Unlocking Your Leadership Potential

0:07Hello and welcome to another episode of the duct tape marketing podcast. This is John Jantz, and my guest today is Hortense Le Gentile. She's a world-renowned executive leadership coach, speaker, and author. She guides CEOs and senior executives on their journey from hero leaders to human leaders. Guided by 30 years in business working across industries, including media consulting and advertising, and as an entrepreneur, she's the author of a book we're going to talk about today, the unlocked leader. Dare to free your own voice, lead with empathy, and shine your light in the world. So, Artas, bienvenue.

0:46Merci beaucoup. Thank you for having me, John. That's all of the French that I'm going to attempt today, but I nailed that one, didn't I? Oh, you did great. You just love this one. All right. So, in the book, there is a concept you call mind traps. That's a big part of the book. So let's start there and let's define what a mind trap is and how it impacts us. So I like to say that the mind trap is a mental obstacle that is on your way to move forward. This is something that holds you back. It can be something that you used to be, for example, like I used to be perfect or to try to reach perfection it was a driver for me but you know now i feel like it doesn't work anymore so it's you know when you feel like you know something is holding you back holds you back and you can you know even feel you know unhappy and satisfied you cannot be completely yourself and enjoy it happened to everyone i don't know if it happened to you but You know, it's every moment, a lot of moments in our life, it happened to us and it happened to me.

1:58So, and I remember it was more than 15 years ago. So let's get into that. I want to clarify, how is that different than, excuse me, than a limiting belief? You know, like I'm not good enough to lead or something. How is it different from that? So let's say that can be cousin. They can be cousin. because mind trap is really, you know, where it's for me, it's where you are stuck. So limiting belief when you think I'm not, you know, for example, yes, that could be because you are, because this is a consequence, let's say, because you are trapped somewhere. And then you begin to think, okay, why, why, why do I think like that?

2:37What is behind that, behind the scene? So behind the scene, you will find the real reason. And this is what I call the mind trap. So let's use your example that you were starting to bring up there from 15 years ago to maybe even help clarify that further. Okay. Yes. No, I just wanted to explain that 15 years ago, I felt completely lost and stuck in my life, personal life and professional life. And then I was lost. I didn't know what to do. And then, of course, everything went south. And I went, you know, stuck in bed for four months. So I had plenty of time to think. And then at the time, at that time I had, you know, the dream, I had the dream and my grandmother, it was a grandmother that I just loved.

3:23And she came back in my dream and she told me something very simple. She told me, you have to find the bath of roses. And no idea where was the bath of roses. So I asked her in my dream and I said, okay, what is that? And where is it? Because more important, where is it? I want to find the rose, you know. And she said, you just look at me and smile. And she said, you know where it is. And then I woke up. Of course, I was furious. She didn't give me the answer. But I will understand later what she meant was very important. She meant that I had to listen to my inner voice. And very often, this is why we are stuck somewhere.

4:06Because we are not listening to our own voice. We are not confident enough. Because it can be risky. It can be difficult. You need to be courageous to take sometimes difficult decision. And then this is what I learned. And when I began to listen to my own voice, yes, I could do that. Yes, I could change my life personally and professionally. Yes, I could do that and that. This is what I did. And I began to free myself. All right. So what if you can't trust that inner voice? I mean, there's a lot of things that we call an inner voice that are telling us things that aren't altogether positive. I mean, how do you tell the difference between, yeah, that's the right guidance as opposed to that's just continue to keep me locked?

4:49Huh. Interesting. Okay, listen. So what we know, I think it's more a feeling. So when you want to take a decision, whatever the decision is, right, I think we know the decision. And when it's a hard decision to take, we need someone, you know, with who, you know, shares this decision. And you're looking for someone who say, yes, do it. But sometimes you can wait a long time before anybody, you know, is like, I agree with you. So I would say that this voice is the one that you feel. So you know, you know, we all know, you know exactly what we should do. And sometimes we are not ready. and that one day when you are stuck, it's time to face that and to listen to that voice.

