How To UNLOCK Your Ultimate Potential | Ed Mylett

24:02Do you hear me on that? Say yes. So every decision you make in business, every call you have, whether you go to the gym or not, you need to put it through this paradigm, through this barometer. Does this decision, does this relationship I'm in, does this choice I'm making right now put me closer to becoming that man or woman or further away? Listen, you've got to get a little bit more intense about your life, about your business. You've got to stop being so dadgum casual. You've got to get in the game. If you're going to play the game, let's play to win it. Let's play to max it out. Let's play to 10X it.

24:37Right or wrong, right? I want you shaking. I want you feeling it. I want your intensity level to go up. Not in this room, but when you leave this room, you're focused on more energy, more intensity, more focus. Because these people you see speaking here, they're not smarter than you. We're not better than you. I don't like when we get up here, I'm rich. You know what? Who cares if I'm rich? I care whether you're rich. I want you to live richly. And I can tell you, I don't like it sometimes when we come to events like this because you always see the after. If this was a weight loss ad, we're all ripped up here.

25:14The power of the weight loss ad is you see the fat lady, then she's the skinny lady, right? You don't see the before, you're only seeing afters here. The before with me is an introverted, shy guy, insecure guy, low self-esteem, afraid of public speaking. That's the before me, a broke me. And I'm not going to get into the details of that, but I want that to give you hope. Because it's decisions we make to chase that best version of us every second, every day. That every day alters the direction of the course of our lives. We've all made decisions that we regret. That decision took me off course.

25:48That decision put me further away of being the best life I could have. The best version of me. When you were a little girl or a little boy, there was somebody who knew you were special. It was your grandma, your uncle, a coach, a teacher. There's been one person in your life, hasn't there? They're the one who knew you were special. There's always one. If you're blessed in life, you may have two or three of those people. Just picture their face for a second. Who was that person that when you were a little girl or a little boy, they just looked at you a little different? They just knew you were special.

26:15They knew you were great. They knew you could do something great with your life. See, I think the key to being great in business is being that person in other people's lives. I don't believe in faking it till you make it. And you can listen to all my podcasts and know how broke I went. But I'm going to prove to you how crazy entrepreneurs are. Because you know what entrepreneurism is, right? It's the greatest self-discovery process in the history of mankind. Isn't it? You learn more about yourself, what you don't know, your resiliency, how tough you are, what your weaknesses are by being an entrepreneur.

26:42It's probably the greatest self-discovery program in the history of the world. It's also this. It's the greatest self-improvement program with the highest compensation package possibly attached to it, too. That's what entrepreneurism is. It's a self-improvement program with massive compensation package attached to it. And that's why too many of you are too focused on growing your company and not focused enough on growing you. Because your company will never, ever exceed your identity or your vision for it. You've got to grow you. Because what will happen when it starts to grow, you'll start making unconscious mistakes to shrink it.

27:11Making bad calls. Getting weak. Getting lazy. Making mistakes. You're all nodding because you've all done it. Because at some point your business got ahead of you. Far too many of you in your life are obsessed with what cab driver number two and bouncer number one think about what you're doing. Instead of the lead characters, you're obsessed with what other people think about you. The thing that's going to kill your dream is your addiction to other people's approval. And cab driver number two, he ain't going to approve of what you're doing. At the end of your damn life, he's not going to show up in any of the important chapters.

27:43Yet you give him all this power all the time. Stop giving people power who aren't in your book. Do your life for the leading character You, your spouse, your children, your parents, your legacy They're the lead characters in the story of you, of your life And the more you focus on them And I know that many of them are the very ones giving you a hard time They're the very ones telling you, you can't make it You should quit, you should give in Let me tell you, somebody who experienced that Who's now written a pretty damn good book They are thrilled with the book And they knew you were going to write it all the time someday But you get focused on the lead character.

28:20Here's the good news. A leading character can decide to live a new script at any point she wants. She walked in here, one character, and she says, you know what? I am the lead character. This is some stupid script my parents gave me or a script my boss gave me or a script someone else gave me or my husband gave me. You know what? Screw that. I'm the new leading character. This woman's more beautiful, more confident, more influential, more resilient, more evangelical. This woman's just a little stronger. and you leave here in the break, you just feel different. You decide I'm a new character. I'm a new leading character in the book of my life because the more you decide to take control of the narrative, of the script of your life and you live your dream, the more likely at the end of your life you're gonna meet that dude.

29:03You're gonna meet that woman. See, at the end of my life, because I am a person of faith, the Lord's gonna go, hey, hopefully he goes, well done, good and faithful servant. And I have this other little hallucination. He's gonna go, hey, by the way, this guy over here, this is the man you could have been. This is the person you were born to be. All those choices you made, if you made them all, you got the right place, this is who you could have become. This would have been your dreams. This is where you would have gone, what you would have seen, who you would have helped, what you would have changed.

29:27This would have been your book. Meet him. My dream in my life is that when I meet that person, we're not total strangers. You don't want to get to the end of your life, and that character is a total stranger to you. I don't care if you have faith or not. You know damn well there's going to be a funeral for you someday, and at that funeral, there's going to be a sense and a spirit of what you could have become. The woman, the man you could have become. And every day those decisions you're making to max out your life are chasing that person. See, you know what I want at the end of my life when I meet him?

29:57Watch how I pull this together. I want to be identical twins. I want to be identical twins. I want you to be identical twins. Ted and Ed are going to meet each other someday. And I'm going to say, hey man, good to see you. I've been riding with you for quite a while. I've been chasing you, man. He's going to go, I've been watching you. You're exactly like me, man. We're identical twins. You maxed out your damn life. Congratulations. Max out, everybody. God bless you. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify.

30:31We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Welcome back to Max Out, everybody. I'm Ed Milet. Today we're going to talk about the echo of life. or the echoes in life. And what I mean by that is you know that when you hear an echo you've said something but there's a delayed response until you hear it coming back at you and then you experience the result. And that's how life works. See today, one of the reasons so many people are confused about their lack of success is because we live in a very immediate gratification type society. Meaning people expect results to happen instantaneously because we can get access to information instantaneously.

31:08We can get on social media, we can get music, we can get a movie, we can get a Google search, we can get a book, we can get anything we want instantaneously. But what you can't get instantaneously is success in life. And we've been raised in a generation now, many of us, even older guys like me, we're programmed to get things right now. And this hurts us in life because we don't realize the echoes of life. See, for me, for example, when I'm having a difficult time in my life in one area or another, all I have to really do is look back 60 to 90 days and it's the behaviors I had 60 to 90 days ago that are causing the results I get negatively right now.

31:44And so, for example, when I'm not really, you know, progressing in my career or in my financial situation, if I look back 60 to 90 days prior, I stopped reading the books, listening to the audios, doing the things that grow my identity and I pay the price 60 to 90 days later. In my body, my body isn't looking like I want it to. If I look back 60 to 90, 120 days, that's when my diet got weaker. That's when my workouts weren't quite as intense as they were previously. And I pay the price three to four months later. This is true in every area of our life. Our lives are almost like reading a newspaper today, but we're reading the headlines from 90 days ago.

