How to Become a Super Communicator And Change Your Life

25:56They'll be good too. But if they could have seen me on the front end, it would have helped them because that's where they are. When you talked about the dimensions of stories, when we tell stories about different times in our life, it does help people see us in another dimension that is very helpful for the learning and the growth. But I don't like the separation that success brings. I abhor it. I wish there was a way to close that gap because you don't help people when you're separated from people. You only help people when you're beside them and you walk with them and they can connect with you, if that makes sense.

26:35Yeah, you said something to me once. I'll mess the quote up, but I actually quote you when I speak. Because I also believe self-deprecation, making fun of yourself is a great way to connect with people if it's true and sincere when you speak. And I messed the quote up all the time, but I actually quote you in the current version of what I'm talking about. I quote something you said to me. I quote it incorrectly, but it goes along these lines that you said to me, Ed, something like, if you really want to impress people, show them how perfect you are. But if you want to connect with people, reveal to them your imperfections.

27:07Totally. It's the impress impact. If you want to impress people, talk about your success. If you want to impact them, talk about your failures. The reason I think that's important is because I think a lot of people think they have to have all these impressive things they've achieved in their life prior to making an impact on people. Now, I do believe you should have some type of a track record and have done something when you're speaking about it. But I don't believe you have to be this tremendous success in order to make an impact. In fact, I think sometimes that your proximity to the audience in terms of how far you are from them and your success, some of that proximity is actually a really good thing.

27:44and that that success does separate you if you're not careful from the audience. One of the things that you do when you speak, this is subtle, and it's maybe too subtle to share on the podcast, but I watch it in you, and it's something that I think is probably one of the only other two laws we'll cover because I want them to get the book. But you use, better than anyone ever, silence when you speak. Yeah. You use it. And my stand-up comedian friends always tell me when I speak, Ed, the funny is after the joke's told, it's in the silence. And when I speak, the biggest change in my speaking over the years is my comfort level with silence when I talk.

28:24That an amateur speaker or a newer speaker doesn't like silence. They talk too fast and they talk too much, in my opinion. You are the all-time best at the pause and the moment in between the words so that it makes an impact. I make mistakes sometimes, even still to this day, John, where I've made an impact and I go right into the next thing and I don't let that impact sit with the audience long enough. So please talk about that. Yeah, I love to. I call it in the book, the power of the pause. And I'm very intentional. Let me just say, first of all, in my coaching with people, I find that the hardest thing to coach people in speaking is the pause.

29:06And for a long time, I kept asking myself, Ed, why is it that when I share with them that they need to pause more, that they don't do it? And I finally came up with the answer. In fact, when I was writing the book, it finally hit me. The reason that we're uncomfortable when we speak with pausing is the moment I stop, I give up control to the audience. Very good. And we subconsciously don't want to give up control. We want to control. We know where we want to go with the speech, and here's where we are. And so we keep talking, talking, talking, talking. I got control. I got control. When I stop all of a sudden, I allow the audience to think.

29:45And just like your comedian friends, they're exactly right. That pause is where what they said that was really funny. I'll tell you what the pause does. The pause underlines your words. So when I say something like people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. If I pause, wow, the people are on that thought. They're underlining that thought mentally. If I don't pause, I immediately move them on. And what I do is most speakers, they play catch up the whole time. Most speakers get in front of their audience, and they speak without pausing, without giving that time for people.

30:28And so what happens is the people are trying to catch up with them the whole time. And they're never with them because they're behind them. And if somebody's behind me, whatever I'm saying doesn't have its full effect. So that pause is so huge because it gives the audience a chance. What basically I'm saying is you can catch up with me. I'm going to let you catch up. And then when I pause and I turn around and I walk back to my bar stool and sit down and then look at them, it's entirely different. Man. Remember in school, if the kids were rowdy, what would the school teacher do sometimes? They would just stop talking.

31:16and finally even the kid that talked the most, all of a sudden everybody's very conscious, nobody's talking, and the teacher got control of the room by not saying anything until everybody got up to speed with her, if that makes sense. And the pause is so powerful for transition. It's a powerful pivoting tool. And I'll tell you what else it does. It allows people to feel emotionally. If we speak fast all the time, they can't feel emotionally the words. And if they can't feel emotionally the words, the words don't have the same impact on them. I'm receiving them mentally. But when I pause, they can digest those words.

32:03Jeez, wow. And they can put them on the inside. And now all of a sudden, I'm emotionally connected with you, Ed, because you just gave me a chance not only to hear what you said, you gave me a chance to go down inside of me and feel what you said, which is just absolutely huge. And one more thing. I mean, the pause is just powerful. And I think this is a big mess. I think that when you pause, you give people a chance to hear the whisper. and you know I'm a person of faith. I'm not trying to throw that on anyone else, but when you say things that are substantial and things that have meat to them and have application to them, if you pause sometimes, what you said, God, the Spirit, whatever, whispers to your heart.

32:58In fact, I ask myself when I hear a speaker, did I hear the whisper anytime during the speech? And I can only hear the whisper if the speaker lets me have a little time. I don't know a couple seconds just to settle in and hear. And, you know, Henry now and said, And silence is an act of war against the competing voices within us. And I just think I love that statement. Henry Nowlin was a great thinker. He was a great man. But I love it. And I think it's my responsibility. I want them to hear my voice, but there's a higher voice. That's a master class right there. If I pause, Ed, I give them a shot of hearing the higher voice.

33:50And let me tell you this. My voice, they'll forget. The higher voice, they will not forget. All time right there. All time right there. That's an all-timer. You guys, as someone who does a lot of this, I can tell you right now, that is profound wisdom right there. and something that you feel it. When that higher voice is whispering to you, you feel it. You don't hear it. You feel it. And that's when a speaker has done an unbelievable job as they get out of the way and let that higher voice make the impact on you. And that's what you did at L2L when you were with us. That's exactly what you did.

34:29I promise you, you've learned the pause. You've learned it. Hey, I learned it. I learned it from a beautiful African-American preacher in South Los Angeles in the Watts area. And I would go up and speak for him. We were friends. E.V. Hill was his name. E.V. Hill, he's passed away. And I watched him. And when he got to something that was really important, what he did is the pause also creates great anticipation. And he would get us right to where we were ready to hear this unfolding, unbelievable thought. I'll never forget. take a handkerchief, kind of wipe his face, walk around to the other side of the pulpit, lean in, and then deliver it.

35:23And I would watch him, and I'd say, oh, I want to be just like that. I just want to be just like that. And I never got that good, but I've tried. It's not that true. I want to say this. I swear to you, I don't want this just to be a love affair with you on the show. But I want everyone to understand this. I learned that from you. And I'm not saying that because he's here. I looked at my speaking. I thought, what is this thing he does? Because John, when he was a little younger, would still stand still most of his speech. Didn't move around a lot. He wasn't a big pacer. He did some. But now when John speaks, he's even better.

