How To Live Your Dream / Jason Derulo

0:04This is the Ed Milet Show. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. I'm so excited to have this man here today. He doesn't need any introductions. He's one of the most famous people in the world. But what I was just telling him off camera, one of the things I admire most about him is he's a very unique combination in one human being because he's got an incredible track record most of you may not know about as an entrepreneur. Built a$100 million, way past that net worth. He's only sold about 250 million records. so he's got kind of that going for him he's also you know one of the most 20 most followed people in the world on social media over 100 million combined followers but he's written a book i told him i read it in two days and the first thing i told him is you need to do another one and you keep doing this because it's outstanding very rarely does someone who's achieved this level of success take the time to write a book to teach you how they did it because they're too busy doing it yeah most people that write books about how to do it haven't done it yeah and he's done it so So Jason Derrillo, welcome to the show.

1:04Thank you, man. Thanks so much for that intro, especially coming from you. It means a lot, man. Thank you. There's 15 points in the book. It's called Sing Your Name Out Loud, 15 Rules for Living Your Dream. That's right up my alley. We're not going to cover all 15 because I want to get the book. But there's a few I want to cover because they're like really good and rare advice. So one of the things you say, it's like 14 in the book or something, is you say, you've got to create content. And I think most people think content creation is for you and me. Like, you know, you got 100 million followers.

1:36I'm small compared to you, but I've got millions of followers. Like, oh, yeah, for you, that makes sense. But I've got 1 ,100. Why would I do that? So speak to that to begin with because you're 100 % right. Yeah, so the day and age that we live in is pretty crazy because out of literally a click of a button, you can get access to people, random people. and there's literally no barrier of entry right you can do it for free and it doesn't cost anything right um so you'll be doing yourself a disservice by not doing it right whether you are somebody that uh has a business and you're trying to get your business off the ground or you're a lawyer if you work in the sewers if you uh save the bees like whatever your profession is or whatever your passion is i would encourage you to make content because it'll just make what you do just that much bigger it amplifies what you're already doing um even if what you're doing is absolutely nothing because that is also a thing tell people your opinions like be be very vocal about what you think because it's it's crazy nobody cares about somebody's opinion until they care about somebody's opinion.

2:52That's so true. Until they express it. Yeah. I mean, so like you have to get out there and put yourself out there and every shot that you don't take is a shot that, you know, is definitely not going to go in. I think it's easier to be successful now than ever. Like back in the day, if you didn't have any connections or you couldn't get a record deal, if you couldn't get Jay-Z to listen to your stuff or whatever, right? Like you're not getting a deal. Now it seems to me anyway, anybody at any point in time can pop off in any career if they're creating content, if they're willing to. And by the way, the other thing you say in the book is you don't know what sucks at first.

3:23Right? Like you talk about the song Wiggle or whatever, right? Like you don't know what the good stuff is. You just got to put some stuff out, right? Tell them that story, by the way. It's pretty good. For sure. Told you I read the book. Yeah, no, I appreciate it, man. Thanks so much. Yeah, so in writing Wiggle, I really liked the beat. I really liked the vibe of the track that Wallpaper made. and the melody that I created I liked it as well but I couldn't figure out what the the tagline was like what was the big like it needed some sort of moment that was going to be like like holy shit like this is different or holy shit like that's pulverizing it needed something like that because that's what the track felt like to me and without that I just didn't think that it was going to be worth anything.

4:12So the first lyric that I came up with was, you know what to do with that big black truck. Now, that lyric sucks, for sure. And when I went home that day, I was like, damn, I mean, I don't really know. I don't know if this song's ever going to make it. But it wasn't until we figured out the lyric, you know what to do with that big fat butt, that I felt like the record had a chance. but still very, very left the center. It's not a typical song. It's not a song that you would hear every single day. It's something that's very left the center. So I took a risk, and I put it out to see what people would think.

4:53It was either going to be the biggest flop in the world or it was going to be the biggest song in the world. But if you don't take the shot, then you're just going to miss every single time. Well, I found that on my social. There's stuff I put out. I'm like, or even some of the podcasts that I've done, I'm like, I don't think that one. There's been a few. I won't say who they are. We're like, we recorded them. I'm like, I don't even know how we're going to put this out. There's been a couple. And they've been like, one of them was one of the top five ones ever. And I think people, I think every day, you know, people just underestimate themselves.