5:37So what do you really want to do? And not, you know, the voices behind that, because of course, when you are stuck somewhere, you need to track the source. So who said you that? For example, who said that you cannot be a CEO? For example, I had a client like that. And who said that? you know it was a professor it was a teacher years ago you know this professor was you know told that that young person that you will never be a ceo because you can i can see all the emotion on your face yeah and so it was so surprised so you know you we are making association because we are living with the voices that you know the community authority whatever the voices around us And also, our brain is cooking voices for us because we are looking for meaning.

6:29Okay, why? Yes, I should do that. No, I don't should. All the time. So silence. I think I read it in your intro, but it certainly shows up in the book, this idea of taking people from the hero leader to the human leader. Explain that concept. So this is it. You know that, so we need to free ourselves from those mind traps to become human leader. And why should we become human? It's because the world has changed and the expectation has changed also. People, they want to connect with you. They don't need another hero like Tina Turner said. No, we don't need another hero. We need someone with who we can relate, we can understand, we can connect.

7:21And the only way to do that is by being human, by, you know, using your secret weapon with, that is, the empathy. And you need that. And I think that every leader knows that because a lot have been said about why we should lead with empathy. but less when it comes to the how do we do that and you need courage to do it it's very courageous because you have to unlearn what you learned and but it's another dimension i would say so now you have to inspire and take care of people it's completely different yeah and i think a lot of leaders fall into the trap of believing i have to have this strong front that you know i'm in charge of everything.

8:05I have all the answers. And that's probably an aspect that right or wrong holds a lot of people back, doesn't it? Exactly. Exactly. Because we are raised like that. Your education at school, I'm sure everyone was telling you, oh, don't show your emotion. Right. And have all the answer. But who has all the answer? John, tell me. Who could predict a pandemic? Who can predict, you know, can we say that we are living in a crazy world today? Every day something happens. How can you alone have all the answers? That's absolutely not possible. So the core concept of the book, of course, is unlocking yourself as a leader.

8:50What does that process look like? Obviously, it's very drawn out in the book, but give us the high level. What is the process of unlocking yourself as a leader look like? So it's going to this process of, okay, be aware that we are locked and okay, are we ready to go, you know, to start this journey? Because it's not a, it's a journey. It's not a destination. And how we do that. So we face our fears first because it's, we are afraid. Maybe we're, you know, we're used to do another way. You need to change. And then we go to, okay, where are my trap? Where I am, you know, stuck. Right. And you track the source, like we said.

9:26and then when you track the source, you find the source, then you go to what I call the mind shift. So you change your mindset and with some questions, powerful questions, you ask yourself, okay, so you track the source and you said, is it true? Is it relevant? Is it helpful what I'm thinking right now? And then you let go. And then you're able, you're free yourself and you are able to write your own story. But maybe let me share very quickly an example. So I have this client. He was considered to be the next CEO of the company. And so he went through a process in front of a panel of other leaders in order to be the next CEO.

10:15And then out of nowhere, out of the blue, his behavior changed. And he became very talkative. He was talking all the time, didn't listen. It changed completely. So he was surprised. Everybody was surprised. And of course, he didn't get the job. Then we had this conversation and he told me, I don't know. I don't know what happened, Hortense. I don't know. I said, okay, so let's figure out. And then revisiting his life, he remembered that years ago, he had to pass an exam. In order to pass an exam, he has to be in front of a panel of teachers. And then one of the teachers didn't let him talk. So he was shocked.

10:59It was a trauma. One of the codes, you know, what is behind. It became a trauma. And then this was the same story that I shared before. This, you know, teacher told him, I don't know what you're going to do, young guy, but you will never be a CEO. Because I can see all your emotion on your face. This young guy, very smart, began his life thinking that you don't have to show your emotion. And second, he was not aware. He forgot this conversation, but his unconscious didn't. And the way, the day, the first opportunity that unconscious has to remember that, he talked in order to not have the same situation that he had before.

11:48and then so going to this process of you know you track the source where it's coming from it was coming from there in this case there were trauma and voices so they are the two main families of the source of you know of your mind trap so he found the source and then i asked him the three question is it true is it relevant is it helpful today that you're going to be a ceo and you don't have to show your emotion. He said, no, I know. I said, okay. So we let go. So we walk and let go. And then you begin to write your own story. What is important for you? How you want to be remembered? How do you want to show up as a leader?