36:03And oftentimes he's seated most of the time. and I'm like how does he do this and it's these unbelievable pauses before a profound statement and after and he is the best at this and the reason he's the best at it is because of his faith background and it is that is that he does understand that there's a higher voice and so I got that from you and it's something by the way forget stage speaking everybody I do that with my children now when I make a point. Of course. I do it with my wife. I want to say something and just let it sit there and feel it and not move on to the next thing. It's where I learned it.

36:47It's remarkable. A couple more things because I want to make sure everybody gets the book. So 16lawsofcommunication.com by the single greatest author on, I say thought leader, leadership expert, communication expert, I think life expert. When you get to 76 and you've traveled around the world and impacted millions of people, you become somebody who knows a lot about life. So, hey, guys, as you know, I've partnered up with my good friend Brennan Brouchard, who's created the greatest personal development system that has ever been designed called Growth Day. There's everything from journaling to accountability programs, live messages every Monday from myself and other influencers.

37:24There's an opportunity for you to get courses that would cost thousands of dollars completely for free. It's incredible. Go to growthday.com forward slash ed and check it out. I think that first, the beginning place is, I think most people don't see themselves as a leader. Just that in and of itself, I think most people don't see themselves that way, that it's some mystical role in life. What would you say to somebody who says, I just don't know that I am a leader or could be a leader? Well, everybody's a leader because leadership is influence. That's what it is. And that has been, that definition of leadership has served me so well for so many years.

38:02It's, in fact, in my book, The Twain One, Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, there's the law that, you know, leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. So when somebody says they're not a leader, I say, well, let me ask you a question, do you influence anybody? Sure. Sure. And almost always, almost. I've had a couple maybe, I'm not sure, but almost always. I'll say, well, yeah, I mean, you have children. Okay. Okay. You got your family. You know, so yes. Now it may be a little influence. It may be eight, 10 people. It may not be, but I look at them and say, okay, if you influence eight or 10 people, you are a leader.

38:31See, what people think is they've got to have some kind of a title or position to be a leader. And so they say, well, I, you know, I don't have a leadership position, so I'm not a leader. Well, you and I both know the position doesn't make you a leader anyway. It gives you a chance to practice leadership, it doesn't make you a leader. So what I tell people is this, leadership is influence. So how do I increase my influence? Because that's because if I if I influence 10 and next month I influence 20, wow I've doubled my leadership influence. So how do I do that? And it's a very simple answer, to increase your influence you have to intentionally add value to people.

39:09This is where it all begins. So, Ed, let's say that I want to have increased influence with you. Well, my first question isn't, boy, I hope that Ed will follow me. The first question is, is how can I serve you? What can I do to add value to you? So I'm going to ask you, you know, how can I serve you? What can I do to help you? In fact, what's interesting, before we had this interview, I mean, it was cracking me up. We were kind of trying to out-serve each other. Well, what can I do for you? And it was a beautiful thing because all we were really doing and I'm trying to help you. Correct. And here's what I know.

39:40If I sincerely add value to you, my influence will increase with you. That's a fact. So we don't need to make leadership complicated. Just go out and intentionally add value to people, and your influence pool begins to expand. It's so good. And after a while, I'm becoming quite a leader. So leadership is entitled, position. It's all about adding value and serving and making a difference in other people's lives. In order to do that, a lot of people are going to build an organization, build a team, they'll be in some sort of an environment like that. Nobody wins alone, it seems like in life. That's a fact.

40:18I was listening to this story you were telling, and I'd like you to share it about, you know, there's the analogy of getting people in the right seats on the bus, but you have this wonderful story about when you played basketball. Yeah. About at the end of practice, your coach would do something very... A scrimmage. This is absolutely illustrates this point so beautiful. You don't mind saying that. No, it's a beautiful point. He would have the first team, the better players, five players, play the second team. And the only thing that he would do is he would put we who were on the first team out of position.

40:48And he always stuck me. I was a number two guard. But he always stuck me under the basket guarding a guy named Doug Roth that was 6 '8". Okay. And, you know, and he'd put maybe our center out there with the point guard. Well, he's put us out of position and they sit out, stay in your position and play, play to 20. Well, what would happen is the first team would always lose. And he'd sit us back down and say, now, did you lose because of talent? No. Did you lose? No, no. You lost for one reason. You were out of position. And remember this, whenever you're out of position, you're going to lose. Well, what they did is, I mean, I'm guarding a six foot eight guy.

41:25They just throw a high pass to him. He's just dropping that belt over me the whole time. And so it was a great teaching for me that no matter how gifted you are, no matter how committed you are, if you're out of position, you're not going to be successful. That's why everybody needs to find their sweet spot. What do I really do well? And on that, there's a point that I really want to make, and that is I tell people if you want to be highly successful, you've got to get into what I call the top 5%. So you've got 100 people. You've got 100 people here in whatever chosen profession you've got. You've got to be in the top five.

42:02You've got to get there. And you can only get to the top five if you're in your sweet spot. You can't get to the top five working on weaknesses. You can't get to the top five if I'm not in the area of my giftedness. So you've got to find out what you're good at because that'll give you, then if you're committed and if you've got a good strategy and all this other, you've got a good team around you, then that will allow you to get in that top five. And once you're in that top 5%, you're in good shape. You're going to do very well. And I tell them, it doesn't matter what your profession is, you've got to get in the top 5%, and you can only get in the top 5 % if you're in your position, if you're in your sweet spot, if you're in your gift position.

42:37Is there any technique, strategy, thought you have in order to identify what those sweet spots are for you? Oh yeah, I'll trial and error. I mean, you know, when I started, okay, let's go to my, I started off as a pastor. And so I had a counseling degree. So now I'm counseling people. Well, it takes me about six months to realize I'm not any good at that.

42:59I'm not. It's not my gift. I mean, they're coming in and I'm listening to them. And then I say, well, okay, it's obvious here's your issue. Here's three things. I write on a piece of paper and hand it to them and say, now, go be healed. Do you know what I mean? Go be healed. And the next month they come back in and I say, now, okay, what are we in here for? Well, I've got this problem. What's the problem I heard last month? You know what I'm saying? Well, did you do the three things? No, I didn't do the three things. Well, it wore me out. I wore them out. I wasn't any good. But that's what I was trained in.

43:28But it wasn't giving me the results. And one day, I mean, it took me, really, it really took me three years. One day I realized that when you counsel people, you work on their weaknesses. And when you equip people, you work on their strengths. Oh, good. And the moment I went from working on weaknesses to working on strengths, I became, I was a rock star with strengths. Because you show me your strength and I'm going to give you a game plan and let's get going. Because I'm a natural equipper, not a natural counselor. Nothing wrong with counseling, it's just not my gift. You with me? And what did they teach me in college?

