How to Remake Yourself Feat. Ryan Kalish

0:01This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling? Smart move. Another smart move? Getting help from one of State Farm's 19 ,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto. Bundling. Just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. I get so many headaches every month. It could be chronic migraine, 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting 4 hours or more.

0:35Botox, Autobotulinum Toxin A, prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine. It's not for those who have 14 or fewer headache days a month. Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness.

1:05Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. Why wait? Ask your doctor. Visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more.

1:40welcome back to the show everybody listen when i started the show about eight or nine years ago i had a purpose with doing this show which was to change people's lives to inspire people to make their dreams come true or make a change in their life and then give them the strategies to do it. And as the show became more and more successful, like many shows, you can get guests on anytime you want. You can get more and more famous people on. And I started to do a lot of that. And I felt like we were missing the mark sometimes, just having a famous person after famous person on. And I want to introduce you to people that stimulate something in your heart and your soul, maybe your mind, to get you to make a shift in your life.

2:22That's really what I want to do and then hopefully teach you some of the strategies to do it. And I found somebody today that's going to do that for you. You're going to hear a story today like you've never heard before. Let me tell you where I found him. And I know this is not my normal intro, everybody, because it's so meaningful today to me that you listen closely or watch if you're on YouTube. I'm scrolling through YouTube or excuse me, Instagram several months back. And I see this clip of this man and I didn't know where he was, but it looked to me like maybe he was in a foreign country. He was a fit dude.

2:52He looked like an athlete to me. He's walking down the street and he comes up to this man who was homeless. And it ends up being that I watched him basically bathe this man and give him a haircut and clean him up and help him and put a little food in his belly. And I thought, my gosh, what a beautiful moment. Who is this person? And then I looked into him and his story and I said, I want this dude on my show. I want to introduce him to the world. and so we're going to do that today. Let me tell you about him first. Former Major League Baseball player. He played for the greatest baseball team in the history of the world, the Boston Red Sox, and then he played for another team called the Chicago Cubs.

3:29I'm just kidding. He played in the big leagues though. Known for his athleticism, had a good career, just guys, tons of injuries, 14 surgeries. It just, that dream was going to end. His career ends, and I'm sure like anybody, his identity is a little bit lost what's he going to do with his life and through a process we'll go through today this man ends up stepping away from pro baseball and went through this transition and now you know what he does he's a global humanitarian he basically helps the most underserved people in the world and by the way he's done the majority of this so far on his own dime everywhere from indonesia to thailand uganda india jordan tanzania egypt he's helped orphans refugees, vulnerable people just out of his heart.

4:17And he's personally funded a lot of this. And so if you're at a stage of your life, everybody, where maybe you're ready for a change, maybe your dream's not to own a Lambo and a mansion, but you want to make a difference in your life. And maybe your identity's been attached to a relationship you were in or a business you did or money or something, and that's gone. How do you find the new you? I got the guy for you today. Ryan Kalish, welcome to the show. Oh man, I appreciate the intro. I feel humbled and blessed to receive all that love. And yeah, it's been a journey and I'm excited to get into it with you today.

4:53I'm proud of you and I'm just meeting you, but I'm proud of you, brother. I really am. By the way, he has something called the Hope of Life Fund, which we'll talk about a little bit. And I'm going to give you the website, even though if you're driving, you probably won't remember it, but it's givebetter.com slash hope dash of dash life dash fund in case you end up wanting to help Ryan change other people's lives. Okay, here we go, brother. So if you're watching on YouTube, you can tell it's a big jack stud athlete career ends your whole life. I know what this is like. You grew up wanting to be a baseball player.

5:26You became it. And then it was sort of taken from you. So now you're at this spot in your life. Who the heck am I? And I think there's a lot of people listening right now or watching that feel the exact same way. Take us through that period of your life and how you ended up landing on, I'm going to go to Indonesia or Thailand and help vulnerable people. How the heck does that happen? Oh, wow. Okay. I'll do my best. So obviously retirement, it was a choice, 14 surgeries. I was trying to keep playing, but my right knee was really not doing well. So I stepped away and it was this period of two or three months where at the same time every day I was going to cry right like it was just going to come out of me and I started having you know some really deep dark thoughts about you know maybe not wanting to be here so I ended up out in California and I was like I have to try I have to do something anything so I signed up for a Pilates teacher training course so I'm actually a certified Pilates teacher as well although I don't really do that and then you know it was really nice to get me going um through the process make try something new and then man actually you know just to be completely vulnerable it like um you know I kind of started abusing substance a bit um marijuana was kind of the thing and then psychedelic drugs was in the mix okay and it was it was very powerful and I got carried away.

