Is Your Will to Win For Sale?

0:28So, hey, guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now?

0:33This is The Ed Myron Show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So today I've got a really difficult question for you. Is your will to win for sale? You know, I really believe that of all the things that comes down to in life about winning and making our lives the masterpiece that we want them to be, I really believe will has a lot to do with it. And the people that I've been around in my life, they have strong faith, obviously. But there's a part of them that has this will to win, this will to want to be somebody that's extraordinary. And for most people in life, I think when they take enough failure, enough setbacks, they will sell their will to win.

1:14You know, it's an interesting thing in life about winning. I just want to discuss this with you today. You know, you have to really decide right now and early on in the journey that you can't be bought. You can't be bought with enough success and you can't be bought with enough failure. Most people at the end of the day quit on their dreams, usually because there's just so much rejection and so much failure and so much letdown. You know, I would love to tell you that winning is pretty and that making your dreams come true for your family is beautiful. But man, I got to tell you on the journey for me, there was so many setbacks.

1:51So many times I thought I had it going and then I didn't. I thought we were going to make it and then maybe we weren't. So many people that I thought would be there at the end that weren't. There were people like you probably have had in your life that you really, really trusted that then let you down and hurt you. Dark nights, sleepless nights, some really difficult mornings with a lot of anxiety and trepidation. You know, if you're going to win, you're going to carry the emotional burden of your business, of your family. And sometimes that burden emotionally just over time is so difficult to carry that most people will surrender their will.

2:28You know, I really believe that winning has a lot to do with your will to win. It's not always just, you know, having the right strategy or the right people in place, although you can't win without them. But at some point, it comes down to grit and desire and toughness and resiliency and relentlessness. And I call all of those things will. But for most people with enough of it, enough setbacks, enough things, they'll just sell their family's dreams up the river. They'll call it something else, don't they? Well, I didn't get along with somebody or there was this setback or the economy changed or this person screwed me over or whatever the story is that we come up with, all which could be valid.

3:05But at some point, basically what you're saying is all of that was too much. And so I've sold my family's dreams up the river. And I say it to you that harshly because I want when it comes for you, for you to avoid it that strongly. That I won't let you create a word game that makes you feel like it's okay to take an out, you know, take the door in the back there and get out of here and quit on your dream. That's not what you were born to do. That's not what it was designed for. Part of the game of this winning thing, part of the game of changing your family forever, part of the game of changing how you feel about yourself is really difficult.

3:39And it's going to come with all of those things I described and more and shocking setbacks. Every couple, two or three years is going to be a day where you go, my gosh, right? Like that's going to happen. And for most people at one point, they just go, that's enough. That's enough. And that's why so few people win because theirs is for sale. See, what I would recommend you do is negotiate the price tag in advance. See, I believe the price you will pay to make your dream come true, your vision for your life come true, is infinitely less than the price you will pay if you don't. The price you pay if you don't make your dream happen your vision for your life is you live with that forever And that price I would never be willing to pay I'll pay any other price as long as it's legal ethical and moral because the price you will pay to make that dream come true Is so worth it and it is so much less than the price of living with losing Forever with the life you don't deserve with the people that you don't want around you with the all of your music still in you So many people pass away with all their best music in them still because of the setbacks or the criticisms or the things that just didn't go their way or their fears holding them back.

4:52You know, price tags of life are interesting. See, successful people negotiate worth whether something is worth it, not what the price is or the expense is. If you're focused on the expense, you're always in a really difficult place. I'll give you an example. This is a metaphor, but it makes sense. when I had no money, right, which was most of my life, when I would walk into a store, I wouldn't get what I wanted in the store. I would get what I thought I could afford. And so what did I do? I flipped the price tags over. I didn't always just get what I wanted. What's the cost? What's the cost? What's the cost?