32:21And so that's what confuses people. They see the external results of their life, but if you did, if you read the newspaper from 90 to 120 days ago, that's where the news was made, not today. And so in every area of your life, you got it going right now. You got to fuel the fire. If you've got your business going, your finances going, your relationship going, your faith going where you want it to, you have to continue to do the activities that got you here in the first place, because 90 days from now, you're gonna read today's news. That's how it works. If today's news is you stop telling the person you're with you're loving, if you stop dating them like you did in the beginning, you stop treating them a particular way, you're gonna pay the price for it in a 90 to 120 days if you're not eating the way you want to when you eat a piece of cake you don't see the fat deposit the next day there's a delay and so what happens is we do these negative behaviors and because we don't see an instant pain or an instant consequence for it we don't think the consequence is coming but the consequences always come there's a delayed consequence for everything we do and so today you're getting the external results of 90 days ago's headlines of what you were doing.

33:27And the mistake most people make is they get things going in their life, they get their business going, and they stop the very things that got them there because they believe today is the headlines. But you're going to read it in 90 to 120 days. You're going to pay the price. And so in every area, pour the flames on, pour the fuel on, do the things that got you there, but do more of it because there's an echo for today's behavior. The reverse is also true, and this is why most people give up on their dreams. Success, the echo is longer. In success, see the negative comes 90 to 120 days, but the benefit, the gain, the increase, the result of doing the right things is often delayed by six months, a year, 18 months, two years, sometimes five years.

34:11And so what happens is most people make these investments. They do all of the work. It's almost like a bank account. They make the deposit. They make the deposit. They make the deposit. And then they quit before they get to make the withdrawal because they don't see the results. And success, remember this. You're making these deposits. You're doing all the right things. It's not 90 days later you get the result often. Sometimes it's not 120. Sometimes it's not six months. Sometimes it's not a year. Sometimes it's two years. And most people can't wait to make the withdrawal because they don't see the immediate result or they go, well, wait a minute.

34:43When I do things wrong, I pay the price in 90 days. If I eat poorly, 90 days later, my body doesn't look good. If I don't perform right in my business, my business goes down 90 to 120 days later. If I don't read my personal development or listen to the podcast I'm supposed to, my identity shrinks 90 to 120 days. How come when I do the good things, the results don't come in 90 to 120 days? Sometimes they will, but oftentimes the the delayed gratification, the delayed benefit, is way off into the future. The people that win in life accept both echoes. I accept in my life, I know it's a law of the universe, I know it's a life law, that if I don't do the right things, 90 to 120 days, I'm gonna pay the price.

35:25I also know the other law is, if I'm doing the right things, the benefit, the body changing, the finances changing, the life changing, the relationship changing, might be delayed by six months, not 90 days. Might be a year, might be two, might be five years in some areas. But I accept that there's always a payoff. Remember this, there's always an echo. There's always a consequence. If you do the wrong things, no matter how good your business is right now, listen to me. You think you got it going and you're sloughing off a little bit. You're not quite in the office as early as you used to be. You're not making quite as many contacts as you once were.

36:02You're not quite as focused as you once were because you think you got it because you're reading three months ago's headlines or six months ago's headlines. But I promise you 90 to 120 days from now, you're going to read today's headlines. Make sure that you continue to do the right things. I've also though come to believe and know in my own life, because my life is evidence of it, that there's an echo for the positives too. I don't know when that one's coming back, but I know it comes back. I know for a fact that if I do the right things in my diet and my nutrition, my body and my workouts, my body eventually gives me the result.

36:36I know in my finances, if I do the right things, eventually there's an echo that comes back. I'll eventually read today's headlines of my life and celebrate them. I know in my relationships, if I invest and do the right things, the loving, the caring, the believing, the actions required, that at some point there's an echo that comes back and that relationship blossoms and flourishes. I know it in my identity. I know it in my self-confidence. if I do the right things, the echo comes back eventually. The thing to accept is it's going to come back. And if you know this, you begin to win. If you know this, you don't look at today's life and believe you've got it wired.

37:11You don't look at today's life and believe you're relegated to these results forever. You know there's a negative, which is 90 to 120 days, and you know that there's a positive, but that echo comes back longer. And the winners keep making the deposits, keep making the investments, because they know for a fact, for a fact, that eventually there's a withdrawal. One of my favorite parables in the Bible, and I'll probably mess this up because I do that all the time, but I mean this with the right intention, is the parable of the sower, which basically says that if you keep planting seeds, that eventually God will provide a harvest.

37:45I've begun to know that that's one of the laws of life, one of the echoes of life, is that there's a harvest, but those seeds that you're planting or those phone calls, that diet, that workout, those things you do in your relationship the investments you make in yourself and your identity, that if you keep planting those seeds, i.e. making those deposits, those investments, that eventually God will provide a harvest in your life. But not all the seeds reap a harvest. Sometimes you're going to plant seeds that don't have great soil or there's thorny soil and the seeds don't grow. The wind can get it, the rain can get it, the birds could take seeds, whatever can take the seeds.

38:16But eventually, if you keep planting the seeds, that there's a harvest that you will be rewarded with. And this is a life law. It's true in every area. There's also a negative harvest. The chickens do come home to roost in every area in our lives, but the negatives come home to roost much sooner than the positives do. And this is why most people are confused in their lives. They say to me, Ed, I've been doing all the right things in my nutrition and in my workout. Why isn't my body better? Or I've been working on myself for a while now. I'm reading the books. I'm listening to your podcast, and I don't see the results just yet in my life.

38:46And it's confusing because you say to yourself, I'm doing the right things in the moment. but you're still reading yesterday's headlines. And sometimes the positive headlines can be, like I said, a year, 18 months, two years. But I promise you, the headlines change eventually. Don't be confused by your current conditions. Remember this, your current conditions, your current life does not dictate your future. Your past does not equal your future. Your present does not equal your future. What equals your future are those deposits and those investments you're making now. There'll be an echo, there'll be a harvest.

39:20There is a consequence for every behavior in life. We need to accept this. There's negative consequences if we do the wrong things, no matter how good it looks right now, no matter how good your business, your finances, your relationship, your faith, your body looks right now. There are consequences if you slow down. There are consequences if you're not doing the right things. You are not immune to this. I've done a lot of podcasts or programs here on ego. If you begin to believe that you are immune from the echoes of life, You are immune from the positive and negative harvest. That's your ego speaking to you.

39:53Yes, Ms. CEO. Yes, Ms. Perfect. Yes, Mr. Successful Financially right now. Yes, the guy with the high self-confidence. Even you will suffer from the echoes and the consequences of life. The good news is you control that. And if you'll do the right things on a habitual and regular basis, you're assured long term of a positive harvest, of a positive result in your life. And so I want to remind you today that you're in control of this. If you're a person of faith like I am, you and your God praying, you planting the seeds and him eventually blessing with the harvest. If you believe in plugging into the quantum field, and I believe in both of those things, by the way, and getting the energy from the universe that can drive you, I promise you there's a consequence and there's a reaction for every action.