5:25You don't know what's going to hit. You need one thing. My book, The Power of One, where you need one piece of content to hit. That's for sure. One thing. And you've done that, you know. And it propels everything, right? If you have one thing to hit, then you get new confidence. Then things start to fall into place. You really just need one for yourself and for opening doors. But it's crazy because I've found the same thing with social media. I was not a social media head at all. That's crazy to me, as big as you are now. The beginning of my career, I had all of these songs. I had sold 200 million-something records.

5:59But I could not figure out how to connect the dots. For some reason, people knew my songs, but they didn't know the person. Like, they couldn't connect the two. I think that's true. You know, it was the weirdest thing. And then during the pandemic, I was like, this is a down moment. I'm going to figure this shit out. Like, by any means necessary, I'm going to figure out what makes people tick. For me, it's different for everybody. And in doing that, I decided to post six times a day, whether I thought the content was great, whether I thought it was kind of mediocre. I was going to post every single kind of content, not just one specific thing so that I could learn myself.

6:37I could learn my audience and learn what made people tick. Like what were the things that were going to go and what were the things that were going to go? What did you find out? What surprised you that hit? So I was able to figure out that you got to stop people from scrolling, which is a hard thing to do, because as a viewer, we all are very selfish viewers. We want we want to get something out of it. What is this video going to give me? Am I going to learn something? Am I going to be entertained? Am I going to laugh? Am I going to when I fall in love from it? Am I going to be envious? You know, it just needs to give me something as a viewer.

7:12so um in that first in that first little bit you want to just stop people in their tracks and then let them know what they'll be getting for the rest of the video and that has been like an extreme game changer for me stop people in their tracks you always been like this i'm just watching you i'm like this dude's obsessed or have you grown into this person or if i met the 18 year old you because i've read about the 18 year old you write about it in the book i'm just i think people here's what I don't like. Success can be something that creates an obstruction between us and people. And the reason I'm so glad you wrote the book, and I want to get into some of the other keys, though, but it's almost like, hey, let me just let you inside here a little bit, right?

7:51Here's my little world. These are the things I believe, which are profound. All 15 of them are, which we're going to cover in a minute. But I think people believe they're just not like us. And maybe they're not like you. I don't know. So like, have you been this obsessed all your life? Or have you kind of grown into having these real deep belief systems that you have? I got to say, I've always been obsessed. Obsessed part you've always been. I've always been very obsessive in general. I was lucky to find my passion early. So that was a, that's a head start. You know, I always tell people I wasn't born the most talented person, but what I was born with is uh the gift that I was given was the obsession yes but also the kind of path for myself you know I loved music and that was that was it for me but if it was something else I think I would be just as obsessive because I am obsessive about everything that I do yeah right so if I put my mind to something I'm really gonna put my mind to it and like try to really conquer it um but that's it's it's that obsessive nature that ends up doing it right it's putting in the hours the actual hours that is the difference maker a lot of times and it's just way easier to put in the hours on something that you love I'm obsessive too I honestly think like and by the way he talks in the book he has a whole thing about how talent's overrated right but like in my case I think I just directed my obsession at something relatively healthy like I could have easily been an alcoholic or a drug addict if I would have pointed it at that I just became obsessed with growth or whatever success is.

9:30But I think that's why I use the word obsessed. If I could replace it and Kobe Bryant were sitting there, there's a lot of similarities, right? If I replaced it and it's, I don't care what political thing you're on, Barack Obama or Donald Trump, people, they love or hate either one of them, but they're both obsessed people, right? You have that thing about you. You give real good stuff in this book. So a couple things you say in the book, I want you to elaborate on this, which is so good. You say, start with what comes easy. So this is a huge thing. I think people are constantly trying to work from the very beginning on all their weaknesses and the things that don't come easy to them.

10:08So elaborate on that a little bit because for all of us, there's something that comes easy to us that we just take for granted sometimes. Like what came easy to you, let's say it was music. Well, that's a good. But for an average everyday human being who may not have this extraordinary artistic gift, maybe what comes easy to them is like nurturing people, being kind. And they go, well, everybody has that. No, they don't. And if you leveraged it the right way, you could become immensely successful in some way. So you wrote about it. I wish people understood the magnitude of what you're saying, because everybody has a gift and you need to just find out what that thing is.

