Develop Unbreakable Self-Discipline

0:04This is the Ed Milet Show.

0:10Today's topic is going to be about self-discipline, which I think is at the top of the list of everything you have to have in life if you're going to achieve anything great. It's what allows you to do something that average, ordinary people can't do. You know, I look at when I evaluate people and talent in my businesses, when I hire people or any sports team that I've had. Yeah, it'd be great if someone's got an amazing ability or some, you know, crazy proclivity. But what I really look for when I'm evaluating talent and people I want on my team is their self-discipline levels, because I know those people are going to max out their own capacity.

0:41And if you remember this, extremity expands capacity. Please remember that statement, extremity expands capacity. So what that means is when you're self-disciplined and you can get yourself to do all the way to the extreme of what you're capable of on a regular basis, not only you do what you're capable of, but you actually stretch out and expand your capacity to grow and to do more so that over time, those levels of maxing out actually increase. That's why, for example, like on a bench press in the gym, when someone maxes out, one of the reasons we do that is because we've pushed to a new level, but that extremity expands your capacity to know bench press even more at a higher level.

1:21And the way we extend our capacity in life is to have the highest levels of self-discipline. And it's something all of us struggle with, including me. I love Netflix. I love Cheetos. I love sleep. I love laying around. The challenge with that is those aren't the things that produce bliss in our life, that give us memories, that give us joy, nor do they produce maximum results in our businesses, in our bodies, relationships, and even our emotions, as I've said. So let's take a look at how do we expand our capacity? How do we increase our self-discipline? For me, and what I would recommend for you, is that it starts out by taking an honest look and audit at the things that take away from our self-disciplines.

2:04What are the things that rob you, that steal you from your disciplines? So in my case, for example, I'll give you some things that rob me of my disciplines, that take my focus away, take my attention away, that make it more easy to do than the things I need to do. For me, some of it's television and in my own case it is that like I really do enjoy Netflix I'll get captivated when I wake up in the morning one of the things I used to do is I would do a little bit of a morning routine but then I'd find myself flipping sports center on a lot of the guys can probably relate to that or you flip on one of the morning tv shows all of a sudden I've lost 30 40 minutes into this abyss of things that really don't matter at that time it's funny my wife would say haven't you already watched these highlights last night you're watching the same exact highlights again the next morning.

2:52And I'm like, she's totally right. So for me, it's been sports. It's been Netflix. It's been watching sports on television. This robs me of my self-disciplines. Another thing for me is worry. Believe it or not, the emotion of worry or the emotion of fear steals my self-discipline because I'm captivated in a problem that really hasn't even existed yet, That probably won't exist, but I've given my attention and my energy off the task at hand. See, there's this fallacy. I've had people on my show that have taught this, that you can multitask. The truth is there's really no such thing as multitasking.

3:29Your brain can only hold one process and one thought at one time. And so this idea that you can do three things at once, like I'll have the TV on in the background, but I'm going to write an effective chapter of my book. That is not true. That TV on in the background steals some of your self-discipline from you. And for some of you, it might be that it's a worry addiction. It might be addiction to a relationship. But these are the things. You have to make a list of the things. For me, in a given day, what takes my self-discipline for me is worry, fear, and the process of watching screens, watching screens, scrolling through Instagram, scrolling through TikTok, watching YouTube, watching sports on television.

4:09So I've made lists of things that are my self-discipline stealers. And I haven't eliminated them, but I've reduced them and I schedule them in non-productive times. So it's not that I can't watch SportsCenter. It's not that I can't scroll TikTok or Instagram. I can do that. But I have to schedule it in times that don't take away from moving the needle. You've got to do moving the needle activities in your life. The most successful people do the highest impact things possible in any given moment or any given day. And the people that lose or that produce subpar results or average results, they still work very hard, but they don't do the needle moving things.

4:50So in my fitness, for example, one of the needle moving things is drinking water. That's a self-discipline that is required of me to stay in my peak physical state in every given day. I'm going to show you in a minute how I make sure I do that. and then I eliminate and I make a list of the things that take that away from me. One of the other things is I have to do breath work. I have to control my breathing. I love yoga now. I'm doing a lot of yoga. And what is it that eliminates that for me? One, it's getting up too late. Two, it's turning on that television and watching sports. So I've made lists of the things that rob me of my disciplines.