40:35Just sometimes it comes in a delayed fashion. There will be an echo in your life. And my final question to you today is this. All of our actions echo into eternity. long after we're gone, our lives also have an echo. Listen to me. Your life matters. What you do in your life matters. You were born to do something great with your life. You were put here for a reason, which is to make a difference in the world, which is to change your own family's tree, which is to do something great with your life. I promise you, you were put here for that in little ways and in big ways. And there will be an echo for your life.

41:09The actions of your life will echo into eternity. The question is, will that echo for you be a whisper into eternity or a roar? And you get to decide based on the actions you take every day in your life, whether the life of you, whether it had a big meaning and it roars into eternity, or whether you play small and you just whisper into eternity. You get to choose that. I know you were born to have a roaring echo in this world long after you're here. The investments you make in your children and grandchildren into other people, that's part of the roar of your life. Maybe it's not a jet or a beach house, but it's the good things you do.

41:48It's the seeds you sow of goodness and the contributions you make for others that ripple into other people over and over again, far beyond what you can even imagine. That's your legacy. That's your life roaring its echo into eternity. But if you shrink, if you play small, if you don't take risks, if you don't take those actions, if you don't keep improving, you don't keep growing, then your life will just whisper into eternity and you weren't put here to be a whisper. You were put here to be a roar into eternity. I know that for you. I'm 100 % convinced of what I'm telling you here today. I believe in you.

42:21I love you. And I know you've got what it takes. Just remember this. Make the deposits, make the investments, plant the seeds. There'll be a harvest that just is going to be delayed in God's time or in delayed time. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. If you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow The Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Today, what I want to talk about is qualifications for your dreams. You know, most times in life, we do everything we can to disqualify ourselves from our dreams and our potential.

42:54And I want you to think about this just for a minute. I really believe, and I want to make a bold statement in the beginning, that you were born to do something great with your life and that you're not disqualified. No matter what's happened in your life, good, bad, or indifferent, or maybe it's just been average and ordinary the entire time, you are not disqualified from making your dreams, your purpose, your vision a reality in your life. But what we do often, and I've done it many times, is I think my past disqualifies me or some mistake I've made. So we hold ourselves, it's almost like a weapon we use against ourselves, is we hold our past mistakes, our past failures, our past setback, our past average performance and behavior as if it's a predictor of what our future is.

43:37We think we're disqualified. So I'm here to tell you that the things that maybe that are the biggest setbacks of your life, the things you might be most ashamed of, the biggest disappointments, the biggest what you might call failures, where people have hurt you, or maybe you even hurt others, sins you've had, mistakes. You know, I've had a divorce, so I'm disqualified from winning, not true. Or I've had this setback, no, you're not disqualified. Well, I've had a bankruptcy or I had a business failure or I've just always been invisible and average. So I'm disqualified from ever doing something great in my life and nothing could be further from the truth.

44:09It's the great lie of life. The great lie of our lives is we begin to stack things that didn't work out as evidence that we can't win in the future, as evidence it's not going to work. We actually also literally think it disqualifies us somehow from winning. And I'm here to tell you that is a great lie that millions of people around the world are telling themselves. And what if I was to tell you that I think those same divorces, setbacks, failures, sins, mistakes, the average performance of your past are the very things that do qualify you to change other people's lives and fulfill your destiny.

44:47That's what I actually believe. See, in life, if you really want to impress people, show them how perfect you are. Show them your best Instagram photo, your biggest achievement, the best things you've done in your life, how happy and smart and amazing you are. You really impress people. And you'll connect with nobody. And you will change nobody's life. But on the other hand, if your ambition is to change other people's lives, is to make a difference with your own life, to make an impact on people's lives, then show them your imperfections. If you show them there are imperfections, you will connect with them.

45:24Let me give you the best example in the world. Someone said this on my show many times. I've said it before. You are most qualified to help the person or people you used to be. Say that to you again. You are most qualified in your life to help the person or people you used to be. Rory Vaden said that on my show. I've said that back since 1997, a version of that. I just didn't know how true it was until recently. So as you all know, I wrote the number one best-selling nonfiction book in the world this year called the power of one more If you haven't got that book, I would recommend you go get that book.

45:56I believe it'll change your life But after I wrote that book and it became a bestseller I woke up one night and the book is really about the lessons I learned from my dad as many of you know But some may not my dad was an alcoholic and a drug addict for the first 35 or first 15 years of my life And then he got sober when I was 15 and he made one decision to do that and stayed sober one day at a time for the rest of his life. And I'm in the personal development, the change your life space because I believe human beings can change. In fact, I don't believe it. I know it. And the reason that I know it is because my own hero did it.

46:33I watched my dad live a particular way that wasn't great the first 15 years of my life. And then the next 35 years of my life, I watched him live as a completely different man, a magnificent life, a giving life, a kind life, a beautiful life, a heavenly life. So I know humans can change because I watched my hero do it. But what's most amazing about my dad's sobriety is I woke up one night many months ago crying in my sleep. And I woke up and I said to my wife, she goes, what's wrong? And I said, I said, well, you're not going to believe this, but I just realized something. Someone helped daddy.

47:10Someone helped my dad. She goes, what are you talking about? And I said, well, when dad got sober, someone helped my dad change his life. Some precious human being stepped forward and said, I can help you. See, we're born in our life to do great things in our life, big and small, but we don't know when we're doing them, whether they're big or small. We don't know the ripple effects. And I said, someone helped my father in the worst moment of his life. My dad was either going to take his own life or lose his family. And in that terrible moment, I don't even know where it was. Was it a bar somewhere, an alley.

47:42I don't know who they are or where it happened, but what I know is some human being changed my dad's life, which then changed my life, and I've changed millions of people's lives. This precious human being has no idea that that one act, that one generosity, that one helping one person has impacted millions of people because they helped my father in that alley or that bar somewhere. Is that not remarkable? That one act, the ripple effect has affected millions of people's lives. And that's not the most remarkable part of it. Even though that's crazy to think that as a human, you have that power.

48:18You have one person. The ripple effects are unknown. That's not the most amazing part. The most amazing part is what was it that qualified that precious human to help my father? What were their qualifications?

48:36the very things that most people would think disqualified them, the things that that person was most ashamed of, their biggest failures, their biggest sins. You know what qualified that person to help my dad? They were also an alcoholic at one time. They were also a drug addict at one time. They also lied and cheated and stole money and lived in the shadows. The things that person would think, my gosh, my alcoholism, my drug addiction, my lying, my theft, my shadowy life, All those things, the worst things about me I'm totally disqualified from having a great life From living a dream, from helping other people If anyone's disqualified, it's me Wrong Actually, those were the very things God was using The universe was using to qualify that person To meet the moment, to help my dad When he was going to take his life or lose his family I want you to understand and think about the power of that The very thing that human being probably walked around Most of their life thinking Now that's the weapon I use against me why I can't win, why I can't be happy, why I can't help people, why I can't change.