44:02They taught me how to administrate. So I'm in my, you know, I've got my little country church. I'm doing administration. Well, there's no return there. I mean, my gosh. And one day I'm waking up and I'm saying, wait a minute, this isn't working. I got to go get me some volunteers to do this administration so I can get back. And so it's trial and error. And sometimes I think we go to people like, I mean, Ed, if I'm trying to find out my strengths and you and I know each other really well, I may come to you and say, okay, talk to me. You know, what do I do well? Yes. You know, sometimes we don't understand our own strengths.

44:29And it takes somebody that really is a good friend that knows us well that can say, well, I think you're really good in this area. But you've got to find them. Yes. And the good news is everybody has gifts. That's right. Everybody. So there's not such thing as a person, well, you know, I just have no gifts and so I'm left out. Everybody has them. You just got to go find them. But once you find them, that's where, and by the way, that's where you put all of your time in personal growth and development. Because the goal isn't just to learn a lot of things. I know a whole bunch of people, they're very knowledgeable, but they're not very successful.

45:01That's right. So what you got to do is you got to say, I'm going to stay in the area of my strengths. Yes. And so at 27 when I decided I was going to speak and maybe write some books, I asked myself a very simple question. What are the areas that people need to excel in to be successful? And I came up with four areas. Relationships. I mean, if you can't get along with people, hello. Equipping. If you can't develop a team, you may have personal success, but you're not going to compound success because you don't have people helping you. attitude of overcoming adversity and difficulty, the getting back up, not quitting, that whole process, and leadership, the ability to influence people.

45:45And at 27, I said, those are the four things I will spend my life. And if you'll look at my books, almost all of them are in relationships, equipping, attitude, leadership. It's true. And I found what I call, I found the sweet spot for people to success. Man. And so I wrote all my books in those areas. I've read, I'm going to tell you something I've read of the majority of your books and there was a window of time where I read every single one as they were coming out and now I'm back in that cycle again with you and for me the last couple minutes were really valuable because I've I'm always I'm obviously acknowledged like you are as a good leader and sure and but in my own mind I've wondered whether I am sometimes because I'm not a great counselor either and I mean that like when people are looking for counsel for me and but what I am I do feel like I'm really good at identifying giftedness in people I see giftedness I think I'm good at equipping people and so leaders come in different shapes sizes and forms that was just really a good validation just for me and I think it would be for certain people listening to this because I think also sometimes people that are really good at executing themselves potentially maybe struggle with counseling people on new things but they're great at equipment they could be great at equipping oh absolutely absolutely and what I found is successful people are really good at finding their gifts, getting in their gift zone, and then just really staying there and becoming successful.

47:07I think they're happier too. Oh yes, but successful leaders, there's the difference. Successful leaders are had the ability of what you just described, of finding the strength sweet spot for other people and getting them in that sweet spot. And that's where the return is. I spent my life, after I discovered what my strengths were, now I'm just helping other people find their strengths because there's nothing more empowering to a person and to find out that they are good at something and then being equipped and taught how to how to do it well. That's what it's honestly what you just described is what I enjoy doing most of my life.

47:38That's why you're a leader. Well I hope I worked on it. Thank you. I'd like I just want you know something like the whole interview everything we're doing today that was valuable for me because I've struggled even myself like why am I this an element of my ability with people that's just limited I'm not great at counseling people but I am good at equipping them so it's just a distinction that I really appreciate. One of the things about teams and then I I don't want to talk about the new book. But one thing I want to talk about on building teams and having teams is, I have probably talked about the law of the catalyst in my life in business that you've talked about in various different books.

48:12Both identifying them in organizations so that they can grow and also wanting to be identified as one, as someone coming through an organization. Could you just talk about, most people listening to this are familiar with your work, but obviously there are people that aren't as well. So what's the what is that law of the what is a catalyst in an organization? Why is it important? Why do you want to be one well, and that's out of my book the 17 laws of teamwork and Basically the that chapter is about the fact that good leaders have the ability to make things happen And so when people look at me and they say okay, John, I'm looking for maybe a potential leader What's the first thing I look for the first thing I say for them look for is look for somebody that makes things happen Yes, because you know But there's a whole bunch of people that are wondering what happened.

48:54Do you know what I'm saying? And they're not the one you want to recruit. So I say, go find, go find. Because here's what I discovered. If you can make things happen for yourself, you now have the credibility to make things happen for other people. If I'm not successful, there is no appeal for you to follow me. I tell people all the time, success is the credibility of a leader to lead. Because you think about it. No one ever got, you know, nobody ever said, oh my gosh, you know, okay, I got it. I'm financially in deep weeds. Oh my gosh, I'm going to, I think I'm going to call my buddy Joe. He's been bankrupt three times.

49:31You know, hey, hey, Joe, help me. No, no, you don't follow Joe. Joe's been bankrupt three times. You got to go find somebody that's successful with money. So true. So true. Oh my gosh, I'm going to call Jack. He's been divorced four times. You know, Jack, help me with my marriage. You see people when they need help The first thing they think about is who is better than me that I can follow And so the credibility of a leader as far as to lead is that they're successful I mean if I'm successful I say hey, I'd want to join my team Well, of course I mean if LeBron James was in the room right now LeBron says we're gonna play a little basketball And LeBron says, you know, I'll pick and then John will pick well when LeBron's there You're you've got your hand up saying LeBron pick me because you're gonna win if you get LeBron And every time I'm getting right pick you're diving behind the chair.

50:17You don't want to be on my team You're gonna lose on my team. So what I tell people all the time is that the first thing you've got to do is you got to be You got to get good yourself if you're it Why would I ever think that I should lead somebody if I'm not any good at it? Okay, but once I'm good and I found my success Now I began to say okay, how do I compound this? Well, I compound this by looking at Ed and saying okay, Ed Let me help you find your sweet spot and let's get you on this same road because now all of a sudden this is how I This is how I really build a team and so the law of the catalyst is all about Making things happen and and that's what I look for I mean Jack Welch his phrase was that you know who's going to get out of the pile Yeah, you know he'd say in was a general electric.

51:05You know there's a big pile of people in this company Well, who's going to get out of the pile? Well, well somebody's going to climb out Mark Cole is the CEO of six companies and Mark Cole is the CEO of them. And the reason that he is is because he got out of the pile. He got out of the pile. He started in the stock room. Did he really? Mark did? Yeah, absolutely. And I just took him out last week.

51:32Mark's here, by the way. He's cracking up over this. Mark's here with us. But he got out of the pile. In other words, everywhere he was, he succeeded. Yes. And everywhere he went, he won. Yes. And after a while, you just sit there and say, okay, okay, I think I'll let him run this thing because he knows how to do it. And so for all of us, I say before you go lead somebody else, just kind of get good yourself. So right. You're a mutual hero of mine, friend of yours that we were talking about off camera, Art Williams. Oh, my. How important is leadership, right? And Art would used to say and still probably does say, you want to show me any church, Boy Scout troop, football team, company?