5:22The second thing in self-discipline is this. Show me your schedule. Show me your day timer and I will show you your life. If you show me your schedule today and what you do consistently in a given day, what you have scheduled, because what you schedule is a priority, okay? So if you show me your schedule, I will show you your life a year to three years from now based on today's schedule. So second thing in self-discipline is scheduling the things that matter, literally putting them in and having a time for them scheduled on a regular basis. This may seem trivial, but it's not because there are things.

5:56I need self-discipline for me. One of the areas is like my personal friendships and relationships, even with my own family. And so for me, if I'm not careful, I won't have the self-discipline to make sure those aren't just maintained, but that they're growing and evolving in a way that's beautiful that those people deserve in my life. And although this may sound orchestrated, I schedule those things that that schedule makes me look like I've got self-discipline. okay but truthfully it's just scheduled so i have things in my calendar that says text bella call max call mom i have scheduled these things in my calendar when i'm in my schedule i will do the things that are in there so a lot of times we just schedule our appointments don't we we just have appointments and that's all we have in a calendar at the end of the day i didn't make my contacts i didn't tell the people that i love that i love them i didn't do the amount of emails i'm supposed to do.

6:52I didn't take the time to write the chapter of my book. I didn't craft my social media captures. Things need to be scheduled. That's where self-discipline comes from. And then the third thing is I've built the habit of keeping the promises that I make to myself. The process of self-discipline is like a muscle that you can grow. And so I think the mistake many people make is they start with these huge things that they think require self-discipline. And unless they do these huge things, they lack it. Whereas I believe you start in the micro, you start small in life. And that's what builds the real discipline.

7:27So this may sound crazy, but I have eliminated and written down the things that take my self-discipline away. I have scheduled the things that make me look like I have self-discipline. And then third, I start with the small promises I can keep to myself. And that's to this day, 25 years later on this journey, 35 years later on this journey, I still schedule things. I still do little things that create momentum because momentum, as I've said before, is a magnifier. Momentum can make an average ordinary person like me produce superhuman results. So I create what might be considered artificial momentum every single day.

8:05So let me give you an example of that. I make my bed every single day. I've been doing that for many, many years. That seems insignificant, right? Because I could pay somebody to make my bed every single day. That's not why I do it. I do it because it starts my day with discipline and it's something that I can control and I can maintain. I have a routine that I do, whatever your routine might be. For me, it could be the cold plunge or my prayer time or my meditation time, my stretching, my scripture reading. I do these things early in my day. These are promises that I can make to myself that create this identity of a self-disciplined person when the truth is I am not one.

8:42I have not been one, but I have created an identity of a self-disciplined person. Let me give you another one. I lay my clothes out the night before for the following day. I do this whether I'm staying in a hotel room or whether I'm staying at my own house. I know that sounds insignificant. It is extremely significant because now I've done something that I told myself I was going to do, and it's done. And when I wake up in the morning, I'm in autopilot mode. So these small things, the second thing I do, excuse me, the third thing I do, I have a big gallon of water that I pour the night before.

9:16And when I get up, I drink half of that water. It doesn't matter if you drink 10 % of it, but it's something to start my day. Self-discipline, I've done it. When I point my mind as a weapon at the small things in my life, and I start stacking those up that I do over and over and over again, now the medium-sized tasks are disciplined and And the big ones are disciplined. And so I'm going to tell you that I don't think anyone has natural discipline. They build structures around them. They build systems around them. They schedule them. And they eliminate the things that take from it. And over time, they build this identity where they seem like they're incredibly disciplined people.

9:55Remember this for a second. Your brain is always trying to conserve energy. It's always trying to conserve energy. It's trying to build a habit. It is trying to do this so that it doesn't have to work to think. And so the more you do these little things, your brain wants to continue to do them. It's not just a muscle. It's how the brain functions. Because now that it's just stuff that you do every single day, it doesn't have to think about it anymore. And under pressure in life, we act reflexively. Under pressure, we act reflexively. So if your reflex is to have these habits that serve you, your life becomes very easy.

