How To Design Your Dream Life

0:04this is the Ed Milet show all right welcome back to the show everybody I'm at my let and if you're new to the show I just want to welcome you here. We're the number one mindset, entrepreneurial, fitness, spirituality, self-improvement program on the planet. And we've been the fastest growing show in the world now for a very long time. If you're not familiar with my work, I was just named by USA Today. I was very honored to be named by USA Today as the number one mindset and performance coach in the world. And I'm hoping today delivers on some of that promise for you. What we're going to talk about today very briefly is reinventing your life.

0:38And I was looking it up. People ask me all the time, Ed, can you talk, you know, give us some of the keys about how to reinvent my life? So I looked it up a little bit and I thought, what does invent mean? What's the definition of invent, right? And the definition of invent is to create or design something that has not existed before. And so what we're really talking about today is creating something, but more importantly, designing things in your life that have never existed before. And so, and then I looked up reinvent, like, is there a difference between invention and reinvention? And reinvent talks about changing something so much so that it appears to be entirely new.

1:18So today is really about two things. It's about inventing or designing something new in our life and taking control of the design of our life and changing something. Right. So it's about designing and changing. That's how we invent and reinvent things in our life. So when's the last time that you just gave yourself the gift of taking a look at your life and designing it? Now as a person of faith, I believe that you're the co-author of your life. You and God co-author all of the chapters of your life. And in any given time, you can grab a pen, a new pen, and just decide you're going to design a new chapter of your life and a new difference in your life, a new direction in your life.

1:57But when's the last time you actually asked yourself, if I want to do that, what are the things I want to change about my experience? You know, recently I've had some very good friends pass away at very young ages. my friend Jesse Lee Ward passed away at 34 years old and I just think sometimes we think we have forever to get around to designing our life to be the one that we want or we have forever to change things but what if you don't have forever what if that needs to start right now like this second as you're listening to me or watching me today start to ask yourself the questions that matter when's the last time you gave yourself the gift of what do I want my life to look like and and am I truly one of the designers of that life?

2:38Do I have any input, any control over it? And I'll tell you that I believe you do. I believe God gives you free choice and free will in your life. You do have free will. You do have choice. You do have input along with God's blessings in your life. And so ask yourself this question just as we begin today. What do you want it to look like? So specifically, what do you want to feel in your life? What are the emotions you want to experience more of going forward? What would you like to experience in your life? What memories do you want to build? What achievements and accomplishments do you want to have in your life?

3:16What relationships do you want? What do you want to look like? Where do you want to live? What do you want to drive? How do you want to feel? What do you want to have matter to you? First thing when you wake up in the morning, what would you like to feel in the morning? Have ever ask yourself that? Like right when I wake up, what do I want to feel? Do I want to feel excited and grateful and proud and looking forward to my life? Or do I want to wake up and feel worried and angst or boredom or stress? What do you want to feel? When's the last time you took control over that? How would you like to spend the hours of your life?

3:52Where would you like to retire someday? What are the things you want to do for other people? Just begin to ask yourself and take an inventory of these questions. It's such a great gift. You know, dreaming is free. It doesn't cost you anything. Yet so few people give themselves the gift of just dreaming again, just designing again, just creating again. I mean, this idea that some of you would dispute whether or not you have any control over the design of your life, you have to look no further than your own body. Is it God's will that you're 50 pounds overweight or not strong? Is that God's will?

4:27or do you have some choice over what your body looks like? Of course you do. You have choice over the food you put in your body. You have choice over the working out you do or don't do, the cardio you do or don't do, the disciplines that you have. Now, are there things out of your control? Could you get a disease? Could there be a genetic issue in your life? Yes, but so there's this balance between destiny and design. But all we can do in our life is pray in our lives that we have some insights into the direction and the destiny that we should be pursuing. But at the same time, we should take control over all of the things that we can design, that we can change.

5:04So how do you want to live? Who and what do you want around you? Begin to ask yourself this. And I'm gonna recommend a few things to you. You know, there's this notion in personal development that I talk about a lot too, which is to be fully present. You hear that a lot, don't you? Be present, be in the moment, live in the moment. Find more presence. Don't worry so much about the past and don't look into the future so much. And there's a lot of validity to that. But I'm going to say something that if you're going to reinvent your life, one of the things that you have to do is to have a compelling future.