10:45What's the thing that comes easiest to you that you notice that is a little different than everybody else's? Because it could literally be anything. You can monetize anything in 2023. not to say that's what life is about obviously but yeah um uh money is freedom but um and speaking about do what comes easiest so so true to speak about my craft and since we're you know i'm a musician it'll probably be easier for you to to relate to what i'm speaking of so i have i've grown my my singing voice and i was able to grow year after year after year after year to just you know uh to have a great singing voice but i knew what my strength was and my strength was my falsetto that was the one thing that i felt like came a little easier than everything else i've always been somebody that was good at like doing runs and stuff like that but other people were good at doing runs i was uh good at pitch but other people were good at pitch um but my falsetto i was like oh my falsetto is a little different than everybody else's falsetto i feel like this is kind of coming a little easier for me.

11:54So I decided to like really put my energy into my falsetto. Like how can I take what I'm already kind of good at and just kind of like make that my thing. Um, so that's how I can relate it to, um, you know, what, what I do for a living. But you know, like you said, for anybody, whatever it is that comes easy for you do that. Yes. I'm blown away by, um, so I don't know, hundreds and hundreds of people sat in that seat. Lots of people have written books on it. Not one person's ever said that before. And it's 100 % true. Is that success is a really difficult thing, but in some ways it's not once you figure out what your gift is.

12:31The truth is I don't have a whole bunch of gifts, but I did figure out what the few of them were, and I have worked the hell out of them all my life. And so it looks easy because I'm doing things that relatively – that doesn't mean I don't work really hard to get better at them. But when you're given a gift, man, you should refine it. And the other thing you've done, it's just like we're flying through things here because it's so good. But I also admire not one hit wonders in everything. Not just music. Music's a great example because you're in music. But what you've also done for longevity is very rare.

13:09So I think of like J-Lo. She's been a friend for a while. Jen, I think even Jen would say, her strength is that she's not got Adele's voice or Aretha Franklin's voice, right? But she figured out what she was great at. She was a great dancer. She's an incredible performer. She's beautiful. She will outwork everybody in the damn business. So she's built this incredible career of longevity that way. And you've done it your way, having the longevity thing. And the thing you say is you say success is rented. It's not owned. So what does that mean when you say that? Because this is huge. People get a little bit of success and then they cool it in everything.

13:47You know this. They make a little bit of money. I'm making$100 ,000 a year. I'm rich now. I bought my house. I'm rich now. I did something for my sister. I'm rich now. But they actually think they own it instead of rent it. Yeah. The thing is, the rent is always going to come. There's always going to be a younger, more hungrier version of you that's coming next.

14:13it's a little daunting to kind of hear about it because that just means that there's no ending right there's no like yeah there's no end goal so it's a little scary you're right about that because as you achieve your goals as you you know start to live your different dreams you have to kind of be on to the next one and kind of just like go further and further and further and further and then there's just there's just no ending so it's never like one day i'm just going to be like ah i'm cool right here right no so i'm always thinking about like how do i get to the next level how do i get to the next level and i think you have to be able to humble yourself enough to bring yourself down enough to realize that there's always room to grow even where i'm where i'm at in my life today i'm trying to figure out how do i get better how do i become the best version of myself how do i become a better performer how do i become a better uh songwriter how to become a better businessman i'm always learning and i learn from anybody and everybody you know you don't have to have uh all of the accolades for me to listen to your opinion because i think everybody has opinions and sometimes you can get some really valid uh points from people that don't really have the accolades even from comments you know sometimes you know people can say some really hurtful things but damn if you like take a look at it you can be like damn i I can actually listen to that and kind of implement that within my life, and it'll probably be good for me.

15:41But going back to the point, though, success is never owned. You can only rent success because if you don't keep paying that rent, it can easily be gone tomorrow. I think it is scary for people to hear. Because even when I started out in business or whatever, I'm like, when I get to that point, then I'm sitting on the beach. Then I'm golfing. and even right now I'm like maybe I should be sometimes you're like should I be and I and you're right it can be like that doesn't even sound enjoyable to some people but the truth is tell me if you feel this way or not I'm just thinking when you're talking but like I think I'm like a I've used this term before but I think it's a help I'm addicted to my own expansion as a man as a soul as a spirit more than I more than like when I started it was about I want to get this amount of this or that or this.

