It's Separation Season!

0:04This is the Ed Milet Show. I'm excited to be with you today because you get to spend the time with me. No guests this week. You know, more and more people have been requesting that I go back to doing a little bit more of my original content where I'm sharing messages from me with you. And so, you know, every once in a while, we're not going to have a guest on and I'm going to share some thoughts and strategies and ideas with you that I know can serve you. And so what I'm going to talk about today is separation season. Some of you heard me talk about this before, but I'm going to do it in a way that you've never heard about it.

0:33And right now is a time of year where you can really separate yourself. You can separate yourself from other people, your competition, but you can also separate yourself from where you are, from the standards you've set. You can separate yourself from your current position to a new position in your relationships, your money, your body, your business, depending on the area that matters most to you. And so we're going to talk about that. You know, it's difficult when you're competing, if you're an entrepreneur or you're an athlete, if somebody's ahead of you it's difficult to catch them when they're at full speed it just is it's difficult they're in front of you they're running full speed and you're chasing them down it's difficult to catch at those times but where you do catch people is during what I call separation seasons and these are the seasons where some people begin to flinch they get weak they take time off they relax they get casual about their routine maybe they're not as sure about their standards as they once were.

1:27And when they do that, they flinch, bam, you blow their doors off because you keep pushing and separate yourself during that time. You can separate from all kinds of different things. And again, I want to remind you, this isn't just about competing against other people. It's separating yourself from where you currently are, which is what all of you want to do. It's called growing. Growing is separating yourself from your current condition to the next level, whether that's mentally, emotionally, financially, as I've said. And so, but from an entrepreneur standpoint, from a business standpoint, from a family standpoint, nutrition, diet, we're entering the ultimate separation season, which is this window of time in the holidays.

2:02It kind of started around Thanksgiving, but it really begins to accelerate about the second, third week of December when everybody starts taking time off. They start cooling it. They don't show up to work like they did if they're an entrepreneur. They're not really hustling. They start making all these excuses in their mind. Well, clients don't want to meet with me during the holidays so I'm going to take a bunch of time off or everybody eats bad this time of year so that's what I'm going to eat bad or everyone spends money during the holidays that they don't have I'm going to do the same thing and that's when they get weak they flinch and if you can get even more disciplined more focused you can begin to lap people that are in front of you you know here I am nearly 50 years old and I could tell you I've worked hard all my career all my life in different areas but I really get excited during separation seasons and I'm like This is when they're at half speed.

2:48I'm at full speed. I can lap them. If I'm in front of people, I can lap them two or three or four times. And it's also where I've separated myself from the former me. You know, we're coming down to the end of the year. There's just so many days left when you're hearing this at the end of the year. And it's a chance right now to lean in at the finish line in so many areas. But what do most people do if it was full speed sprint all year? This is when they start to jog and slow down. And, you know, I should eat that extra piece of cake. I should do this. And they get off their game. And so today's going to be about separating those of you that are listening to this, to take advantage of this, to get excited, to go, this is when I get them.

3:24This is when I get after it. Right. Because in life, I've said many times in life, we really will never exceed what we believe we're worth. We just never will. And so if you can begin to do things you think other people aren't willing to do, or maybe do things the former you weren't willing to do, you begin to believe that the new you deserves things other people won't get. And the new you deserves to get things the former you didn't get either. And so this is why this season is so critical. And I've stacked up maybe 30 straight separation seasons. There's other ones. There's summertime, right?

3:57There's times like that. And we're going to talk about some of that right now. But right now is the big one. You all know what I'm talking about, right? Everyone gets kind of casual. Everyone slows down. And one day turns into three days, turns into four days. You know, Christmas is a holiday. It's not a holiday month. New Year's Eve is a holiday, not a holiday month or a holiday week. But people keep taking these holiday weeks and holiday months this time of year. And it's when you get them. It's when you get the former you. It's when this new version of you emerges. And so take advantage of this season.

4:28It's the greatest of all seasons. And I can tell you, it's one of the reasons why if I do have some good things going on in my life is I separated during this time. I separated from the old me and I separated from my competition. So let's talk a little bit about what some of those things are. Number one, right now, you know, in business, people are going to start slowing down. Here's the truth. Planning doesn't take that long. You can do planning in a pretty quick window of time, right? You need to get after it. You need to execute. There's 12 months in a year. There's 365 days in most years, right?