5:34You ever have a morning where you wake up and you know that night you've got something cool you're going to do? Like you're going to have a dinner with a great friend or a romantic evening with a loved one. Or you're going to go to a ball game or a concert or a comedy show or see a movie you've wanted to see. doesn't that expectation that looking forward help you get through the morning? Doesn't it? Of course it does. Or if you've ever been about to have a family and you're, if you're a woman, you're pregnant, or if you're a husband, your spouse is pregnant, that looking forward to something, I think human beings need to live in the present.

6:10But this notion that you should have no forward projecting of what you're looking to have in the future is someone who's going to have a formula for not being very happy I think human beings need something to look forward to even in your faith life like if you if you want to break that down if we're gonna get really honest but you know part of whatever your faith is whether you're a Christian or a Muslim or you're of Jewish descent whatever your faith might be isn't part of that faith the promise of the future in heaven or paradise that you have something to look forward to beyond where you are of course it is of course that exists and so a human being that needs to live fully present yes but it also has something they look forward to that they're working towards the other thing is that progress is power that you find me a human being who may not be where they want to be but they feel like they're making progress in getting there I'll show you somebody pretty happy so I think the first step is to ask yourself what do I want to design and what do I need to change but then the next thing is progress to look forward to something and be making progress there's all this data now that they studies the brain about dopamine, which is our pleasure chemical, that essentially says this, that in the pursuit of your goal, in the making of the progress towards something that you want, that you have a greater hit of dopamine in the brain, much higher levels than when you actually achieve it in the present moment.

7:27That actually there's a crash of dopamine that happens after the achievement that falls off the earth, it just goes away. And so this pursuit, this idea of progress of growth in our life is such a requirement to peace and happiness and bliss so yes be in the present but you better be making progress towards something because that's when you're getting all the dopamine and you got to be growing and changing and here's the thing about growth and change I want to say something to you human beings underestimate their capacity to get good at something that they get fully intentional and immersed in I mean they begin to dedicate a full focus in something human beings have an amazing capacity over even a short window of time like a year and getting great at something they were no longer great when they get completely committed and dedicated towards it so one of the things I want to recommend to reinvent your life is not only things in your career that you want benchmarks achievements give yourself the gift of all of that but what's something new you could try take you all the way back to when you were a child Why are children so happy?

8:33Well, I think one of the reasons is they were most recently closer to God. That's number one. Number two, they haven't learned all these patterns of limiting beliefs and had all these people project their small mind and their small thinking and their small way of life. Also, as a child, you've not had the accumulation of rejection and letdowns just yet. But there's a few other things, too. So all of those, if those are things that make us happy, then the elimination or the reduction of those would make us happier now. So we can reinvent. We can reinvent that. But there's a few other things that children have.

9:06They don't want to be present, don't they? At the same time, when you were a child, you weren't just fully present. You were looking forward to it, weren't you? Because everything's new. You're learning and changing and growing. You're making progress all the time, whether that be in school or a sport you picked up or something you were learning. As a child, you were starting to make progress and grow and change and try new things because everything's in front of you. This is something as an adult we begin to rob ourselves from where there's nothing new. There's no progress. There's no growth.

9:37There's no change. There's no real difference. There's nothing to look forward to in our life. I mean, think about when you were a kid. I remember when I was a young boy, I remember thinking, man, I can't wait till I can learn how to ride a bike and the dream of learning to ride a bike and do that. And I remember when I got to like 12, 13 years old, that anticipation of, oh my gosh, someday I'm going to have a car and be able to drive. Remember that? Or someday I'll be in school where I won't have my own schedule. I'll be in college. I'll have freedom of my time. Or when I was 18, 19 years old, I can be legal to drink at 21, right?

10:10And even in college, there's a happiness level or in youth because you're looking forward to what your career is going to be and what your life's going to look like. And then at some point, we just get into our life, don't we? And now there's not as much progress. There's not as much growth. There's not as much change. There's not as much designing. Listen to me. Anything you want to get great at that you become fully passionate about and fully committed to and dedicate a lot of time to, you will get great at. There's this study out that's out right now that a human being who picks up a new hobby, who dedicates three hours a week to it for a year, regardless of what the hobby is, finds themselves in the top 5 % in the world in that hobby within one year.