49:34Other people could win, just not someone like me, not someone where I come from, not with my family, not with my background, not with my mistakes, not with the fact that I've always been average and ordinary, not the fact that I'm invisible. No, no, no, no. Sorry. Guess what? Those very things that you use as a weapon against you that you think disqualify you are the very things that do qualify you. That person didn't know all those years they were using drugs and suffering, all those years they were drinking alcohol and making mistakes and hurting other people and probably lying and probably stealing and probably living in the shadows.

50:12Every single one of those things was preparing them for that moment to help somebody who was the person they used to be, my dad. But you are most qualified to help the person you used to be in your life. I'm a living proof of it. By the way, so are you. As you're listening to this or you're watching this, you are part of the ripple effect of that one act, that human being who helped my dad, who helped me, who's now helping you. What I hope you do today is, by the way, you share this episode with somebody so that ripple continues. I want the world to understand one thing. You are not disqualified from making your dreams come true.

50:53I don't care. Some people think, well, that's what I look like. It's where I come from. It's the mistake I made. It's none of that crap. Those are the very things that are qualifying you right now because you are most qualified to help the person you used to be. And by the way, that's why growing matters because every time you grow into a new version of you, you are most qualified to help the people who you used to be. And then you grow people. Why do you still grow and read and expand? because I know every time I grow and change, I now can help that person I used to be, those people that I used to be.

51:25If you were once broke and now have figured out how to make money, you can help broke people. If you were once overweight and now are fit, you can help all those people. If you were once broke in and now are a little bit less broken, you can help broken people. If you were once invisible and average and ordinary and in despair, you can help people who feel average and ordinary and invisible and in despair. If you were once insecure and shy, and maybe you are right now, and lack self-confidence or lack direction or lack purpose, and then now you find it and discover it, you can help all those people in the world who currently lack purpose, lack confidence, lack inspiration.

52:04We are most qualified in our life to help the person or people we used to be and never underestimate the ripple effect of you just saying, hey, I'm imperfect too, but this is what I've learned and I'm here for you and I love you and I believe in you. I honestly believe that if this one message reached millions of people, we would have a different world. We'd be a little bit less judgmental. We'd give each other a little bit more grace. We'd have way more people pursuing their potential and their dreams. See, I have an addiction. I have a lot of them, but my main addiction is I'm addicted to the expansion of my being.

52:40I'm curious and fascinated by what my capacity can be to do different things in my life. And that constant pursuit of potential, that constant pursuit of growth, that lack of judging myself, that lack of assessment of negative thoughts about myself and giving myself grace of knowing, yeah, I just made a mistake, but guess what? I've learned from that mistake. I've grown from it. And now I'm qualified to help the people who may make those same mistakes. The reason I do this show is because I just have a lot of experience with failure. I have a lot of experience with setbacks and frustrations. I know what it's like to live scared.

53:18I know what it's like to live with negative emotions. I know what it's like to live afraid, to live angry, to be depressed. I know what it's like to be broken. I know what it's like to be broke. I know what it's like to not have electricity in my house. I know what it's like not have running water. I know what it's like to beg for money at a gas station so that I could get to my house now that I think about it. I know what it's like. And you know what? That's what qualifies me to help people. See, it takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. not perfect people. None of us are perfect.

54:05I get emotional when I share this with you. Not for me, but for you. I want you to make your life something awesome. I want you to change other people's lives. And I know most of the time you feel disqualified to do it. And I hope today maybe you get a little bit of a glimpse of exactly how qualified you are. I think God's a really interesting dude. And I think he sits there and goes, if I could just get my children to understand, I'm preparing you every day to make a difference in the world. I'm preparing you every day to change your own life, to change other people's lives, and that you're immensely qualified, that the DNA of the King of Kings runs through your bloodstream.

54:47I just want to remind you today, as you're listening to this, that you're born to do something awesome with your life. And I'm here to help you every step of the way, along the way. But you've got to take the first step today. And that step today is just to believe that you're qualified. You're immensely qualified. You're immensely capable. You're awesome. With all your mistakes, all your weaknesses, all your sins, all the things you're not so good at, all the things that you wish you were better at, that you see other people have, you wish you looked this way or talked that way or thought that way or had that family, you're perfectly you.

55:23You're perfectly you in this moment. And the minute you accept that, you understand how qualified you are to change your own life and to change other people's lives. And I think one of the things you could do today that would qualify you is to share my message, is to share these thoughts with people so that people maybe today get a little bit of a glimpse into what's possible. Your decisions shape your destiny, everybody. And the minute you decide that you're qualified, your life changes. Before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube or follow the show on Apple or Spotify.

55:55We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Welcome back, everybody. Today's going to be awesome. I got a great friend here, someone I'm very, very proud of and very fond of. I have great affection for this man. I admire him. It makes me emotional, and I respect him. and I think probably in my life, the last five, six years, he's potentially grown more as a person than anybody that I know, and I loved him and thought he was amazing when I met him. And this is a guy in the pursuit of greatness, and it just so happens that he's got a new book out called The Greatness Mindset.

56:35Unlock the power of your mind and live your best life today. This man's immensely qualified to talk on this topic. Lewis Howes, welcome, brother. Thanks, Ed. Appreciate it, brother. Good to have you. A lot of the things you have in here are about stories and that we live our stories. And chapter three is the first thing I want to ask you about. Missing your meaningful mission. What causes someone to not know their mission and miss it? Is it they spend too much time in the former story? That they've taken meanings that don't serve them from the story? What causes somebody to do that? All of that and the fears that hold them back.

57:07And there's really three fears that I've identified, which is the fear of failure, the fear of success, and the fear of judgment. And when we can reflect on analyzing which one of these hold me back the most and what is the root cause of me living in that fear, then we can start to, again, mend the wounds and create meaning from those wounds and then create a new meaningful mission moving forward. For a lot of my life, I don't know if you've ever been in this place, I was so driven to succeed because I didn't feel enough. And I thought by succeeding, achieving, getting awards, getting followers, making more money would fill the hole of not feeling enoughness.

57:43Not smart enough, not talented enough, not good looking enough, whatever it was. Is that something you've experienced in your past? One billion percent exactly the same. And for me, I would get, I don't know about you, but when I would experience success in sports and then early in business, it's almost like 20 minutes after I accomplished a goal of 10 years I was chasing I was angry yep I don't know if you ever felt that way 100 % angry and was kind of like mad at everyone around me like when everyone's celebrating me I was kind of like get away from me yes and I didn't understand it until I started the healing journey about me understand so this is what happened for me I realized that my fear when I started to dissect this I was never afraid of failure and And I don't think you ever were either because you're an athlete.

58:31And athletes who go through the journey of multiple sports, which we both played, multiple sports, we have coaches that say, hey, it's okay to fail. Just adjust it a little bit. Adjust your shot. Adjust your swing a little bit. You're going to miss it. But here's how you adjust it. It was always feedback. It was information. So it wasn't like you suck and leave if you fail. We failed every day. Yes. And we knew that this was the process to success. I became familiar with failure. Exactly. Then the greatest baseball players in the world fail 70 % of the time. It's like they're failing constantly, but we celebrate them for their successes.

