How To Turn Adversity Into Purpose Through Mindset

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1:03Hello and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is Jon Jantz and my guest today is Siri Lindley. She is a two-time world champion triathlete and winner of 12 ITU World Cup races. She's a top female triathlon coach in the world and she got an Olympic medalist and Ironman champion to not only become better athletes but also better people. She's also a life coach, keynote speaker, founder of two nonprofits, Believe It Ranch and Rescue and Horses in Our Hands, Survivor and Thriver. And we're going to talk about her new book, Finding a Way, Taking the Impossible and Making it Possible.

1:45So welcome to the show. Well, thank you for having me, John. I'm thrilled to be here. So you took just like the most traditional path available to becoming a coach and author. And so your life has, and I'm sure you've spent a lot of time telling this, your life has some pretty amazing chapters. So have you found a way to kind of condense it into, here's my background? Well, you're exactly right. And I think every single one of us have different chapters in our lives. And what I've realized in my life is that it's been through my greatest challenges that I, of course, experienced the greatest growth.

2:32And in those moments, the decisions that I made in order to move out of a space of suffering are exactly the decisions that move me forward towards the life that I dreamed of living. But I think that my story, you know, as a kid, as a college student, I was overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. I was a student at Brown University, three-sport varsity athlete, but on the inside, I was just slowly dying. I was really suffering with anxiety. And in those days, people didn't talk about anxiety. They didn't talk about fear. They didn't talk about OCD. So I thought I was just this crazy person. And this kind of led me to my greatest mentor, Tony Robbins, with his first book that he'd written, Unlimited Power.

3:25And this book woke me up to the truth that I am the conductor of my own symphony of life. and if I don't like the music I'm creating, which I didn't, I was very unhappy, I'm the only one that has the power to change, me. And I think so often we forget that life is in our hands and we need to own the experience that we're having because what we're experiencing in life is a result of what we're focusing on, the meaning we're giving things and the decisions that we make, what we choose to do about it. And at that time I was creating a tragedy. So I decided that instead of always focusing on everything that was missing, everything that was wrong, everything that I had no control over, everything that I didn't want to have happen, that I was going to use the same discipline that I put into my studies and in my sports and use that to discipline my focus in as many moments as possible to focus on what I wanted, what I loved, what I had, and what I could control.

4:31And that started kind of took me out of this horrible space I was in at that time, leading me to wanting to figure out who the heck I am. Because, yeah, sorry. You were an athlete, but you, did you just wake up one day and say, I'm going to try the hardest sport possible? And oh, and by the way, I can't swim. Right. Right. So I've been a field hockey, ice hockey and lacrosse player. But I, at the time when I found triathlon, I actually had just discovered that I was gay. And it was a big discovery that was scary at that time. And my father, my hero didn't respond very well to that. And I lost my father when he realized that I was gay.

5:14So this kind of set me on this desperate mission to prove to myself that even though I was gay, I could achieve something that I thought was special, that I could make a difference in the world, that I could be loved, that I could respect myself and find a worthiness from within. And it was literally the day after our phone call where that was it at that time when I found triathlon. I went and watched a race and I just loved that there were people of all ages, sizes, abilities, but they were all just like digging so deep to find more within themselves. So even though I didn't know how to swim, after watching that, I said, this is what I want to do.

5:55And for me, for my sake, to earn my own love, my own respect, I am going to one day, I'm going to set the goal that one day I'm going to be the best in the world, which was ridiculous. My first race, dead last. My first race, I'm yelled at, you know, people laughing at me. But for me, there was a really important reason why I at least had to show up and lean in and try. So at the top of that game, you're diagnosed with a disease that gave you somewhere around 5 % chance of survival. So how did that change the game? in every way I mean it's in that moment I think I'd spent my lifetime up until that point wanting to find freedom from within wanting to find freedom from my pain freedom to be all of who I am and I found it you know I found it and then I get this diagnosis and it brought me to my knees, but in the same note, like I'll never forget standing there with my wife.