10:31It also frees your brain up to be much more creative and innovative and energized and aware than people who don't have discipline. See, the benefit of discipline and self-discipline is not just that you get these things done. It's that your brain's not having to work so darn hard. See, when you don't have self-discipline, when you don't have things you do early in your day, when you don't keep promises to yourself, when you don't schedule the things, right? When you don't do those things, when you don't eliminate the things that rob you of your self-discipline, not only are you not getting stuff done, you're more tired.

11:05You're more physically exhausted. Here's the fallacy. People think self-discipline, people that get up, that work out, that do their stuff, that make their calls, that have these relationships, that are sending out a bunch of emails, that are making a bunch of contacts, they're tired. That's not the case because after a while, this is automatic. Their brain's not having to think about it. It's just what they do. It's their routine. Your brain, on the other hand, if you're not disciplined, isn't nearly as organized. So it's having to work to think through, to get back up, to start over, to restart, to get going again.

11:35It's constantly having to work. And what you're doing is you're depleting yourself of the energies that could have gone towards creativity, focus, awareness, and intentional activities. Does that make sense? So actually, undisciplined people are more tired at the end of a day than disciplined people. That's what I found. They say, you're 52. You're working harder than you've ever worked in your dadgum life. Why? Because I have built all these structures around me and eliminated most of the things that take my focus and discipline away so that I am wired, man, with a ton of energy to create and innovate and think and be present in the moment because I have self-discipline.

12:13And self-discipline is a process, is a habit. It is not something someone's born with. And it's not very complicated. what has to happen is you got to do it for a while but now the idea of not working out in a given day makes me sick to my stomach i can't even imagine not working out but way back in the day i had to schedule it i had to eliminate the sports center i had to have the glass of water next to me i had to have my workout clothes laid out the night before i had to make my bed then i had to do my do you follow what i'm saying these things make the discipline part look much harder than it is it's actually autopilot for me now.

12:51I don't have to think about it. So there's all these benefits to having self-discipline. And I want to share with you like almost my manifesto for self-discipline. And it's quite old. So if you're watching this, you'll see this magazine. And if you're not, I'm going to give you a gift that you hear it on the audio anyway. But here we go. This is from Newsweek magazine a little while ago, June 18th, 2001. So at the time that we're recording this, And by the way, stay focused on growth day all the time. This is one of the best things you can do is be in an environment that's conducive to self-discipline, that fosters it.

13:27That's what we're doing here, right? This right here, what we're doing, this place you're doing this at creates self-discipline because the environment is constantly feeding you things that create the habits and rituals that make your life easier. But here we go. June 18th, 2001, Newsweek cover, Tiger Rules. I have carried this magazine, two of them, I have two copies of them, with me everywhere I have gone on business trips for 22 going on 23 years. I have read what I'm going to share with you thousands of times because it's about discipline, self-discipline, and the mindset that comes with being self-disciplined.

14:11Tiger rules. This was the prime of Tiger Woods' career. one of the most disciplined people of all time. Now, when I say discipline in his sports life, anybody who knows anything about sports, not the sports part of his life, in his prime, there was no more disciplined athlete in the history of sports. Would you agree with me on that? In his prime, in his sports life, there's never been an athlete more disciplined than Tiger Woods. And I wanted to be what he did in golf. I wanted to do in the business part of my life. And so there was this article and I've carried it now for almost 23 years. Okay, here's what it's called.

14:45The dominator, the dominator. And it's five rules for Tiger Woods, domination and self-discipline. Would you like to know what they are? Because this article, the dude who read this article 22, 23 years ago, didn't have the mindset of self-discipline. I had the desire for self-discipline. I had some of the habits, but I didn't want to just do well in business, do well in life. I wanted to dominate. How many of you would like to dominate? I mean, go from average, ordinary, not just to win in, but dominance. Dominate in your life. Whatever that area is. Dominate in the love parts of your life. Dominate in your emotions.