52:09I'm gonna show you something being run by a leader. And in every great company, the leaders are great at identifying catalysts. I mean, when you find them, pay them well, keep them because they're priceless when you have them. Somebody, I'm sure Mark's over there nodding his head that you should pay him even better. So, but I wanted to say something to you about your books that I think are just, they're so, everybody, they're such great reads. They're easy to read, they're memorable. He makes points and then backs them up with incredible stories and anecdotes and quotes. And so it's the other thing about your books.

52:41They're incredibly, I would say, the information is profound, unique, and deep, yet very easy. You equip people so well with the way you write it that it's transferable. That's right. The information is so transferable. You do that better than anybody, of anybody's work that I read. I enjoy reading every single book. The problem with your books oftentimes is when you highlight them, you would almost be better off in John's books, highlighting the parts that you don't want to go back and remember. Because he's literally just covered in highlighter when you highlight his books. I'm serious. Thank you, buddy It's an absolute fact as I always get tired of highlighting It's like every single part of every single page it would seem to be so I'm a communicator So let's start here, you know an educator takes something simple and makes it complicated Hmm, I mean think of all you know, I don't think of all my college also I mean in an educational world if you're not confused.

53:28They're not happy. So I mean they they're pair Hey, their sentences are a paragraph long I mean by the time I get down the paragraph I forgot what the first part of the sentence I got to go back and read the Fair instead of short sentences, you know, I'm dealing with the paragraph so so but a communicator is exactly opposite They take something complicated and make it simple And so here's when I write a book or when I speak doesn't matter my my first objective is to keep it so simple That when I say it it immediately resonates with people in fact anytime you have to explain what you said you didn't say it right the first time.

54:05So my joke is I put the cookies on the lower shelf so everybody can have some. And so simple as far as understanding but deep because there's a difference. But deep when it comes to profound results that it will make in your life. It's an absolute fact. So I mean one of the principles I teach is very simple. I just hold my arm up in the ear and I say everything worthwhile is uphill. Everything. There's nothing in your life worthwhile that's not uphill. It's all uphill. Well, everybody gets it. I mean, it's all uphill. You know, and here's the problem. We get uphill hopes, but we have downhill habits.

54:46Okay, we're in trouble. You know, got a downhill habit, you're not going uphill. Got to change that habit. So everything that I teach, I teach with a real passion to keep it simple, but keep it very practical, and make sure that the principle is life-changing. If you can do those three things, then you really got it going. And when I wrote the book, Leader Shifts, I've been sitting on that book probably for a good 12 years. In fact, a lady on our team named Erin, who does a lot of content for me. She shared with me, she said, John, you really need to get that book out. And I kind of put it on the shelf and really wasn't too excited about getting out because I thought, I don't know, this may be a little too simple.

55:32But when I started writing, I thought this is going to be life changing. And now that I'm looking at the book coming out, I'm so excited because here's what happens. We start leading in a way that gives us some success. And immediately we get into this pattern. And what we don't understand is that leadership, if leadership is about anything, it's about adjusting and being flexible. And if you want to be a manager, then nail it, get it straight, do it the same way every time. That's management. But when it comes to leadership, in fact, if you go back into the 1980s, there were no leadership books in bookstores.

56:12They were all management books because you were trying to manage your company, your business. And then things began to change so fast people were saying this management stuff doesn't work because this baby isn't staying the same I I turned around and it moved on me and so I've got to get in front of it And so leadership is all about being in front Well, if you're in front one of the first things, you know is if you're in front, you don't know everything Yes, so so the issue is not knowing everything the issue is when you know something adjusting as quickly as you possibly can because Because if we don't adjust quickly, we miss it.

56:49Yes. Because it's a timing thing. Especially today. Oh, well, I was getting ready to speak for a company recently, and their theme was fast forward. And we were doing a pre-call, and they asked me, they said, what's fast forward mean to you? I said, well, fast means faster. As you look in the future, if anybody thinks that the future is going to be a little bit slower, I love these people who say, well, I'm just, honest to God, I'm just waiting for things to slow down. You know what? I would suggest dying. That's probably about the only way it's going to slow down for you. So fast is faster. But let me tell you something.

57:21Forward is shorter. When I started off as a leader, we had 10-year long-range plans. And five-year was a mid-range. A short-range plan when I started off, now I'm talking about the dark ages now, was a two-year plan. Well, a two-year plan now, that's a ridiculous long-range. I mean, That kind of makes you suck air. You say, I think that's a little bit long. So what I know is fast is faster and forward is shorter. So let me tell you something. The only people that are going to win are people that can make leader shifts. And adjust quickly. And so I wrote the book. I talk about 11 leader shifts that I've made in my lifetime.

58:02And people ask me all the time. They say, John, how have you stayed? I'm 71. How have you stayed on top of your game? And I say, it's very simple. it's not the same game. Gosh. Okay, baseball is called baseball. But it's not the same game. So true. I mean, you don't go to the baseball game the second day and say, oh my gosh, now wait a minute. That leadoff hitter got a single yesterday. Oh, he struck out. Oh my Lord. See, it maybe had the same title. Yeah. But it isn't the same game. Yes. And you don't lead today's game on yesterday's results. No kidding. Babe Ruth said one day, he said, yesterday's home run won't win today's game.

58:38That's right. And I'll tell you what, yesterday's thinking won't win today's game either. So I talked about leader shifts that you need to make in your life to keep you on the edge and to keep you adjustable and flexible so that you can really lead your people well. Because here's what I know. Here's what I know. People don't like change. You're right. So when the leader is resistant to change, he's going to get into this leadership gravity pool. or she is that's going to go down every time. Because I can tell you, you're not going to have the people behind you saying, come on, let's make some more changes.

59:15Let's make some more adjustments. No, no. Remember, they're wanting to hold on to what they have. And your job as a leader is to say, there's something better. If you'll just let this go, there's something better for you here tomorrow. And that's what the good leaders do. So I get asked all the time, how did I get so much attention on social media, in my businesses, email list, et cetera? I can tell you straight up, it's been constant contact. If you don't know who Constant Contact is, you need to know about these guys. Constant Contact's award-winning marketing platform has helped millions of small businesses, mine being one of them, stand out, stay on top of mine, and see big results fast.

59:51They've got an easy way to promote your business with powerful tools like email, SMS marketing, social media posting, and they even do events management, what they've done for me in the past as well. You're going to reach new audiences. You're going to grow your customer list big time and communicate more effectively to sell more, raise more, and grow fast on social media. So get going and start growing your business today with a free trial at ConstantContact.com. Just go to ConstantContact.com right now. Constant Contact, helping the small stand tall. ConstantContact.com. Eight streams of influence.