59:07And so I was never ashamed to miss a shot or fail because I knew it was just practice. And I always wanted success, so I wasn't afraid of success. I wanted success for the wrong reasons, though, and that's why I was upset and angry when I would accomplish it. And I didn't feel like I needed more. Me too. But I was like, I want to accomplish success. I'm excited about it. So I'm not afraid of it. But I was afraid of judgment. I was afraid of the opinions of other people. And I was afraid of what people would say in front of my face, behind my face, would they accept me, all these different things.

59:41When I ask people in a big room, who's afraid of failure, most people raise their hand and say, this is a fear of mine. And that's why they don't launch their book or their podcast or they don't start speaking on stage or they don't start a new career or ask the person out. They're afraid to fail. And I ask people, okay, for everyone who's afraid of success, raise your hands. An almost equally amount of people raise their hand who are afraid of success. And I never understood it because I've always wanted it. And over the last 10 years, I started to ask why. There is a documentary called The Weight of Gold.

1:00:15I want people to watch this at some point because it's about Olympic gold medalists who go depressed, commit suicide, have overdoses within like six months or a year after they win the gold. If we do not prepare ourselves for success, it could cripple us. And the pressure of, okay, now friends and family want more from you. I know you are extremely wealthy and you've had to deal with probably lots of people asking for things all the time. Can you give me money? Can you help me with this? Can you do this for me? And in some ways, it's a great privilege to be generous and supportive to people. But when it feels inauthentic, you feel like people are taking advantage of you.

1:00:55And so that pressure of success is real and people don't want that responsibility. They're afraid of that pressure leaning into it. I always wanted it. But when I started to accomplish, I started to notice, oh yeah, I don't like some of these things that come with it as well. So I have to learn how to manage it. But it was the fear of judgment, which always crippled me. So I was extremely self-critical of everything. Even when I broke the world record, Even when I was a two-sport All-American, even when I played the USA handball team, even when I hit my first million dollars after I was broke, I was so self-critical because at the root cause of all three of these fears is I am not enough.

1:01:32Gosh. And the I am not enoughness will destroy us. It will hold us back from our truest gifts, from expressing our love, from being generous, from being open. And that's the thing that I had to learn how to heal. Why do I not feel enough? No matter what I accomplish, I still don't feel enough. Why am I never satisfied with me? It was never about the accomplishments. It was always back to the root of me. I don't feel enough. I don't feel lovable is what it really is. And I need to accomplish more in order for others to love and accept me. But really, at the end of the day, I did not love and accept myself.

1:02:11And when we can learn the art of loving and accepting ourselves authentically for all of our flaws and all of our beauty, that's when we can start stepping into true greatness. Lewis, I feel like you just described me. Really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know, bro. Wow. Tell me. Tell me more. Well, I don't even know that I have fixed that yet. I'm not sure. I think I've made progress on it. But this notion of, because what you just said, fear of failure, nah, not too much. And people say, I'm afraid to succeed. I've always thought, and just people are different on their experience. I'm like, why would you be afraid of success?

1:02:51I know. But fear of judgment, holy smokes. I almost feel like you've created a new category that maybe if people really analyze it, a lot of us fit into that one. Yes. If you have a fear of failure, is it the failure you're afraid of or the judgment that would come with the failure? And so when I looked at category three, I'm reading the book the other night because you gave it to me maybe a week ago or two weeks ago. I'm like, oh, man, fear of failure. It's like this old school fear of success. Fear of judgment. Oh, boy, he's on to something right here. And it is exactly what you just said. I am not enough.

1:03:22And if you go even a little bit deeper, it's what you said. I had our mutual friend that you introduced me to, Leanne Rimes, on my show. And I finally said during the interview, you know what my issue is? I can give love to people. I don't allow myself to feel loved. And she said the same thing. And it's weird for two big dudes that are accomplished, you know, two guys sitting here to share this. But I think it's powerful that we are. I'm still not sure right now that that's not something that needs more exploration for me. That I'm still, and I wonder it with you too. Is there a little bit, maybe I've made progress and it's reduced.

1:03:55but there are a lot of moments if I'm being real where I should be experiencing more joy than I do from something I should be experiencing more love than I allow myself to experience and it's pretty obvious to me that that's probably because my dad was an alcoholic and I probably lacked a little bit of that and all that anxiety but you are on to something so huge here which is the next thing you have in there which is the dream killer which is called self-doubt I feel like judgment and self-doubt are sort of related somehow. Do you? I think self-doubt is the killer of all dreams. And that's why I love you and your message because you instill so much belief in people.

1:04:32You give people belief by your presence, by just your way of being. It's so powerful. And I think the whole game is learning how to believe in ourselves. That is the game of life, I think. It's what allows you to accomplish any goal you want, the more belief you have. And I love your definition of self-esteem and self-belief. This concept is really being your word. You've heard you say this a lot of times. When you can live to your word and be that and honor it or take responsibility when you're not with your word and take responsibility for that as well, you start to become more believable to yourself and others believe you as well.

1:05:13You become a credible person to yourself and others. and that attracts more things. So self-doubt for me is the killer of dreams. And I think I wanted to ask you another thing to follow up on that. The interview in your always comes out. I know. Well, I'm just curious because I wanted to ask you about, do you worry more about the judgments of other people or do you worry more about the judgments of yourself about you? I think it's moved from other people to me. And I think that was probably the cause the whole time. So it was easy for me to worry about what are they going to say? What are they going to believe?

1:05:45What if I fail here? opinions of others. But I feel like that's more the symptom. I'm just answering you right now on the moment, on the fly. I think the disease is me not believing I'm worthy of it. I was talking to a mutual friend of ours that you're about to go see, and we were both describing to each other today, he's a very successful guy, that I still have a lot of imposter syndrome at 50 years old. And this dude has no reason to have any either, and he has it. And I think even sometimes I see this in years. Now, part of me thinks that's driven me to do extra work and prepare more. And that might work when you're starting, but it's a painful way to live your life.

1:06:25It's exhausting later, too. It's exhausting. I mean, I'm so glad you're saying that because don't you feel that way that if I don't, and I would like you to unpack that thing. I want to go back a little bit and stay there for a minute. This idea of working on healing oneself and loving oneself. Man, everybody listen to me. I know leveraging the dark side is a common thing. And it does work. And you should do it. and there's a great space for it for a while. For a while. But if it's the only thing that moves you, don't you agree? It's just eventually miserable. It's exhausting after a while. It's exhausting, right?

1:06:58And I think, you know, we all have our own hero's journey to fall on that dark side, you know, early to push us. It's the driver to overcome something. Yes. But I think we've got to learn how to mend and heal at some point. Otherwise, it's going to constantly be exhausting and feel I'm not enough or this is, I'm always fighting something. Yeah. I'm always trying to fight. And that was most of my life was a fight. Everything was a fight. Me too. Relationship, competition, sports, business. It's all like a fight. Fight. And it's exhausting. But you end up not winning. Never. Never. And the people around you don't win either.

