Jon Gordon Reveals The Mindset Shift That Builds Winning Teams

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2:15This is The Ed Myred Show. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So today is one of my favorite days of the year because I get to spend this time with all of you and with one of my best friends in the world. He's the author of 30 prolific books. And I just got to tell you, everywhere I go, people ask me, do you know John Gordon? Everywhere I go. And the reason is because his influence reaches all over the place. I mean, he's about to do an event with some of the top NFL coaches, Major League Baseball coaches, college football coaches, TV and radio. He is a leader to leaders. is how I would word it.

2:52And he's just an incredibly good man. He's somebody that I look up to, somebody that I take advice from. You need to enjoy this conversation because there's a 50-50 chance he's going to turn pro and pickleball here soon and not author any more books. But before he does that, he's authored another book that I read many months ago that I'm excited to share with all of you and his thoughts about it called The Seven Commitments of a Great Team. John Gordon, welcome back to the show. Ed Milet, you are not just the interviewer today. You're my great friend as well. I love you, brother i love you and i gotta tell you everywhere i go people say you actually know ed my life are you kidding me but i just want to honor you for a second i know you weren't expecting this but not only are you one of the top three speakers in the world we always joke about that world class but but as an interviewer the best thank you in the world how many people could say they speak and also interview i was thinking about you as i was coming over the best interviews i've ever had are with you.

3:49Oh, thank you. Everyone I talk to experiences the same thing. Thank you. There's an energy you give. There's a way you ask questions. You're just, it's like the natural. You are so great at this. I just want to acknowledge that. I love you, brother. By the way, he teased me about being top three, but he really thinks I'm not a one. Exactly. He knows how sensitive I am to that topic. So I want to really get into this. Now, by the way, I want you to all lean in here today. You all are building a team. So today we're going to look at it from business mainly and sports, but also you're building a family.

4:19And so all of that to me is a form of a team. That's what we do as human beings. And so there's so many things in the book. John's work is unique. And I want to start with something that stood out to me because this notion of commitments as opposed to goals. Why does that matter? Why is commitment greater than goals? Everyone has goals. They have a vision for the year. And you and I are big on visions and having dreams and even having goals, they're important. But will your goals take you to where you want to go? No. Your commitments will. When you are committed to your goals and you take action and you commit day in and day out, you actually will realize your goals.

5:00If you have goals without commitments, that's a vision without execution, right? You have to take action to realize it. So if you want to be great, you have to be committed to what you're doing. If you want to be a great team, you have to have commitments as a team in order to be great. I asked the team the other day, I was with a professional baseball team, and I said, how many of you have your goals written down? And most of the guys had their goals written down. I said, how many of you have your commitments written down? No one had their commitments written down. And then we wrote down their commitments.

5:32It's a different conversation. My commitment is to recovery. My commitment is to eating healthy during the course of the season so I stay healthy. My commitment is to actually showing up and preparing more or watching film in order to get better. So there's a commitment that then leads you to being your best. So is the commitment, I want to dig deeper on that. So, because I'm going to steal it from you. So if I have a goal, you're saying the commitment delivers on that goal, help us break it down. Like in our own life, like if someone's building a company right now and the goal is, you know, we're going to reach a million dollars in sales this year and you're going to make a hundred thousand dollars a year, help us work through what would the commitment part, if you were working with that company, what would, how would you help them delineate and distinguish what the commitment part i would identify what our goals are so first i would say actually what's our vision okay what do we want to be then i would talk about the why why do we want to do that what is our purpose we don't get burned out because so what we do we get burned out because we forget why we do it so why is essential vision is essential and then okay what is our goals what numbers do we want to achieve what kind of outcomes do we want So now we have these goals, we have these outcomes.

6:39Okay, what are our commitments? Sales, how many calls are we going to make every single day? Customer service, how will we show up for our customers? How will we serve them, make them feel special? How will we be committed to each other in the course of that year in terms of working together and honoring each other and being there for each other and sacrificing for each other, supporting each other? How will we do that as a team? So every team has to make these commitments to realize these goals. But you got these numbers, and then each department will have the commitments to achieve those numbers.

7:14It's really interesting. Those of you that are listening, by the way, the great thing about John, when he comes on and he has a book, he'll just tell you the book because he knows you're going to go read it anyway. A lot of authors are like, I'll give you a little piece. And the reason the interviews are so good with you is because you're so forthcoming with the information. And you and I were talking before you got here today that I'm on this sort of kick to get my physical body back in shape. So I've got a dramatic weight loss goal that I've got. Really wanted to get down to my college weight.