4:57But don't go start planning 21 days before the year on a plan you could have done on New Year's Day anyway. You know what I'm talking about. Let's not make any excuses to do that. For you achievers, you want to separate this time of year, but there's a subtle thing that most people don't realize about themselves. If you're not a real competitive achiever type, maybe you're more of a belonger. I want you to hear me very closely because there's a lot of people that fit both descriptions. You like being on the team. You like being a part of a squad. You like being part of a family environment. You're kind of that person who loves to be a part of something, but maybe not lead something.

5:31You have a really hard time doing the work this time of year because unconsciously, subconsciously, listen to me, you don't want to separate. You don't want to pull away from the pack. You love these people that you're around. And so unconsciously and subconsciously, you start slowing down as to not pull away, even though you know these things could pull you away from the pack because you don't want to leave people. You like the people that you're around. You're kind of that person. So if you're that person, you go to evaluate that. Is there some element of you subconsciously or unconsciously who purposely doesn't do the things you know you should be doing to separate?

6:04Because you don't want to separate from where you currently are, and you don't want to separate from the group of people that you're around. And this is something that most people don't process. And so let's talk about some basic places you could separate. Number one, let's talk about your fitness. This is the time of year where people start missing gym days, don't they? Don't they? But you right now are going to make a conscious decision. I don't miss my routine. In fact, I double up on my routine. I'm not going to miss workouts. I'm not going to miss my gym sessions. I'm not going to make any excuses about parties or, or, you know, stay home orders.

6:34Now, if you've got COVID or something like that, obviously you're going to be working out at your home or pushups or some nature like that, but you're not going to use COVID as an excuse not to train or work out. If you can go to a gym, if you live where you can still go to a gym, you're not going to use holidays or parties as a reason not to do that. You're going to let other people miss those workouts. Other people, The former you would have missed this workout. The former you would have made a COVID excuse. The separating you doesn't do that anymore. And that's going to produce a better version of you.

6:59So that's one place you could separate nutrition this time of year. You're going to have all kinds of temptation around you. Aren't you about eating foods you probably normally wouldn't eat? But what do we do? We go, well, it's Christmas. But what if you could not, I'm not saying don't eat the dessert, but could you separate? What if you decided, I'm just going to do it a little bit different than everybody else, because I want to convince me I'm doing things other people aren't willing to do. I'm going to convince me I'm different from the former me and from the people potentially that I want to pass up.

7:25There's two types of people listening to this. One of these, like, I'd really like to change me and get better than the former me. And then there's the other ones you're like, I want to do that. And I want to smoke some people in life and business, too. I'm competitive. Both are OK. But when it comes to eating, let's just say when those desserts present themselves, you know what I'm talking about, right? What if you just ate half the dessert? Maybe you're not so crazy. You don't eat any desserts. You want to enjoy your life. the holidays are eat half the piece of pie it's the same flavor after the first three bites that's what i found out it's the same cake on the fifth bite it was on the third bite so i'll eat three it's the same taste right if it's going to be an unhealthy meal it's going to be you know turkey and stuffing and all that stuff around me if you do that or in some cold enchiladas or whatever it is you're doing tamales around christmas time you know the different foods that we eat in our cultures the italian folks with our lasagnas around the holidays whatever your your your you know, traditions are, could you, it's not that you don't want to eat it because you want to enjoy your life.

8:24What if you just ate half of it, right? What if you were in portion control? That's a way to separate yourself. So it's little things like that. It's when you're at the gym, it's the separation season of doing that one more rep that I talk about the one more exercise. In fact, I have to share with you, I was at the gym today and my gym has moved outdoors here in California, at least fortunate that the one I go to in Orange County, at least they move their equipment outdoors many gyms have just shut down and at the end of my workout I was doing abs I'd done today was a shoulder leg or shoulder ab day for me and I'd done my shoulder workout and exactly what I'd prescribed I did one more rep and one more and all of my different sets because I believe in that mantra of one more doing one more separates me remember that one more right and so but when I was doing my abs I had picked three exercises I was going to do and I'm like wait a minute it's separation season everybody's just doing their normal ab workout i'm going to do one more exercise on my abs for a fourth ab exercise set separation does that improve my abs maybe but it improves the way i look at myself and when i left that gym today i did i did stuff the old me wouldn't do and i did stuff most people working out there aren't women to do i deserve at 49 years old to have the body of my dreams so i'm convincing myself through what i'm separating that i deserve those things i'm not in competition with other 49 year olds but i'm in competition with the 48 year old me.