7:03Finally, I found the love of my life. And the doctor is talking to me and saying, Siri, you know, you've got acute myeloid leukemia. You've got a genetic mutation. And my wife is screaming at the top of her lungs. I hear his voice. And the story I'm hearing is, this is the end. And I wasn't willing to live that story. So in that moment, even though I didn't believe it myself, I said, I'm going to survive and I'm going to thrive. Now think about this, John. Even though I didn't like, did I believe that in that moment? No, I'm terrified. I'm brought to my knees. I'm devastated, but I couldn't afford to live.

7:43Imagine how I would show up if I agreed that this is the end. Would I show up ready to fight and do whatever it takes and find a way and, you know, discipline my folks in every moment? No, if it's the end, I'm going to show up a lot different to I'm going to survive and I'm going to thrive on the other side. So what meaning do you give a challenge like that? What meaning do you give it? Are you giving it a meaning that's going to lead you to showing up in a way that is going to help you move towards what you want? Or are you showing up in a way that is going to ensure the end? It's up to you. And even though in that moment, when I said those words, I didn't necessarily believe it.

8:28I needed to become the person that did believe that she would survive, that did believe that she would thrive on the other side. What would she do? Future me that survives this. What would she do? What actions would she take? What meaning would she give what's happening and be her every single day until I became her? how and i suspect this is still hard to talk about sometimes but how much of that belief do you attribute to actually surviving all of it because think about this i mean the meaning you give something determines how you show up what energy you show up with which then determines the actions that you take and i believe that was the most important thing was deciding knowing that my outcome was to survive this.

9:21My outcome, and I remember saying it, you know, I walked into the first big meeting I had with my medical team. And when I walked in, I could see the looks on their faces. And it was that look of like, oh my God, she's so young. And this is so sad. And I walked in and I said, look, I'm going to survive this and I'm going to thrive on the other side. This is going to be my most beautiful triumph. And if there is anyone here that doesn't believe in that, I need you to leave because I need to surround myself with people that believe as much as I do that this is possible. So think about like, who are you surrounding yourself with?

10:01And what are you clearly articulating what you want? And is everyone else that's on, you know, are they on board? But the, you know, From that point, in every single moment where I was deeply suffering, I mean, in my darkest moments, I would catch myself and I would say, Siri, focusing on how sick you are, how weak you are, how terrified you are, that is not going to help you heal. So I would change the channel just to gratitude for the fact that I had health insurance, gratitude for my doctors, my donors, my mom who slept on the couch in the hospital every night. And that gratitude was the bridge from despair to hope.

10:43The gratitude gave me a little bit more energy where I could make better decisions on what to focus on. And thus fill myself with more of what I needed to actually take steps towards surviving. And we all can do this. And now let's hear a word from our sponsor, Marketing Made Simple. It's a podcast hosted by Dr. J.J. Peterson and is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Marketing Made Simple brings you practical tips to make your marketing easy and more importantly, make it work. In a recent episode, J.J. and April chat with StoryBrand certified guides and agency owners about how to use ChatGPT for marketing purposes.

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12:07Use a set of tools that took us over 20 years to create, and you can have them today. Check it out at dtm.world slash certification. That's dtm.world slash certification. So I have heard, you know, many people who've overcome such adversity survived when they weren't expected to, you know, come out of the other side of that with like, well, now I really, I have a debt to pay, right? I mean, I now have to, like you had accomplished a lot already, but I suspect that that drives you to say, you know, who am I not to accomplish more? 1 million percent, John. I mean, you're spot on with that. And, you know, I lost a lot of friends that were on the same clinical trials as me.

12:53And I'm not going to live this life with survivor's guilt. I'm going to live this life with survivor's responsibility, that I have a responsibility to bring every ounce of my soul into this world and to hopefully make a positive difference in the world and every human that I encounter. And that's where this book was born. You know, there was a very powerful moment as I, where I was really sick and I actually didn't know, you know, God, what if I'm not here tomorrow? And in a moment like that, you start thinking about, well, gosh, like, is it okay if like, if this is my last day, did I live my life in a way that I'll be happy with.

