My Blueprint for Making Tough Decisions

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1:49This is The Ed Myron Show. All right. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the show. So today I want to talk about something we all face, but we rarely feel ready for, and that is making difficult decisions. You know, we get questions submitted to the show often saying, would Ed please cover this topic? And over and over and over again, we're getting so many people saying, would Ed please cover how to make decisions? I have a major decision come up. I have a difficult decision coming up. Does that have a framework for making decisions. And so today we're going to talk about that thing we rarely feel ready for, but that we need to be ready for, which is making difficult decisions, whether it's leaving a job or ending a relationship, maybe it's pivoting a business or just choosing between two options, maybe two good ones, maybe two feel bad.

2:36You know, how do you make a decision where both roads don't look good or maybe both do look good? So tough decisions, they test us and they stir up a lot of things in us, don't they? When you have to make a decision that stirs up fear. I know I've had that. You can start to doubt yourself and that nagging, what if, what if I make a mistake? What if I called the wrong shot? Right. And it all kind of rattles around and ruminates in our head and we almost get analysis paralysis in making decisions. And if there's one thing I would say that I've really gotten good at the last 25 years of my life or so is really making decisions.

3:09I actually have a strategy. I have a process. I have a philosophy about deciding things and it serves me pretty well. I've made bad ones, believe me, but I've actually learned from those. And I kind of know what takes place when I've made bad ones and might be able to save you a bunch of time because I'm going to point some of those things out today as well. So how do we face those choices with clarity instead of anxiety when they come up? Because we need to better you. You know, when you're having fear and doubt and concern and frustration or procrastination, that is not from God. That's the enemy.

3:45If you believe in frequency and vibration, and I also believe in that, I'm just, I'm a Christian. So I believe everything great comes from God and bad things come from the enemy, but I also believe in energy. And I can tell you that it's very low vibrational frequency when you're operating out of doubt. When you make a decision out of doubt or despair or discouragement or anxiety or fear, that's a low vibrational frequency decision. A high vibrational frequency decision is one where you're making it out of clarity and confidence and not needing to be right, by the way. I want to teach you today how to go into making a decision and it's okay even if you're wrong.

4:23So I want to walk you through the way I make decisions and also why decisions can feel so heavy, how to navigate through them and what to do once the choice is made. So you guys ready? This is going to be a good one. Let's get into it. And by the way, I just want to say this to you. I put out all this content. A lot of you say, why do you put out so much detailed content that like other people charge for on a course or whatever? It's because I want to help you. And I also just ask this, the only payment back is share the show, share the episodes so that the show grows and we reach more people and more people lead lives that they're worthy of.

4:56Because I believe when there's more people on the planet, leaving a worthy life, the best life they possibly can, the world's better. And that's the ripple effect of the little tiny thing I'm doing right here. So here we go. The art of making difficult decisions. I'm calling it the clarity in chaos. And I'm going to give you a 12 thoughts, totally disconnected thoughts as I normally do. Thought number one, your decisions shape your destiny. Clarity comes from action, not thought. So when you're sitting around, you got a decision to make. You're like, I just got to think about it more. Think about it more.

5:30Think about it more. actually that's not where clarity comes from clarity comes from taking an action and so one thing i'm going to tell you is don't think so much see i believe the separation is in the preparation you got to prepare but at some point in life you got to call the shot you got to be a shot caller you got to learn to take the heat if you're wrong to apologize if you're wrong to make a course correction to pivot but the people that live the best lives they've they've developed the ability to make decisions. And like I'm going to say later in the podcast, the truth is not making a decision is a decision.

6:02Not choosing is a choice. So clarity does not come from thinking about something over and over again and getting every piece of information you need, although you should get that. Clarity comes from action. Let me give you an example of one decision that I was a major one. I was faced with making about eight, 10 years ago, and it was to move my family. Um, we lived in southern california. I had grown up in southern california Our family was there meaning our parents were there Our kids were enrolled in school, but the fact of the matter was financially it was a terrible idea for me to live in california I was paying millions of dollars a year in taxes I didn't see those taxes going to very good use Housing was getting crazy.

6:41I'm in a businesses all my businesses. I can pretty much live where I want to And uh, so I wasn't locked down to a physical location and I had to really weigh some different things and whether we were going to move. And here's what I knew. Either way, it was going to be okay. But it was a major life and family decision. It would impact my mom and dad. It would impact my children. It would impact my spouse. It would impact friends. It would impact business to some extent. And so I had to weigh things. And the other part of it, why not go? Well, my kids were in school. They had deep friendships.