9:45I want to be more fit. I want to feel stronger. I want to feel more powerful, more flexible, right? More energized than I did. And so these little separator steps, you stack them up, especially in the season when everyone else isn't doing it and it magnifies. So it's important not only to do separation season, because I'm challenging you to do that. It's important to give yourself credit and be intentional about it. When you do it to go, I did it. I did it. And you're stacking that in the bank of changing you. They're deposits you're making. But if you're not aware of deposit, imagine you went to a bank, you made a thousand dollar deposit in the bank, but you didn't get the deposit slip to prove that it was in there.

10:26You didn't do anything to validate the deposit, right? That could be concerning. Well, a lot of people do these separation things, but they don't get the deposit slip. They don't go, I did it. The deposit slip of life is acknowledging and giving yourself credit for doing the things that serve you that the old you wouldn't do or other people wouldn't do. So it's not enough just to do it. You have to be intentional about giving yourself a deposit slip, the credit that's required. That's what begins to change our identity. That's what begins to change our subconscious and unconscious mind. And eventually even our conscious thoughts.

10:57How about having some separation moments this year with your family? How do you separate your family? How about some separation moments? What could you do this holiday season? That's a moment that you've never had before. Think about how can I separate my family from every other holiday we've had? How can we separate from the average ordinary families? What could we do this year? You know, many of you have been DMing, say this is the first year ever I'm going to go down and I'm going to feed the homeless this year. And I want to take my children there. What an amazing way to separate this holiday from all the other ones.

11:27If you've never done that before, maybe your separations, you're going to go back to church. You haven't been to church in a long time. Maybe you can't physically go. So you're going to do it online. Maybe it's this holiday season. You're going to decide, Hey guys, guys, this is corny, but we're going to take a walk. Or this may sound silly, but I know how we don't always eat together every night, but for the next week, we're going to have dinner together every night at the dinner table. These things may seem very simple, but I ask yourself right now, what could I do to have some sort of separation season during this holiday season for my family that makes it better and different in a very difficult time that may cost no money that I could do if I were innovative and creative that would make this the separation of all holiday seasons for my family.

12:09I want you to begin to think about how you could separate that separation moments. I think if you begin to process this stuff of I'm going to separate in every area I can, I think you're going to find something very special happening. Friday afternoons, the productivity level on all the studies for entrepreneurs and employees, and even in school with students and teachers. Friday afternoons, beginning at one o 'clock till five o 'clock or is the most unproductive window of the week. Why? Because everybody's taking their plan to go cool it for the weekend. What if you decided I'm going to start pressing the pedal down Fridays between one and five.

12:43That's a separation window of time where before maybe you weren't after it. Now you are, you've changed your identity. If you just do the same things, right? Or you just think different thoughts, but behave exactly the same way. The chances of you separating yourself from where you currently are at the time you're listening to this podcast or this YouTube video and watching it. And a year from now, when we come back, if it's just thoughts, see, you have to have a congruency between the way you move your body, your actions and your thoughts that validates them, that congruency changes you. But if you just think something and act the same way, and don't separate from the former you separate from the former thought, then eventually the body overtakes the mind, your body is your unconscious mind, It's your subconscious mind.

13:29The thought is conscious. The body's your subconscious mind. So if you can begin to move your body in congruency with your thoughts, maybe a new company, maybe a new family, maybe a new relationship, maybe a new body, maybe new finances, but the actions have to be in congruency with the thoughts, the body moving as you think. That's how we separate. And so I want you to begin to think about, well, Friday afternoons, I could separate. Another thing that happens, most entrepreneurs slow down on weekends. Saturdays are huge separation seasons for entrepreneurs. Most entrepreneurs cool it on Saturday.

14:01I'm not suggesting you have to work Saturdays, but if I were trying to find, because life's a game of inches in the big time, it's not yards that separate the great ones. It's not yards that take people who are functioning at a high level and they go a little bit higher. It's inches. It's a game of inches. In fact, these inches are so small. It's almost too scary to talk about because it's that small of a thing. When you start stacking up one more, but you separate. So what's another place where I might separate Saturdays, Saturdays, Friday afternoons, right? These are places where you can separate.

