Bridging the Courage Gap in Your Business

0:08Hello and welcome to another episode of the Duct tape marketing podcast. This is John Jantz. My guest today is Margie Worrell. From the outback Australia to Fortune 500 boardrooms, NASA, and the U.S. Congress, Dr. Margie Worrell is a global authority on leadership, courage, and navigating risk. Bestselling author, speaker, and coach. She empowers people to make bold decisions. She's also the host of a show like this called the Live Brave Podcast. We're going to talk about her sixth book today, The Courage Gap, Five Steps to Braver Action. So Margie, welcome to the show. Great to be with you, John.

0:42So are you living in Australia? No, I am living on the same terra firma as you. I actually live just south of Washington, D.C., North Virginia. Okay. I was going to say, it would be a terrible hour to be doing a podcast in Australia. It would. 5 a.m. Yes. So let's start with the title of the book, The Courage Gap. What is it? Yeah. Well, John, have you ever had one of those times where you knew there was something you should do? Like you knew you needed to have a conversation. You knew you needed to make a change. You knew you needed to move someone out of a role. And yet you held back and you hesitated and you procrastinated and you rationalized.

1:25And I can see you nodding. Of course. Who has it? Well, you know, it is not a lack of knowledge that creates that gap between what we should do and what we do. it is a lack of courage and that gap is widened by our fear. What will happen? What if this person gets upset? What if I mess it up? What if I lose money? What if I get it wrong? What if it's really ugly and awkward and there's a huge fallout? What will people say? What if I fail? And so, our fear creates the gap between the actions we're entirely capable of taking, holding someone to account, getting rid of someone out of your business because they're not a fit, etc.

2:07Having a difficult conversation with your co-owner and what we actually do. And it takes courage to close that gap. But as I make the case at the start of the book, when we fail to take those risks, to make the change, take the chance, speak up, et cetera, we actually become more vulnerable to worse outcomes over time. So the discomfort we're trying to save ourselves, the thing we're trying to avoid, we actually end up suffering way more over time and end up in a worse place. And it's why, John, that most people, when I speak to them and I do a lot of speaking and run programs, and I'll say, hey, who here can sometimes regret that they took too long to do a difficult thing?

2:54And most people go, yep, yep, yep. You know, I've actually been in business 30 years. And so a couple of things I've learned over the years is every now and then you go through that fear and you do the thing. And actually what happened was way less worse than you thought it was going to be, right? And you start banking that. But then there have also been times when I've paused and that was the right thing to do too. So how do you differentiate between fear-based and a strategic pause? Yeah. Well, I think a pause can be very wise. Yeah. That is just before plowing forward, stepping back, just regrounding for a moment in like, okay, what's going on here?

3:39Where are my emotions getting away with me? And I think recognizing there's a difference between being brave and courageous and being reckless and foolhardy and impulsive and reactive. I'm talking about considered action. and I think what you're saying is that sometimes procrastination, but I would call it not procrastination. You're not, you know, oh, it's all too hard. It's actually saying, I'm just going to just stop for a moment and consider things thoughtfully. I'm going to try and get the emotions out of this and as objectively as I can think through the pros and cons, short-term and far-term of different courses of action and align with my values.

4:26What feels right for me? What has integrity here? What aligns with the kind of person, leader, business owner I want to be? Okay, now I'm going to move forward. And so there is a distinct difference. And I think practicing a pause is a lot of power in a pause. And I actually think that when we can stop the busy doing, doing, doing, and reconnect to who we're being, which let's face it, a lot of business owners rarely do, it actually high grades the actions we take. It's like, ah, this is what I need to do. It actually can help us be way more effective than just sometimes scurrying furiously and going in circles.

5:06So I'm going to probably wade into dangerous territory here. Let's go. Let's go. And we're talking about courage. We're going to talk about courage. You're right. Is there a difference in this gap, real or perceived between men and women. I'm, you know, I'm a white male born in America. Like, you know, I think I'm entitled to everything. So why would I have imposter syndrome, right? I'm being somewhat facetious, but not. Is it much harder, say, for a woman to particularly, or somebody who doesn't have, you know, the advantages that, you know, feels like that imposter syndrome is because they're like, do I belong here?

5:43Yes, there is absolutely a difference, a gendered difference in our experience of our circumstances of ourselves, of our ability to navigate what might feel risky. And let me just start by saying that this concept of courage, one, yes, it's a trait. Some people naturally come out of the womb with just a higher tolerance for risk than others. And yes, there's a gender element to that too. you know i think of my sons like mom look no hands riding their bike down a hill and my daughter never did that but yes i mean i'm generalizing but i think there's some truth to that men like seeking out a high adrenaline activities more so than women so i think part of that might be nature part of it nurture we're not going to debate that but recognizing courage isn't just the isn't just choosing to take action in the presence of fear it is also the management of our fear and often we have more fear than we need to have.