15:22Dominate in business. Dominate in the financial part of your life. Maybe dominate your former self, but be dominant in your life. At the end of this life, man, I was dominant, right? I wanted to do that. And I don't think that that's a male or female thing. I'm talking about being great, becoming a goat, doing something awesome. And here's what happens 22, 23 years later. Stay with me on this. It's so awesome. I'm totally, the guy that started 22, 23 years ago is totally unrecognizable to me, to the man that I am today. Would you like in 22 or 23 years, 25 years from now to look back and go, I don't even recognize that person.

16:03It's the same integrity. It's the same character. It's the same loving being. but I've become something so dominant. I've become almost like a machine. People look at me. You know, you heard audios I've done in the past where I say there's unaware people. That's one type of person. You don't want to be them. There's motivational people who can motivate you. They play on your motives. If you do this, you'll get a Lamborghini. If you do this, you'll get a house. If you do this, you'll get a relationship. They play on your motives, which is a very, it's a good thing. A lot of motivational speakers out there, motivational friends of yours.

16:34The third level is inspirational. Inspirational people take it to a different place. They can motivate you. They make you become aware, but they talk, they speak to your spirit. The root of inspirational is to be in spirit. These people are special. These people, you feel something when you're with them and you're around them, or you hear them communicate. And then even from there, there's another level. That fourth level is aspirational. Aspirational is not only did you motivate, you made me aware, You motivated me. I'm inspired, but I want to be more like you. I want to be more like you. To me, in the sports world, Tiger Woods was not only motivational, and he was incredibly motivational.

17:15He was inspiring. You would feel things when he would win, but he was aspirational. I'd like to be more like him in my business life. I'd like to be more like him. I want to be a dominator. So I aspired to be a dominator, and I know you do too. You want to know what the five rules are? I'm going to give them to you. These are the mindsets, not just the behaviors. These are the mindsets of a self-disciplined person. So here we go. Here's what he says. Here's the article, by the way. You believe I still carry this thing? Here we go. Number one, genius is 99 % perspiration. Perspiration. I had to hear that.

17:53I had to have someone give me permission to work really, really hard. Now, what they do in this article, by the way, is they interviewed other dominators. So they interviewed Martina Navratilova, the great tennis player. They interviewed Joe Montana, the incredible quarterback football player. They interviewed Wayne Gretzky, the greatest hockey player of all time, all talking about Tiger and their similar mindsets. So this isn't just Tigers. This is the dominator mindset. 99 % perspiration. It begins, all the dominators agree, with good old-fashioned hard work. There's no magic pill, no such thing as effortless grace.

18:25At this level, talent is a given. But Tiger works harder than anyone out there, and that's why he's kicking butt, says tennis great Martina Navratilova, winner of 167 women's titles, including a record nine Wimbledons. Every great shot you hit, you've already hit a bunch of times in practice. The vast majority of athletes have a much lower tolerance for preparation. It's not the pain. It's simpler than that. Listen to this. It's not the pain. It's simpler than that. practice can be boring says joe montana who led the san francisco 49ers to four super bowl wins in the 80s a lot of guys say yeah i watched two hours of game film last night and that's enough but they're not really studying what's going on they may as well have been watching television tiger's habit of pounding golf ball after golf ball long into the twilight often during tournament play has already become part of his legend this is 23 years ago during his so-called slump earlier this year, Woods claimed to be working on something special for his new swing in the Masters.

19:25People rolled their eyes until he won the Masters. Montana, like Woods, understands that such preparation pays off biggest and critical situations, moments when a bout of nerves could disrupt even the most basic play. Dominators can be wondrously created when they have to be, but they're also geniuses of simplicity. In his famous fourth quarter drive to beat the Super Bowl champion Bengals, Montana threw nothing but short passes. No big strike, no fireworks, and no mistakes. No matter who you are, no matter how good an athlete you are, we're creatures of habit, says Wayne Gretzky, hockey's leading scorer and four-time Stanley Cup winner.

20:04The better your habits are, the better you'll be in pressure situations. I think I said that. I think I said that about 10 minutes ago when I said under pressure, you react reflexively. And so although these great people that you see have these unbelievable geniuses in creativity, what they really are are greatest at the fundamentals. And they grind and they hit more golf balls than everybody else. They throw more passes. They watch more game film. They make more contacts in business. They talk to more people. They see more people. And that number one rule gave me the permission and the habit of I've got to become self-disciplined if I'm going to be a dominator.