14:34They slow down. They flinch. You blow their doors off. You know what I'm talking about? And as you're doing it, I'm doing stuff. No one's willing to do. I'm going to get things. No one's going to get, or maybe the thought is I'm doing stuff I've never done before. So I'm going to be a whole new me and get a life I've never had before. This is how you change, how you view you. By the way, there's a whole bunch of other ones too. There's the summertime. There's evenings. A lot of people just assume once I'm home, well, what if you could carve out a half hour in the evening and disappear and do some emails that the average person doesn't do or disappear in the evening?

15:10You've had your family time or, but you kind of carve it out or you do a second workout like in 75 hard in the evening because no one does second workouts, but now you do. So there's these things where you can separate. It's abstaining from a particular behavior for a window of time that separates you. It's like, you know what, I'm not going to eat this way or I'm not going to drink this thing or smoke this thing I smoke. I'm going to put that down and separate from the former me. I'm changing my behaviors. If you're an athlete and you're that person who always stays the latest, right? Stay 15 minutes more.

15:44Stay another 15 minutes. Separate from the former you. All of these inches add up. Here's another way you can separate yourself. Just me seems small. You're at a social function. You sort of see the person who's left alone that nobody knows. It's very uncomfortable for me to walk up to a stranger, but what I've built the habit of is separating from the former me is approaching somebody in a social circle. I can tell is the one who doesn't know everybody there and going over and welcoming them and introducing myself and getting to know them and asking them what their story is. Maybe the way you separate yourself is here's a huge one that you could do starting now.

16:19You ready? Stand up for somebody when they're not there and another person is gossiping about them. You want to separate and feel great about yourself? You know exactly what I'm talking about. We all get into these conversations where there's a little gossip about another person. What if you started to separate from the former you, separate from the average minority person and stand up for that person when they're not present to defend themselves and say, hey, I don't know if any of that's true, but that's not something I want to be hearing about. Or you know what? I know so-and-so and I don't believe that's true.

16:48I don't think they would do or say that. And I don't like that we're talking about this. It makes it uncomfortable. We're both better than this. And so what if you started to do these little things could start to tell you, you know what? I'm different. I'm behaving differently. I'm a little bit better than I used to be. I'm separating from the former me. I'm separating from what average and ordinary people do. Average and ordinary people do all the things reverse of what I just said. They cool it on Friday afternoons. They eat the full piece of cake. They slow down on their workouts. They don't get creative around the holidays.

17:18They gossip about other people, don't they? They don't create new thoughts. They don't do the extra rep at the gym. They don't stay disciplined to their diets, right? They don't put in a little extra effort in the evening. They don't do anything on Saturdays. So all of these things are opportunities. I think what you're going to find, if you really begin to think about separating from the former you and becoming the better you, almost nobody goes up to that person who's alone at the party. You know what you're going to find out? This thing we call winning or bliss or self-worth, self-confidence, identity, isn't as difficult as we think it is.

17:55it's little inches and when we're aware and we're intentional and we get creative and innovative about places we can separate ourselves i mean it may sound really silly and stupid because i'm an introverted person but one of the ways i separate myself this may sound really silly guys i smile and say hello to strangers often because almost nobody does it i would have never done it before and just to give them the gift. You're going to think I'm crazy. I walk by people sometimes. If I can't make eye contact, I literally say a prayer. Peace be with them. You think, why would you do that? Well, one, I want to pray for them.

18:31And two, it's a way for me to feel better about me. I'm doing something. Thousands of people walk by that person, didn't see them, didn't say hello, didn't smile. And even if I didn't do that, almost nobody'd say a quick prayer for a stranger, right separation season next level make a few extra phone calls and text messages this year that almost no one's going to make instead of texting that friend that you talk to all the time you know that's the normal behavior separate call them let them hear your voice maybe that person you have not texted or talked to in a long time send them that text send it to multiple people let them know you care about them you know how you all get that text everyone sends merry christmas Happy New Year that everybody gets.

19:14Separate yourself and make them voice notes this year where you personally say it to somebody. Takes a little bit more time. Might be an extra couple hours. Do it. You want another way to separate yourself? Do it before New Year's Eve and do it before Christmas Eve. I'm going to give you a tip. Everyone gets all their messages on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. How about you leave your voice notes or your text message two or three days early? Hey, I wanted to be the first or I wanted to get in there early before everybody's hearing about you. I wanted you to know I was thinking about you. When New Year's happens, how about doing it December 29th?