7:40And so I've got that goal. But to your point, it's my day-to-day commitments about when I'm eating, what I'm eating, when I do my cardio, when I do my stretching and lifting. It's the commitments that I'm sort of obsessed with. Now that I think about it, it's kind of been my formula for achievement. I'm like a commitment freak when it comes to getting things done. You really are. You are next level in your commitments. And you inspired me to work out. Like every day, I work out now. every day i'm walking i'm exercising i'm eating right those commitments on a daily basis actually lead to the results that you have and want at 54 i feel better than ever you look great yeah you look great too but i would not be looking great if i didn't meet you thank you and i did not get committed to my health to my weight so i i think commitments and weight and health are probably the best examples of of seeing an action because everyone could say okay i have this goal of losing weight or this goal of getting fit and then i know my commitments to eating healthy will will get me there if i eat that chocolate cake every day that's not being committed right exactly by the way i know it sounds like we compliment each other a lot you guys is because we we really have a mutual affection but like in my case my faith is what's grown which is far more important than what i've helped you with with your physical part my walk with jesus has really improved and grown and i attribute a lot of that to knowing you and one of the reasons is is i see how committed you are to certain things like your faith walks and being in scripture and things like that.

9:02So these are day-to-day commitments I've now made that have really changed those things. And it's, it's modeling you. Can we talk about prayer for a second? I'd love to, because what you just said is so profound and so important because I have recently been more committed to prayer. So every morning I'm now walking and I am praying. I'm trying to get couples to pray together. Cause if you pray together, 99 % stay together. Research is clear on this. So couples who pray together are more likely to stay together and have a better marriage. So if you can commit to prayer in your relationship, in your marriage, you will elevate your relationship.

9:36If you can commit to prayer in your own life, you'll actually find more healing, more peace, and more power. So I take these walks of prayer now every single day. I go through that prayer acronym of praise, repent, ask, yield, expect, receive. By the time I'm done, I feel better. If I don't commit to that action on a daily basis, I do not have the feeling, the outcome, and the healing and the power that I'm now living with as a result of that. Oh, boy. All right, we're going to go personal on you now. Since we're in this lane, let's go a little layer deeper. You probably wonder, how does a guy who used to own bars end up writing 30 books and sell millions of books?

10:14And I would say it, particularly in the sports space, but even beyond that, leadership, faith, is known as the guy in that space, right? How does that happen? This guy used to own bars, everybody, okay? Right? This is not, and he wasn't, by the way, a Christian many, many years ago. No, he was not. What are the commitments and practices? So this is a really cool part. I know how it happens. Tell them how this book came to you. How does a guy, you ever think about that? Like, how am I going to get, how do I do it again? If you've ever given a speech, you've made a post on, where's the next one going to come from?

10:43Tell them where basically these books come from, but since we're talking about the seven commitments of a great team, Tell them how this book came to you and how you wrote it, because I think this is very telling commitment-wise and habit-wise. Well, I'm 54 years old now. I feel like I've been writing this book my entire life because I've been on teams my entire life, going back to college being a lacrosse player and wanting to be a great lacrosse player. I had to be committed to getting better, committed to pursuing excellence, committed to practicing and elevating my game, my mindset, all of that.

11:16But I did not have a great mindset back then. That's the funny thing. My teammates cannot believe what I'm doing now. You're the positive guy. They're like, you're the positive guy? You were a mental wreck in college. I remember you going, no, why is this happening? Why am I injured again? Like, I was a mental wreck. I really was. But I had this great coach, Coach Moran. And Richie Moran was the best. He believed in me. He recruited me. He brought me to Cornell. And he gave me a shot. And I'll never forget him for that. And I'll never forget him believing in me and the way he loved me. And beyond college, like after graduating, was still involved in my life.

11:54He wasn't just my coach for four years. He was my coach for the rest of my life. And so about a month before he passed away, I gave him a call. And we were talking. And he said, remember, John, teammates are forever. Teammates are forever. And I couldn't get that out of my head. It's in the book. Yeah, it was for a couple years. That's the beginning of the book. And I knew I wanted to write about a coach that impacted a player, but also a team that impacted each other, a team that was committed together because of their coach and because of each other. And this book is an embodiment of all the principles, all the ideas, all the lessons I learned as an athlete, but also all the work I've done with teams along the way.

