousands in attendance sometimes and millions watching all over the world. They're not focused on the crowd. They're not focused on all the distraction. They're focused on their opponent. They probably can't hear them. You'd be surprised. They can?
58:19Sometimes. Wow. And you could be so locked in on the actual game plan, knowing what you need to do to get the goal accomplished, which is to win the fight, win the championship, set your legacy in that particular sport. Nothing else is going to deter you from that. Dustin, by far, has this ability because he loves the game. It wasn't because of money. It wasn't because of accolades. He could care less. it was more about the actual love of fighting and we break it down fighting is so primal you know we all it doesn't matter you can you can have a guy you know you can have a a couple of kids playing outside playing basketball maybe some guys you know playing baseball pickleball now everybody's playing pickleball right yeah but then a fight breaks out nobody's watching pickleball no they're all running to the fight because it's primal yeah and so it's very exciting and so people want to be involved in that and so they all think that they know better and so you'll get people that'll tell a Dustin Poirier how to fight and the good thing about DP is that he doesn't allow people to dictate his game even with the coaches and the coaches are great his great coaches but he knows what he needs to do that's that's elite right that's elite because when i think of people that try to tell me what to do i look at where you at are you are you right here with me are you here and and are you trying to help me are you posturing right and so but but it's all an assessment so if you come so that's where you got me from minute one and and i noticed it because we're standing out there waiting for him to open up the, you know, the door and you're like, Hey man, like, what have you been doing?
1:00:15And it was just so natural and, and psychologically disarming. Cause I was, dude, I was nervous, you know, because it's a new, it was a new environment for me. You know, like I knew it wasn't going to be all right, we're just going to push weights. I told the boys yesterday, I'm like, dude, like, just remember, let him know that I need to interview him at 10 a.m. and I have to be functional. Yeah. They didn't say that, by the way. They did? No, they didn't say that. They said we got to do a 10 a.m. podcast. That was it. But no, listen, because I know, like, I did some research on you too as well.
1:00:52I know that you're in shape, but I know that you haven't been doing any training the way I trained. Yeah. So there was, you still want to get, I still wanted to teach you some new things so that it can open up your mind. and then also push you to a degree. But I know that we have to do something afterwards. So that's why we cut it short. Well, it's funny because there's two things. I'm going to share this on air. I've never done it before. There's two things I wish that I always have learned to do. One was train like a fighter so I can be in shape like a fighter. I don't want to fight, but I want to look like a fighter.
1:01:24I wish I could hip-hop dance, dude. Well, that's rhythm. I wish I could walk it out. I sent my wife a video the other day. I was like, hey, you think I can learn? She goes, nope. I said, all right, I'm going to write this down. And in two years, we're going to be at somebody's wedding. And I'm going to ask for that song. And I'm going to blow the roof off that freaking place. Love it, bro. But no, man, I love everything that you do. It's such a great friendship that we've built in such a short time, in two hours. People think that how do you build a friendship or relationship that quickly? It's all about divine connections, man.
1:01:57100%, yeah. And so you've done amazing things. You're continuing to do amazing things. And, you know, one more final question for you, man. With everything you've been through, what does the word determined actually mean to you? I was actually going to ask you that, but I'll give you mine. I'll answer it, though. Go ahead first. Yeah, for sure. Determine, when I think about it as a whole, it's the actions that you take consistently through order, obedience, and strength that allows you to elevate to your purpose. And if you're not determined, then whatever you feel like you want to accomplish, it will not get done.
1:02:42It's a solid definition, man. Thank you, brother. Absolutely. I thought about that one for a second. That's a good one, man. No, I mean, you can take as long as you want. You know what mine is? go ahead so i used to think it was loud i used to think it was any for sell a type loud gotcha you know so i try to mimic that what i realized was i wasn't being me and i wasn't accomplishing anything i was leading out of shame with myself i'm like i don't like the way you look so i'm gonna lose 10 pounds and it never would stick but what i started to realize is that determination is so quiet it's done in the dark man it's done at 4 a.m when you're just waking up and maybe you're having a cup of coffee, taking some more notes down, or maybe you're in the gym, or maybe you're walking, or maybe you're reading a book, or maybe you're praying.