13:38And as I thought about it, there were certain things that were the most important to me. And that was, did I love with all my heart? Did I love everyone in my life? Did I show them love? Did I tell them I love them? Did I love what I did? Did I love myself? Like, did I love with all my heart? Did I live fearlessly? meaning did I say yes to things that scared the crap out of me? Yeah, I had, you know, I did triathlon. I sucked. That was scary. I did it. So that was fearless, but you know, there are other things I can do more. I can be more. And lastly, you know, did I make a difference in the world?

14:21And I had, you know, with my athletes, I touched their lives. I made a difference, but I thought, God, there's just so much more that I can do. In that moment, John, and that moment of reflection that was really difficult, in that moment, I realized what my purpose in life is. My purpose in life is to love with all my heart, to bring love into the world and, you know, to live fearlessly, to be an example and to every single day, try and make a difference in this world. And so when people ask, like, why did I write this book now? It's because this book is all those things. This book is my mission.

15:03This book is my purpose. This book delivers all of that. And for me, I just know that it's going to help so many people because this isn't a book about me. It's a book about me saying, Hey, John, let me take your hand. You know, I'll tell you my story, but now, you know, let's do a little deep dive into what matters most to you. And let's find a way for you to overcome challenges that seem insurmountable. Let's find a way for you to make the impossible possible. And that's my gift. And I know that hopefully it will be a gift to everyone that reads it. So you coach athletes and you also coach non-athletes as a life coach.

15:47Is there a difference really? Obviously they have different, totally different goals and things, but is there really a difference in terms of how you break through? John, I love that question because I had a hilarious, I had an athlete, Miranda Carfrae, a four-time world champion, coached her for 14 years. And just in the last couple of years, I've really moved away from coaching triathletes and more coaching humans. And I was having a conversation with her and she said, but Siri, you've always been a life coach. And I'm like, what are you talking about? She said, oh my God, like, yes, you coach swimming, biking, and running, but you are much more a life coach than like a swim, bike, and run coach.

16:29And so it occurred to me that this isn't anything different at all. I'm just actually calling it what it should have been called all along. So that's such a good question. I love that you caught that because no, it's the same thing minus the going to the pool and showing people how to swim and all the technical details, but I'm just continuing everything that I've done for 25 years. Well, most life coaching is about mindset changing or mindset adopting. And I mean, as a triathlete, how much of your success is mindset? I would say, and I tell my athletes this, I know people talk about 80 % mental, 20 % physical.

17:13I actually think it's more. I think it's like 90 % mental, 10 % physical. And anytime you see an athlete struggling at any point in their career, it's a mental shift that's needed, not a physical one. And so for that reason, there is, it's like, you know, you have a formula with your duct tape marketing, you have a formula and it's, you know, you're showing people how to achieve and how to repeat those results and to continue to like, it's the same thing with, as we stay attuned to our mental state and what we're bringing to the table, whether it be in business and sport and our lives and our relationships, as we pay attention to that and we put the same formula to that, you can have that continued success.

18:03And it is absolutely crucial. It's staying, it's keeping you connected to, you know, what matters most to you, why you're doing this in the first place and staying connected to that and staying connected to a mindset that is going to see you every single day, no matter whether you're in a good time or a bad time, it's going to see you moving forward, not back. And that's the key. You know, it's funny. I think a lot of times when people think of athletes, all they really see is race day. Right. And I always laugh because I think entrepreneurs, you know, are it's race day every day, you know, and sometimes I don't think, you know, a good athlete, I mean, a true, you train hard, you rest hard, you know, you focus on all the, you know, all the routines.

18:48And I think a lot of times entrepreneurs just show up and it's race day every day. And we sometimes don't take care of, you know, ourselves to prepare, you know, for race day. That's right. And I think, you know, the thing about being an athlete, you may have a race once a month, but it's day after day showing up, leaning in and doing the work. You know, it took me eight years from when I started triathlon to become a world champion. It didn't happen overnight. And there was a lot of failure involved. And I think this is crucial too. Let's look at your definition of success and failure. Let's create definitions of those two things that actually see you building momentum and succeeding every day.