7:03Um, and kind of what came through was the spirit of Jesus, which was so interesting because it wasn't something I'm not religious. I never really liked religion. It wasn't my thing. And all of a sudden here I am. I'm like, why am I thinking so much about him? You know? Wow. I didn't know that. Okay. Yeah. It was like a, it was a really soul touching experience and I don't really like but the way I was expressing it wasn't because I was on all this substance I it wasn't really grounded and it made people worried and you know long story short I went through a long mental health battle even with that spirit kind of coming down into me so over time I kind of felt lost in America I decided I need to change I'm gonna I'm gonna to leave.

7:55I went over to Indonesia right around 2020. And the spirit of Jesus kept coming in, but I couldn't figure out, like, I couldn't ground it. I was not behaving perfectly, you know, like, my mental health was just unstable. And then I ended up getting clean, you know, clear and clean, especially in Indonesia. It's not a place where marijuana is legal. So it was really good for me to go there right i ended up meeting my wife you know along the way i was uh i became an entrepreneur out there started a business okay um so kind of stabilized my life you know uh had my daughter came along which is like just such a blessing um and then we ended up moving four years right we have like a pretty normal life and we go out to thailand you know we moved to thailand And this was where, again, you know, actually now in Thailand, the marijuana is legal.

8:55Yeah. Yeah. It's like fully legal there. Yeah. So it kind of came back into that a little. And here comes the like spirit of Jesus. And I'm like, this is so I'm like, no, I don't want this. Don't mess around with subs. You have a family like relax. So it's been over, I want to say it's been 16 months since I haven't had anything like that. But the spirit was still with me. And I was like, what am I to do with this? But this feels like a calling, you know? And I'm like, okay. I went out to Austin, Texas. I was trying to connect with certain people. Didn't quite work out. And I was sitting by this river and I was feeling anxious.

9:39And it was like this spiritual calling of like, the reason that you don't feel good yet is because you're not really walking with Jesus yet. And I was like, and I was like, somebody mentioned like, hey, if you really want to like do this, you need to go like serve the people. And I was like, that's what I'm supposed to do. That's what I do. do and so you know as a baseball player when you get admission and you get that calling like I got when I was five years old for baseball now I have this new one and I'm like let's go so I flew out to it started in Egypt uh on Easter last year wow went to a church with these underprivileged kids started serving and I just started moving and I I've been doing it once a month ever since I met like another um humanitarian but he was really good at content creation in uganda and he taught me some of the stuff and i started to think like well how can i raise money and get my message out if i'm not recording this i don't really love it i can tell because you're kind of putting people you know people's lives out there but we ask everyone and if somebody says no we don't show it of course uh most let me jump in i want to say that first because i want you to keep going but i I want to just pull kind of some clues out of what you said, brother.

11:03And that is number one, you did some to change your life. I think like when identity like that ends, whether you're divorced or business fails, or you're just like chasing something in your life and I'll just encourage you midway through. I don't want this anymore. Whatever it is, right? Success leaves clues. A couple of things happened that I want to make sure that people know you did. number one you did take some time yeah to like listen to the voice on your heart which you say is jesus right but like just to get quiet and just not maybe not go to the next thing right away maybe take a moment to yourself and listen to your soul listen to your spirit and so i just think that's success clue number one okay i want everyone to pull out of this from ryan number two God uses imperfect people.

11:54So I'm so grateful that you're vulnerable. Hey man, I'm smoking a lot of weed, doing some psychedelics, you know, and you're self-soothing is what you were really doing during those times. Yeah, for sure. And, but the second part of it is when you're feeling helpless in your life, get helpful, get helpful. And that's really what you did. Now I can't imagine when you sign your deal with the Red Sox that you're like, you know what, in whatever amount of years, within the next 10 years, I'm going to be in Uganda, giving some dude on the street some orange. Isn't life amazing? So how does this service start?