6:46So we have this magnified perception of risk. Oh, I could never do that. Oh my God, that would be just terrifying. And actually you can do it and it's only as terrifying as you're making it to be, like to start a business, to expand into a new market, to hold someone accountable, et cetera. And as you said before, sometimes we lay awake in bed. Oh my God, I'll let this person go. I'll go hold them accountable. And then we do it, we go, oh, it wasn't that hard. I should have just done it. But for women, you know, and speaking as a woman, and I grew up in Australia where I think there's also a cultural difference in Australia as well to the USA.

7:22But I think women, partially because of our social conditioning, do struggle more with self-doubt, do second guess themselves more, do often not feel as confident to put themselves out there to just try something and wing it. I've seen a lot of men going, hey, let's just try this. I don't know quite what I'm doing, but I'll just wing it and I'll fumble through and I'll mess up a few times. And when I do, I'll just go, oh yeah, whatever, learn something, move on. Women, we ruminate, we second guess, we beat ourselves up when we don't do things perfectly. Let's be honest. Sometimes you don't get a second chance.

8:01Whereas just what you said, So there's this fear of like, I can't screw up. Yeah. And that's true. Women are judged more harshly when they don't get things right. We know we've heard the glass cliff phenomena, et cetera. But I also think as women, we can sometimes unwittingly internalize misogyny. Like we are biased against ourselves. We judge ourselves more harshly. We also judge other women more harshly. This is actually backed by a lot of data. Women are harder on other women. So there was a great experiment out of Columbia, the Heidi Howard experiment, where they were looking at the CVs. They were exactly the same and some of them were titled Heidi and some of them were titled Howard, exact same words.

8:47And when people were looking at it, would you want to employ this one or this one? And they were described as being ambitious and competitive. When it was Howard, like, yeah, he sounds like a good guy to have on the team. When it was Heidi, it's like, oh, I don't want to have her. Ambitious and competitive. So just recognizing we can be hard on ourselves. And so I think I have done a lot of work with women, business owners, women leaders, entrepreneurs over the years. And I wrote about this in my prior book called You've Got This. I've had to say so many times, you've got this. Go for it. Back yourself.

9:20Take the risk. Don't wait until you know exactly what you're doing. Do not wait until you are 100 % confident. just do it and give yourself permission to figure it out as you go along. And I really have to, I don't have to say that as much to men. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm glad we went there. Obviously that was a little, and that's not critical. By the way, that is not critical of men. I'm often like, do more, do more of what he does because hey, it's working for him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me go straight to a topic I hear all the time. I mean, very specific courage gap. I work with a lot of marketing consultants, marketing agencies.

9:56We do training. We license our methodologies to them. And one of the things I have to work on the most right from the beginning is getting them to understand they need to raise their prices. And that's one that a lot of businesses, they sit in front of a client and they're like, will they pay me? Can I say this? And sometimes I just say, look, just do it. Just like next time you have a sales call, double your price and just say it and see what happens. Like what could happen, right? They could say no or you got a really high paying client. And boy, do they struggle with that. Do you notice a gender difference?

10:29Not as much as you'd think, actually, in that. But again, and we do, I mean, we probably, at least 50 % of the folks that join our program are women. And so I don't see that so much, but they all under charge. And there's really, and I think it goes to this, I don't even think it's like, will I get rejected? It's, am I worth it? So how do you get through that gap? So am I worth it? I think it's such a big question to ask ourselves. and what is my worth? What is my value? And am I going to ask more than the market can bear? And I'm like, well, the only way you find that out is by risking asking for more than the market can bear.

11:06And you're like, okay, well, they weren't willing to pay 50K. Okay, well, how's 40? But if you're asking 20, then you're not going to get 30 or 40. But I do think being willing to ask for what you really think you're worth and being clear here too, what is this commercially worth to them? because often we think about, oh, am I worth$30 ,000? Well, I'm like, man, if the outcomes people get, I do a lot of work with CEOs and C-suite leaders. I'm like, if working with me as a coach could increase your bottom line by half a million bucks or a million or five million or avoid you making a mistake that could cost you way more than that, then, man, you know, yeah, that's worth 50K.

11:53Okay. So, so I think, you know, making sure you're thinking about not in terms of what you think you're worth, but what is this worth to them too? Yeah. Yeah. And I, I have used that to really give people a posture too, is, is really, if you're going back and reviewing results and you can actually say, Oh, I doubled their business. You know, what am I only asking X for? You know, it really gets a lot easier, you know, with that data. Do you have some habits, you talk about courage muscles. Do you have some habits or daily exercises that you really seem to work to help people build that courage muscle?

12:24Yeah. Well, I think firstly is doing more of whatever helps you bring your best, bravest self to whatever challenges and whatever goals that you've got. And I think that can cross over multiple realms. I think of it as physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual in terms of what is it that helps you physically have the energy so that you're not exhausted because it's hard to climb a mountain and be brave if you're just exhausted. Mentally, are you focused on the highest leverage things? And, or are you overwhelmed? You know, you don't even know which way to look. So that is crucial. Emotionally, what is it that helps you just process through the stress that you've got on and navigate some of those emotions that actually get in the way of you doing the very things you could do?