19:46Just say, hey, New Year's is coming. We're all going to get flooded with messages. I've already made my plans. I know you have. And reach out early. That's a separator. It makes you different. It makes you unique. And it makes you begin to separate from the former you, and you separate from your competition. If you want to move apart from where you are currently, it's what you're going to do now, right now, and into next year. that's going to make the difference, not what you say and not just what you think. Now, I've done millions of hours with you guys on what you think can impact how you act.

20:20I understand all that. But at the end of the day, there's too many people just thinking they can think their way into changing their life. You can't think your way into doing it. You must physically do it. You must physically separate. And I'm going to give you the mother of all great news about separation season. you ready millions of people are hearing this show right now or watching it and less than one percent will do any of the things i've said is that incredible less than one percent so by virtue of doing anything i've said today any of the things not all of them and some of you will do all of them but any of them any one of them you have separated yourself from about 99 of the people But more importantly, if you do just one of them, you've separated yourself from the former you into a growing, better you.

21:14So I love separation season. When they get weak, when they flinch, when they relax, when they kick back, when they take a haul a month or a haul a week, we take our holiday. And even on our holiday, we find our little goofy, crazy ways to separate ourselves. And you know what you could do really big time this holiday season? Separate yourself by having more fun. See, none of the things I said can steal from fun. Don't have to take from your fun. What if you decided this is gonna be the most blissful, most fun holiday of all time, and you know what? It doesn't matter what the conditions are. I've had some health issues too.

21:48I've had some family issues too. I've had my best friend and father pass away too. So I understand all that, okay? I relate to a lot of the pain many of you are going through. I connect with that. I'm being vulnerable with you. And guess what? This is going to be the most blissful separating season of my dadgum life, because I'm going to honor these difficult times by coming out of this a better man, an improved man. And I don't do that by hoping it or thinking it. Even though those things help, I want to hope. I want to think. But I got to do. And they're simple little things. These inches are the separators.

22:24The sad thing in life is people think they have to make these massive dramatic changes in order to create the catalyst for long-term change. Most massive chains are simple fine-tuning type carburetor adjustments that we make that end up overhauling the engine of our life long-term if we're willing to get creative and innovative. So I want all of your thoughts, your vision, your paradigm, the matrix you start to see the world through starting right this moment. How can I separate? How can I separate? Separation from competition? Separation from the former me? How can I separate my body? Separate my mind?

23:02Separate my family? Separate my moments? Separate my nutrition? Separate my business? Separate my money? Everyone spending extra money? I ain't doing that this year. I'm separating. Everyone overeats? I ain't doing that this year. Everybody cools their workouts? I ain't doing that this year. right? All of these things begin to be catalysts for change. And you stack up all these inches. And this time next year, there's a different woman standing there. There's a different man standing there. It won't be perfect. There'll be things you need to do then to separate from that person. But I want you to remember this lastly.

23:32We're not separating from where we are because there's something wrong with us. That's not the reason. You're exactly the way you're supposed to be because that's exactly who you are right now. All you can do is start from where you are one day at a time, one more at a time and separate. And guess what? In a year, you'll be exactly the woman or man you're supposed to be at that time. And we'll be talking about separating from there as well. That's the journey of life. We're either growing or we're dying, right? And I want you to grow and we grow by separating. So today was brief to the point tactics, strategies, share this with people get the message out to your teams if you're in business that it's time to separate as a team as a company get it to your children your family the athletes you know it's time to separate one way you can separate yourself is get closer with me max out two minute drill every day on instagram when i post if you make a comment first two minutes you're in a drawing you can learn coaching with me a lot of people been doing that we're showing them on instagram ride on the jet my book max out gear meet my guests all kinds of cool stuff see me speak if we ever get to do that in live events again, which we will.

24:38And if you miss the first two minutes when I post, just make a comment every single day on every post, five, six days a week. You do that, you're in a drawing as well. And if you reply to other people's comments, it increases your chances too. And we're consistent. We pick them every Sunday, the winners for the week. So that's one way to separate. Most people don't do it. Millions of people listen to the show. Only thousands comment. So that's a way to separate too. God bless you. Separate this year. Max out. This is the Ed Milet Show. We'll be right back.