1:00:25I knew we would do this again. I knew it. Well, it's magic. It's your fault, Ed. Hey, I've had to help interviewers finish their program. Okay? Yeah, I know. And I'm with you. I just sit there and I say, jump in and the flow. Edge flow will take you wherever you want to go. And you do it so well. But leadership, everything rises and falls on leadership. So in every community, in every country, there are eight streams of influence. This is just well documented and we've got it down. government business education media arts family uh religion and and and uh health okay now these are the eight streams of influence we only go into the country when we get permission from the top of those people and here's what's key so the president says we want you to come in we say well to the president will you and your cabinet go through transformation tables you know when the Supreme Court justice, I said, now, will you and your Supreme, will you, will you start a transformation table?

1:01:29And we go right to the top. And, and, and if they won't, we vet countries and we don't go because, because they won't. Here's what we found. I have, I have seven companies, but one of my companies is, is a, is a leadership training company. And, and, and what, here's what we discovered. This is huge. The major difference between success and failure in a company, when we're doing leadership training with them there there's one indicator and we can tell it on day one whether they're going to make it or not there's one indicator of whether it's going to be successful or not and here it is when the leaders buy into the program and they go to the program themselves it's going to be successful interesting if they have the program pay all the money and resources and send their people, it's not going to go.

1:02:17People do what people see. And so the buy-in is the fact that in those eight streams at the very top, they say yes. And they get involved. Now, what does influence do? Influence just filters down to the whole country and to the whole culture. Very good. And so what, so what, no matter what stream your listeners are with me on right today, no matter what stream they're in, this really works. And I'm going to give you one example. I can give you a hundred, but I'm going to give you one. In Guatemala, we've been doing transformation tables, teaching values to the second largest bank in the country.

1:02:55It has 10 ,000 employees. Okay. So it's a big bank. So the CEO, after they've done this for two years, the CEO asked me to come down and he said, I have 2000 of our clients that I'm bringing together. And I want you to talk to them about change your world and transformation tables and values, because he said, it's so changed our company. I want, I want to help our clients. And so I said, I would. So he introduces me 2000 clients out there. And here's what he says. For two years, we've been doing transformation tables in our business. Three positive outcomes. Number one, our bottom line, the profit better than it's ever been by four.

1:03:36In fact, he said it increased 36 % last year. Now, why did the bottom line do so well? We teach values, hard work, industry, honesty, integrity, teamwork. His employees are learning all these values, and all of a sudden, they start to live them and embrace them. Now, bottom line profit, number one. Number two, he said, we now have a leadership culture in our company. He said, we didn't have a leadership culture here. There you go. He said, and where did they get their leaders? In the tables. because Ed, if you're not at a table, one week you'll facilitate that table and you'll take whatever value that comes up.

1:04:14Next week, the person beside you facilitates it. And we pass the leadership baton around. And how do you develop leaders? By practicing leaders. How do you know you have leaders? By watching them practice. Very good. And he said, all of a sudden leaders are popping up. He said, we have more leaders now than we have positions for them. Now that's a pleasant thing to have. Number three. and this is what it really got me so good he said the families of our employees have beautifully changed what are they doing they're taking those values they've learned at work and by the way every week 45 minutes they the banks all shut down we do the tables on on bank time hey they go home to their families say here's what we're discussing this week it bleeds right into the families and all of a sudden the family gets better So good.

1:04:59That's why I love what this work. this is okay i wrote a book but i i'm wanting to create a movement yeah and that's what i'm passionate about it's it's and movements don't start with a mass they start with them few you know mass movements never start with a mask when gandhi left prison and started going to the by the time he got to the sea he had a million but he only had six with him in the beginning so let's let's hey he just had one transformation table in the beginning and by the time he got there he had a million and and we think we have the possibility through this book to start a positive movement of values, learning, living, and embracing.

1:05:36And that's going to be fun. And the way that you do it, John, is worth seeing. I think watching what John's doing, not only in the content, but the way in which he's creating the movement. So for me, I don't always just watch the execution. I also watch the person executing. I shouldn't say executioner, but the person doing the executing. When you were born, let me ask you a question. The doctor slapped you on the ass, make sure you're okay, didn't he, right? Then he sat you probably on your mama's chest or put you in the nursery. I doubt when he handed it to your mom, he goes, hey, here's one of the average ones.

1:06:10Mediocre kid you got there, congratulations. See, you were made to do something great with your life, weren't you? And you've always known it. There's always been this little voice in your head since you were a little boy or a little girl. You've always known there was something special about you. Those of us that have faith in the room, we know we were made as a masterpiece. We know the Lord looks like us, looks at us like we can do anything with our lives through him, don't we? Is that right? You weren't born to be average. You weren't born to have a mediocre existence on this earth. You were born to do something great, and that's why you're in this room.

1:06:43It's by no mistake that you've always had those thoughts, that intuition, that aspiration, and you find yourself in this room at this time today. So if this is the worst talk you ever heard, you heard from Ted Milet. But if it's the best talk you ever heard, give Ed Milet a little credit. Is that fair? Yes? And so do you feel the energy in here, by the way? Because see, the difference between maxing out 10x in your life has a lot to do with energy. There's a winning energy, right? People respond to what they feel more than what they hear. In fact, as I'm speaking right now, you already feel different the first three minutes of this, don't you?

1:07:22And the reason is you can feel that I mean what I'm saying. You can feel the transfer of energy. Let me ask you a question. What do you make people feel? And the more you become conscious of what you're making people feel, not what you say, not their opinion of you, but what they feel when they're around you, it's going to make all the difference in the world of whether or not you're going to influence them to change their lives or participate with you in business, your company, et cetera. Do you hear me on that? Say yes. because the day he slapped you on that ass, a race started. Listen to me.

1:07:55A race began. And it's a race that started that first day when you were born to the last day of your life. And that race is to finally reach the ultimate version of you. You're chasing down the person you were born to be, that you were destined to be. And since that day started, the world, the people around you, are trying to get you to conform to average. They're trying to get you off that track to finally meet your twin someday, the best possible version of you. Every single day has to be a pursuit to get better, to improve, to grow, to stretch, because you are ultimately chasing the destiny version of you.

1:08:33Do you hear me on that? Say yes. So every decision you make in business, every call you have, whether you go to the gym or not, you need to put it through this paradigm, through this barometer. Does this decision, does this relationship I'm in, does this choice I'm making right now put me closer to becoming that man or woman or further away? Listen, you gotta get a little bit more intense about your life, about your business. You gotta stop being so dadgum casual. You gotta get in the game. If you're gonna play the game, let's play to win it. Let's play to max it out. Let's play to 10X it, right or wrong, right?

1:09:10I want you shaking, I want you feeling it, I want your intensity level to go up. Not in this room, but when you leave this room, you're focused on more energy, more intensity, more focus. Because these people you see speaking here, they're not smarter than you. We're not better than you. I don't like when we get up here, I'm rich. You know what, who cares if I'm rich? I care whether you're rich. I want you to live richly. And I can tell you, I don't like it sometimes when we come to events like this because you always see the after. If this was a weight loss ad, we're all ripped up here. The power of the weight loss ad is you see the fat lady, then she's the skinny lady, right?