13:13And I think self-doubt is a really big one. And so, you know, for me, you know, I start my day every day with some exercise. I read something. I write down what are my number one, my top like three to five goals I want to get done today and who is it I need to be today. And, you know, for me at a spiritual level, and I say that without being religious or anything like that, just being, you know, what is it that I feel is going to make the the biggest mark and it's going to make the biggest impact for those I'm here to serve today that aligns with my core values and what gives me a sense of purpose and meaning.

13:53And so I think all of those things, when we're kind of regularly doing small little things, like those daily habits, whether it's journaling and it's exercising, connecting in with people that can hold you to account and bring out your best, putting some guardrails around those who don't. Those small little things that, you know, a question I often ask myself is what would I do if I was being brave today? And it's like, you know what? I would reach out to John and I would say, Hey John, Hey, let's have coffee, you know, or Hey John, you know, can I be on your podcast? Not that that's how this came to be, but, but, but put yourself out there, like ask yourself, what would I do today if I was being brave?

14:29And then do that very thing that comes to mind because courage is a muscle we have to put in the reps. All right, I'm going to put you in coaching mode here. I am a salesperson and I'm going to call on what could be the biggest account of my life. And I'm really afraid of getting rejected. How would you help me reframe? Oh, beautiful one. I would start with principle one in the courage gap. Focus on what you want and not on what you fear. So if you're terrified of being rejected, oh my gosh, I hope I make this. Oh, what if I don't? Oh my gosh, it's going to be so, I'll feel terrible. But you're putting all your energy into the outcome you don't want.

15:09It's like praying for what you don't want to happen. And what you focus on expands. So I would be like, one, what does success look like? Visualize the best possible outcome. I walk out of there, I've landed it. And why is that great? Well, not only because it's good for you, but how is this serve them? So make sure it's not just about you, but how is this in service of something bigger than just you? Yeah, you're great to get the commission, great to get the contract, great for whatever comes through it, but also focus on why is this good, not just for you, but for them. So focus on that win-win and what is your highest intention here?

15:47Yeah, you want to get it, but not just for your sake. And I think just getting that real clarity of your positive outcome because if you are not committed and clear and the positive outcome you want to create, fear is going to fill the void. And so your commitment to a positive outcome has to exceed your fear of a negative outcome. And if all you're doing is going, oh, I'm terrified, I'm going to be rejected. I'm like, stop. I would even have someone write it down. Write down what does wild success look like going into this meeting? Write down why this is good, not just for you, but why is this good for them?

16:22What is the value that you want to bring? Write down what is the mindset, the belief that I need to operate from, that I have everything it takes, that I'm fully worthy and deserving. And why not me? Because if it's not me, it's going to be John. So why not me? And then ground yourself in the values that define who you want to be and go into that from that place of being worthy, of having integrity, of being brave, of being generous, of being someone that makes others' lives better. And then I would finally say, shift your posture. Take a big, deep breath, breathe in courage, breathe out fear, and stand tall, hold your shoulders back, because our physiology impacts our psychology.

17:08So there's one of the things I've noticed this first quarter, maybe we're turning the corner, I hope so, but there's a lot of fear based just in unknown right now, geopolitical things, economic things, and that has a tendency to make people sort of freeze. How do you get people through the unknown? It's like, well, I don't know what's going to happen, so how do I act courageous? Yeah. And when there is a lot of uncertainty, it innately triggers anxiety because we all like certainty. Our brains are wired to make plans. That's the only thing we hate. Yeah. To make plans on a future that we can predict with some level of confidence.

17:46And right now people go, I don't know how much confidence I have in my prediction abilities, right? The future has got a lot of unknowns. It's very volatile. It's very unpredictable. But here's what I say to people all the time. There's always been uncertainty. There will always be uncertainty. And if you are waiting for certainty before you make a move, you're going to get left behind and you're going to be in the dust of those who are taking action amid the unknowns. but this isn't about being reckless. It's about going, what's my best guess here? How do I manage potential downsides? I'm not betting the family farm on a racehorse, but I'm going, okay, let me take a few steps forward here.

18:30Quickly reassess, is this working, not working? What am I learning? And shorten those learning cycles. Because as they say in battle, it is safer to run left or right in the fog of battle in gunfire than it is to stand still. because when you're standing still, you're not getting any information. You're not getting any feedback. But when you're in motion, oh, okay, this is working, this isn't working. You're getting something that's going to put you in a better position as there is more certainty over time. So to anyone listening to this and you're holding back, you're like, do I, don't I? It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

19:07Sometimes it can be incremental, but what's something you can do today that's moving you forward. Awesome. Well, Margie, I appreciate you stopping by the Ductate Marketing Podcast. Is there some place you'd invite people to connect with you and obviously find out more about The Courage Gap? Yeah, thanks, John. Well, you can head over to my website, margieworrell.com. And The Courage Gap, I have a whole page on there and a video, et cetera, tells you about it, but you can also get it on Amazon and everywhere good books are sold. And I also encourage people to connect with me on LinkedIn and Insta and social media.

19:39I'm everywhere under my name. All right. Awesome. Again, appreciate you. Bye-bye. Hopefully, we'll run into you one of these days out there on the road. Awesome. Thanks, John.