12:28What difference you want to make in the world or around you? And all that, you know, what are your values? And you begin to write your own story because you don't live, you know, you live your own life. You don't live the life that, you know, someone wants for you. Even if you think it's a bit overhyped, AI is suddenly everywhere from self-driving cars to molecular medicine to business efficiency. If it's not in your industry yet, it's coming fast. But AI needs a lot of speed and computing power. So how do you compete with costs spiraling out of control? It's time to upgrade to the next generation of the cloud, Oracle Cloud Infrastructure, or OCI.

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13:56That's oracle.com slash duct tape. So after you've worked with somebody or somebody goes through this process and they are embracing empathy, they are becoming maybe more human, but that's not how their team has experienced them to date. Is that a bit jarring? It's like, where's the old John? Or does it just take consistency and proving that you mean it? So good, of course. But what I recommend very often is it's difficult to change how people think about you. So what I always recommend is to share with your team. So at one point, you say, okay, my name is Hortense, and I want to work on being a better leader and connect better with yourself and have more empathy, whatever it is, or communicate better with you.

14:49and then it's then you know your team or your environment is aware oh great she want to change okay and you ask for help and say and i need help and then everyone wants to help you no worries about that and then they say okay so let's do it together then it's faster for two reasons first they're aware that you're doing something and they appreciate the fact that you you want to be better, then you give the tone so they can also be, okay, I can walk also to be better. It's all right to not be, you know, perfect. Then you set the tone and also they help you because you are in the middle of meeting and things like that.

15:32And after you, maybe you ask for feedback and said, you know, what feedback do you have for me? Not, maybe not every day. I mean, but when you feel it or when you decide, and then it's all together that you're going to work on that. So on your side, you do your homework of unlocking yourself. And in fact, of telling, be sure of the message and vision that you have and really who you are, connect with yourself, because empathy begins to start with yourself. First, you have to connect with yourself. Who am I? What do I want? Can you really say how you are to yourself? Can you say that? Who are you?

16:11And then when you are very clear on that, because that is a personal walk. When you're very clear on that, you're ready to practice. You're ready to do it. And after, again, it's a journey. It's not a destination. So every day we learn something and every day we evolve. And then it's wonderful because it changes everything. I imagine a level of self-awareness or at least a desire to uncover some self-awareness is really the starting point for all this, right? I mean, you can't really do that. You can't do the work you're talking about unless you discover some level of self-awareness. Exactly. I mean, would you say that's accurate?

16:48If you don't know where to start, yes, that's absolutely accurate. So a lot of leadership, I have a lot of people who have written books on leadership. I speak with people that have development programs, and a lot of them really try to focus on competencies and skills. Do you get some pushback when, I mean, you're literally telling people that they have to develop their consciousness? you know so do you get some pushback from people that feel like how is that relevant not that much in fact because you know i think yeah if we are honest with ourselves all of us we know where what where we have to evolve and we know that part is very hard and we don't know where to begin when to start as i said so no i don't think so and and because most of the leader that i know So, you know, they know after you need courage to come and to ask for that.

17:39So if you're not ready, if you, but most of the leaders, they are courageous, so they can do it. Because you need courage. Right. So I'm going to invite people to, you know, or ask you to invite people where they can connect with you. But like, what's one thing, if somebody came to you and said, give me one thing I could start doing today to really kind of unlock my leadership potential, what would that be? You know, the first thing. Everybody always wants the one tip, right? I know. So the one tip would be, okay, reflect and do the three-colon exercise in your life, personal, professional, whatever, both of them is even better.

18:18And do first colon, what do you want to keep? What is good in your life? What gives you energy? Second colon, what do you want to drop? What drain you? You don't want that anymore. And third column, so what do you want to add to your life today? And then begin your journey. What is the first step? And begin your journey to the process of maybe unlocking yourself. Love it. Well, I appreciate you taking a few moments to stop by the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. Is there anywhere you'd invite people to connect with you, learn about your work, and obviously pick up a copy of The Unlocked Leader? So I have a website.

18:58So it's my name, HortenseLegends.com. And also we can on LinkedIn, everywhere on LinkedIn, on social, Instagram. So I try to be active. And the book is, we'll have a link to your website in the show notes, but the book can be purchased pretty much anywhere people purchase books. So again, I appreciate you taking a moment, Hortense, and hopefully we'll run into you one of these days out there on the road.

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