1:09:49You don't see the before, you're only seeing afters here. The before with me is an introverted, shy guy, insecure guy, low self-esteem, afraid of public speaking. That's the before me, a broke me. And I'm not going to get into the details of that, but I want that to give you hope. because it's decisions we make to chase that best version of us every second, every day, that every day alters the direction of the course of our lives. We've all made decisions that we regret. That decision took me off course. That decision put me further away of being the best life I could have, the best version of me.

1:10:24When you were a little girl or a little boy, there was somebody who knew you were special. It was your grandma, your uncle, a coach, a teacher. There's been one person in your life, hasn't there? They're the one who knew you were special. There's always one. If you're blessed in life, you may have two or three of those people. Just picture their face for a second. Who was that person that when you were a little girl or a little boy, they just looked at you a little different? They just knew you were special. They knew you were great. They knew you could do something great with your life. See, I think the key to being great in business is being that person in other people's lives.

1:10:54I don't believe in faking it until you make it. And you can listen to all my podcasts and know how broke I went. But I'm going to prove to you how crazy entrepreneurs are. Because you know what entrepreneurism is, right? It's the greatest self-discovery process in the history of mankind, isn't it? You learn more about yourself, what you don't know, your resiliency, how tough you are, what your weaknesses are by being an entrepreneur. It's probably the greatest self-discovery program in the history of the world. It's also this. It's the greatest self-improvement program with the highest compensation package possibly attached to it, too.

1:11:22Entrepreneurism is a self-improvement program with massive compensation package attached to it. And that's why too many of you are too focused on growing your company and not focused enough on growing you. because your company will never, ever exceed your identity or your vision for it. You've got to grow you because what will happen when it starts to grow, you'll start making unconscious mistakes to shrink it, making bad calls, getting weak, getting lazy, making mistakes. You're all nodding because you've all done it because at some point your business got ahead of you. Far too many of you in your life are obsessed with what cab driver number two and bouncer number one think about what you're doing instead of the lead characters.

1:12:01You're obsessed with what other people think about you. The thing that's going to kill your dream is your addiction to other people's approval. And cab driver number two, he ain't going to approve of what you're doing. At the end of your damn life, he's not going to show up in any of the important chapters. Yet you give him all this power all the time. Stop giving people power who aren't in your book. Do your life for the leading character. You, your spouse, your children, your parents, your legacy. They're the lead characters in the story of you, of your life. and the more you focus on them. And I know that many of them are the very ones giving you a hard time.

1:12:35They're the very ones telling you, you can't make it, you should quit, you should give in. Let me tell you, somebody who experienced that, who's now written a pretty damn good book, they are thrilled with the book. And they knew you were gonna write it all the time someday. But you get focused on the lead character. Here's the good news. A leading character can decide to live a new script at any point she wants. She walked in here, one character, And she says, you know what? I am the lead character. This is some stupid script my parents gave me or a script my boss gave me or a script someone else gave me or my husband gave me.

1:13:07You know what? Screw that. I'm the new leading character. This woman's more beautiful, more confident, more influential, more resilient, more evangelical. This woman's just a little stronger. And you leave here in the break and you just feel different. You decide I'm a new character. I'm a new leading character in the book of my life. because the more you decide to take control of the narrative, of the script of your life and you live your dream, the more likely at the end of your life you're going to meet that dude. You're going to meet that woman. See, at the end of my life, because I am a person of faith, the Lord's going to go, hey, hopefully he goes, well done, good and faithful servant.

1:13:40And I have this other little hallucination. He's going to go, hey, by the way, this guy over here, this is the man you could have been. This is the person you were born to be. All those choices you made, if you made them all, you got the right place, this is who you could have become. This would have been your dreams. This is where you would have gone, what you would have seen, who you would have helped, what you would have changed. This would have been your book. Meet him. My dream in my life is that when I meet that person, we're not total strangers. You don't want to get to the end of your life, and that character is a total stranger to you.

1:14:10I don't care if you have faith or not. You know damn well there's going to be a funeral for you someday. And at that funeral, there's going to be a sense and a spirit of what you could have become. The woman, the man you could have become. And every day those decisions you're making to max out your life are chasing that person. See, you know what I want at the end of my life when I meet them? Watch how I pull this together. I want to be identical twins. I want to be identical twins. I want you to be identical twins. Ted and Ed are going to meet each other someday. And I'm going to say, hey man, good to see you.

1:14:43I've been riding with you for quite a while. I've been chasing you, man. He's going to go, I've been watching you. You're exactly like me, man. were identical twins. You maxed out your damn life. Congratulations. How to build something great. How to create a movement. And when I say that, I'm really talking about multiple areas. This could be how to build a great church, how to build a great business, how to build a great family, how to build a great Boy Scout troop, Girl Scout troop, any movement you want to build. Anything great has the elements we're going to cover today. There's a lot of detail here and hopefully some inspiration for you as well.

1:15:14So, you know, there's a great book I read long time ago, I'm going to show my age here, called Selling the Dream by a guy named Guy Kawasaki. And what it really was is Guy Kawasaki was the guy that kind of helped market Macintosh way back in the day for Apple. And it was a study of the history of Apple. And basically his contention was that all great movements, I think all great families, all great churches, all great everything, sell the dream. The leader of that enterprise is almost evangelical, almost like a preacher evangelizing for their cause. You know, great businesses, those of you that are business people, great businesses have a cult-like following, have a religious-like following.

1:15:53It's something that all great movements have. Apple has it, the great fitness companies that you think of, any company you know that's really flourishing has kind of raving fans. And a level past that is almost cult-like and religious-like followers. They believe that deeply. And by the way, I don't mean that in a sacrilegious way, like they believe in it more than they believe in God. You know exactly what I mean when I say that. Deep, raving fans. And And those followings are led by evangelists. All great business people, I think all great dads, all great moms, should be evangelical about their family.

1:16:22All great business leaders should be evangelists, constantly touting the greatness of your family, the greatness of where you're going, the greatness of your company. For whatever prism you're listening today through, or whatever filter, whether you're listening to this and you want to be a better mother, a better father, a better pastor, a better business leader, a better entrepreneur, I think these things we're going to talk about today are going to rock your world, absolutely. And so how do you build a religious cult-like following in your business, and how do you become more evangelical about your cause?

1:16:52I want you to write these three things down right now as a dad, as a mother, and as a business leader. Dream, crusade, recognition. These are the three pillars of building anything great. Great evangelists, great leaders and families are constantly selling the dream. Mom's selling the dream. Here's where we're going as a family. We're amazing. We're going to do something great. It's going to be a great day. Great business leaders. Here's where the company's going. This is what we're going to accomplish. This is the vision. This is the future. This is the road we're heading down. This is how amazing it's going to be.