7:18You know, they weren't kindergarten or first grade anymore. They were getting ready to, you know, middle school and high school. And I had to evaluate what does that do to my children and the needs of my wife and my children. And they wanted to stay. And ultimately, I'm going to teach you how I came to this decision in a minute, but I decided to stay until my children graduated school and sacrifice the financial for the family. And sometimes that's just, you got to weigh those things, but it was, it was a eight figure decision to my detriment, but I made an investment in the joy and peace of mind of my family as well.

7:55And I'm going to show you how I made this decision. It wasn't just in my head, right? In a minute. Then about 10 years later, the decision revisited. Circumstances and conditions changed. And now it was, should we leave? My kids had left. They were in college. and now the decision changed. It was a greater financial impact, but I didn't have the family part weighing on me, but I still had my mom there. My dad had passed away. My mother-in-law was there. My sisters are all there. It was a difficult decision. My nieces and nephews mainly were all there. Most all of my great friends were there versus moving, but moving meant other things, new experience, a new way of life.

8:41Certainly financially, it would be better to live where I ended up moving to Florida. And I almost felt like I had already lived that life, if that makes any sense. Like I had done it. I'd grown up there. I had lived there. Did I want to live another 20 years and essentially the same chapter, the same place. And the conclusion that I made was the upside outweighed the downside. And we made the decision to move. And then all the things that come with that move. When do you do it? Where do you go? But it was a major life decision. And I made it seamlessly. And I don't think it did hurt the family much.

9:12I don't think it did. It helped financially. It didn't hurt business. It helped business. It helped peace of mind. And it's kind of started the dream machine again in my life. My point making to you is conditions change. And so then did the decision. That was one major decision I was faced with. Now, number two, how do you do that? Be aligned with your higher self over simply doing the right thing. And so what I always ask myself when I'm making a decision is, does this align with the hire me? Is the hire me more about the money that I'd saved by moving or is the hire me sacrificing for my children?

9:46And at that time, it was the sacrifice for my children. The hire me called me to make the decision rather easily. Now, was there times I regretted it? Sure. But I think I made the right one. Later, a decade later, when that same decision visited myself and I asked would the higher me do this? The higher me couldn't find reasons that it somehow violated my morals, my principles, what I truly value in my life. Higher self means, does it align with the things you value the most? And so anytime I have a decision, I ask myself, does it align with the values that I hold to be the most precious in my life?

10:20And in my life, it was my family. It was my children, my faith, the church we were connected to, those things. And when those things weren't the same variable, I was able to make a different decision. So here's a way to word it for yourself. You could write down, does this decision honor who you truly are? Not who you're trying to please or impress, but who you truly are. So any decision I make, I just ask myself, does this honor, does this decision, if I make this one, does it honor who I truly am? Not who I'm trying to impress or please other people, but what matters to me. See, this starts to give you a true north.

11:00It gives you a sense of clarity that I was referring to. And by the way, I'm going to give you 12 things. So maybe this thing I'm giving you now doesn't apply to the decision you need to make, but something will of the 12. I could promise you that today. It's why I always give you everything that I can, but does this decision honor who I truly am and not worrying about who it pleases or disappoints or impresses? Cause those things are useless in making a decision. Whether to buy a watch or a car or anything in your life, leave your job, leave a relationship. Does it honor who you truly are? Because if you're buying it to impress other people, that's stupid.

11:37If you're trying to please other people by not staying or staying somewhere, or what are people going to think if you leave your job or your career or your relationship, you're not making the decision for the right reasons. Get above it. Does this decision honor who I truly am and what I truly value. That starts to give you much more clarity and eliminate who will please, who it will impress, because that's irrelevant. Okay? This is good. Third, why decisions feel difficult? Why do they feel difficult when we make them? Well, we have a fear of regret, don't we? What if I make the wrong one, which I'm going to address a little bit later?

12:11Fear of regret. It's a big part of life, living in regret. Number two, fear of judgment. Judgment from others, but actually even of yourself. I have made decisions that later I regretted and I judged myself. You dummy, you should have known better. How did you not see that coming? Because it's happened before, it could happen again. You have these fears that build up that are difficult because you could regret it. You could have judgment of yourself. Other people could judge you. Next thing is this, uncertainty and incomplete information. Decisions are difficult because you're never going to have all the information.