12:38So, and I walk every day. And while I'm walking, I pray. and all my books have come to me during that time. And this book came to me on a walk. I'm walking, I'm praying and boom, I got seven commitments of a great team. I didn't have all the commitments, but I knew that was the title. And then I started to think about what those commitments were, what truly makes a great team. And I began writing them down. It's gotta be about staying positive. That's one, definitely. A great team stays positive together. You have to commit to the vision and mission. I knew that was one. And so as I was writing these down and walking more and more of the story came to me, the ideas came to me.

13:14I wrote this book, Ed, in 16 days. Gosh. Now, people often think, well, 16 days, it can't be a good book. My son said I shouldn't tell people it was 16 days. No, it's incredible. But I actually think it was so magical in writing this because I was walking and praying. It was a divine download. It was. It just flowed like no other. It's never taken me that short of a time to write a book, but 16 days I had this book, and when I read it, I literally cried as I read the audio book of it because it's so special, so impactful, so meaningful in terms of the story, what happens. People will read it. They're going to be inspired.

13:47They're going to be encouraged. They may cry a little bit, but they're also going to realize, wow, I could be a more committed team member and I can get my team committed. Can't wait for people to read it. Me too. And by the way, you guys, John's writing style is unique just to him. It's why it's so easy to read and takes you on this journey. And I remember the day, I don't know if you know this but the day you took the walk that night you called me or texted me and said i just got my book yeah then i just want you all know that's where the strategy comes from so we're talking about prayer we're talking about having rituals we're talking about his is that what basically is a prayer walk imagine that get a download like that in your life what if it was your next business idea your next concept your next thought your next strategy so it was awesome brother and i got the next two others from a prayer walk and i want to thank you also for reading it you were one of the first to read this book and gave me feedback really meant the world tonight.

14:37Thank you, brother. You guys all hear that? That's a long road, by the way, but I want you to understand it for this reason. First off, if you'd have froze when he was bartending and I said, hey, you'll be one of the most prolific authors in the world 20 years from now, everyone would have laughed at you, right? Laughed and thought it was crazy. And then also, many of you have a dream. You're going to have to stabilize your life to some extent before you jump in and pursue that dream. Most people aren't willing to do the grind work to get to the good stuff. They want to be planted in the dream immediately, not do the stuff that's required of you to get into a position.

15:09When I started my business, I'll just tell you all this. When I started my business, it didn't go well in the very beginning and I had to go stock shelves at night at Safeway. I'd stock shelves all night long, get a couple hours of sleep, put my suit back on and go do business all day long until I could find a way. But what I wasn't going to do was quit on my dream altogether. If you really want it bad, your obsessions become your possessions and you'll eventually possess them. So, hey, guys, I want to jump in here for a second and talk about change and growth. And, you know, by the way, it's no secret how people get ahead in life or how they grow.

15:40And also taking a look at the future. If you want to change your future, you've got to change the things you're doing. If you continue to do the same things, you're probably going to produce the same results. But if you get into a new environment where you're learning new things and you're around other people that are growth-oriented, you're much more likely to do that yourself. And that's why I love Growth Day. Write this down for a second. GrowthDay.com forward slash ed. My friend Brendan Brouchard has created the most incredible personal development and business app that I've ever seen in my life.

16:05Everything from goal-setting software to personal accountability, journaling, courses, thousands of dollars worth of courses in there as well. I create content in there on Mondays where I contribute, as do a whole bunch of other influencers, like the Avengers of influencers and business minds in there. It's the Netflix for high achievers or people that want to be high achievers. So go check it out. My friend Brendan's made it very affordable, very easy to get involved. Go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed.

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17:12Rinse takes your laundry and hand delivers it to your door. Expertly cleaned and folded. So you can take the time once spent folding and sorting and waiting to finally pursue a whole new version of you. Like Tea Time U. or this tea time you or even this tea time you said you hear about Dave or even tea time tea time tea time you so update on Dave it's up to you we'll take the laundry rinse it's time to be great let's get back to the book a little bit I want to get back to the book so the second commitment in the book he has these seven commitments right I'm going to give you a few of them today one of them is staying positive And I was like, oh, John Gordon, the positive guy.