5:29What's the cost? I'm sure you've done that as well. It's just really one of the real things in life. What's it cost? I wouldn't get the jacket in there I wanted based on what it cost. So that's a scarcity mindset, right? And so instead, when I became a wealthy person, I'm able to walk in that store and get the one that's worth it. What's the one worth it? And in our lives, when we're operating from a weak position, we're operating from a poverty mindset. We're constantly negotiating the price tag of like, what's it going to cost me? What's it going to cost me? What's it going to cost me? And we focus so much on what it's costing us, the pain we're going through, the price we're paying.

6:02We're constantly focus on the price we're paying that eventually we just go, I can't do it. The cost is too great. If you're focused on the cost, you'll eventually lose because the cost is so extraordinary. But if you switch that subtly and say, is it worth the price? Is it worth it? You focus more off the cost and onto its worth, then you got it. And so let me ask you, what's your family worth? What are your dreams worth? What's the pride of living the life that you've dreamed of worth to you? And once you focus on the worth, you'll probably pay any price. You'll go through any cost. But you have to negotiate, in my opinion, that price in advance.

6:48I think if you wait till you're in the middle of it, you're in big trouble. And so I would challenge you today to negotiate the price you're willing to pay in advance, whatever it is. And then the negotiation is over. so decide now what price you're willing to pay or not pay for your family and just be honest about it there's a certain place where i'm going to sell my family's dreams up the river you know what i'm just going to give up and that's what most people do in life they like i said they call it something else they frame it differently they create a story that makes them feel okay about it by the way the only reason i know this is i've done it myself on several different things this guy screwed me over here that one let me down ah you know timing wasn't right right whatever the bottom line is is that the price became too great for me.

7:30Had I negotiated that price in advance, maybe that would have never happened. So if you focus on what it's costing you all the time, which is what you're doing and you know it's costing me this time, it's costing me this money, it's costing me this experience, it's costing me this, it's costing me that, you're probably going to lose. But if you start to focus on is it worth it, is the price I'm paying worth it, then you got it. Why does that also matter? Negotiating the price as you're going through the battle in life takes all your energy and your focus. Isn't it constantly a drain on you? Is it worth it?

8:03Is it worth it? You're asking yourself this all the time. How do I know? It's what most people do that are trying to do something great. Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Right? What's it costing me? What's it costing me? You're constantly negotiating. It takes all your energy. It takes all your focus. And so the bottom line is it's better to just to decide today. And I would just ask you, what's your family worth? What are your dreams worth? What's your life worth? What price are you not willing to pay? Hopefully you don't want to do something illegal or unethical or immoral to do it.

8:31But beyond that, what's the price you're willing to pay and get clear on it and then just stop negotiating it. Stop doing that thing back and forth, those mental gymnastics that you know exactly what I'm talking about and just decide I'm going to win. I'm going to pursue this. Whatever comes my way, I've already negotiated in advance. So although it might be shocking or really painful, I already negotiated that price. I already negotiated it. One of the cool things for me, like in my faith is I know the price has already been negotiated for me, right? Like it's already been negotiated. I didn't have to do it.

9:02Remember this change only happens when love is greater than your fear. When love is greater than you price you're paying. What I believe you have to do is you have to start to attach yourself to the love you have for other people. That love, because you're such a good person is so much greater than the adversity that will come your way. But what happens when adversity comes, we detach from our love for our family, for ourselves, from the people that we want to help. And the love part gets diminished and the fear and pain part gets increased. See, you show me anybody with a big old dream with enough reasons to win, and I will show you somebody who's going to win.

9:39I believe more than anything in life, having big, giant, compelling reasons why you want to win. The why is so much greater than the how or the what. The why is. And relentlessly focusing on that. When the why is big enough, you'll go through the how and you'll figure out the what. But in most cases in life, we don't attach those two things. People say to me all the time, I'm not even sure what will motivate me. I can tell you. Do you want to know the two things that will motivate you in your life? I'm going to give them to you right now. You always go, I lack motivation. I lack inspiration. I can tell you what they are.