16:32It's morphed a little bit over time to, I'm curious as to who I could become, what I could feel, what I could experience, what kind of wisdom I could accumulate, who I could help and the other stuff. But that one, I don't want to get off that train. The achievement train, like the accumulation of awards or stuff, there was a point where I was like, this doesn't quite juice me like it did. And I'm not even sure it's healthy but it kind of morphed at some point into who could I become you said the best version of you but that one doesn't tire me out and doesn't feel nearly as daunting as the the former does that sound right to you 100 % I'm I'm the same exact way uh and uh so much so is like when I was a kid I would have like this Lamborghini on my wall and I'm like I'm gonna have that Lamborghini one day and it was about like stuff you know like my parents would argue about money and i'd be like i'm gonna fix that when i get money like my parents are no longer gonna argue yeah and i thought that like stuff and and just owning things would make me happy but my happiest moments have always been in the grind it's the journey that i've enjoyed the most it's looking back at those those 2 a.m those 3 a.m.s, those 4 a.m.s, like, oh, you know, I was in the grind.

17:52I was doing my thing. I was trying to make it. Those are my favorite moments. And even today, you know, I love just being in my zone. And, like, my favorite thing to do in the world is to be in my own world and create, whether it's, you know, creating a business, whether it's creating a song, whether it's creating content. But just building something from nothing, I just love that. Whatever that is, that's what I'm obsessed with. You're also obsessed with your routine. Another one of the tips in the book. And I'm like, with my kids, I'm like, listen, I just did a podcast on this before you came in here.

18:28I'm like, talk is so cheap. Show me what you do. Like, I tell people, I watch people like they're a silent movie. I kind of turn the sound off. I'm just watching you. Too many people have deceived me in my life, misled me. Like, I love you, and then they don't treat you that way. Or, man, I'm so fired up about this business. and three weeks later they walk in at 11 a.m. You know, when you get in there at five. So routine. Like, what I love about you is, like, you're this immensely talented man, but, like, the keys in the book transcend talent. Like, you could not have talent and do the things you describe in the book, and you're going to produce results.

19:05So what is your – talk about why routine matters and, like, is there a day in your life that is routine or, like, are there non-negotiables for you in your daily routine? um thank you for pointing out um you know the fact that the book has keys in there like doesn't matter if you're talented or not because i think that's really important for people um to to know because if you want something if you really really want something and you're really trying to go out and get it you should you should pick up the book absolutely you know you you really should because I think far too often dreams are shut down by what someone has said to us whether it's somebody close to us or not you know words are really painful they're they're they're very limiting they can limit your life if you hear the wrong words but if you really really want something really bad and you and you have a passion and you think that you would be happiest doing that thing I want you to do that thing with everything that you've got but really try to um if even if it's if it's not this this particular book pick up something that you feel like is going to uh energize you to start because starting sometimes is the hardest thing to do in the world yeah but when you just say that on tomorrow not next week not next month I'm gonna start tomorrow and then Walk as if you are starting that journey and the camera crews are coming and they're going to start filming you tomorrow.

20:37And just start. Just start. So good. So routine for me is really important. And the only reason I know this is because I had to try to take apart my life and try to figure out what it was that made certain things tick and let's work. And routine is definitely one of them. And that's one of my other obsessive ticks. So in my most successful moments, my Talk Dirty album, five platinum songs, multi-platinum songs, one of the biggest albums of all time because it was, you know, it was a lot of hits on that particular album. Yeah. When I was writing that album, that was right after I broke my C2 vertebrae.

21:28I can't believe this. Yeah. And it was a very dark moment for me. Right. So I couldn't tie my own shoe. I couldn't shower myself. I couldn't dress myself. I had to learn how to sleep on my back. This is where you're doing backflips on concrete or something. Yeah. Yeah. Terrible idea from from the coach. But but yeah. So it was a very dark moment. what could have been a very dark moment in my life and uh i turned to my routine so woke up at the same time every single day ate at the same time ate a very similar thing every single day uh worked on my craft for a specific amount of hours and it didn't matter if i what i thought was writing what i thought i was writing was shit or not i was gonna work for a certain amount of hours and i wasn't gonna stop writing until that time um that time and then i would go to bed and then redo it all over again every single day every single day every single day and when i looked up and finally uh took a breath i noticed like i have some incredible works like like this is yeah you know i'm in a totally different place that could have went the totally opposite direction you know i could have just been consumed by the darkness that was around my life yeah but within that darkness I was just able to turn to routine.