17:55That's pretty basic stuff. But in the real world, okay, once pressure hits, once failure hits, once setbacks hit, it's very easy in a company, in a family, like you and Catherine during that difficult time, start pointing fingers. No, it's your fault. No, it's your fault. No, it's you. Well, if you would just do this, then I could do that. And that happens in a locker room as well, right? Like a guy drops a fly ball. Very easy to get negative. Someone misses their assignment, doesn't practice, doesn't show up. in in business same thing like you know when a problem comes the normal ceo the average one who's to blame rather than solving the problem how do you stay positive that's easy in the good times that commitment how does someone stay committed and i guess if it's a commitment it's different than we should when the sheesh hits the fan it's important to know that the collective belief and optimism of a team is made up of each person's belief and optimism so each person says, I'm going to stay positive for myself and for my team.

18:52I'm going to feed myself in order to feed others on my team. And then collectively we make a decision. We make a commitment. This is why this is in the book, a commitment that we will stay positive to challenges, to adversity, to setbacks. Everyone's positive during training camp because you're undefeated. Everyone's positive in the beginning of the year, usually, because you're just getting started. But as we move on and we face adversity, as you said, we face setbacks, we face challenges. how do we respond to the adversity do we stay positive through it now here's what i know being positive won't guarantee you'll succeed but being negative will guarantee you won't and so often what we believe determines what we create i went up to speak to the commanders before the playoff series against the uh playoff game against the tampa bay buccaneers this year and i went up there and i talked about the power of belief brotherhood and be you and i said listen guys you believe and that's where you are right now because of your belief.

19:45You're here because of your belief. But every team must rise higher in the belief. As we reach new levels, we get new devils, new challenges. So your belief must rise higher individually and collectively. And that belief of a team, that staying positive through adversity will define the kind of success you have. So every team is going to get tested. How do we respond to the test? That's key. Every family will be tested. every marriage will be tested i think too many people give up when they face the challenge too many give up when they face that setback and because it's hard they give up no we're not supposed to give because it's hard we're supposed to stay focused and positive and stay encouraged to overcome the discouragement that makes us give up the positive thing i want to stay on it for a sec um why i think this matters let's set sports aside let's just do like personal relationship for a second okay you're building a family uh that's hard when when when you're really in that disagreement phase to stay positive you and i both struggle with that we you know that it's not easy for either one of us but one of the reasons that it's so important and i want you to talk about this it's not in the book i want us to talk about it is the damage done when you're not that can become irreversible so if you're building a company for example and um it's gone bad and the leader, because I've done it, doesn't stay positive and attacks, accuses, blames.

21:14And if you're not careful, you can say something in those moments, in the difficult, dark times in your company or in your marriage or to your children that is unforgettable. And although your relationship may get better, it'll never be the same one it was before you said those things in the negative. Does that make sense? Yeah, big time. And so let's just unpack that a little bit. I want your thoughts on that because stay positive. The ramifications of not at least attempting to trend in that direction can ruin a long-term business relationship. They can alter the direction and the destiny of a personal relationship as well, my opinion, if you don't at least have a commitment that we're going to try to stay positive and stay out of the negative.

21:59As a relationship, as a family, as a business, I do a lot of work in positive leadership. My mission is to develop positive leaders who make a positive impact in every business, school, team, organization, and community. Now, people think positive leadership is about hunky-dory and being kind all the time and generous. No. Positive leaders are demanding. They're just not demeaning. And there'll be moments when we need to be demanding, but we can't be demeaning. There'll be moments when we are frustrated, but we can't allow our frustration to cause us to say things that we wish we didn't say. So often we do it because we're activating the reptilian part of our brain.

22:38And if you know anything about a reptile, it will never love you. It's all about survival. Well, when you're in survival mode and you're activating the reptile, it actually hijacks the rational part of the brain called cortical inhibition. So it hijacks it, and you say things you wish you didn't say. You act in ways you normally wouldn't act. And so it's actually the reptile. reptile but it only works once as an excuse like my reptile ate this positive dog part of the brain is what i call it and only works once as an excuse and and the key is to know that okay just really be intentional know that you have a quarter second at every moment a quarter second to override the reptile with what i call the positive dog the loving rational kind part of your brain and you have that quarter second so we have to just slow down take a deep breath and be potential and there have been moments when i wanted to say something and i didn't maybe a better leader in that moment there have been times when i said things i wish i didn't say and you can't take it back as you said yep you can only apologize afterwards and as a leader you're true there are moments that you do need to ask for forgiveness and apologize there have been moments with my kids where i said you know what i said that i'm sorry it was in the heat of the moment i wish i didn't say that yep can you forgive me and you're right they'll never forget you saying that and there are moments i'll be driving or walking and thinking god why did i say that yeah god i wish i didn't do that back then god i wish i was a better person then like i am now but we also have to give ourselves grace some grace and know that it's not who we were it's who we're becoming and along the way no one is perfect we all have flaws yeah and i think if the kids that you have see your flaws but they know you're working and getting better that allows them to see that they're not perfect too and they can get better as well by the way which is commitment for in the book committing to get better right i gave a a talk a couple weeks no i was actually getting interviewed a few weeks ago the guy's like well you're just a leadership guru and you built these businesses and podcasts and stuff and i said i'm gonna be really honest with you and it was just i i'm the older i get the more i'm just brutally honest in front of groups too and i said uh i've become pretty convinced i'm not that great of a leader the older i get the older I get, the more I realize what I don't know.