1:07:30So it's a lose-lose battle. And there might feel like there's certain moments of success, but it's a lose-lose. And so my emotional coach, I started this journey two years ago with her. And I've been healing, doing different healing modalities for 10 years. Ten years ago, I opened up about sexual abuse for the first time. It was about four months after I launched my podcast, right? So it's almost been 10 years since I started talking about that process. And I thought, man, okay, that took about two years to go through a process of healing that and talking about it in a safe environment where I felt like I can speak about this and it no longer triggers me or affects me or has power over me.

1:08:11Like I healed that memory and that wound. Now, it didn't mean I, but what I didn't, and I thought I was good. Because I was like, okay, this is the main wound. But there's other stuff that I wasn't effacing. And that's why I kept repeating patterns and relationships and intimacy and thinking, oh, I thought I healed this. But healing is not a one-time event. Healing is a journey. And it's a constant process. You're in progress, right? You're better than you were before. And I feel like I'm going to be healing for the rest of my life. Me too. And constantly holding myself accountable. Because as you know, I'm sure things get you triggered from time to time.

1:08:48And you feel like, oh, this person did this and I don't like it. And there's a reaction. I think that's our normal competitive edge where it's like, I'm going to come back. I'm going to come at you. And that energy will fuel us to get results, but will not fuel us to get fulfillment. And so I've learned how to manage that energy. And I still get triggered and reactive and all these things. I'm not like this perfect human. but I do emotional coaching every two weeks to get me back to a place of peace. So it just helps me integrate the lessons I'm learning, reflect on, oh, I went back into that place of pain.

1:09:23Let me keep integrating and keep healing. And just the more I practice it like anything, the better it gets. It's so apparent because you give off an energy now that's really loving and kind. Like Lewis does this thing when he hugs you. First off, he just swallows you up because he's massive. But he does this thing where he holds you a little bit longer than might be comfortable for you initially. And then you're like, this actually feels really good. Yeah. Well, some people don't like it, but I also just keep doing it anyways. I know exactly why you do it. And you're 100 % right if we're just talking as brothers here.

1:09:53You can fix, you can think you've healed something, but if you haven't changed the patterns in which you live your life. Like, for example, when my dad got sober, he fixed the issue with drinking alcohol. but he still had what they call like the alcoholic's personality. Of course. Right? Very obsessive. Went to anger quickly. Yeah. You know, would remove himself emotionally from situations. Didn't listen. Didn't pay attention very well. So the pattern stayed the same. He wasn't doing the drinking, but he was still the personality. That's exactly right. And I think that's an evaluation for everybody.

1:10:25And by the way, I think Lewis and I would both tell you, there's a place to leverage a dark side. A hundred percent. A light that's just light all the time. And sometimes a little bit of the dark side makes the light side even brighter. But we're both telling you, you get to another side of this stuff and you have to bring you with you eventually. Exactly. And our mutual friend, Dr. Joe Dispenza, says your personality becomes your personal reality. And so if you haven't, again, mended your personality that is fractured and causes you to be triggered or reactive or angry or lash out or closed down or hold your heart back, then you're going to keep bringing that personal reality into your life.

1:11:02And so we've got to mend the things that caused us to have a certain personality that doesn't serve us or the people around us. So good. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the show. This week, plot twist. We're turning the tables on me. And I'm being interviewed by my dear friend, Jamie Kern Lima, about my new book, The Power of One More. And I say some things in this interview that I've never said before publicly or privately in my life.

1:11:36It was a deeply emotional, very revealing interview for me. And I'm sure that it will be for you as well. So enjoy. God bless you. So you said this quote, you have it within you. I'm no different than you. I wasn't born with some magic gene that you don't have. I just wanted to win so bad that I didn't allow anyone or anything to steal my dreams. procrastination is a thief and fear is a liar. So first question on that is growing up, what were your greatest fears? I had so many. It's really weird as you're asking that, I was starting to actually get emotional

1:12:23because I was picturing me as a little guy and it's just dawning on me how scared I always was, you know?

1:12:39All the time. So I was afraid my dad was gonna leave.

1:12:50I was afraid he's gonna get hurt or killed or hurt us sometimes. times. And those, those, the, the idea of fear was around me all the time. So just going to school afraid I'd embarrass myself. No one would know this because I had this pretty good mask I could kind of put on where, I don't know why it makes me so, I mean, it's bizarre right now. It's just, if I'm being really, what I'm thinking right now, let me tell you what I'm thinking. I'm actually thinking I still am. I'm actually thinking I still am. So, and I don't know that, yeah, I was afraid of everything. So I was afraid of being a failure.

1:13:36I was afraid of letting people down. I was afraid my family wasn't going to exist. I was afraid of, afraid people would figure out who I was and that I wasn't that special, figure out how average I was. When I even had success, like when I played baseball, I'd have this fear that I was, it was a fluke. I still have a lot of that to this day where I'm like, it's a fluke. They're going to figure me out eventually. They're going to figure out I'm not that big of a deal. So I think that now I will say that I think those of you that are like, wow, relating to that a little bit, I think not all emotions are negative or positive.

1:14:12Some fear is healthy. Some fear causes us to focus. Some fear causes us to make our best effort, right? We were We're given fear back in the caveman days so that T-Rex didn't eat us, right? So there's some fear, but to be riddled with it all the time. And I think I'm still a little bit of that guy. I think I still have a lot of it. So I had lots of fear. I had a lot of chaos. I realized as I got older, I, and by the way, we, I talk about in the book that you have an emotional home, that you have these three or four or five emotions you get on a really regular basis. And it's just the reason I get emotional talking about it right now.

1:14:47I've never said what I just said out loud ever, not to my wife, not to you, not to anybody, not to myself, is that even though I've worked really hard on taking an inventory of what emotions I want, I want peace, I want joy, I want ecstasy, I want happiness, and I've really got a lot of those. Like I really have intentionally given myself the gift of those emotions. The one that I've not riddled myself, ridded myself of regularly is fear. I'm still afraid. I'm afraid the book's not going to be successful. I'm afraid my podcast isn't going to do well. I'm afraid my speech isn't going to go well.

1:15:22And so the truth is I still have a lot of that. And that's a good thing at 51 years old to say, hey, there's still room for me to improve. There's still things I got to work on. And I don't want anybody that follows my stuff all the time or me to think, oh, he's got every single thing figured out. The truth is, as I'm talking to you, I'm realizing even a little bit more and not realize I was going to say this at all today. But that's still a thing I got to really address is fear. Do you have a fear right now that if you lose your fear, you'll lose your edge? Yes. You're so brilliant. Yes. We have these things that we do in life that we think are why we're successful.