12:29How did you know who to serve? You know what I'm saying? People always say, well, how did he get started? Did you just go, I don't know, but I'm going to take some action next? What happened to get it going? Yeah, no. I mean, it was just a quick story. When I was six years old, my mom told me we were in Washington, D.C. And she told me I got angry and she's like, why are you mad? And I was like, well, why is that guy on the street sleeping in that building so nice? Wow. So it was kind of potentially always there for me. And once, you know, even during my baseball career, you know, one of my dad's friends or my sorry, my best friend's dad said, you know, if you want to be close to God, when you see somebody really struggling, and throw them five dollars and i always kind of stuck with me so i always had the eye for seeing vulnerability and so you know especially uh in uganda when it came down like my friend was already doing this for many years such an amazing story congolese refugee starts you know gets over into uganda and starts feeding kids on the street when he was 15 and he started you know kind of doing that so that was where i like i already could have the eye for the you know for the vulnerable but now i'm starting to mix in like how do i build this message yeah potential build it into whatever it's going to do you have to share it so that was that moment there and then you know i've been to india four times i've done it in thailand you know all over the place and And I just figure out a team, you know.

14:07I find people that kind of, you know, the path, it leads itself if you're willing to walk it. Yeah. What about, what's it, what did feel like the first time or what's it feel like? By the way, it's amazing to me that this has only really been a year or two. I didn't realize that. One year. That's crazy, Ryan. I mean, the amount of places you've done. I love that you use the word vulnerable people. Tim Tebow is a good friend. He's been on the show a bunch of times and we live near each other. We speak at a lot of similar engagements. And he said, I always wanted to be an MVP when I was playing football.

14:35And he said, I do now, but it's a different thing. It means I want to help the most vulnerable people. Yeah. And Tim does that. He's the real deal on it. And, but I think sometimes with Tim, and I can say this, I think people look at him and he's like almost perfect, you know, and what attract any, and, and frankly he is. And what I love about you is like, you're like, no, I'm imperfect. and yet I'm still making a difference because most of us as humans, we look at ourselves and go, I'm not qualified. Nobody, I can't help anybody. I can't even help myself. Why should I be helping other people?

15:09And that's not the truth. I'm wondering, compare the two feelings, hitting a jack in baseball in the big leagues and your circle in the bases and be honest, compare that feeling to like the first time you fed somebody who had no food on the street. They're exactly the same. they have this and then like my my dad i'm saying with my parents this moment here being able to talk about my journey with such a man as you if they're all like the same they're all they all have that you know just that like adrenaline rush but there's also this thing that you like me even my dad he's never done this before he's 70 years old he's starting to but when we go out there he's my camera he's my cameraman right come on are you serious brother it's it's real special right now what's happening in my life man like we've been we've been through a lot you know you know i've had a i had a struggle mentally they see me through a lot and so for him to be here on the journey wow like feeling it you know he's taking it's a spiritual richness that giving back and helping people and just seeing like wow like you know a lot of people all around the world are in a difficult position um and you know it's like i don't know where it's all leading wow but i'm like i'm here and i want to be a leader in this world now you know i feel like it's the time bro it is and and uh you know i think often in life we think we're not qualified And I often say, I think you're most qualified to help the person you used to be.

16:55And if you're lost in your life, you're helping people that to some extent are lost or have been left behind in your case. How beautiful, bro, that your dad died. I didn't know your dad was the cameraman. Well, this trip, you know, it always varies, but this one is like extra special. Bro, no question. Tell your dad, thank you for the work he's doing and God bless him. I'm sure you weren't easy and going through your mental health stuff and they probably stood through you through some tough times. For sure. Yeah. You know what's exploding right now? Online shopping. And let me tell you where. Whatnot.

17:26Listen, I've seen shows. I've seen the rankings. And I've seen the revenue numbers. And the number of sellers making over a million dollars a year on Whatnot has doubled in the last year. Can you imagine that? A million dollars a year? So if you're selling online out of a storefront, maybe full-time or a side hustle, you already know the challenge. You're hoping for people to find you. Know you exist. Buy your stuff. Whatnot flips that. on WhatNot, you go live and you sell directly to people in real time. They see what you got, they ask questions and buy. Here's the hook, they keep coming back.