10:52Because most people dabble. Most people don't do anything. Most people don't get creative at all. Most people don't change things at all. They don't design things at all. So this is how you reinvent your life. Try some new stuff. Get a new design. Get a new dream. Recall. Check in with yourself. Do an audit. Is my old dream still my dream? Is this thing I thought I wanted what I want anymore? As I get closer to it or further from it or I have it, is it what I thought I wanted? Is this progress still juicing me? Or is it time for a new design? Time for a new change? Time to reinvent or invent yourself?

11:28You should be, listen to me. All of the structures of your body are being reborn all the time. You can Google it. Your lung tissue is redesigning itself on a very regular basis. So are your bones, your skeletal tissue. Your cellular structure is reborn on a very regular basis. So should your spirit. So should your mind. It's nature for it to be reborn. The lung tissue you currently breathe with will not be the same tissue. It'll be literally totally different a few years from now. Same with your digestive tract. Same with your skeleton. It remakes itself. Same with your skin. Same with your cells.

12:02The body sheds the old and reinvents the new. It redesigns itself. It recalibrates itself. It changes itself. This is nature, but it's not nature to do it in our mind. It's not nature to do it in our spirit. So how about this? You get clear on those things, really intentional. How do I want to feel when I get up in the morning? What are the emotions? Who are the people? What do I want to look like? What do I want to see? I haven't seen. Where do I want to go? I haven't gone. Who do I want to connect with? What's my body going to look like? What's my energy level going to look like? What do I want to be good at?

12:38How do I want to feel about myself? What memories do I want to create? This is how we begin to reinvent ourselves, take an inventory, take an audit. What things did I used to want? I don't want anymore. I don't want them. What progress do I need so that I'm getting that dopamine hit? And then the more I achieve it, my vibrational frequency picks up. It's a muscle I build. And all of a sudden, you know the scary thing? Those of us that are listening to this, that are watching this, that know that what I'm saying is 100 % true. You can increase your vibrational frequency so high when you start drawing things into your life that you want that you actually have to start to really be careful about what you think about because you're going to draw that into your life as well.

13:17A lot of people right now listening to this that have been achievers or have had good things happen go, he's right because it is a muscle. I got to the point in my life many times where the things I thought about that I reinvented, that I focused on, that I got intentional about, I drew them into my life. and I got so good at doing it that I had to start to be careful that I didn't start to focus on my problems and my worries and my fears because I got so good at drawing what I thought about into my life I started to draw right to me my fears and worries because you increase your vibrational frequency and so again I can talk about energy and vibrational frequency and not understand that there's a blessing not understand that there's a grand design for our life not understand that You can have all the best plans in the world, and God still has his hand on your life.

14:00I get all that. But just like in your body, you have free will. You have free will. You have choice. Yeah, being present matters, but having something to look forward to in life is the juice of life. This be present thing is getting a little bit overcooked for me. And you know exactly what I'm talking about. I don't want to just be present every single second of my life. I actually want to take some time in the present to think about the future Any of you that are raising children, can you imagine telling your kids just be fully present? Don't think about your future at all. Don't think about any of your choices.

14:35Don't have any dreams Don't have any future. Don't have any vision for your life. Of course you should Your whole faith if you have faith is predicated on doing things in the present, but understanding there's a promise for you in the future And you get to look forward to it So this self-help stuff that I'm a part of about being fully present, like everything, the pendulum has swung way too much to the other side, and there's not enough people future dreaming, designing, creating a life. You're the designer and the architect of your life along with God. Now, back to this, you underestimate the power of what you could be doing if you were fully focused on something just even in one year.

15:18remember that someone who dedicates three hours to a new hobby or business or routine within one year is in the top five percentile in that in one year so I'll give you an example in my own life like my business life's gone pretty well you know there's things in my life that I would want to change but I have picked up a couple new hobbies this year because I want to grow I want to have something to look forward to so two of them one is I'm learning Spanish which I talked about on the show and I'm excited about the fact that I'm getting better I've dedicated more and more time that I was just in Costa Rica and when I was down there I was using my Spanish pretty well the second thing is just totally random but I decided I wanted to learn to ride horses this year I'm 52 years old I wrote I wrote a horse for 15 minutes when I was 8 years old with someone holding on to the horse it's only time ever ridden a horse in my life now I'm lucky I mean I bought this island that I own, and what came with that island was these horses.