1:16:00Now, I'm consciously, I know that too. Like, I know that I used to think my intensity, almost my temper when I was young in business. I thought, hey, you take away my temper, you know, because I'm winning with my temper. right? So you take that away. I'm not going to win. The truth is I was winning in spite of my temper. I was winning in spite of my lack of emotional control, but this fear dude's been with me since I can remember. This fear is my friend. This fear is like my closest companion, right? And so to let go of that guy is, uh, makes me fearful is to do it. And I think sometimes what you think when you have that thing is you think, I'm just talking from my perspective, I can manage it.

1:16:42I'll manage it. And maybe I do manage it sometimes. Okay. But I shouldn't be as afraid as I am. I don't need to be afraid, you know, and I still have a huge amount of it. So yeah, I do have this thing. Like if I let that go, I wonder what my mechanism to achieve is. Like what's the driver now? If I'm not afraid of anything, then am I just gonna start laying around and doing something, doing nothing, you know? So I do have an element of that. And I actually have tools for this in the book that I should give myself the gift of using. So it's a great question. Yeah, you do. And I'm wondering, just hearing you talk about this, there's a famous quote by the rapper 50 Cent that says either pray or worry, but don't do both.

1:17:26I'm wondering too, in your journey of fear, being an emotional home for you to use your reference. Is this part of your spiritual journey to learn that it's not all on you? Yes. And when I'm good, that's what I've told you this too. When I'm really feeling like I'm in my calling or doing something I'm at my best is when I am in that state. I also think it's probably why I do pray so often. I wonder if sometimes I'm praying to rid that monster that's like sitting there all the time. It's why I am such a praying person. And yes, certainly like consciously I know that it's not me anyway. Consciously I know that I'm being protected.

1:18:11But I'll share something really personal. Like I feel like I'm talking to you. I forget that it's my show. But it just dawned on me as you were saying that I pray for protection and comfort every day. So my prayers evolve about different things I'm working on, but one that never leaves me is that, that, you know, Lord, let your will be done and allow me to surrender to your will and protect me. And my dad used to before games when I would play, my dad would never we would never pray that I'd get three hits in a game. My dad would always say, just pray that God protects you, protects everybody else, and that you get to play to the best of your ability.

1:18:55And if that's enough, great, and if it's not, great. And that prayer would always really comfort me before events. And I still do that before we do this, or before I speak, or I have a big meeting or anything. I always just pray that same exact prayer. I don't know why it makes me so emotional, but I just pray that exact same prayer, that your will be done, and I just do the best that you can have me do. And if that's enough, great. that's okay so very short intermission here folks I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify links are in the show notes now on to our next guest all right everybody my guest today 13 years ago today was sentenced to essentially life in prison 13 years ago today and then he finds himself sitting across from me 13 years later having completely transformed his life and has become one of the great speakers on planet earth one of the great influencers on planet earth and has become dear friends with many of my best friends and it's one of the most remarkable stories you are ever going to hear in your damn life so get ready strap in and here is damon west damon welcome to the show brother someone's listening to this they're like hey man i've been living in my own little prison maybe i'm carrying some stuff I'm ashamed of or I'm embarrassed by or I've just ever always been invisible you know but you got me inspired right now Damon West Ned Milet I want to do something I want to leave this prison of my mind and I want to do something great with my life and this may be a very basic question but I think it's an important one where do I begin what would your advice be if I met you at a Starbucks right now and I said hey I heard you on my let show oh my gosh I wish he would have asked you at the end though what do I do next what would your answer be to that I'm going to give you a story with this answer.

1:20:41Okay. And the answer is you have to surrender this idea of control in your life. You don't control the things you think you control. To illustrate this, I'm going to tell you one last prison story. People love prison stories. So when I first got into my program recovery, I go to a meeting, Ray is in there and we start these meetings off with this beautiful prayer called the serenity prayer. You've talked about it many times, Ed. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. And so Ray says to me, he says to the group, we're going to diagram the serenity prayer today.

1:21:15All right. All right. So he's got a chalkboard behind him. He draws a line from one side of the chalkboard to the other. And he says the first part of the prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. He said, Damon, the things you cannot change are on God's line. He said that God's line is represented on that chalkboard, but it's bigger than the chalkboard. It goes from one horizon universe to the next. That's how big God's line is. And he said, every time you try to touch something on God's line, you've hurt yourself and you've hurt other people because you are not God and God doesn't need your help to do his job.

1:21:45He said, stay off of God's line. Then he goes up to the board. He erases an inch off the big line on the board and he holds his fingers up to the room about an inch apart for everybody to see. He says the second part of the prayer, the courage to change the things I can. He said, the things you can change, Damon, are on your line. You get one inch of that big line. That's it. That's the scale, too. He said that one inch line is called humility because he said humility is being right-sized. And when we are right-sized, then we can be useful to other people, which is the secret to life to serve other people.

1:22:17He said, and on your little one inch humble line that God gives you are the four things you control in life. He said, God gives you four things on your little line. These are the four things you have control over. He said, they are exactly what you think, what you say, what you feel, and most importantly, everybody's going to see what you do, your actions, what you think, what you say, what you feel, and what you do. He said, and what I'm telling you is the world around you, you have no control over the world around you. You control the world within you, between your ears. And he said, the last part of the line was the most, the last part of the prayer was the most important for us addicts and everybody else.

1:22:54Not, you don't have to be an for this to be important to you is the wisdom to know the difference between the big line and the little line. And there's a chapter in my book called not on my line. Do you know how many times a day I tell myself that's not on my line and I've been sober and I've been out of prison for years, but I remind myself every day that's not on my line. Now that's what I would tell people when you want, you want to have the serenity, you've got to give up this thing. You think this control of these things you don't have control over and then turn your life over to service.

1:23:21And Ed, every single morning I wake up and I say the same prayer, whatever religion you are, You can apply this to your faith. I get in the morning and I say, hey, I ask God for two things. I say, hey, God, put in front of me what you need me to do today for you. And let me recognize that when I see it, because I don't want to miss that. Amen. Bro, that's it. I just want you to know that you met the moment today, brother, in a way that I'm so happy. I'm so happy for you. I'm just sitting here going, God is so good. Like how he's using you. Guys, like, this is exactly why I started this show, is what we just did right now.

1:24:01Actually, what you just did right now, and what God just did through you. That was a great conversation. Be sure to follow the Ed Milet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Welcome back to the program, everybody. Today is a special day for me. Like, it's a surreal day, because not only is the man to my left, a Major League Baseball Hall of Famer, He's got 3 ,000 hits. He had 388 one year. He's one of the all-time greats in Major League Baseball, but he's been one of the all-time most influential people in my life as a young man. He became a mentor to me.

1:24:33I haven't seen him in decades, and now he's in my living room on my show, which is just going to be an incredible experience. We're going to talk about his amazing life. This will be one of those shows where if you're driving, you're going to pull over because you're going to lose your breath a few times about this man's life story, what he's learned, his lessons, and the incredible experience and journey that his life has been. So everybody, this is Hall of Famer Rod Carew. Rod, thank you for being here, brother. Thanks for having me. One other thing I've always wanted to ask you, that baseball is a different sport, and people that aren't fans of every sport, maybe this nuance isn't obvious to you, but like football, they're going to play 16, 18 games now.