19:31For me, success was progress. If I make a tiny bit of progress every single day, either physically, mentally, emotionally, I'm succeeding. And then for me, failure was learning. Every time we fail, that's when we're going to learn the most. That's when we're going to grow. That's when we're going to become the person we need to be to achieve the goal. So for me, even though I sucked and I'm failing, coming And last, because I define success as progress, failure as learning, I was always moving forward. And that's what kept me going to get to the point where I needed to go. Yeah. From years of hindsight, observing this, I can say that, you know, I've gotten to the point in my business where if something doesn't happen that I thought was supposed to or that I thought I wanted to, I really started, as Pollyanna as this sounds, I really started saying, okay, something else.

20:24more amazing is supposed to happen. Yes. I love that attitude. And here's the thing, that attitude serves you. So why would you give it any other meaning that's going to make you feel bad or discourage you or you lose confidence? Don't do that. Give things a meaning that is actually going to empower you and move you forward. Yeah. Tell me a little bit about your your nonprofits. You obviously, I can barely see a picture of a horse there as a part of it. So tell me a little bit about Rescue Ranch. I'm sorry, Believe Ranch and Rescue and then the horses on our hands. Well, Believe Ranch and Rescue, we actually rescue horses from slaughter.

21:0460 ,000 horses a year when we started were being slaughtered for human consumption. And it was just a horrific practice. This horse came into my life and changed me in a matter of months. And And when I got online and looked up, why did I need to rescue a horse? That's when I realized what was happening. So that was about six years ago. Since then, we've saved 265 horses, most of whom have gone on to heal humans. So it's come full circle. They are incredible healers, people with anxiety, trauma, PTSD, people facing, you know, really dire diagnoses. It's just the work that we do almost every weekend is just so profoundly transformative for people.

21:53So but from that, we'd rescued 265 horses and we thought, you know, this is a bandaid. So we formed another nonprofit, Horses in Our Hands, which is a 501C4, which is lobbying in Washington, D.C. to actually pass a bill that will ban this once and for all. And through our Raising Awareness campaign, we've reached 84 million homes, sent about 250 ,000 letters. And the numbers of horses being slaughtered has gone from 60 ,000 to 23 ,000 last year. So even though the bill hasn't passed, our work has really had an impact on in raising awareness, lowering that number. You know, 40 ,000 horses are still here today thanks to our work.

22:41So it's very important work for us because it's saving the horses who are saving the humans. And that just feels like the ultimate privilege to do this kind of work. Well, we didn't get into chapter by chapter on finding a way, but I really wanted to have people hear a sense of you because that comes through in the book as well. But please invite people to where they might connect or find the book or whatever you want to share. Awesome. Well, Finding a Way, Taking the Impossible and Making it Possible, Forward, written by Tony Robbins, my greatest mentor. Yeah, I meant to point that out. I mean, you mentioned that was a book that really impacted you.

23:17Obviously, Tony Robbins didn't know who you were at that point. And now to come full circle with that to where he writes the forward and he does a testimonial video, that's pretty awesome. Yeah, it feels he's just, he truly has lit the path for me for my entire life without even knowing it. But to have him write the forward just means everything to me. So that's pretty special. But if you want to download a free chapter, text GOFIRST to 66866 and you'll get a free chapter. But most importantly, I hope that you will get online and buy the book. A dollar of every book goes to Feeding America. Tony is going to match that.

23:59So$2 of every book goes to Feeding America. And the rest, anything that comes to me is going to save horses. So it's for a good cause. But most importantly, I believe that this book, should you give it a try, is going to really change your life. I believe in that. And I'm so looking forward to sharing it with all of you. And I thank you, John, so much for offering me the opportunity to share a little bit of me and a little bit about this mission and purpose. It means so much to me. You're amazing. Thank you so much. I appreciate you stopping by the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. And hopefully we'll run into you one of these days out there on the road.

24:39Can't wait. Thank you, John. Hey, and one final thing before you go. You know how I talk about marketing strategy, strategy before tactics. Well, sometimes it can be hard to understand where you stand in that. what needs to be done with regard to creating a marketing strategy. So we created a free tool for you. It's called the marketing strategy assessment. You can find it at marketingassessment.co, not.com,.co. Check out our free marketing assessment and learn where you are with your strategy today. That's just marketingassessment.co. I'd love to chat with you about the results that you get.