10:13They're your dreams or other people. Those are the two great motivators in life. Usually most good people won't do very much stuff for themselves. They just won't. They're too giving. They want to change other people's lives. They love other people. They put other people first. Those are the people that ultimately win long term. So the two things that will motivate you are your dreams, what your vision is for your life, and other people. Those of you that have children, are you really willing to quit on them? Are you? if you have parents that you love, are you really willing to quit on them? Or do you love them more than any adversity that will come your way?

10:47Could you negotiate the price in advance? Say, listen, it's worth it because my mom is worth it. It's worth it because my children are worth it. It's worth it because my God is worth it. It's worth it because I'm worth it. It's worth it because my dream is worth it. It's worth it because if I make this happen, I can change all these other people's lives and those lives are worth the price I'm paying. Once you have the thing and the reason the love for what you want, now you've got the negotiation handled because that is greater than the price. But when this isn't focused on, when the price is greater than the love, when it's greater than the dream, it's difficult.

11:24So one of the examples of that that I've talked about before is Bella's wedding day. Number one key from Bella's wedding day story from many years ago, 20 years ago, why matters most. You show me somebody with a big enough why, a big enough reason, I will show you somebody who will solve for how to do it, for what to do. I will promise you that. Why is the most important thing? You give a father a story like not being there and the picture, the mental picture in my mind of some strange man that I've never met before having that first dance and walking Bella down the aisle on her wedding day, I'll do anything to make sure that doesn't happen.

12:02I'll do anything to be there. And I can tell you I've done just about anything. In fact, my doctors that I'm with right now, part of that journey of staying healthy where I found both of them, Gabrielle and Amy, is because I want to be there on that day and beyond. One of the reasons I'm willing to take this sort of downshift to some extent is, yes, I'd love to help more people. And yes, I'm going to contribute. And yes, we've got one of the number one podcasts in the world. And I'm one of the top speakers and my businesses are growing and all that matters. And I want to help all kinds. I want to continue to help millions of people that I've been blessed to help, but not more than I want to be there for Bella's wedding day.

12:38And so number one key is why matters most. And if you say, I don't know what my why is, I can tell you, let me give you a hack to find your why. Your why will always be your dreams, whatever your dreams are, or other people. Whys can be distilled down always into dreams or other people, doing something for other people that you love or proving people wrong. And what I will tell you under the why is that love is the biggest force in the world.

13:07My will to win is not for sale. So that's why I get up and I work out. That's why I try to do the nutritional program. That's why I'm taking this break from social media and reducing my travel schedule because my dream is to be at Bella's wedding day. And my will to win is not for sale on that. I've got to be there. There's no negotiation for me. It's get up and work out. It's make sure you take the right nutritional supplements. It's the doctors say, slow down, Ed, and take a break for a while, I do it. There's no negotiation because I belong in that dream. I belong there with Bella on her wedding day.

13:37And I like to get to the heart of it, guys. I think the more we water down the reason, the easier it is to have the price take us out. Listen, as I've been doing this video or audio with you, thousands of people quit on their dreams. Thousands of people quit on their vision. Every single day, thousands and thousands of people quit on something. And the reason they quit is the price got too great. And by the way, that's okay as long as you've already done the negotiation. But I have a feeling that if I asked you again really closely, how much, if your parents are still here, do you want to make them proud of you or take care of them?

14:14How about your children or your spouse, these people that you love the most? Maybe it's none of them. Maybe you have a grandparent who that when you were a little boy or a little girl really believed in you, really saw greatness in you, and you want to honor them and make them proud of you as they've gone to heaven and they're looking down on you and you want to make sure that you really prove them right, right? I won't let you not focus on that today because if I can get you focused on these people you love or these great visions for your life, I think that that is greater than the price you'll pay.