1:17:19See, great leaders always sell the dream. Leaders must have vision because of your position. Just by being a position of a leader, you are in front of everybody, aren't you? Which means your point of view should be different. You can see things they can't see. Your job as a leader is to say, here's what I see. This is how amazing it is, and this is how we're going to get there. So great leaders, like that book said, sell the dream constantly. Great entrepreneurs are constantly conscious of selling the dream to their employees, to their clients, to their vendors, to potential clients, to people they sell, to people they do business with, to people in the warehouse.

1:17:55No matter what your business is, I don't care what it is, always be selling the dream. Listen to me. Always be selling the dream and do it repetitiously. Don't get tired of saying the same things over and over again. See, business is not about saying new things to old people. Business is about saying old things to new people. So constantly be selling the dream. As a mother or father, you want to turn your family around? You want to raise great kids? Sell them the dream on the future. Sell them where they're going. Sell them where your family's going. All the time, sell the dream, sell the dream, sell the dream.

1:18:27Second element is crusade. If you're going to build a cult-like and religious-like following in your business, for example, your crusade, constantly messaging your crusade, your cause, your mission. These are all in that same thing of the difference you make in the world, the contribution you make. You must be messaging it all the time. We're making a difference. This is our cause. This is our mission. This is our crusade. These are the two big messages that all great entrepreneurs that are evangelical create. They're constantly selling the dream, constantly selling the crusade. This creates a culture, all your systems, all your messages, all your marketing, all your social media, everything you do is about dream and crusade.

1:19:03You want to create an infectious environment in your company, you get on fire about selling the dream. I don't care if you're a two-person dry cleaners, you sell the dream of having four. You sell the dream of making 10 of them or 20 of them and you have a crusade about it. We do the best job. We get to close the cleanest. We're meticulous. We take it to a level nobody else does. We care. We make a difference. We help people make more money because they're sharper dressed in our clothes. I don't care what your business is. If you make sandwiches, the crusade of being the best and them eating healthy or them enjoying it or bringing passion to people's lives or pleasure to their lives, talk about your crusade and your mission.

1:19:38If you're in the financial business or the real estate business or the fitness business, I don't care, the tech business, what's the dream? What's the crusade? What's the mission? And sell it over and over and over again. This is how we build a following. And then lastly, recognition. Always be recognizing people. Always be holding people up. Always acknowledge people that are performing at a high level. Build an environment where you're recognizing people all the time so that people want to rise up. You know, if you have an environment of recognition all the time, that the people who aren't being recognized see the ones who are and want that to happen.

1:20:09So recognition elevates the company, elevates your vendors, elevates your clients. By the way, what do you do to recognize your clients? What do you do in your business to recognize your clients? What do you do to recognize your recruits? What do you do to recognize your employees? What do do to recognize your vendors? What do you do to recognize your assistant? What do you do to recognize people? How great are you at recognizing people? Right? And if you show me a leader who sells the dream, who's got an unbelievable crusade, who's got recognition in place, I'm going to assume you have systems in place because you can't function without those as an entrepreneur.

1:20:41But the separator between the good and the great, the extraordinary companies, the movements, the systems are not the separator. The systems are fundamentals to even get in the game. But once you're in the game, how good is your dream selling? How repetitious is it? How believable is it? How big is it? By the way, on selling the dream, you have to sell a big enough dream to people that everybody's dreams who come in contact with you can fit inside the one you're selling. Do you do that? Are you cognizant of selling it big enough that everybody listening to you, whoever that crowd is, their dream can fit inside the one you're selling?

1:21:12Your crusade and mission, is it emotional? Is it compelling? Do you hold up evidence of it? What do you do to reinforce it? Do you, on a regular basis, hold up success stories? Do you reinforce it with the stories you've had? Do you reinforce it with the message you have? Do you reinforce it with your own behavior? So how well do you reinforce the cause, the mission, the crusade of your business? And then how do you do with recognizing people? Do you have an environment full of recognition and enthusiasm and winning and progress happening all the time? Do you constantly find ways and reasons to recognize the people you work with and your clients?

1:21:44As a mother or a father, How good are you at selling the dream of your family? We're special. We're a great family. We do great things for people. We're going to win in our lives. We're going to travel the world. We're going to make a difference. Then they get to the crusade. This is the kind of family we are. We serve people. We've got a mission as a family. We're about making a difference in the world. We're special. We're givers. Do you do that? And do you recognize people? Man, you look beautiful today. You look amazing. Great job on your test. I'm so proud of you. You're my favorite. Do you do things all the time to recognize your children and your spouse?

1:22:15how good are you at that? Like just take a step back and breathe for a second. When's the last time you recognized your spouse? And do you do it repetitiously and regularly all the time where it's infectious? Do you recognize your children? Do you recognize your parents or your siblings? How good are you at just, I love you, I believe in you? Do you call them, do you text them, do you write handwritten notes, do you hug them? Do you just have an environment of recognition in your household? See, I think a great family's got a dream, a great family's got a mission and a cause, and a great family recognizes each other.

1:22:44That's what a great church does, is what a great football team does, is what a great business does. The most powerful force in the history of the world is religion, right? And I'm not talking about building something that is as important as someone finding God, but I am talking about building the same elements. See, Rick Warren in The Purpose Driven Life wrote this great book, the best-selling book of all time other than the Bible. And in that book, he lists five things that are sort of the keys, purposes to a religion. I thought it was interesting. So I'm going to give you what those five keys were because I think they apply to business.

1:23:14I think they apply to family. So we're going to listen to Rick Warren's five things. I'm going to give them to you right now. And then I'm going to tell you they apply to business for you being evangelical and creating a religious cult-like following for your company and your products, which is what you all want. So those five things are fellowship, two, discipleship and education, three, worship, four, ministry and service, and five, evangelization. These are the five purposes of a religion that he lists in the purpose-driven life. So how does that apply to business? Let's start with fellowship.

1:23:45You want to create fellowship in your business. You want to create a community type environment for your clients and the people that work with you because people want to belong in life. Number one need for human beings is the need to belong. So if you're not creating that in the atmosphere around your company, again, if it's a dry cleaners, what do you do when they walk in to make them feel like they're a part of a community? Things you say, things you give them, signs that are on the wall. It begins to build a community. If you have a financial services business or a real estate business or a tech business or a nutrition business, what are you doing to build community around your business?

1:24:16Could that be your social media, your website, your environment, the workplace, the things you mail to your clients thanking them? What are you doing to build community or fellowship in your business? Number two is discipleship or education. What are you doing to build disciples, which means what does your company believe in? What does it stand for? What's the action that you want to give them? The way you build people who are raving fans and followers is they know what you stand for. They know what you believe in. They know what your mission is. This is the way that you begin to build sort of disciple-type following.