17:55It's something I've never seen before. Sellers are building real thriving businesses. So whether you're starting up or you got a big one already, I can tell you something, WhatNot's what you need to look at. WhatNot buyers spend more than an hour a day in the app. They're bidding, buying, and coming back. And I gotta tell you, I've seen the buzz, you've seen the buzz. Go check it out for yourself firsthand. So here's what you do. Go download the WhatNot app today and get free shipping on your first order. Just search W-H-A-T-N-O-T, whatnot, in the App Store and start scoring amazing deals. You know, when I coach people one-on-one, the main question I get asked that we work on as well is scaling.

18:26And if you're going to scale a business that takes the right expertise at the right time, that's why I love Upwork. Upwork helps growing teams quickly bring in specialized freelancers so you can move faster and take the business to the next level. When you're hiring people, it shouldn't be a big headache, and you shouldn't have to look forever to find the right people for a specific type of work or niche. And Upwork makes it easy to hire specialized freelancers quickly so you can get the expertise you need now without waiting or all the recruiting or all the back and forth or even having to hire somebody full time.

18:56The fastest growing businesses aren't doing more. They're delegating smarter. Upwork helps you bring in freelance experts really fast. We've done it in a couple of ours, including this podcast. Go check it out. Trust me. And so, by the way, it's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's upwork.com, upwork.com. You know, one thing I want you to picture everybody before I get into some more questions. When you see his work now, you're like, oh, there's this man. He, you know, cut his hair on the street.

19:29And it's beautiful the way you care for people, bro. It's this big, strong dude. You know, he's walking up to people on the street. But now it's being filmed because you've got to raise money for it and all that. But just remember this when you're watching these videos, guys. That's not how it started. It started with just with a man that's like, I just feel like I need to help people. There was no camera. There was no plan. There was no idea of what it was going to be. He wasn't promoting anything. He was just doing it. And so not everything you do has to be on Instagram the minute you do it.

19:58And maybe nobody will ever know you've made this difference. That doesn't mean it doesn't count. God's watching you, the difference you're making every day. And so when you do that, what have you learned? And, you know, sometimes you walk by somebody who's on the street and you can feel bad for them or something maybe. And or judge them or what happened to their life or whatever it is. What do you now know about people that are vulnerable like that that some of us that have not done that work don't know? Meaning how you look at them, how you view them, their life status. Like, what do you see and know about them we don't?

20:41All right. So this is a great question. In India, I cut about 50 people's hair that can't afford it. People might not even accept to cut their hair. You know, they're living on the street. And yes, some of them are, they're drinking, some of them. Start cutting people's hair and you see scars, like big scars, like surgical scars. And potentially, you know, maybe they had a bike accident in their life. Maybe they were abused. So the whole point is that we don't know how they got there. And so to, you know, with the spirit of Jesus with you, they're having compassion for these people. And like, you know, we just don't know how they got there.

21:26And even if they did get there on their own doing, Like, I feel like they deserve more chances than whatever it is that they've had, because some of us are privileged and some of us are just born into they're never going to have anything. And so like, for me, I really, you know, try and just always keep that in mind with everyone that I meet. Because it's real, man. Like, I would say 70 % of those guys that I cut that hair had some sort of significant head scar, which would, you know, be a head trauma potentially. Indicate a lot of abuse probably in their life more than likely. Yeah, exactly. And so, you know, being here in America too, like, I mean, I haven't cut people's hair yet.

22:09doesn't seem necessarily like something everybody wants, but I see souls pretty well now. And I could feel that like so many people just, they, I don't know, man, they didn't have the luck and they didn't have like, I don't know, like the David Goggins mindset of being able to push through everything. And that's like, not everyone can be David. And we, we need to have that compassion to like have systems in place um to be able to do i think we i think we can do better is what i'd say well you are bro and when i was younger i used to use the term weak and strong and as i've traveled the world you know i don't necessarily believe in that all the time meaning just because somebody's in a difficult situation or they're down on their luck doesn't mean they're weak maybe they just made a bunch of, by the way, you've acknowledged you've made bad decisions in your life.