12:44You're never going to be completely certain. People say, I was totally certain. No, you weren't. You're not totally certain of anything. You don't know what's going to happen to you in the next 10 minutes or anybody around you. There's no such thing as complete certainty. And so when you're searching for that, if that's the measuring stick of, I need to be completely certain before I make a decision, you are never going to make any decisions in your life. Well, I might regret this. If you're worried about regret, you're never going to make a decision because there's going to be some you regret.

13:09As long as you learn from it, that's different. And by the way, if you're worried about being judged by other people or yourself, you are never going to make a decision because you are going to regret some of them. You are going to be judged, and you're never going to have total certainty. Anybody tells you, I'm totally sure this is what we should do. No, you're pretty sure. You're reasonably sure. You're more sure you should than you shouldn't, but you're not completely sure. And you're never going to have all the information. You can't. So you've got to learn to deal with that. You've got to learn to deal with the unknown.

13:38It was this great story that Carl Edwards told me, the NASCAR driver. We used to sponsor him, and he was a top driver for a long time. I said, what's the most difficult thing about driving a NASCAR? He goes, Ed, it's when there's a crash in front of you, and there's all this smoke, and you've got to drive 160 miles an hour, 180 miles an hour through that smoke, and you don't know what's on the other side. You think, ah, slow down. You can't do that because if you slow down, you get rear-ended for sure from a guy doing 180 behind you. So the hardest part of driving is when there's a crash, there's smoke.

14:06You can't see. You don't know what's on the other side of that smoke. You got to drive through that smoke, relying on your ability to innovate, improvise, change, and frankly, fate. When you get to the other side, your preparation. And the other side, you don't know at the end of that smoke, there's not four cars right there you're going to hit head on. Or something you're going to hit that's going to flip you up in the air and spin 18 times into a wall. You don't know if on the other end of that smoke, you're not dead. And sometimes you get to the other end of that smoke and it's smooth sailing, there was nothing to worry about.

14:36Sometimes making decisions is you got to drive through the smoke and the people that are willing to drive through the smoke, they become the pros. They become the champions because you're not going to have all the information. All you can do is get the information you're capable of getting, evaluate it, call the shot. That's why decisions are difficult. Number four, what's the anatomy of making a difficult decision? Okay, I'm going to give you the anatomy. Number one, emotion versus logic. Okay, let me give you a couple insights from a 54 year old guy I no longer make decisions when i'm emotional period End of story When i'm really high and excited and happy.

15:16I don't make decisions and when i'm really low Down angry frustrated mad disillusioned. I don't make them then either Typically speaking when emotion is high logic is low. I want to make a logical decisions That doesn't mean that we don't make some decisions in our life emotionally and then rationalize them logically. In fact, a lot of people buy things that way. You kind of figure out emotionally, I'd feel this. If I had that, I'd look this way, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You have this emotional and then you logically reason and it's less than the other one. And I'll only pay it off over two years.

15:49So a lot of us make decisions emotionally and rationalize them logically. But when I'm making decisions now, I try to take as much emotion out of it as I possibly can. Now that doesn't mean feelings aren't involved. To me, that's a little bit different than emotion. Feelings is what do I feel about this? What do I feel about that person? That's different than the emotion of anger or fear. Do you follow what I'm saying? Feeling love for somebody will help you make decisions that aren't always logical and that's okay. But the emotion of jealousy, you'll never make a good decision. The emotion of fear, the emotion of anxiety, the emotion of worry, the emotion of anger, the emotion of despair, or the emotion of exhilaration.

16:36That's very different than the feeling of love when you're making a relationship, right? Or the feeling in your gut that this is the right thing to do. Feelings are great. Emotion is different than that. And so I try to take emotion out and I rely on logic and how I feel. Next thing is this when I'm making a decision, the long-term impact versus the short-term impact. What's the impact of this going to be in five minutes, five months, five years, 50 years, if it needs to be evaluated that way. What's the long-term versus the short-term impact? And then this, you're always navigating these things, internal alignment versus external pressure.

17:19Internal alignment, external pressure. And for me, I want to rely on my internal alignment, not external pressure. When i've made decisions under external pressure i've made bad ones you ever have somebody say hey if you if you can't buy this right now You're going to lose the deal That's external pressure usually make a bad decision Or external pressure what someone's going to think Or someone forcing you into a timeline that you don't want Right the external pressure that if you do this, you know What's it going to impact this thing externally? I think through my internal alignment as opposed to the external pressure.