14:49And so I want to ask you that today one more time. Are you willing to quit on them? Are you willing to give in? Really, the only way you can lose in this life is to quit. Only way you can lose is to quit. Now, that doesn't mean you shouldn't pivot, innovate, course correct. That's not quitting. That's the pursuit of something and saying, listen, what I'm doing isn't working. The definition of insanity is do the same thing over and over again. Expect a different result. I've got to innovate. I've got to pivot. I've got to get a different strategy. Clearly, I think you should be doing that. That's what my show is all about is about strategy and innovation and progress.

15:21But the truth of the matter is most people aren't totally committed to their dreams. They're not. They're going to stick their toe in it. I'll stick my toe in it as long as it's not too painful, doesn't get too difficult, too uncomfortable, take too much from me, be too inconvenient, then I'll pursue it. But if it gets too inconvenient, too difficult, too uncomfortable, I'll give in. Let me give you a secret. People ask me all the time about the people that have been on my show that are some of the greatest achievers in life, what do they have in common? And I'm going to be candid with you. Here's what they have in common.

15:52They don't have it all figured out. I don't have it all figured out. Most everybody, frankly, is pretty screwed up to some extent or another, and we're all just trying to get through this life and figure it out. What they also have in common is they didn't quit on their dreams. And the reason they didn't quit on their dreams is their love of their dream, their love of other people was greater than their fears for their inadequacies. but I can tell you that we all feel inadequate. We all don't feel prepared. We're all sort of faking it to some extent, aren't we, in our lives? And I know that shocks most people, but I think it should give you hope.

16:24They don't have it all figured out. I don't have it all figured out. But what I have figured out is that I'm willing to go into situations I'm ill-prepared for because I want to win for the people I love so much. I want to win for me. I want to win for God. I want to do something great with my life. And so although I don't have it figured out completely. I don't have all the answers and neither does anybody that's been on my show. Anybody you've seen on this show as my guest, most of them don't have the vast majority of it figured out, but they're better at pretending they do. And to the extent that they are good at stepping into spaces they aren't prepared for, but that they can kind of pretend they're prepared for.

17:00They got this belief in themselves that if I can get in the room, I will figure it out from there. You know, if you had to know everything required to win in life, the truth of the matter is you probably would never get started. If Henry Ford started Ford Motor Company and said, I have to know everything for the next hundred years for this company, he would have never got started. I mean, who's supposed to repair these cars? There's nowhere to repair them because there's no dealerships yet. There's no mechanics. What about all the stuff for the tires? How are we going to fix these things? Where are they all going to get fuel from?

17:31What are we going to do when there's emission standards? These things didn't even exist then. He couldn't think through every logical problem. He had to just get started. If Steve Jobs and Wozniak, when they started Apple, which was basically a board company, would have thought about, well, what do the internet comes? What about this iPhone phone software? What about the Mac? What about, well, they could never think about all of those things. Things evolve. You just get into the next room and you evolve, right? You get into the next space and you evolve. So you don't have to know everything. By the way, no one you see that's successful knows everything, but they do have this ability that when they get in the room.

18:05They're not negotiating the price anymore. They're negotiating their way into the next room. They're negotiating their way to the next level. They're willing to take the heat and the adversity. And then the other thing is this, you got to resell yourself regularly on the dream. You know, once you have a dream and you know what I'm talking about, some of you are years into years, right? Maybe you just got to resell yourself on the dream. What it's going to mean when you get there, what it's going to look like, how amazing it's going to be Project into the future. Listen, an idle mind really really is in pain.

18:34It's in jeopardy But a mind who's saying i'm fully focused in the present, but man the future looks so bright The future is amazing. It's going to be incredible when we get there. Everything's going to be different We're going to have great change. Our family's never going to be the same We're going to get to go to this vacation and see this thing and help that many people and feel that emotion and have that memory The truth of the matter is that your dreams in your life are not a hallucination I believe they're a gift from God that is a glimpse into what's possible. It's like a possibility projection for your life is when you look into the future.