23:08So have I, just for the grace of God, I've been able to land on my feet many different times. And so, you know, your work gave me perspective in the sense that, let me tell you what it did for me, and I'll have you speak to it. I think I do a pretty good job, but like, how many people do I walk by in a given day that I don't even see? Meaning, and I'm not just talking about someone who's on the street. I'm talking about someone in the grocery store, someone at the airport. You know, we have a lot in our lives where our heads are in our phones and we don't even see each other anymore. And what I love about what you're doing is, especially people on the street, you know what most people do?

23:46They keep their head up and they walk right by them. And if I don't look at them and I don't see it, I don't have to deal with it. But I think that's a metaphor for life. I think a lot of us walk by each other every day and don't see one another anymore like we should. Do you feel that way too? Absolutely, man. I've seen it all. It's all over the world. It's not specific to any one country. And, you know, I also have compassion for this is the society that's been created. It's how life is happening fast. and so it's easy to get swept away and I think that I can do you know all of us good to you know just step back and and try because like I mean I wasn't always doing this either so it's like I'm not if you haven't done it it's not like hey you know come on but there's a little bit of like come on I know you could we could all do a little more but it's like it all like I mean life is short um and so we're only here for a short time so if you haven't got there yet it's not like a knock on you it's just like it takes you know time and and life circumstances to get you to that place but you know man i was listening to your podcast with pete holmes and you were talking about your dad yeah it's like what am i gonna leave behind you know i'm not gonna leave my my car you know it's like what impact am i gonna leave behind that's what i'm after now yeah bro you are i i actually was thinking while we were talking this is no joke about my conversation with pete while we were just talking and because he and i have talked about this off camera too and you know i i you can't you know if you're a christian you don't earn your way into heaven, right?

25:32That's been earned for you if you're a believer. But whatever your faith belief is, set that aside even for a second today. A buddy of mine gave me a compliment one time and it's just, I kept the message. And it was after a speech I gave, but here's what he said to me. This is where I think about you and I want everyone to think about this. He said, bro, you can't earn your way into heaven, but what you did today. And it was a speech that I gave. And he said, it makes me emotional, but he said, he said, I just want you to know there's going to be a long line in heaven when you get there with people there to thank you for making a difference in their life and whether that's true or not is immaterial I've not stopped thinking since that day about you know what can I do to make sure that I've helped somebody and you made me think that truly like try to describe for it like what does it feel like you you get back to the hotel and you just helped three or four people that day on the street.

26:28And you, by the way, spent your own money so far, mainly. I want everyone to understand that. Do you get back? Is it lonely? Is it fulfilling? Is it emotional? Do you cry? Like when you make a difference, I want everyone to feel for a second like they're sitting there going, does my life have meaning? I don't feel like I'm probably ever going to own a Lambo or a mansion, and I don't even know that I want one anyway. What's my life mean? That's what most people daily, and it causes depression, by the way. They conclude it, most people subtly, slowly, bro, if we're being honest. That's why I'm so glad we're doing this today.

27:02I think most people are reaching the conclusion, I don't matter. My life doesn't really matter much. And I think this causes a sense of depression in people that they don't feel like they have meaning in their life or that they matter or that their life matters. And so does this give you a sense of that a little bit in your life when you get back to the hotel afterwards? Or what are you feeling? Oh, absolutely. Well, I would say to anyone who I know, even for me still, you know, when you're going to go step out of your normal, like take care of myself only routine, it's uncomfortable. the feeling is there for me almost every time I go to do it in the morning I'm you know I could just go to the sauna I could just go to the gym no no I know what feeling I'm gonna have after I do this and the feeling at the end is like at the end of the day when I'm sitting back it's just like this pure like I'm a very anxious person if I'm out of alignment with my truth and at the at the end of the day it's like it's just so like ah i did it again today and like but it is also at least for me because i'm an athlete like i have a pretty you know i guess major league goal for all of this like i want to go further i let me ask you this are there moments where you're like i'm totally not the person that should be doing this like do you feel inadequate often no no no not anymore uh no i mean judas was a carpenter apparently so it's like i mean i don't have a degree but i have the heart and i feel like i could be a really good leader here on earth for connecting back to the message of jesus which isn't that different from what Muhammad was saying it's not very different from Krishna you know I think all these guys are you know I'm connecting a lot to the Lakota nations their prophets it's kind of all about like taking care of the planet taking care of the people and you said it just on your last podcast and Pete as well it's like with politics is like we're sorry using the word sorry using the word love like where i'm like where is that right right humility is not humility seems to not be rewarded in the world today um you gotta always be right i have this thing i want to ask you about i yeah sure how much of your old identity had to die for this to happen and what i mean by that is this tell you an interesting story i have this uh about this property and uh on the property there's these bald eagles.