1:03:27I don't know what it is that you're doing it for, but determination is done in those dark moments where no one's there. And what it looks like at the very highest level of, of the definition to me is you do what you said you were going to do, no matter how you feel about it at that moment. period end of freaking story i've walked in the gym thinking this is going to be the worst 45 to 60 minutes of my life i just want to go home and sleep but on set two i'm ready to rock and i never regretted it so determination is doing what you said you're going to do long after the emotion wears off it is sometimes getting up and just walking out of bed sometimes it's putting your shoes on depending on where you're at in that day sometimes it's just getting to the gym and doing the bare minimum because you're crushed emotionally but you're determined to move forward so you do the work that to me is the ultimate definition of determination do as you say and say what you do that's it right be it baby you know when i was when i was uh i was getting ready for a half marathon and like i'm not a runner by the way yeah me neither you know but i knew that there was a gap there and so every morning i would wake up either it's raining cold out whatever i had a bad night's sleep doesn't matter but i knew if i had my clothes ready to go laid out my shoes are right there if i put my shoes on i'm not negotiating with myself i'm taking one step forward and another step forward i did a hundred mile ruck on December with 50 pounds on my back.
1:05:14And the year before that, I attempted this thing and ended up putting myself in the hospital. I got rhabdo. Feet were torn apart, everything else, but I didn't have a strategy and have a plan. I just went after it. Right. Because I was confident. Right. Fast forward to the next year, I had a plan. I organized the programming. I trained consistently. And then my strategy was just put the bag on and step one foot at a time. And then I would go, all right, I'm going to do 10 miles in three hours. I'm going to rest for an hour and I'm going to do another 10 miles. And I'm going to do that for five days straight.
1:05:52At 50 miles the last time I got put in the hospital. At 50 miles the time that I finished, I was just getting warmed up. Come on, man. And so we finished 100 miles. and it wasn't because that you know I was different I had more physicality no it was because I had a strategy I had a plan and I stayed in tune with that plan and I stepped one foot in front of the other process is so important mm-hmm standards are important you senders standards are something you don't come off of right it's almost like determination you know it doesn't matter it's part of your identity it's who you are it's what you do no negotiations You know, but I really loved what you said about your shoes and your clothes.
1:06:35Every morning, my workout clothes are sitting folded, waiting for me right by the shower. Right? My shoes are there. Everything's there. Now, they're not right beside me because I've worked the discipline enough to know that when my alarm clock goes off, I don't even know what the snooze button is. I don't care about the snooze button anymore. It's just not a part of my life. So I know I can get up and I can walk to go get dressed. But if they're in the drawer, I don't want to wake up my wife. What if my seven-year-old comes in? I don't want to wake her up at 4 a.m. Then I'm going to get all these hate texts from my wife while I'm at the gym.
1:07:13Like, hey, you woke us up. But the process, the systems, the routine to automate your life to a point where people go, why do you always wear black? Well, because they don't have to think about it. True. And it's brand color, dipshit. Take a look. Right? It was like, I try to automate everything that I can. Hello. Yeah. You know, I try to automate everything that I can. You know, and that goes from food to what I wear to doesn't matter. You know, but dude, thank you so much, man. This has been amazing. And I can't wait until you come to Fort Myers. 100%. I'll be over there a couple weeks, man.
1:07:53Really? Okay. Shoot, I'm going to New York the 14th. Okay. Okay. let me know you're back yeah i'll be back um the 17th cool yeah come on may yeah let's do it let's do it man it'll be fun man perfect brother teach me some stuff man keep teaching me man i love it man it's just killing it hey listen dude that's that's what friendship is 100 you know uh we we inadvertently help each other and help each other grow man that's what it's all about so thanks again man for the audience thank you so much for listening uh go check phil out on instagram it's at Phil Daru, right? Just Daru Strong. Just Daru Strong, right?
1:08:30And go check him out, see everything that he's done, and support him and share the show with everybody you know, love, and trust. And until next time, guys, stay determined.
From the publisher
Phil Daru, world-class performance coach, former Mixed Martial Artist, and trainer to elite athletes like Dustin Poirier, Amanda Nunes, and Colby Covington, joins The Determined Society for a powerful conversation on discipline, faith, purpose, adversity, and what it really means to become unkillable in life.
In this episode, Phil opens up about his early life in Broward County, training martial arts from a young age, playing Division I football, losing both parents within months, becoming a father, and being forced to pivot after a neurologist told him one more hit could change his future. He shares how that moment led him from fighting to coaching, and how routine, repetition, faith, and service became the foundation of his work with fighters, Olympians, Special Forces operators, CEOs, and high performers. This conversation is about more than training. It is about finding your purpose, staying prepared, and building the mind, body, and spirit to keep moving forward when life hits back. The Determined Society is hosted by Shawn French — a show for people who
refuse to quit. Every episode goes beyond the highlight reel to explore
the real stories behind resilience, reinvention, and the relentless
pursuit of a life built on your own terms.
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