17:55What are my parents going to think? What are my friends going to think? What's the world going to think? What's it going to do to this? I let go of that. Number five, let go of ego-driven choices. If fear, control, and external validation is influencing your decision, I encourage you to release that. when you trust in yourself, you trust in that wisdom that created you. Let me say that to you again. If fear is driving your decision, you're in trouble. Control or any external validation, it's almost always a dumb decision. I could list for you the amount of bad decisions I've made. And almost all of them were for some sort of external validation, fear of what other people we're going to think, control, or something ego-driven.

18:43Ego, by the way, sometimes can be to get attention. Ego sometimes can be to prove yourself. Ego can be emotion. And I want to operate on logic and feeling. And so when you trust in you, you're trusting in the wisdom that created you. I'm going to talk later about trusting in God. That's what I mean by trust in you. I'm going to elaborate on that at the very end. It's step 12, spoiler alert, of course, with me, but you also got to trust yourself. What's your intuition telling you? What's your discernment telling you? What's your gut telling you? See, if I make a decision and it goes the wrong way, but I did it based on my internal dialogue, my internal clock, my internal compass, my internal belief systems aligns with who I am.

19:31I've prayed about it. I've looked introspectively, I've trusted my gut and I got it wrong, I can live with that. But when I make a decision that was out of ego or fear or anger or jealousy or emotion, or I hope I can get attention from this, or what are other people going to think about me? And then it goes wrong. That's hard to live with. So I want to make sure the framework of the decision I make is right so that I can live with it that's wrong. But you imagine making a decision out of ego or anger, which we've all done in our life, or ecstasy or joy or euphoria or some bizarre emotion that's taking place at the time or when we're really down.

20:10Think about the millions of people that have decided to end their own lives in the moment they were down. The worst possible decision they could make in their life they made when they were down. You'd never make that same decision if you were up or in the middle. You'd never make that decision if it aligned. What about anybody who's done something to harm another person in a really terrible way? Crimes of passion. It's almost always out of emotion. Crimes of passion aren't just violent crimes in our society. We commit crimes of passion on ourselves often in the way we treat ourselves or the decisions we make.

20:50Passion about somebody that logically you know isn't good for you. They don't treat you well. They're not earnest with you. They don't tell you the truth, but you commit a crime of passion and stay with them or decide to get into a relationship or have a child with them. Or are you in a workplace where they mistreat you or they don't do things ethically as a company that even are aligned with who you are, but you work there because they give you a big paycheck. It's a poor decision. It'll eventually bite you. We've kept people in businesses I have that I knowingly knew weren't good people, but they were really productive.

21:23And eventually that was a crime of passion. They should have been let go. And they eventually let themselves go or get fired and make a big mistake when they do. So make the decision out of alignment for yourself. You can live with it if you're wrong. But when it's the other, it's hard to live with ever. No crimes of passion on yourself or your own life. Certainly never other people. And by the way, I'm not equating a violent crime with a dumb decision. I'm giving you a metaphor.

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23:15Get quiet. Get away from the noise. Get alone. Get prayerful. Empty your mind. Take a walk. Yes, walking is exercise. Doesn't build muscle, but it's exercise. The quiet mind is where clarity lives. Walking is great exercise for the soul, for the body, and for the mind. I don't try to make any significant decisions until my mind is quiet and quiet repeatedly. By the way, a little rule of thumb for me is when I really wanted to buy something that I knew was stupid, I just wait a month to see if I still want it a month from now. And 99 out of a hundred times a month later, that stupid desire, that crime of passion I wanted to have to buy that thing or that blah, blah, blah, that people will think I'm amazing when I have goes away and logic sets in.

24:04The quiet mind is where clarity lives. If you want to make a clear decision, quiet your mind, get away from the noise and only make the decision out of a quiet place, not a loud place. So instead of pushing or forcing a decision, try listening to what your inner guidance is saying beneath the noise. I really believe the answer is there. I really do. Get quiet, slow down, take the emotion away, get away mentally the answer's there you'll get the inner guidance number seven here's a decision making toolkit for you okay here we go the 10 10 10 rule how will i feel about this decision in 10 minutes 10 months or 10 years earlier i said five minutes etc but a framework that i'll often use depending on the magnitude of the decision 10 minutes from now how will i feel about this decision 10 months from now, 10 years from now.