16:18And I understand not everybody's blessed enough to own them. But by the way, one of the reasons I own the island that I own is because all of my life have been a dreamer. All of my life I've been designing my life. All of my life I've been praying for guidance and comfort and strength and blessing and understanding. Most all of my life I've been working my ass off and dedicating hundreds and thousands of hours towards my businesses that would eventually provide that. I'm always asking myself what do I need to change and what do I need to create so this stuff I'm teaching produce the fact that I eventually got to the point financially where I could own this island and what came with that island was some horses and the first few times I was down there with the horses I'm like oh these guys give me peace they're so beautiful they don't judge you they don't care that you're rich or that you're poor or that you've made mistakes in your life or that you're perfect.

17:12And so I started, I literally went on Google and bought three books. And then I started asking friends of mine who owned horses. And then I took some horse riding lessons. Then I took riding lessons from someone else. And I've learned the difference between a bridle, right? And a halter. I've learned how to saddle a horse. I've learned English and Western. I've learned the different pressure points on the horse when you're riding them. I've learned how to hold the reins correctly. I've learned double reins. I've learned single reins. I know the difference between a gallop and a trot, right? I've learned how they feed.

17:40I understand their shoes. I didn't know what shoes were. I didn't know it. And I look back now, eight months, all the things I know about horses that I knew nothing about, it's like hundreds of different little things, right? Like tons and really good friends of mine that are in the horse. Then I bought another horse. Then I bought another horse. Now I know the different types of horses. I know how to care for the horses. I'm still a really crappy writer of horses because I'm eight months in. But imagine what I know that I didn't know eight months ago. I've learned a lot about horses in a year, like just the terminology.

18:15I'm probably in the five percentile because 95 % of people know nothing. Now I'm at the bottom of the five percentile. But can you imagine in another year with another hundred hours of riding, how much more I'm going to know? And you know what's true I think I'm enjoying horses more than some of the best writers in the world because it's not about that it's about progress I'm getting a dopamine hit I've probably read 30 books on horses now I've worked with three different trainers it's awesome and I'm 52 and it gives me something to look forward to it gives me this vibrational frequency that I'm growing so maybe that sounds crazy to share that with you but it's been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life and humbling.

19:04See, the older we get, the more we don't want to look bad. The more we become a collection of patterns and behaviors and thoughts. And our life just sort of goes on repeat. We drive on the freeway and we don't even need to think about the exit we get off of anymore. It's so autopilot. We just do it and we're at the house. And then you go, how'd you get home today? And you don't even remember. I don't want to get home to heaven someday and not have anything to remember in my life and metaphorically and literally in many people's lives they're just now going through the patterns and the emotions they do the same five or six things with the same five or six people and wonder why they're not happy because they haven't reinvented anything so pick a new business pick a new hobby pick a new interest start painting start listening to different music start doing something to just reinvent you.

19:57Because guess what? As I said earlier, you're being reinvented all the time on the inside. Digestive tract, lung tissue, your organs, your bones, your cells. What about your spirit? What about your mind? Now, how do I change this, Ed? Here's one of the things I found out. Watch this. Create in stillness, trigger and anchor in motion. so let me tell you what i mean by that get still get quiet listen to your spirit let your intuition begin to speak to you in my case let god begin to speak to you get very quiet get very still give yourself the gift of some meditation time or some quiet time or some alone time and just allow it to be and i think you'll begin to hear things and feel things that we're always there, but the world's too noisy around you and you're too caught up in your patterns to do anything about it.

20:59There's this great saying that says the average person dies at 25. We just don't get around to burying them and putting them in the ground until they're 75 or 80. Don't be that person anymore. You can be reborn and become alive again today. So get quiet and ask yourself these questions. And then once you start to get some of those answers, you trigger and anchor them in motion. Because life is physical you anchor and trigger things in your physiology So what I've done is I've actually really loved to get quiet and ask myself. What would be something? I'd be interested What should I'd like to try?