29:51We call them Fred and Wilma. They were this married couple and they lived there about 15 years before I bought the property. Anyway, long story short, Fred passed away. And now Wilma is a widow. And I had the people from the bird sanctuary place come out and they're like, well, she's probably going to pass in the next year or two as well. And I said, okay. And they said just, you know, at her age and plus when they lose their loved one, they usually, they lose their will to live. Anyway, like six weeks later, I hear this like pecking noise at the, in the mornings on like these rocks. I'm like, do we have woodpeckers?

30:23Like what's going on? And I find out it's Wilma hammering her beak against the rocks. I'm like, is she trying to kill herself? What's happening? Then the next time I saw her, she looked like she'd lost all her, a lot of her feathers. And I'm like, oh my gosh, she's dying. So I called the people at the bird sinker, actually the caretaker of my island did. So I said, you know, what, what's going on? I thinks she's in this process of killing herself and the the bird sanctuary people got so emotionally like oh my god that's not what she's doing at all she's remaking herself she said two percent of these eagles go through a process where they remake themselves what she's doing is she's sharpening her beak and she's plucking all the feathers off of herself that no longer serve her ah yeah and she's going to remake her life and she could extend her life by double And guess what?

31:13Wilma is still alive. She's remarried. She's had a baby. And she's flying strong now. And what she did is that old identity had to die. She had to pluck out of herself all these things that didn't serve her anymore. And I think that's a metaphor for life. Old identities, old beliefs, maybe some old relationships. You have to pluck them in order to make room for the new. Did you have to do some of that being an athlete? You have no idea. it's like it's happened multiple times and you know even to the point where sometimes my phone is very quiet but since i'm so like in touch with me and i know the path is unveiling itself that like i used to you know crave like people to text me all the time and stuff like that and now i'm just like there's it's good like enjoy the peace because i don't i don't think it's going to last forever it's it's a season of the life where you're like trying to build something i mean year you know april 20th will be year one easter was you know 420 of last year so so you so you changed your life smoking all this weed on 420 not not last year but in my past yes yeah but it was but it was 420 that's an ironic day it was easter and i was at the church in egypt and that was a huge shift but like got you obviously it was kind of funny i'm like huh that's interesting that easter is 420 this year.

32:37By the way, just to tell you, I want you to keep going. That's the day my dad got sober. And my dad celebrated that day. But all my life, I thought only my old man would get sober on 420. So anyway, keep rolling, though. Keep going. Well, I mean, I kind of, we were talking about like, my, my, Jesus was a person who lived a life. You know, he didn't really talk about any teams. He didn't talk, he didn't say the word Christianity, Catholicism, Islam, but he's in all of them how did he do that because he just took care of people he loved god and he loved thy neighbor as himself so the more that we can connect back to that message you know i'm not saying like the religions are are bad i'm just saying like the person that lived the life is like what i'm focused on and the more of us that feel connected to that spirit no matter your religious belief because that archetype is in all of them the caretaker the the bridge builder the peacemaker like what jesus was he's he's everywhere in the world you know in different forms and so the more that we connect back to that and then you know like obviously let's just be honest the modern day pharisees are still here they haven't gone anywhere look at you I'm so impressed.

33:59Was there one thing though of the former you that had to go away? You said one was like need for attention, right? I relate to that too. As I became more well-known, I think there's an addiction to that. like oh people know me oh i walk in a room and as i've purposely sort of tried to shrink my public profile it's a navigation i have of i'm enjoying the piece of it but there's still this thing like i'm not quite that i'm not i'm i'm not getting the attention so it was that the main thing you had to peel away or what what had to die or get what feather had to be plucked that was the biggest thing with you for you to remake you hey guys as a lot of you know i've been taking im8 for you You know, a couple years now, I've been talking about it on the show for a long time.