20:38And these are habits and rituals and routines. Everybody on the PGA tour could hit golf balls. There's nothing special about that. It's who hit the most with the most intention, with the most focus. Tiger Woods did. And that's why Tiger Woods became Tiger Woods and everybody else became everybody else. So if you want to become aspirational level four, these self-discipline mindsets and thoughts, in addition to the structural things I said earlier, are the keys. How good is this? By the way, thousands of times I've read Tiger's rules on domination. Number two, let the other guy get nervous. Gretzky and Woods have one more critical thing in common, an almost creepy ability to keep their cool.

21:20Believe it or not, the bigger the game, the calmer I got, said Gretzky. The dominators let the other guys flinch, the other guys get nervous, and that becomes a weapon on their behalf. I was comfortable because other people were nervous, says Yankee great Reggie Jackson, Mr. October, a title he earned with a startling spring of playoff runs, including the 1977 World series in which he homered a record five times. Sooner or later, you're going to rush and you're going to make a mistake, and I'm not going to do that. That helps explain why Woods, playing in a gentlemanly sport where the rivals directly can't affect each other's play, has nonetheless become known for rattling his opponents.

21:58Being paired with Woods is akin to when the disciples tried to save their boat during a storm, only to be distracted by the sight of Jesus walking on water. You're not only aware of his superior skills, you're also dealing with a whole new set of variables, such as bigger galleries, oohs and aahs, et cetera, et cetera. So listen, guys, what about you, your peers in your industry? Anybody getting nervous? Anybody worrying about you? Anybody up staying late at night thinking how they're going to compete against you? Do you get people under pressure to crack and flinch? Or are they not concerned about you at all?

22:31See, in business, not only did I want to have the hardest work ethic, but I wanted people to think, man, I got to be in my egg game to beat this dude. I wanted the people around me that were on my team to want to rise up to the standard that I was setting at any given time. I want everybody else to get nervous and flinch and under pressure, I was cool and calm. You remember this, self-discipline, one of the things that comes with it is in a sense of emotional control. You don't get too high and you don't get too low. See, self-disciplined people maintain emotional control. That's what they're saying in number or two here.

23:03And I've learned that skill. I used to get very up and very down. Well, listen, when you're very up, your disciplines crack, right? And when you're very down, it's very difficult to be disciplined. But when you can stay somewhere in the middle, up and down, maybe 20, 25%, it allows you to stay self-disciplined in those moments. Number three, don't just dominate, intimidate. Yeah. Tiger's repeatedly said that intimidation isn't part of his game, but that's once he's on the course he's thinking about nothing but his own shot making sure once he's on the course but what about when he's getting dressed in the morning i love this by the way it's no coincidence that tiger and off tiger often pulls out a blood red sweater on his sunday charges just as it wasn't by coincidence that dale earnhardt preferred dark sunglasses and drove a black and white stock car that looked like a 200 mile an hour pirate ship reggie jackson during the 77 world series was the last yankee every day to take batting practice just before the Dodgers took the field.

24:00He claims he didn't care if they noticed, but you could tell he was watching. Before one game, Reggie crushed about 45 out of 60 balls over the fence. That night, he walked on four pitches in at first at bat and then hit three home runs. Bob Gibson, the ferocious pitcher from the St. Louis Cardinals, took intimidation a step further. He wouldn't even talk to guys on the other team, especially if they were hitters, says Gibson, who had a baffling 1.12 ERA. So here's what I'm saying here. This is what this means. You have to have the mindset that you are not going to think like everybody else, that you're going to think differently.

24:36And I'm letting you weigh on the inside here of self-discipline. This is deep, deep, deep, deep into it. But if you keep thinking like everybody else thinks, right, you're not going to be great. And I know this stuff isn't always pretty to hear, but I'm going to tell you right now, this is what winning is. These are the little subtle thoughts that when you're, hey, good to see you, good to see you, but in your mind, you're like, they ain't getting to me. They don't have to play it at this level. They don't know this game. These are all the things you start doing all this stuff. Plus what I said in the very beginning, eliminating the distractions, scheduling the right things.