1:25:12There's a game on a Sunday. We all work towards that Sunday. There's an event, we have it, then there's the playoffs. most sports are that way. Baseball is a grind. You're playing 162 games in a very short window of time and there's a grind. You have to maintain an emotional level of control throughout a season and most people, a lot of big league players even struggle with that. How did you maintain emotional control through slumps, through ups and downs, through a full season and then through a career as long as yours as well? Well, you know, to me, it wasn't a job. To me, it was just a little boys game, like Campanella said.

1:25:51Little boys, baseball is a game little boys play. I never can tell you that I've gone through a slump where it has kind of knocked me off my heels and pushed me back because i remember i was over the longest streak i think i had as a hitter i was 0 for 17. that was your longest slum yeah the longest four games so i hate you so the 18th time okay i dropped the button down for a base hit made an adjustment i hit a high chopper didn't leave the infield for a base hit I dropped another bun down for a base hit and I had another high chopper for a base hit not one of those balls left the infield but while I was going through this 0 for 17 I was hitting line drives and they were going right at somebody yeah and great lesson guy says how do you do that this is well you know I worked on my bunting so if I'm not getting hits swinging the bat I'm going to the next dimension I love that I think there's a lesson there Rod and I always go back to like okay how does this apply to other things and that it's true in business we're always trying to hit these big home runs and if you feel like things are slipping just get some base hits get a sale get an account get some momentum get in early make extra phone calls do the extra email just lay the bunt down yeah get some momentum going because sometimes the slump you're in in business you're hitting line drives It's just not the time, right?

1:27:26It's just timing. It's just things are it's not always you're doing something wrong Maybe it's just bad timing right now Keep making adjustments, etc. And you know the the difference About me and other players is I had the sixth tool Which was you know, they always say you have the five tools. The sixth tool was this your mind I never let my mind get me in trouble. I stayed positive all all the way I knew, yeah, I'm going to make outs. You know, this is a game that three out of ten and you're successful. Yeah. You know, so I'm not going to worry about days that I don't get a hit. You know, like some guys, all of a sudden it's panic.

1:28:13You're right. You know, they panic. What am I doing wrong? Do you see something? No, you're just hitting the ball good, but you're hitting it right at somebody. Do you think the mental part of your game was the separator for you? Oh, yes, definitely. And I tell kids that today. I say, this is the most important tool. You can do everything else, but if you can't control what's going on up here, things are going to be tough. One million percent. By the way, those of you listening to audio, he's pointing at his head, and he's talking about how important the mental part of the game is, maintaining emotional control, not stacking worries and thoughts that get bigger than they need to be.

1:28:51it's amazing to me I work with a lot of athletes on their mental game and people will ask me you know what are you really working with them when you're if it's a UFC fighter or a boxer or a golfer and I'll tell them often the main thing we work on is their confidence people say to me there's no way confidence at that level of play yes confidence at that level of play is even fragile for many athletes as well is that not true you're in dugouts with guys all the time oh geez yeah yeah and i listen to them talk it says hey dude he's pointing at his point to my head you know yeah 100 the mental side of the game i want to ask you about the hardest part i think probably of your life and i could be wrong but speaking about mental toughness which is so guys this man goes through this heart transplant he ends up getting the heart from a child he was kind to it's just bananas if he's on the second hole he's gone he reverts back to the guardian angels of Michelle and at the time when Michelle was struggling with leukemia it became another national story.

1:29:49This was not some secret thing. This was something that I was following that people all across the world you were getting letters and mail and all these other things. I have to think that during that time your mental emotional control was tested the most then. This is not a major league baseball game. This is your little girl struggling and dying and I'm sure in a great deal of pain and I don't want to be too personal about it but there are people right now listening to this that are going through their form of tragedy a business failure a divorce an illness in their family I just lost my dad recently what was that time like for you and what would the lessons and takeaways that you took from it it was easy for me because she brought me into her fold you know she knew I didn't talk to the press much and she knew that it's going to be stretching the limit for me to be talking to a radio person or a writer or somebody about what she's she's going through but when I was checking her into children's hospital in Orange County all these kids were there were like 10 kids out in the hallway, kicking soccer balls, they have their poles, and they're kicking soccer balls, and some of them are wiffle bats and all this stuff.

1:31:11And she just walks up to me and she taps me on my shoulder and she says, Daddy, you've got to start talking to the press. See all these kids? Maybe we can save some of their lives. So she came to me and told me. And I says, okay, honey, I promise you that from today on until the day I die, I will give my full efforts towards helping kids. And she says, you promise me? I says, I promise you. My gosh. You know, because I never spoke to the press that much. I know. You know, I kind of stayed away from them. And when she asked me to do that, I said, I will. I promise you I will. You know, and for all the time she spent in the hospital, I remember that first day when she found out that she had leukemia, when the doctor told her.

1:32:10And she says, well, what do we do? The doctor said, oh, try and clean it up and make you better. She says, okay, let's go. Didn't cry. Nothing. not for the time that she was in the hospital she did not cry one single day not one single day you know and the the week that she died I went down to the chapel and I asked God to take her you did I says father please take her she's suffering and I don't want her to suffer anymore so would you take her and put her in your in your garden you know and he gave us another week with her and then we found a four out of five cord blood that we were going to use to instead of the marrow she could couldn't find any anyone with a marrow to save her life and when she was walking in that room.

1:33:13She said, Dad, I know that I'm not coming out of there alive. She said, come on. God's going to be with you. She said, Dad, I'm not coming out of there alive, and I know that God's going to be with me, so I'm not going to worry. Here's a 19-year-old kid talking to me like that, to her dad, and I'm like, you're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. But she knew when she went in that room, she knew she was going to die. You know, just like you knew you weren't. Yes. When you had your heart attack. Yeah. What an amazing story. You just honored her so well with your life because you've done guys.

1:33:57If you just do a simple Google search, you'll see all the tireless thousands of hours Raj put into doing things for children and how you've honored her, you know, little one on one things, things at the stadium, like you were talking about. The thing you were doing the night before your heart attack was an extension of the promise that you made to her in the hospital. And you know, it's funny. I remember driving down the five freeway. I had gone to Washington and spoke in front of Congress about raising funds for the NIH, you know, and then got a call. My my agent called me and he says guess what they just passed a 50 million dollar bill for the kids that's crazy and i opened my sunroof i says honey thanks so much we did it again you know and um that's the way it was and even today some nights you know i'm i'm sitting at home and i don't don't have anything to do i get in my car i go for a drive and says pish how are you doing i used to call her Pish.

1:35:05How you doing? I'm hanging in there and I talk to her. You know, yeah, I do it many nights, you know, and it makes me feel good, you know, and I'm sure she's saying, I'm proud of you, dad. I'm proud of you. I'm sure she's doing what you're doing. We're doing it right now. Yeah. I'm proud of you. Well, thank you. Thank you so much. You changed my life.

1:35:47Outro Music