22:46So it didn't matter if I was feeling down. It didn't matter whether I felt like I could be very creative that day. It didn't matter if I was tired. It didn't matter if I was in pain. I had to do those hours. It was non-negotiable. And the non-negotiable, I think, is the difference maker. I agree. The term non-negotiable, let's not glaze over that. That's what most people do. They get up and they start to negotiate with themselves on the day they don't feel like it. They negotiate. That's exactly what you do. I've done it when I'm wrong. I've negotiated. I'm like, well, tell you what, I'm going to get after this double tomorrow.

23:22You make a negotiation with yourself. This morning I woke up, and this is super random. I woke up this morning. My family was gone. I go down to my home gym. One of my dogs crapped all over my gym, one of my little Pomeranians. I immediately started to negotiate. I'm like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to clean this up right now. Then I'm going to go eat breakfast. Then if I got time before the podcast, I'll go do it. But if I don't get it done, tell you what you'll do. When you get home tonight after the podcast, then you work out. I immediately tried to negotiate my way out of it.

23:51But if it's a non-negotiable, that's a powerful term. It's just, it's what you do and you do it on the days you don't feel like it. This is what separates you. And you stack up, you see this man, like obviously he's incredibly talented, but you aren't his age, this fricking wealthy. And he's had multiple generations of himself. Over and over, he's remade himself. That's because of routines. And I don't want people to slough it off because you're good looking or fit or whatever, or talented. It's this stuff that he's describing that has separated him. I want to ask you this question. And I always ask it at the end when it's someone that's had this much success, but I want you to be really honest.

24:30I want to do it in the middle. is it worth it truthfully has this been worth it what you thought all of it would be becoming a success or is it just totally different than you thought it would be meaning being you you walk in here today you got your beautiful little guy with you but there's also stuff that comes with it you've lost your privacy you've got security you've got people with you you have the pressure of being you You've accumulated a bunch of money, and I know very well, it's so much better to have money than to not have money, but it's not quite as good as you think it is when you get it.

25:07True. Right? So what's the answer to that? Or is it even better than you thought?

25:14I think life is kind of a sum of good things and bad things. you know just like everybody else i have uh silver linings i have moments that i feel stressed i have moments that i feel like why me i still have those right so those kinds of things don't disappear right i just think my life is just different um where i say that my life is better for it is because i'm able to live my passion yeah and i can't think of a better life than being able to wake up in the morning and do the thing that i want to do um so when i can't necessarily go to dinner like for instance if i'm just like in a random place right and like i want to just go out to dinner like i could do that but i mean it's a it's a risk b it could be a hassle i can't just be like i'm gonna go to dinner like it has to be like a setup right like i have to contact this person and this person so that i can make sure that i got my uh guys with me boom boom it's like an ordeal that part is unfortunate you know i'm saying like the average person they're hungry oh you want to go to boom it's it's a lot more simple the upside though some people that are hungry can't even go get the food in the first place right so yeah but you're right that's why i asked so everybody has like the thing the thing you know the ups and downs but what i will say is I am a very happy, like very positive person.

26:44And part of it is because I really get to live what I'd love to do. I love getting on stage. I love, uh, I love writing songs. Those are, you know, some of my favorite things to do in the world. So when I have to do things that I don't necessarily want to do, I'm cool with that because that's just like a, uh, just like a small part of what the main thing is. I still live, you know, a very, very comfortable, happy life. you have a high degree of humility combined with a great deal of confidence. Appreciate it. And that's a great combo. My favorite people have that. I say all the time, someone with a whole bunch of confidence and no humility, they're eventually going to flame out and they're just a pain in the ass to be around.