24:50Maybe just a skosh of humility sets into my life. The more I'm, I wasn't a great leader. I was a inspirational leader, but I wasn't a great leader. I could have treated people better. I could have been more patient. I could have been more tactical. I could have spent more time. There's just so many things. And I'm not a great leader, but I do want to get better. And I'm committed to getting better. And I've been committed to getting better for quite some time. And so when you first gave me the copy of the book, which was many, many months ago, and I'm like, commitment to getting better. Man, I don't know which one's the most important commitment, but for me, if we can have a commitment in our family or in our company, right, or in our team, I'm going to get better.

25:38I'm always trying to get better. And I know that's your intent. To me, that opens up a lot of room for grace and a lot of room for growth so i just want you to talk about that i see it all the time i am not the best leader either it's ironic i'm the best at helping leaders become better like that's what i'm great at helping a leader build their team i believe i've worked with more leaders and helped them build more teams than just about anybody on the planet so i'm great at that yep but i am not a great leader and i say it all the time which which is ironic to me i'm not a great leader i watch these leaders i work with these leaders and i go man they are great you spend time with dabo Sweeney like he is a great leader I was just saying that to Zach Johnson a couple weeks ago I ran into him I go let's talk about Davo I don't know if there's a better leader anywhere spend time with Sean McVay great leader so Corey Close great leader Alan Mullaly who turned around Ford and Boeing spent time with him great leader I'm not that kind of leader but but the goal as you said is to always get better and my team the other day actually said to me John we know you're working at it we can tell because you write about positive leadership this is your mission and we know you struggle but we can tell you are really working at it and actually putting your own principles into practice i had to do it during covid i lost a hundred percent of my business during covid in three days three days that was a tough time let's talk about commitment yeah putting this into practice and i'm walking around the house going every text was coming in cancelling one more event after another i was like darn it darn it next day i'm like damn damn next day i'm like shit next day fuck i don't know if you can say that on podcast but i you know the positive guy said that positive oh yeah and my wife goes it's gonna be okay john i said no it's not it's not no john it's gonna be okay go no no we're done like we're losing everything she goes aren't you the guy that writes these positive books don't you tell everyone how to stay positive like yeah she was you know follow your own advice i made a decision in that moment a commitment that i was going to stay positive and get better during that time during COVID.

27:43It was a defining moment in my life to get better and to stay positive during that time. Got my team to do the same. And we started putting out a lot of positive messages to the world. Talked to a guy the other day, a new client. He said, we had 500 people during that time. They were reeling. They were in deep trouble. They started listening to my messages that I was putting out there because I made that commitment. He said, John, it was huge for us. We stayed positive. We now have 3 ,500 employees. thrive and doing better than ever. The commitment to stay and posit and get better. So to getting better, we all have something we need to improve upon.

28:19And here's the thing about getting better. Like we're not always going to be at a hundred percent. I know that you're not at a hundred percent right now. I'm at a hundred percent. We're always dealing with something, but we can always give a hundred percent of what we have. So even if you're at 70%, give a hundred percent of the, give a hundred percent of what you have in that moment, that day, give your best in order to get better. And then every day as a team ask, what are we doing well? What can we do better? And what are we learning that will make us better? If we ask those three questions every single day as a team, individually and collectively, we will get better as a team.

28:54You just got to ask those questions. And then as a team, you have to challenge each other. There are times when you have to call your friend up and say, hey, I don't see you being your best. I don't see you getting better. Here's what I noticed. Here's what I believe you can do. and you encourage but also challenge your teammates, your friends and others in order to get better. We need people who are going to speak truth in our lives to get better and great teammates, great teammates speak truth to each other in love in order to help each other get better.

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