19:04Dreaming is free, yet most people don't take advantage of it or they did it once, but they haven't resold themselves the dream again. Maybe you need to go touch your dream. Take a weekend somewhere where you get clear on this is where we'd love to live or this is what we'd love to drive or this is how I'd love to serve in our church and just take a Wednesday and serve one day in your church and resell yourself. You know, most of life, the truth is, is really selling yourself on things. You're selling yourself something right now. You're selling yourself your worries and your fears, and you're selling yourself the story of how big a trouble you could be in if this doesn't work out.

19:40It's a sales pitch you're doing on yourself, aren't you? It's a story you're telling yourself. There's a narrative that you're starting to speak to yourself. So is the other one. It's reselling yourself on the dream, on the story, on the narrative of where you're going and what it's going to look like. I just feel like in life, a better life is to sell yourself on the future. Sell yourself on how great it's going to be when you get there. Learning to live fully present in the moment. Let me say something. When you're negotiating the price, you're not present. You've projected into the future more pain, more difficulty.

20:16You're not in the present. So if you've negotiated it already and you block that off in your mind you go i've already decided i'll pay that price I've already negotiated that that's already happened for me Then and only then can you sell yourself on where you're going and what it's going to like look like when you get there And when I say resell yourself, i'm a big believer that you need to touch your dreams And so I said this a minute ago, but I want you to understand it You got to sell yourself on stuff. So like for example, like where I ended up living in my life I would take a little vacation there on a weekend for like one night.

20:48I'll never forget this. I wanted to live in Dana Point, Laguna Beach, California, that area. And so when I would have a win in my business, I would go to one night at the Ritz-Carlton and Dana Point, Laguna Beach, just one night there. And I never had been anywhere like that in my entire life. And I had the feeling of driving up to the valet in my not so great car at the time. But I remember just the feeling. It may sound hokey, but given the valet, my keys and Mr. Mylett or are you staying here? Yes, your name. Mylett. Great. You write Mylett. I'll never forget the first time the guy wrote Mylett on the valet tag and he gave it back to me.

21:21I saw my name, Ritz Carlton, Laguna Niguel or Laguna Beach. And then it said Mylett. And I remember putting that in my pocket and I remember walking into the lobby and like the marble floor. I was like, oh my gosh, this is incredible. And I'd watch how other people walked and talked that belonged there because I didn't feel like I belonged there. And then I checked into the hotel. And I remember back in those days, I would go play golf just to be around successful people. And, you know, my wife would go get a massage and lay out at the pool and then we'd have a nice dinner. And I would just touch that dream just for one night, maybe every eight weeks, just one night.

21:59But what started to happen is I started after time, over time going, I belong here. I belong here. I became comfortable in that dream. And our mind moves towards what it's most familiar with. And then I remember the first speech I gave being super uncomfortable. But I remember the more I did it, the more I felt like I belong here. I'm comfortable here. I moved towards what I was familiar with. And it's interesting. The other place that I would go take my mini vacations was to the desert, to the Palm Springs La Quinta area of California. And I would go out to this one resort called the La Quinta Resort.

22:30And I couldn't afford to be there for more than one night, but I'd get a deal on the room, you know, and I would just touch that dream for a night. I remember going, wow, these desert nights are so amazing. And then we'd go out there maybe like three months later, but I would touch that dream three or four times a year. And I would touch the other one. Do you know that later in life for many, many years, those are the two places that I lived. I lived in the, I lived in that area and I lived in the other one. And I really believe it's because I had touched that dream over and over again. Maybe your dream isn't anything like that.

22:58Maybe it's to be full-time in the charity or full-time in your church. Go take a day off and serve and just feel like it. Maybe do that every three or four months if you can and touch the dream because we move towards what we're most familiar with and we get in life what we believe we deserve and where we believe we belong. And so long-term, if you're doing this negotiation thing, you just don't believe you belong there. And at some point, there's going to be enough pain that's going to prove you right. You're going to go, I knew I didn't belong here. I knew this wasn't for me. I knew this was for other people.