1:24:44And the second thing is education. Every business can be teaching somebody something, and that's another way you build raving fans and building disciples is by teaching them something. So your business ought to have an educational slant to it in some way. You need to be thinking through how you begin to create that in your business by teaching people things. And that could be just a value proposition. It could be something you stand for. It could be something you mail them, something you teach them. but it begins to build discipleship and education in your business. The third purpose of religion that Rick lists is worship.

1:25:13And we do want people to kind of be in our presence, in our business, being that in love with who we are and what we do. In religion, they worship a creator. In your business, they're going to worship your cause and your mission and what you stand for. And so it's got to be constantly messaged all the time. In some way, shape, or form, worship is a strong word for really believe. Strong word is to really be connected. strong word to believe that you're different and unique and special and cause oriented. People want to be a part of a movement, just so you know, even as a consumer. That's why you see people wear the t-shirts of different brands, anything they can do to say, I belong here and I belong here because I worship or I believe in the cause.

1:25:54I believe in the mission. I believe in what this company stands for. That could be what the leader stands for, the product stands for, the delivery stands for, the industry stands for, but they need to know what you stand for. Four is ministry and service is one of the purposes that Rick lists for religion, and that's also true for a business. Businesses exist to solve a problem. Your messaging needs to all the time be about the service that you do because it's how you mobilize people. You mobilize people around that mission. You're going to hear the common theme here of dream, mission, and recognition.

1:26:26And inside this, what are you doing to recognize the people that are in your service? For example, in a church, if you've ever been to a church, there are people who get identified roles, don't they? There's the pastor or the priest or the rabbi, etc., and whatever the religion is. There's also the ushers. There's the people who do the sign-ins. There's the people who lead worship service, who play the music. These are forms of recognition inside the organization. What are you doing to recognize your client? What are you doing to recognize your colleagues, recognize your recruits? At every level, all the time.

1:26:55This is how we begin to build this part of the element of our cult-like religious following. And then lastly, evangelization. Think about all the people who you maybe think are some of the best business people or most influential people you know. Everybody from, and they're different. Think about this, from Martin Luther King to Oprah Winfrey to Mark Cuban to Steve Jobs to Mark Zuckerberg to Elon Musk to the guy I see on TV all the time. You've seen this guy with the pillow, my pillow, the guy with the mustache and the blue shirt and the cross, I don't even know the guy's name, but he's like evangelical for his cause and why his pillow will help you sleep better.

1:27:27And he repeats it over and over and over again. This is a part of building that religious cult-like following is being evangelical about your company all the time. What do they all have in common? Because they're all different people. Maybe you look at me this way. Maybe it's one of your favorite business leaders, right? One of your favorite influencers. They have that element. We all look different. We all talk different. But we all had a cause that we preached over and over again. And by the way, in no way, shape, or form am I equating the MyPillow guy with my hero Martin Luther King? Or am I equating Oprah Winfrey with myself?

1:27:57my point is is that any great leader I'm talking about the best restaurant in your town there's an experience when you go in there and that's the part of it I want you to understand there's got to be an experience in your family to make it special there's got to be an experience of being in that household whether it's where you go or the the environment in your home or just the spirit that's inside your home that's an experience people want to have a great experience that they do business with right so what experience are you creating when they walk in your restaurant how How do they feel from the very beginning they meet with you to the end of their meal?

1:28:31What's the experience that you want them to have? In your business, the transaction they make, if you're say in the financial services business, what's the experience that you want them to have? Think that through for a minute. From the minute they meet you through their entire lifetime with you, what's the experience feel like? Because if you want referrals, which is what you say you want, you want new people, people refer people when the experience is blissful, when the experience is amazing, when the experience is unique. Think about the places or businesses you do business with right now that you love the most.

1:29:01Your favorite restaurant, your favorite clothing brand, your favorite influencer on social media. Hopefully me.

1:29:12Right? So what's the experience like? How do they make you feel when you're in their restaurant, when you're consuming their protein product? And maybe that whole experience is how you order it, how you buy it, the note they write you. My friend Andy Fursella, and my business partner, they're so specific at first form, but when you buy that product, everybody gets a handwritten note. There's an experience that's different than just getting it shipped to you. They're creative at how they make people feel, even if it's in a benign transaction, like a dry cleaners, right? Like a sandwich shop, but it's really important in every business to just make the experience of doing business with you slightly different and more enjoyable and pleasurable than everybody else.

1:29:51In today's world, what distinguishes you more than anything is the experience. It's all the things we've talked about. It's the dream. It's the cause. It's the crusade. It's the recognition. It's all of that wrapped up in what's the experience that people are having when they're with us, because that's what they will recommend to people is the experience. What makes a great family is the experience day-to-day of that family. It's never perfect, right? There's ups and downs, but what's the spirit and experience in that family? As a mother, what you're creating? What's the experience you're creating as a father for your family?

1:30:21As a business leader, what's the experience? As a pastor of a church, what's the experience there from when they walk in to when they walk out to when they get home and you connect with them through social media or however you connect with them? What's the experience of doing business with you? These are the elements of creating a movement, of creating anything great. These are the ways I believe that you create a great family, a great baseball team, a great Girl Scout troop, Boy Scout troop, church or business. These are the elements that create that kind of following and that greatness about what you're doing.

1:30:53You can do something great with your life. You were born to do something great with your life. Yes, you, driving in your car right now, having that bad day, on the treadmill right now, man, just things aren't going the way you want right now. Maybe you're watching this on YouTube going like, hey man, I don't even have a business right now. I'm not even sure I am a good dad. I haven't, it doesn't matter. Your past does not equal your future. You were put here to do something great in big ways and small ways. You're supposed to help other people. You're supposed to make a difference. You matter.

1:31:21Listen to me. You matter. Your past does not equal your future. Here's the good news. Your present doesn't equal your future either. You're capable at any time of turning your life around. And if no one's reminded you lately, let me remind you. You're supposed to do something great. You're called to greatness. You're called to something higher than where you are right now. And it's some of these elements that matter in doing it. But more than anything, what matters is you knowing it. You knowing you're favored. You know you can do something great. You know you're not out of time. You know you can turn your life around.

1:31:51I know it. Now you need to know it. In fact, you need to know it deeply because it's true. I promise you. I promise you. I promise you. You can do something great with your life. I'm always here, by the way, to help you do it, to inspire you, but most importantly, probably to give you the tools to do it. I wouldn't be spending my time for free with millions of people if I didn't think each and every one of you were capable of doing something great with your life. I do this because there's this little part of me that hopes in the, I'm looking at the Pacific Ocean out here. If I'm a drop of water in the ocean of your life that helps you create a wave that makes a difference in the world, I'd love to be that drop of water in the wave of your life.

1:32:31And I know you can be that wave. I know you can transform your own life and other people's lives at the same time.

1:32:54We'll be right back.