21:32What would I like to experience? and then once I've got a vision for what that is then when I'm moving when I'm doing my cardio at the gym when I'm walking somewhere Right. I do something physical to trigger and anchor the picture of it and allow yourself to use all of your senses What would it look like? What would it feel? What would you hear? What would other people be saying to you? The more senses you can involve in this vision and the dream the better and then anchor it So when i'm doing cardio and working out i'm actually picturing my goals and my dreams and my vision i'm anchoring it in my body physically You notice i'm snapping my fingers a lot One of the things when I visualize my goals, I snap my fingers visualize my goals I snap my fingers visualize my goals.

22:09I snap my fingers that's anchoring and triggering Inside of me a physiology that produces it and then the reverse can be true When i'm not feeling like it when I don't want to do it I can go to that physical trigger and it reinstates the vision for me. It reverses itself out. Let me say it to you again. Create in stillness, anchor and trigger in motion. This is something you're probably not ever going to hear anywhere else. And I saved it for the end of the show. So I like to create in the stillness and listen to the words of the universe and have God speak to me. And for me, it's just me and Jesus having a conversation.

22:44Sometimes it's the holy spirit giving me some discernment And just some sense of direction And then once i've got that I want to start moving and when I move I picture I hear I feel that dream coming real and I anchor it and I trigger it So that when i'm not feeling it I can then do that cardio and it comes back out I can do that snapping of my fingers and it comes back out. I can do that walk and it comes back out That's why when you work out you go my gosh, i'm getting clear on my vision and my goals I'm getting clearer on my dream Because when you begin to move your body in a particular way and it's anchored in there It brings it back out in reverse And so for me, I use my body As an anchor and a trigger for my goals and dreams And that way when I'm not feeling it in my mind in my spirit in my emotions I can use my body to trigger that state to trigger that dream to trigger that Vision for my life and shift me back into action and increase my vibrational frequency As you increase that vibrational frequency, you begin to draw those things into your life.

23:47The truest and highest form of vibrational frequency in the world, the highest vibrational frequency in the world is truth and congruency, meaning that when something is true or it's congruent to what you want, it's vibrating at the highest frequency possible. And so once you're in that zone of this is what I want, this is my truth, this is what's congruent to me, this is what I'm going to do, you vibrate at a high frequency, you draw that into your life. football, you'll watch Peyton Manning was the quarterback. He'd say, Omaha, that was a play, but it was also a trigger. Tom Brady, let's effing go, right?

24:20It could be yes, it could be whatever, but it's a trigger word or a trigger move that triggers that state. And so create these triggers for yourself so that when you're not feeling it, you can override your emotions with physiology. You can override emotion with physiology. These are some of the things that I believe can help you reinvent your life this is a never-ending process when I was young I got taught this process called can I see a n I constant and never-ending improvement constant and never-ending improvement can I constant and never-ending improvement and what I'm here to tell you is that this is a constant and never-ending process in your life and the happiest people that I've meet in my life are constantly and never-ending improving so although they're fully present they are also working hard on their future reinventing their future inventing and changing things co-authoring their life with their God and I'd recommend you do these things today to reinvent your life I'm gonna remind you of something this is just part of the pie by the way part of the puzzle you were born to do something great with your life maybe you've heard me say that before but maybe you never have and maybe no one's told you in a while but I want to tell you you were born you were made to do something great with your life and if you're having a hard time picturing what these things are that you want to do it probably involves serving other people it probably involves experiencing things with other people and you were born to help those people in big ways and small ways you're most qualified in life to help the person that you used to be and there's a lot of people who need you to become the new you because that's who you used to be once you change the more you grow the more you change the more you leave previous versions of you behind and that leaves a bunch of people you can help as you grow and change anyway I hope today helps you if you want some more help I have a coaching program called the RTA syndicate calm a ret e syndicate calm a ret e syndicate I also have a friend who's got a great program that he runs called Growth Day.

26:35My friend Brendan Burchard, if you go to growthday.com forward slash ed, you can get some help in there. I have a book called The Power of One More. It's number one best-selling personal development book in the world last year. And you can follow me on social media, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, wherever you want. You can follow me there. All my content is free, including today's show. All I'd ask is that if you enjoyed today share it with the people in your life that you love that you believe in the most And that you want to see reinvent their lives and become even bigger and better versions of themselves All right, everybody god bless you max out your life This is the end mileage

27:27We'll be right back.