27:23For sure. Right? Yeah, I know way too many of those. So do we. We both do, right? They're in your business. They're in my business. Yeah. The other part, though, is people with a ton of humility with no confidence. They're going to wear you out, too, because you're dragging them through life. You're constantly trying to pick them up. You have the really great nuance of someone who will last a long time, Which is one of the reasons you have okay another part of the brilliant book by the way the name of the book guys sing your name out loud 15 rules for living your dream and they're all 15 super valid rules But you talk about collaborating which is easy to say in music But it's totally true in every other area of life that if you the power of collaboration with other people Can actually accelerate the pace of your dream happening right so why does that matter?

28:04I want to be sure that everybody understands that The rules have come from a place where I was able to succeed within music utilizing that rule, then succeed within business utilizing that rule and social media. So like each rule had to have had a major part in making me become who I am as an entrepreneur, as a musician and as a creator. so each rule has those underlying it's like the bullet point well when people collaborate overall this is really good collaboration but I want to say one thing too you and I are doing it right now we're collaborating I'm helping you sell books and you're helping me build my brand at the same time we're also learning from one another but when someone's small in social media or in their starting in business one of the quickest ways to accelerate is get four five six of you together and say look I'll share your stuff you share my stuff You post mine, I'll post yours.

29:04These are things that you can do in business or in social at any given time, but you talk about it in the book. And what's happening is I'll ask you a question and then you're making a super good point related to it. And then you don't remember the question, but there's nothing wrong with that because you actually made a point that was unrelated, correlated to it. For sure, yeah. So what about collaborating? And then sometimes I'll remember something and I was like, I really want people to get that nugget right there. Yeah, so collaboration has been a huge part of who I am as a musician from collaborating with different producers and songwriters so much so that i've been just been kind of a just kind of like a a vessel for creativity so it doesn't matter how many hits you had if you have some sort of name i was down to work with kind of anybody and some of my biggest songs have been with people who have never had a hit before interesting and i've always just been kind of like an equal opportunity kind of person you know because i think creativity is kind of just in the air and you just gotta you just you know who's gonna grab it i don't know because sometimes you'll be in a room with somebody and then all of a sudden they say the idea that you were thinking you know it's just like like who got to it first yes kind of thing um so uh talk dirty uh that was a song from a guy named wallpaper who had never had a hit before i took a chance on it and you You know, it became one of the biggest songs in the world.

30:27A song that I have, Marry Me, Jonas Jayberg, that was his first ever hit. Became a big producer after that. Trumpets, John Belian, that was John Belian's first hit. And he went on to produce for Eminem and Rihanna. And it was just like taking a chance on people. And I've been doing that for a very long time. Even Savage Love was from a kid from New Zealand who had this popping sound on social media. but it was just like oh i like i like this sound i think it's really creative and very left field i think it's a brilliant idea let's make a song to it you know by the way all these songs geez when you start listing them all it's like you write what you said earlier yeah like i know all these songs but sometimes i forget they're all you yeah you also though have collaborated in business yeah so have i so like i'm thinking about tell them about the i think danny white and the car washes, right?

31:21Like, see, I told you. So, um, but you've done this to become wealthy too, like flat out really wealthy young man. Part of that's through collaborating and more people should be doing this in business. Absolutely, man. I mean, whenever you can, uh, find someone that you can learn from, but also give something back to, I'm a true believer in don't pick your friends because you feel like they are way smarter way better i think you need to find a balance because you don't you don't you don't want to have a friend that's just all all the relationship is them giving giving giving to you and you have nothing to give back i don't think that's a good relationship because it's going to fizzle out and it's not going to be great i think you need to find friends that you feel like they can give you something and you can give them something back reciprocity yeah and you guys can kind of grow continue to grow grow grow grow together you know whether it's information, whether it's funds, whether it's ideas, like whatever it is, make sure that the relationship, you know, has some sort of, you know, give and take.

32:26But for me, I was able to find someone that is very like minded, comes from a totally different world than I come from. He's a business business mogul who has created, you know, amazing things for himself. And, you know, I'm a musician first and had been investing in a lot of companies, but never creating the companies myself. And the two companies that I tried to create myself were a vodka line, which ended up failing, and a clothing line, which also ended up failing. But I've had successful businesses that I've invested in that done well, you know, Catch LA and Rumble Boxing, you know, ventures that have, you know, hundreds of facilities now.